


Someone Like You (Philip Altman x Reader)

by redlacegirl



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, This Is Where I Leave You (2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:41:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 131,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29249709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlacegirl/pseuds/redlacegirl
Summary: After a lost career opportunity and a terrible breakup, going back home, to the town of your childhood, feels almost like taking 2 steps backwards. But sometimes walking into the past can bring something new for the future.You knew Philip Altman from back in high school, and his reputation preceded him, but he wouldn't make you fall for him with his suave words and his charming smile.But what if he falls for you?
Kudos: 2





	1. Comfort

-It's just a fucking suit!- 

-EXACTLY. It is just a fucking suit, so why the fuck are you getting so upset???- you spat at him.

-BECAUSE I NEED IT. GOD!!- he threw his head back, yelling in frustration.

-Well...then how about YOU go pick it up like the GROWN MAN you are!?-

-I ASKED YOU! YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR ME AND THIS ONE TIME I NEEDED YOU TO...-

-I NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR YOU??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?- your voice grew hoarse, and you snapped.

-I DO ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING AROUND HERE, I WAKE UP AND YOU'RE NOT HERE, I COME BACK FROM WORK AND YOU'RE NOT HERE, WHEN WAS THE LAST FUCKING TIME YOU TOOK ME OUT HUH???- 

-We went to that Association Ball two months ago!!- his eyes widened.

-IT WAS A WORK EVENT THAT WASN'T A DATE! It was so boring i actually almost FELL ASLEEP.-

-Well what the fuck do you want me to do?! What?? Quit?? Huh? So you can feel better about getting fired?!-

You were taken aback, his words shot straight through your gut and choked out the words on your throat, making a deafening silence fall like a bucket of cold water onto both of you. Both your chests were rising and falling with the adrenaline of bottled feelings finally getting loose.

You blinked forming tears away, and your eyes twitched and squinted, taking in your life around you, newly fired from a decent supposed-to-be-permanent job, in an apartment you hated but settled for, with a boyfriend for whom you suddenly felt nothing for, and you hadn't felt nothing for in a while.

And you were tired, exhausted.

-You are a selfish irresponsible prick, and i am fucking tired of making excuses for you.- your words trembled through gritted teeth.

A small part of you hoped that he'd come back to his senses and hugged you, gave you a real apology for once, and actually tried to be better. But that wasn't Nick's way.

Instead he scoffed at you and placed his hands on his hips.

-We're done.- you said without thinking.

-What?-

-I can't be like this anymore. I can't stand it. We're done.- a single tear managed to roll out down your cheek.

You wiped it off in a quick swipe of your palm, walking past him before you punched him in his furrowed brows, how dare he look at you like he hasn't been neglecting you and pushing you away for months?

Like he hadn't been snapping at you and disrespecting you only to try and make it up with gifts later or by trying to be funny, never once a real apology. Like he hadn't been taking out all his stress on ignoring you and dismissing you when you tried to be there for him, or when you needed him to be there, like right about today when you barely made it into the newsroom before you got called to a meeting with your boss. The same boss that had congratulated you on your column just last week, telling you that they were "letting you go", the fancy term for kicking you out.

-What so you're just gonna throw away 3 years of relationship for a suit?- 

I already threw away those years being with you.

-Yes. I'm fed up Nick. I've had it up to here with your lack of communication.-

-You're on that again? Babe i told you I'd work on it, i need...time- his voice had suddenly come down three decibels.

Here we go again...

-I already gave you time Nick, tons of it, we've talked about this a hundred times and i won't fucking take it anymore.- you glared back at him.

A low sharp sigh escaped him and he ran his hand through his hair and down his neck, like he did whenever he was stressed or angry.

-Fine. Leave then.-

A laugh escaped your lips.

-Get the fuck out.- he exclaimed.

-What?-

-You heard what i said, you wanna leave, leave. Get out!-

-And where do you want me to go?- now you were in mild disbelief.

-I don't care, i can't fucking deal with you right now, just FUCKING GET OUT!-

He didn't need to ask you twice, even though you didn't have anywhere to go, having no friends to crash over at their place, and being miles away from home. But still the anger and irritation in you dragged you to the bedroom and into the closet, even with tears blurring your vision you managed to grab a handful of clothes, charger, toothbrush and your other essentials, Nick was still pacing around the room when you sprinted past him and out the door, not looking back.

By the time the cold of the night time streets was icing your nose, you started wondering what to do. You couldn't call Jenna, she was a co worker, maybe a friendly co worker you could talk to, but definitely not stay at her place until you figure out what to do now that you had left the most serious relationship you've ever been in. At the end you opted for a hotel room, at least just for tonight. You'd figure out what to do tomorrow.

What were you going to do?

The question roamed your head no matter what, as you let yourself fall over the hotel bed, looking up at the ceiling, your vision unfocused in thought and only minutes later, it was blurred with tears again, your lower lip trembled and curled up as you let an overwhelmed sob escape your lungs.

No job, no friends, no boyfriend, and (even though for now) no place to live.  
You had come to the big city for the big career at the big company, and now, in a matter of hours, nothing was left from it, even less than nothing, you didn't even have a shoulder to cry on, you had failed, you weren't good enough, at least not at your job.

You let the tears fall down to your temples and the sobs choke out on your throat, all the work for nothing, all the progress you thought you were making for nothing. And you were so tired, you didn't feel like doing it anymore, well, you didn't have to do it anymore. Because apparently, you were not good enough to keep your job.

But you were good enough in your relationship, you knew that, you had let it slide for so long, his distant and closed attitudes, his lack of commitment when it came to actually preserving what you shared. He didn't even bother to try and fix his mistakes, he didn't even bother to apologize, not decently at least. Nick's apologies always came in the form of a bracelet, or a pair of earrings, or joking around until you gave in.

For the last 4-5 months of being with him, it felt like paddling through cement all alone. You kept trying to talk and solve it, he gave you a neutral answer as to keep you barely satisfied, and the issue stayed there since you were both busy and he was truly not open to change. Not even the sex was good, quick, simple, 90% of the time you didn't even cum. You stopped having sex all together about a month ago.

The sudden ringing of your phone startled you, you breathed in deeply and reached for it to decline, thinking it'd be Nick, instead, your mom's contact picture was there.

Great. This is great.

You knew if you didn't answer she would just call again, so you just sniffled and pressed the green button.

-Hey mom- you faked a sympathy tone.

-Hey darling! Finally i catch you near your phone huh?- 

She laughed and you returned it, another tear fell down your cheek.

-Yeah...how's Horry doing?- a part of you was genuinely asking.

-Ah he's been doing fine, you know he might want to speak to you later, why don't you call him?-

-Yeah of course...and how are you mom?- your voice broke at the end, and you cleared your throat to dissimulate. 

You heard her sight, you hoped it wasn't because she noticed.

-I'm okay...you remember the Altmans?-

You blinked, she was talking about your front door neighbors, their mom was a very nice and out there person, and very close friends with yours.

-Yeah i do, yeah, why?-

-Well...Mr Altman passed away...-

-Oh no, that's terrible, I'm sorry mom...- you said genuinely.

-Yes, well, it was bound to happen i guess, in the state he was it's probably for the best...- she trailed off.

You hummed and were about to give her your condolences for Mrs Altman when she spoke again.

-But hey, how are you doing honey? How's everything??- her tone was cheerie again.

The excitement in her voice broke you, you tried to stifle the sobs and loud sniffling but as soon as she asked, everything came tumbling down together, the tears gathered again, and your lips pressed together in overflowing sadness.

As much as you tried for her not to, your mom heard you through the phone, you really didn't want to dump all of this on her and get her worried, but it was too much.

-Y/n? Honey what's wrong? Are you okay?- her tone was back to heavy concern.

-I-i don't know...- you mumbled.

-What happened??-

A ragged breath left you as you tried to speak.

-I...i got fired mom...- your chest tightened with the tears- I got fired, and then i came home, and i f-fought with Nick...and i left him- 

Your voice drifted from chocked out to whimpers as you spoke.

-Ooh honey, my poor baby girl, it's okay...- she whispered.

There was silence as she let you cry out into the phone, you wished you could hug her, or someone, instead of sitting alone in a hotel room with your degrading thoughts.

-And where are you now? Do you have a place to stay?-

-I'm in a hotel...-

There was another pause.

-Darling, why don't you come home?-

-Mom...-you started.

-Just for a while, hm? Take a little break, surround yourself with family and take some fresh air...-

You thought about it, coming home felt like giving up, it felt like going backwards and losing all progress you had made on your adult life.  
Then again, you already felt like you'd lost that today. And with your mom on the phone, all you needed was comfort, and home seemed like the closest thing.

-Okay...- you trailed off- I'll go...just for a while...-

You could tell your mom, even though concerned, was excited about you visiting, and a part of you was as well, but most of you felt defeated, disappointed, and sad.

She whispered a goodnight to you and you hung up, you let out a long sigh and crawled backwards into the bed, your head running a hundred thoughts of how it could all have happened so fast and brutal, and after you'd cried all the worries away, you drifted into sleep, hoping tomorrow your troubles might seem just a tiny bit smaller.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome rats ✨  
> If you're like me you probably think Phillip Altman doesn't get enough love, and i can never find fics with him so i decided to write my own!
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it! For updates and other content you can follow me here or over on Tiktok (@redlace.girl) or Twitter (@redlacegirl)


	2. Warm And Familiar

When you woke up the next day, you didn't exactly feel brand new, your eyes were puffy, dark circles bringing them out, your face seemed pale and dehydrated. As you took yourself in the mirror you were astonished, you looked like actual crap, like a broke college student during finals week, and all in the span of a shitty day. The only part of your image that didn't scream sleep deprived raccoon was the extra weight you had gained these last couple of months from stress eating.

But you had to pull yourself together, you were heading back to the apartment, picking up the rest of your stuff, and getting the fuck out of Nick's life and straight to the airport.

As soon as you stood at the door, your breathing turned slightly ragged, as you knew what was coming, you rolled your shoulders and turned the key, thinking hopefully he wouldn't be home. That would've been too easy.  
He was on the kitchen and came at you as soon as he saw you, blocking your way to the bedroom.

-Babe...-

You always hated that nickname, you didn't know why but it sounded almost fake.

-Let me through Nick.-

-Okay but don't you want to talk? You always want to talk...-

Now inside the bedroom he followed you as you dragged your biggest suitcase out of the closet and started packing as much as the weight limit allowed in the plane. You scowled.

-What i always wanted was for you to give a shit. To stop fucking sleeping on our issues and grow the fuck up. But you won't, and i won't wait for you any longer.-

-Oh come on i did try! Where do you think those dresses you're packing came from huh??- he gestured with his arms and his shoulders in a shrug.

You shot him a look of disbelief, how oblivious can a man get? Every time you thought he was at his top, he outdid himself again. With the dresses in your hands, you reached for the bracelet and the earrings as well.

-These are not apologies, these aren't solutions, they're not even efforts!!- you waved the fabrics on his face.

He kept rambling on about how he had different ways of apologizing and showing that he cared, but never once did he actually say "I'm sorry" although sorry wouldn't even change your mind at this point. That gave you the sign that he evidently didn't give a shit.

Your head was pounding in a combination of the last day and a half, the crying, the yelling, the stress, the clenching of your jaw and the tension on your shoulders were the solid proof that you'd had enough.

Once you were out of the apartment building you let out a sigh, relaxing as you felt the approaching fall breeze freshen your hot head. You knew at some point you'd be back to take out the rest of the stuff from the apartment but for now you just let Nick know you'd be away and to pack it into boxes, it wasn't that much anyways.

***

Thank god you had a savings account, and thank god you didn't share it with Nick. You booked the plane ticket for tomorrow, it was either that or a 10 hour bus ride from Chicago to New York, but you wanted to get there quick, you didn't feel like staying in this city right now, walking past the office building, past the cafe two blocks from there where you'd sometimes have your lunch break, or worse, the restaurant you thought Nick would propose to you in.

You shook away the thought as you made your way through check in the next day, almost hesitating when the woman asked you for your boarding pass. It's like your mind was torn between it's fight or flight response, wanting to get away as far as possible but also not wanting to fall right into mommy's arms just because you broke up with your boyfriend...and lost your job...and don't have a place to live.

The flight was fine, you hated the take off, as always, but at least it distracted you a little. You got on a cab when you arrived after insisting that your mom stayed with Mrs Altman, it was a tough time for them, worse than yours at least, you'd known the Altmans almost your whole life, mostly high school, the closest one to your age was the youngest, Philip, a real petticoat chaser, and also a bit of a douche bag. 

If a frat boy and a suburban neighborhood had a baby, it would be Philip, the suburbs part of the deal was only because of his sometimes friendly and empathetic attitude. What? He wasn't a monster, he just has a reputation.

The sun shone through the window as you approached into town, already feeling the familiar and warm feeling of home, no high buildings or busy intersections, you let yourself relax at the view of the browning trees moving with the breeze until you arrived to your house, you had forgotten to text your mom you were on the cab, but oh well, it'll be a surprise.

Birds chirped in the distance and the smell of cut grass came to you when you stepped out of the cab, you heard as it drove off and you took in the tree lined street and the houses around it, taking notice of the few modifications some of them had made. A small smile took place in your face, suddenly coming home wasn't such a terrible idea, and the weight of the end of the life you had become familiar with dissipated for a moment.

-Hey..- 

A male voice snapped you out of your wandering, and you looked over your shoulder and turned around, you instantly recognize the aquiline nose and the beauty mark stained face across the street from you. Philip Altman.

-Hi- you replied, noticing he was smiling at you.

-You're not from around here?- he crossed the street and stood about 3 feet away from you, had he gotten taller?

You frowned and looked up at him, he had the flirty tone and smirk on, and was looking down into your eyes, the bastard didn't remember you. It's not like he was supposed to but come on, he literally gave you a nickname you loathed and everything.

-You don't recognize me don't you?- you squinted at him.

-I think I'd remember that beautiful face...- he tilted his head and his grin widened.

Following that he actually looked you up and down, you had to fight a laugh, although you couldn't fight a smile, it was actually comical how he had teased you in the past and now he was trying to flirt with you. You regretted not taking advantage of his unawareness.

-Really? You really don't remember me?- it was getting harder not to laugh.

-I'm sorry i don't, but maybe you can remind me over a drink?- he cocked a brow.

-I'm Horry's sister...- you gave him your name in a questioning tone to see if it came back to him.

-Horry's sister?- he blinked.

Okay now it was getting a bit ridiculous, you wanted to give him a pass when you remembered he had just lost his father, although he seemed a bit too flirtatious for someone who's dad just died. Then you thought back to when your own dad passed away.

Well...we all cope differently.

-Oh come on Altman, you had a nickname for me?- you didn't want to say it, it was a bit embarrassing- About my hair...?-

You tilted your head at him, just waiting for realization to kick him, taking a chance to notice how much more polished his features were now, and when he raised his eyebrows you knew it came to him.

-Pigtails?!- he exclaimed, his grin now turned into a surprised smile.

You cringed, you hated that nickname, even though he didn't know it. You wore pigtails during the eight year, you really thought they looked good for some reason, until Philip gave you the tag and one of his friends made fun of you for them.

-That's me...yeah- you nodded slowly.

-Holy shit! I can't believe it, how long has it been?-

He reached for a hug while he said this, well it wasn't a hug, his arm went around your waist and yours gripped at his bicep since your other arm was busy with your bag, and he leaned in and kissed your cheek, you felt blush coming to your cheeks, why did you like it? Maybe cause he smelled so good.

-Um, i don't...i don't know since high school?- you said as you thought.

He went back to his previous stance, this time with a wide confident smile.

-And were you always this pretty?-

This time you couldn't contain the laugh all the way, and you shook your head in disbelief.

-Well, clearly i wasn't...- you raised your brows at him.

...since you don't even remember me.

-Well how about...we get that drink and relive old times?- he chuckled and licked his lips.

-Thanks although I'm not really looking for a one night stand...- you raised your brows.

You didn't know why you said it, maybe you were feeling bold, something in the very casual and open way he carried himself around you made you feel confident. 

-Well you suggested that, i didn't- 

He grinned again, but didn't seem to be affected by your completely out of place comment. When he seemed to return your boldness, you didn't feel like stopping.

-No yeah yeah, you're right, yeah...- you laughed.

You threw one of your bags over your shoulder and reached for your keys. As you did so you felt his eyes on you, when you looked back up to say goodbye, your eyes focused on the all black attire he was wearing, and the way it brought out his face with his also black hair, and suddenly you remembered why he was wearing black.

-I'm really sorry for your loss- you said genuinely.

His smile came down to a thin line and he nodded sympathetically.

-Thank you...i think your mom is in my house actually, do you maybe wanna come over?- he gestured with his hand still in his pocket.

You looked around at your bags and then at him, truly all you wanted to do was get in bed and sleep, maybe bake a whole chocolate cake and eat while in bed as well...

-I'll just wait for her, it's okay, i have to unpack anyways- you didn't want to seem like a jerk- But I'll be sure to come by tomorrow...-

-Yeah yeah sure, we're here all week anyways...some Jewish ritual bullshit- he laughed again.

You smiled up at him and nodded, thinking he'd explain what the Jewish ritual was, instead he licked his lips again and you could swear you saw him look down at yours, and at that you couldn't help but also look at his lips, he had great lips for a guy, Nick's lips were fine but barely thicker than a line, you also made notice of how good the facial hair looked on him.

Welp that's enough.

You thought as you turned around and mumbled a goodbye at him, he gave you another smile and started to leave when he turned again.

-The drink offer still stands, and if you want, the one night stand too- he winked.

You laughed again, now at the door.

-Yeah, hey your reputation called, she told me to run- you exclaimed.

There was another exchange of smiles and you turned to open the door with a key you hadn't used in a long time, as soon as you stepped inside, everything felt even better, it felt embracing and comfortable, and you relaxed right into it.

Home sweet home...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a little note, Philip's gf from the movie will not play a part in this fic, here he broke up with her before coming back home. Just thought I'd clear that out lmao
> 
> I hope you're enjoying! 💋


	3. Playfulness Maybe?

Coming home felt great, right now it felt like escape, and that was kind of what you needed, you didn't want to think or do much, you just wanted to feel fine. Horry was happy to see you, you missed him, you always felt a bit guilty leaving with him here, stuck with your mom forever since the accident, but he seemed okay.

Hugging your mom was a lot tougher than you thought, mostly because you had forgotten how much you needed it two nights ago at the hotel, and a few seconds in the tears had come back, but you wiped them off quickly as she cupped your face in her hands.

-Oh honey...it's okay- she stroked your cheek with her thumb, a smile on her face- I'm happy you're here...-

-Yeah, me too...- you whispered, and you meant it.

You didn't bake a whole chocolate cake, although your mom did buy you ingredients so you could make your soft red velvet cake to the Altman's home, apparently Mrs Altman loved it. Baking was your all time hobby, you always had a thing for it, it was fun and it felt rewarding, and you were actually rather good at it, you weren't good at many things so baking was a bit of a safe space.

-The baker's back!- you heard your older brother enter the kitchen as you were finishing icing the cake.

He smiled and you giggled at his comment.

-If you touch the icing i will chop your fingers- you raised a brow.

-I missed you too...-

You shook your head as you glided one last swipe of the icing on the top and checked it was even, once you were satisfied with it you lined the top with a circle of cake crumbs, simple but pretty. A small smile took place on your face as you walked back to appreciate your work, it had been a while since you'd baked, the last month was incredibly busy at the newsroom and the little free time you had your eyes were too tired and your body couldn't contain a standing position for any longer, writing and editing columns was rarely a sitting down job like everyone thought.

But now here you were, and you still had the touch, you couldn't stop looking at it as you washed your hands and straightened your dress, happy with the tall fluffy cake you'd made. You checked the time, you were technically five minutes late but well, it was across the street, so it was more than fine, you didn't want to be the first one there anyways.

-Ready honey?- your mom came down the stairs, sliding a bracelet on her wrist.

Crossing the street, cake in hand, you wondered if maybe you were a little underdressed, but your mom had assured you the formal clothing had been on the day of the funeral, so you were just fine, you had thrown in a little makeup, not too much but enough to look decent.

A man just a little shorter than Philip opened the door, and you smiled small while trying to remember who he was, the name came back to you when he spoke, Judd Altman. He also took a second to recognize you but when he did he squeezed your arm and guided you in, you hadn't been inside the Altman house many times, it was nice, and big, had a great kitchen that was now filled with food and coffee.

Sticking next to your mom, feeling a bit like a stranger, you exchanged smiles and hellos with a bunch of familiar and unfamiliar faces, the rest of the Altman family was sitting in chairs in a line, in front of everyone, you frowned, you guessed maybe it was part of the "Jewish ritual bullshit" Philip mentioned. Mrs Altman waved at your mom and stood up when she saw you.

-Heeeey y/n! Long time no see my dear- she half hugged you and kissed your cheek.

-Hi Mrs Altman- you smiled at her- I'm sorry for your loss...-

-Oh thank you, i feel better now that all my family is here, you have no idea how tough it's for us parents to be far from our kids...-

You nodded as she spoke, keeping an empathetic smile on your face, she was a nice lady, sometimes very lively.

-Well mom told me you were a fan of red velvet so i made a nice red velvet cake for you- you smiled bigger.

-Ooh you didn't have to but I'm so glad you did!- she laughed- And I'm sorry to hear about your job and your boyfriend...- 

Of course she knew...but you didn't really feel like talking about it yet, apparently she did tho.

-You know some men are just brought up around the concept of material stuff to cope with their lack of communication, some others tend to resort to sexual intercourse for it, that's more distracting of course...- she laughed again.

You nodded at her words with wide eyes, you had forgotten how...open, she was. Luckily she stopped when an old couple came to say hi and you managed to slip out, but not for long, your worst fears were confirmed as you went around the room chatting. Apparently every mutual family friend of your mom knew about you arrival and the reason behind it. You really didn't want to deal with more pity filled looks and head tilts that made you feel like an homeless girl that was rescued from the streets.

Letting out a long sigh, you leaned against the wall of the hallway next to the living area, where everyone was gathered, your head fell back against the wall and you closed your eyes, you knew people were feeling for you, and maybe even thought you must've been desperate if you had come back to live with your mother, because you knew they didn't see this as a visit, nope.

-Hey you!- you whipped your head to the archway from the kitchen, where Philip was standing holding a plate with a piece of your cake.

-Hey- you smiled as he walked to stand next to you. 

-Didn't know you were here- he wrapped his arm around your waist and kissed your cheek, a solid but soft kiss, like yesterday.

-Well, i told you I'd come- you gave him a closed smile.- So how are you?-

It was meant as a comforting polite question about the current events, but he didn't take it that way, his tone lowered and softened.

-Well i'm doing very good now...- he smiled down at you.

You rolled your eyes, half at Philip's nature and half at you for actually blushing and smiling at the comment.

-So what's the ritual?- you changed subjects at your unexpected reaction.

-We have to sit on the chairs for seven days, it's just du...holy fuck- he moaned as he tasted the cake- This cake is great!-

Your eyes widened and you smiled.  
-Is it?-

He nodded and hummed with pleased eyes, still chewing, and swallowed. He looked over to you.

-Have you tried it?-

You shook your head lightly, something in his eyes sparked, like he was waiting for that answer. He grabbed the fork and cut a piece, you raised your hand to take the fork but he placed it right in front of your lips.

Was he really trying to feed you? You raised a brow at him, giving him your best "oh come on" expression, you wondered how many times that move had worked, a small smirk tugged at his lips, letting you know he was only partially teasing. You raised your hand and took the fork from his hand, eating the cake, his eyes didn't leave you as you handed him the utensil back.

-Hm, i could've used a little less cinnamon...- you mumbled.

-You made it?- he looked at you, now distracted from his initial goal. You nodded.- It's really fucking good-

You laughed softly, thanking him.

-I didn't know you guys were jewish...- you started, looking up at him, he laughed.

-We're really not, that right there is where we put the Christmas tree- he leaned forward and gestured extending his arm and pointing to a corner in the living area.

An involuntary laugh followed by a small but embarrassing snort came out of you, you covered your mouth as if that could stop the noise you already made.

-I think my mother's loneliness is just kicking in- he chuckled.

You slapped his arm gently and furrowed your brows.

-Oh give her a break, she's going through a rough time...- you tilted your head at him.

-Easy for you to say, your mom doesn't have a register of your puberty in the form of a bestseller.- he mimicked your tilt and his lip faintly curled upwards in disgust.

-Mm well,- you pretended to think-Thanks to my mom now everyone we know knows about my failed career and my crumbling love life...- 

His face turned softer, but his eyes scanned your face.  
-I heard about the asshole, that guy didn't deserve you, you're too good for him...-

-Really? You know Nick so well?- you teased.

-His name is Nick?!- he exclaimed, laughing with white teeth, his throat bobbed up and down with his deep laugh.

-What? It's a normal name- you tried to fight a giggle.

-Is it short for Nicholas?-

You frowned.  
-No-

-That's just dumb- he shook his head, his eyes just wouldn't leave you, but then again you wouldn't leave his.

-Why??-

-Nick is a nickname, not a name- he cocked his head

-Oh im sorry suddenly you're an old fashioned name guy- you squinted and smiled, clueless as to what he was doing.

-Well my name is Philip...- he said in a smug tone, his body turned to face forward but his head was still in your direction- It's French yknow?-

No it's not

-Ooh yeah yeah...- you nodded- It's actually greek...-

-What? No!- he said in an expression that read "what the fuck are you talking about?"

-Yeah, from Philippos, or Philippides...- you nodded, now your tone was smug.

-Now you're making things up- he crossed his arms, same expression still on his face.

-Im am not. Google it...- you crossed your arms in return and shrugged.

He scoffed jokingly and took his phone out, you waited with a knowing smirk on your face, you actually knew through a classmate you had in college whose surname was Philippos and told you about it, a random fact you never thought you would share. His frown untangled once he read the Wikipedia page.

-Holy shit it is greek- he said as he kept reading.

-See i told you...- you lifted your chin.

His gaze came back up to yours, once again looking through your face, in his expression you saw something you couldn't quite put your finger on, playfulness maybe?

-And how do you suddenly know so much about my name stalker?- he leaned against the wall, smirking- Are you trying to impress me or something?-

You scoffed out a laugh.  
-No, that's your own game Philippos...- 

His lips pressed together and then he ran his tongue over the bottom one, now he had that same face from yesterday.

-Well, that's a shame,- he smiled- It was working...- 

With that last statement he made his grand exit, taking back the plate and leaving with a casual walk, smiling at you over his shoulder, there was a pause before you realized your mouth was left agape as you were watching him leave.


	4. The Only Plan

Phillip's POV:

He was hammering his head trying to remember what she looked like back in high school, he remembered the pigtails, but he could not for the life of him remember her. But fuck she was hot now, those curves and that smile, no dumbass named Nick could possibly treat her right, at least not like he could.

And he wanted to, he wanted to take her to the closest room and treat her so very right as soon as she looked up at him with a pinched brow, and today he was actually looking forward to see her, and there she was, wearing that flowy dress, she looked so pretty, sure she looked hot, but she also looked so pretty, laughing at his jokes, fuck he liked that laugh.

He really couldn't take her out of his head, he knew he wouldn't until he got with her, that's just how Phillip was, he saw someone he wanted and he didn't stop until he got them. He'd back off a bit if she asked him to, he wasn't a pervert, but god he hoped she wouldn't. He didn't think she would, he saw her blush and smile at his comments and actions, and he liked that, but what drove him crazy was how she was right on the verge of flirting but not quite, how she wasn't just following his lead and leaning into him like the girls he usually went for did.

It wasn't a "she's not like other girls" shit, that's just dumb, but he tended to have a very specific type, and the sudden contrast between her and them intrigued him and shit, it got him going the more he thought about it. 

He smiled to himself, leaning against the window of his childhood bedroom, smoking the last cigarette of the pack he had snuck in, a habit he also had back when he was a teenager and he'd lean out this same window to smoke without his parents knowing. He wondered if she smoked, he could picture her sharing a cigarette with him while sitting at the edge of the bed, with his shirt on, covering her thighs partially.

Another heavy puff of smoke came out his lips, and he ran his fingers through his hair, he hadn't had sex in about a month or two, since he broke up with Tracy, his also ex-therapist, cause that's just how Phillip was...He felt a tinge of guilt at the fact that he was already so attracted to someone else so shortly after she left him, but then again maybe she was right, maybe he didn't really love her. Maybe he just wasn't made for relationships, he didn't really believe in love anyways.

Your POV: 

That evening after you got back from the Altmans', you took your bra off and fell on the bed, sighing heavily, you were just a bit emotionally drained. People hadn't seen you in a while, and as boomers tend to do, they indirectly and directly asked what you were going to do, what your plan was and gave you advice you didn't ask for. 

You knew maybe people were trying to be nice, but you didn't want that, you didn't come here to have people feel sorry for you and give you guidance, or better said, pressure. At one point you simply zoned out and nodded, your gaze either drifting to the wall behind them or to the side, as if the room around you could provide some sort of lifeline you could cling to.

The third time you did that, you caught Phillip looking your way, he had that smirk on his face, not quite the flirty one, but another one, you remembered flashing him a small closed smile and him winking at you, making your eyes roll, he chuckled to himself as you shook your head at him, but he made you smile bigger then.

He had been the only good conversation you had had all afternoon, he was fun, even with his very obvious flirting, even when he wasn't actually flirting with you, his eyes were on yours and watched you attentively in a way that made you feel seen, but not intimidated.

A tingle ran up your chest, why would a tingle ran up your chest? You hadn't seen him in years and you knew all he was trying to flirt with you for was to fuck you like one of those high school "girlfriends" he used to have.

Another tingle ran down your stomach, okay you were not actually getting turned on by him, that was ridiculous, you had just come out of a long term relationship, yeah it had been months since you'd been properly fucked, but you were never one for casual sex, and even less with The Philip Altman, you had seen how that always seemed to end.

You scoffed at yourself, he wouldn't tempt you, you wouldn't be one of those girls you always saw dropping to their knees as soon as he smiled at them, even if he did have a nice smile, even if his deep eyes looked down into yours when you spoke, even if he was so tall he actually had to look down at you, even if his hair looks as soft and fluffy as the icing on the cake you had made today, even if his lips also looked soft, and plump, and pouty and pink...

Okay what the fuck?

This was getting stupid, yes he was hot, you had to give him that. But you wouldn't give him the benefit of you pumping up his ego, and you didn't want to fuck him, you knew he'd just drop you as soon as he got bored, you knew he wasn't actually interested.

***

It's amazing how fast you already felt comfortable being home, the familiar scent of the house, not of the structure itself, but of your family, of the people that lived in it, and every memory that stained the air, the calm fall breeze scratching through the tall trees with birds singing, you could feel yourself relax as soon as you woke up, and you felt so unbothered and happy to simply be here and far from Chicago.

But these feelings didn't last long, specially after the parade of questions from people yesterday, one of them sticking to the front of your brain and written in your gaze.

"What are you going to do?"

You had been asked the same question a few times in your life, sometimes when you fucked up in something, but in this case, it meant "What's the plan?". You had lost the good job, you had left the guy you thought would marry you, and you had fled from the city you moved to to build your career.

But that's the thing. That was the plan. It was the only plan you had, and it was supposed to work, you knew plans didn't usually go the way one wanted them to but this one was working, it was all good, it all seemed to head straight, and now you were back to square one.

Maybe to other people, it didn't look like the worst thing in the world, yeah sure finding a job and a decent rent was though these days but that wasn't what your big fuss was about. It was because you had failed at your own game. It was because it felt like starting from where you were years ago. Yes, you had the college degree in Journalism, yes, you had the experience at the high standard newspaper from the nice part of Chicago, but you weren't worried you wouldn't find another news room.

You were worried you didn't want to find another news room.

The thought rounded your head for a while as you drank your coffee, until Horry came downstairs with a backpack hanging from his shoulder, and you were thankful for the distraction.

-Morning beach boy- you said, he turned to you.

-Morning pigtails- he flashed you an evil grin.

There was no way he knew about the nickname, you threw your head back groaning, you could already assume where he had found out.

-Did Altman tell you to call me that?- 

-Yes he did, he also asked me for your number- he said slowly.

You frowned, the guy didn't seem to have any shame huh? Horry would break his sleek nose if he knew what Phillip was trying.

-Did you give it to him?- you asked, not eagerly, just genuinely curious.

His lips pressed into a thin line as he looked away, thinking, he blinked a few times, he seemed suddenly disappointed, and let out a small sigh.

-I can't remember...- he said softly.

Your brother had never been the same since the car accident that caused him his head injury, he had gotten incredibly better through the years, but it was tough for him, you knew it, he was never really the same after that, although you never talked about it. Your heart dropped a bit at the sight of him feeling defeated.

-I think i didn't...-he continued- Because i couldn't remember it...-

He could've search through his phone, but then you thought he probably didn't remember he could do that either.

-I don't remember a lot of yesterday actually...- he said, now to himself.

-It's okay...- you brought his attention back to you- It was very boring anyways- you shrugged.

He smiled sadly at you and you returned it, he could remember why Phillip wanted your number, he said it was to send you a link for a job application he knew of. You hummed as Horry talked to you, knowing damn well that wasn't why he wanted it.

-Are you leaving for work?- you asked.

-Yep...-

-How are you getting there?-

He shrugged.  
-I'll walk i guess, I'll be fine- he said, looking at you.

-I know you will- you smiled- Can i go with you though? I'd like to see the town- 

-Sure-

You didn't really know if what you wanted was a distraction, or a more refreshing place to drown in your thoughts, at least while walking you took out the stress somehow. You grabbed a jacket and walked out besides him, most of the way was left in silence, every once in a while he'll comment on something interesting or fun that had happened around the neighborhood, it took him a bit to recall some of the details, but he made the effort.

You spent some time at the store with him, just hanging out and looking around, you were never much for sports really, you had always preferred to debate or read, or even better, bake. That was why you chose to be a journalist, every teacher you went to for advice told you the same, to choose a career with writing and giving arguments because it seemed to be your forte, and since you never had many hobbies, when career advisors asked "what do you like to do?" Nothing came to your head, you were soon left with baking, which wasn't a good monetary option, and the school newspaper, which had always kind of come easily to you, so you went along with it.

You lost yourself in thought again, wondering if that was really why you had chosen journalism, back then you were convinced it was because you liked it, Horry was the big future sibling, and you, well, you wrote interesting reports. If you were being honest, you saw it as easy and valued, as in a just fine, safe decision. A frown took place on your face.

Maybe you didn't really like your degree as much as you thought.


	5. What I Like And What I Don’t

The thought made you panic, it made everything worse, not only were you at the start of the game, you didn't really want to be in that game. Your head started going off the same way it did back at the hotel in Chicago.

This is why you're a failure, this is why you're disappointing, why didn't you realize sooner??

You needed air, you needed a walk. You were going to go back to the house anyways but first you'd take some long detours around town. 

What are you going to do now?

-I'll see you back home Horry- you flashed him a quick smile and headed for the door.

Just as you were approaching it there was a car's roar on the street, when you looked up a black Porsche pulled up a bit quickly to park a few feet from the store, you furrowed your brows at the unnecessary flashiness and walked out the door. As you were walking away you heard your name being called by a voice you knew.

You turned around to find Phillip trotting your way, you still couldn't decide if you wanted him to be there or not, you cursed the part that was actually kind of excited that he was smiling at you. His hair bounced with the last few steps he took your way and a short black curl fell on his forehead, making him look unnervingly good.

-Where you going?- he said, a bit breathless.

-Um just, home i guess- you shrugged.

He took a deep breath before speaking, why had he run to you? You weren't that far away, you felt kind of flattered that he wanted to talk to you so bad, a smirk took place on your face.

-Can i drive you?-he said, pointing backwards but looking down at you- I'm with the Porsche over there-

You raised your brows and nodded at his smug tone, uninterested, it was a really nice car, you laughed at yourself wondering if he was compensating for something.

-I see...well you know what they say about guys with nice cars- you couldn't help it.

For some reason his grin grew bigger.

-Wouldn't you like to know pigtails...-

You rolled your eyes, how did he always have a comeback, you had to bite your cheek not to smile though. One of last night's tingles ran down your stomach again, thinking maybe you did want to know. You looked up at him again, and remembered he was still offering to drive you.

-I was gonna walk actually- 

-Okay then...- he said and started walking past you.

Your head turned fast, maybe a bit too fast, and he looked back at you.

-You coming?- he said, taking out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket.

Again, you had to bite your cheek, but you stepped forward to catch up with him and hid your hands on your pockets, walking besides him, he smelled of cologne and a little leather, clearly from the seats of the fancy car. He gestured with the newly opened pack of cigarettes at you and you hesitated, but shook your head. You were in a crisis, but not enough to smoke, you guessed at least that was good.

-So you're just gonna leave the fancy car here?- you asked genuinely.

-Don't worry- he smirked- It's not going anywhere...-

He chuckled when you rolled your eyes yet again, and you couldn't think of a good comeback to throw back at him, so you just looked forward, allowing yourself to start thinking again, about the things that had made you choose your degree, all completely worthless reasons except for the monetary and social value of a solid career.

Fuck...

-So...- he started- Miss Chicago yet?-

You took a deep breath, you didn't, you didn't miss Chicago at all, you didn't miss your job, you didn't miss your apartment, you didn't even miss Nick. 

It scared you.

The only thing you kind of miss was the warm coffee shop you'd go to during weekends, it was 20 minutes away from your building, and it had the best pastries, always fresh and moist and tasty.

-Kinda...- you mumbled.

You felt him looking at you, he wasn't smiling or smirking, just walking slowly besides you, a tall presence blowing smoke through his nose. It was a bit after midday, there was a generous amount of cars on the streets, and all the stores were open, you noticed a few of them that were as old as the Altman's one where Horry worked, some of them even had the same signs, you walked by a newspaper post and looked down at them briefly.

-You worked for a newspaper right?- he said suddenly.

-Yep...-

-What was it like?- he said, looking down at you again.

Another deep breath, you remembered the first time something you wrote was posted on the pages of the Chicago Extra, the paper you worked for. It was an exciting day, you were very proud, Nick hugged you, you toasted with wine and he made love to you, back when you did make love with him. You even kept a cutout of the note to yourself, thinking there'd be more to add later and you could make a sort of album like other journalists did. 

But after that one single co-written column, you never really had many more, the number of people around the newsroom had increased, and the notes that used to be written between 2-4 people were now written between 10, at the end of the day, you didn't feel like the one writing them anymore.

-It was...tiring.- you started, nodding- Lots of late night shifts, lots of shitty ideas being thrown around, it was very competitive, i had co-workers talk shit about others with me in the kitchen all the time, everyone seemed to be fake as hell.- you frowned.

-Well that sounds like shit- he said, slightly surprised- Was the pay good at least?-

The pay was good, so was the coffee they had, helped you deal with mansplaining and headaches, those usually came hand in hand.

-If the pay had been as shitty as the people, I would've left...- you laughed.

-Well, you did leave- he smiled.

You stopped on your tracks, leaving him a few steps forward from you, you shot him a glare, the statement felt almost mocking, he knew you had gotten fired, you didn't want to leave, at least not at that moment. If that was his idea of trying to get you to like him he was way off.

-No i mean, i mean it like you managed to get out of there, yknow? Away from all the shit show.-

His expression had suddenly turned to a faint glimpse of worry and regret, and you kept walking, you guessed it was a fair thing to say, but it wasn't exactly what you wanted, yeah your job sucked some days, but it wasn't the end of the world, everyone felt stressed at work, and it was a good fucking job, there was a reason you chose it and that they chose you, you were lucky to be there and you knew it.

He'd glance over at you every few seconds, but didn't say anything, you kept your eyes on the floor with a hard frown, convincing yourself that it was a great job that you had to like, despite the overworking, but it didn't matter anymore, you lost it. That thought only made you angrier.

-Hey there's a small bakery like a block from here...- he looked at you with lit eyes.

If he was suggesting to go and grab something to eat then he had just redeemed himself cuz you were more than on board, your brain was begging you to eat the troubles away, maybe doughnuts would do the trick.

-...I saw they had a hiring sign hanging, maybe that could be an option- he finished in a helping tone.

Great. First the neighborhood was giving you free advice, now Phillip. You were dangerously close to lashing out at the entire world, why couldn't he simply try and be charmingly cringy like yesterday? At least you knew how to deal with those comments. Even worse, when he saw you didn't respond, he kept talking.

-Yknow maybe, start fresh- he gestured dramatically with his arms, trying to be funny- Get a job that isn't full of shit- he chuckled.

-Why would i want to work at a bakery?- you blinked slowly, frustrated.

-Just...- he shrugged- I don't know, maybe you'd like this job...-

-I liked my other job.- 

His mouth curled up in disbelief.  
-Didn't seem like it...- he grinned.

You scoffed, he clearly couldn't see you were not in for this conversation at all, or worse, he didn't care. Which wouldn't really surprise you that much from Phillip Altman, but you thought he wasn't that douchie. By now, you were having a terrible day, you could already feel the headache building on your forehead.

-How do you suddenly know what i like?- you shrugged harshly- My previous job was what i studied for, i'm a journalist, baking is my hobby. I'm not even gonna stay here anyways.- you snapped.

-Okay, calm down i just, thought maybe you'd like that...- his expression was a bit concerned now, and his tone was silent.

Why do people still tell other people to fucking calm down?? When has that EVER worked?!?

-Thank you, but my job in Chicago was just fine, i think i know what i like and what i don't. -

He was looking at you like a scared, confused child, and you hated it, you hated that he didn't get it, that you didn't get it either. You couldn't even think straight right now, even less deal with the horny teen-adult that just wanted to get into bed with you. Now you didn't even want a distraction you just wanted to be alone, and you wanted chocolate cake, or cupcakes, or something, you'd decide when you get home.

You ran a nervous hand through your face, Phillip was just standing there, looking down at you like you were insane, or maybe not, but that's how it felt. Maybe you weren't going insane but you were definitely in the verge of an existential crisis.

-You...- he started, but you cut him out.

-I just...i am not in the mood right now okay??- you looked up at him and then turned, walking home at a pace that drained your frustration through your legs.

As soon as you got through the front door, tears you didn't know were there welled up and flooded your eyes, now many, but heavy. Heavy with overwhelming feelings of suddenly realizing you don't know what you want to do, that what you thought you wanted to do isn't really what you want to do, and that you don't have anyone to talk to about it. No friends, no more Nick, although he wasn't much really. 

You thought of telling your mom, but she wouldn't understand, maybe she'd even be disappointed, you didn't want to know really. And there was no way you were dumping this on Horry, no, he had a lot on his plate for you to go and cry to him because of a little self doubting. Suddenly new feelings arose at the realization that you had no one to talk to, why didn't you have friends all of a sudden? 

Maybe you could call Jenna, but you'd have to explain everything and she'd probably talk about it with all the other hienas at your job. Maybe you could've told Phillip...you didn't know if he actually did but at least he pretended to listen, and now you had lashed out on him like a maniac for no fucking reason. 

Your head fell back against the wall and you bit your lip, closing your eyes at the image of Phillip looking down at you with mild shock on his face.

Fucking amazing you stupid little brat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's face it, we've all felt like that, do any of us adults even know what we're supposed to be doing? 
> 
> My most sincere apologies to any journalists reading this if they are, no I don't know shit, yes im just guessing. Sorry 😬


	6. Fucking Pretty

The remainder of the day you laid in bed, curled up into a ball looking out to nowhere, wondering what the hell had happened with the little security you had in what you were doing, and feeling bad about it. You thought you had figured it out, or that you were on that road at least, you chose a good career in something you didn't loathe and that would get you a decent income, then you got a job at a nice newspaper in a new city, and your boyfriend by your side. Everything was going straight.

Except for the fact you didn't really enjoy any of these. But now, at this far point, what could you possibly do? Try and pick a new career? You didn't even know which one you'd pick, you were a grown up you couldn't go around trying new things to see where to go with your life now. 

This is probably why people told me to go out more when i was young...

"When i was young" what kind of dramatic ass statement was that? You were young, you were barely reaching 30, this wasn't a fucking mid life crisis, more like a quarter life crisis if anything...You just felt unhappy like an old lady, but lost like a teenager. Adulting only felt like constant pressure, like if you weren't successful by the time you were 25 someone would come to your house and shoot you on sight.

You hadn't seen Phillip since your little outburst the day before, you knew you owed him an apology, and you'd give him one once the embarrassment went away, he was growing on you, quite fast you might add, you hated that, and you also liked it, it's been a while since someone wanted you, like really "willing to leave my Porsche in town to walk with you home" want you.

For a second while you were brushing your teeth you thought maybe he actually wanted to go out with you, not just sleep with you. But the thought was dismissed, even if Phillip wanted to go out with you, it still wouldn't mean anything, it still wouldn't be something with a far future.

It was hotter today for some reason, the sun was shining hard and coming through the windows heating up the house, and after you drank a cup of coffee you concluded you were definitely hot. Outside was slightly cooler in the shade, but the sun was still heavy, fall was a weird season, and since you had the house to yourself, you decided to sunbathe.

You hadn't really packed a bikini but lucky for you, your mom kept a few of her older ones and you slid one on, noticing your boobs looked actually kind of good in it. Checking the weather you weren't surprised to find that it was going to be hot only after midday, fall was a weird season.

Laying a picnic blanket near the pool you laid back and relaxed under the warm sun, closing your eyes and thinking of nothing except your breathing. You ended up losing track of time, and when you decided your body temperature had risen significantly, you took yourself to the pool, it was clean, so why not?

You took two steps in before lunging forward to dive in the water and holy fuck it was cold, waay too cold, you swam over the surface and exhale, swimming to the steps and walking out back to the warm sun, you climbed back up the back porch to snatch a towel to wrap it around your body, you started to dry your hair absentmindedly when you turned and Phillip was standing there.

-OH SH...Jesus christ Phillip!- you exhaled, looking at him with wide eyes.

-Sorry! Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya- he said, giggling.

He was wearing sunglasses, and when you took a moment to actually look ay him, you noticed he was wearing a shirt with an un tied tie around his neck, and pants, but he was completely wet, his shirt sticking to his torso and his hair falling over his face. Your eyes stayed a bit too long on his chest and abs, well toned, and you cursed your own body for having a reaction to it.

Oh stop being so ridiculous!

-What are you doing here?- you said, still a bit startled, trying to play off your obvious staring.

He furrowed his brows and looked down, he silently stood there for what had to be at least two minutes, mouth parted and breathing slow, he seemed to be completely zoned out, finally he answered.

-I...cannot remember...- he looked around- I came here...and then i saw you...- he trailed off.

Your eyes widened, he moved slowly and took a lot of pauses, was he high? And why was he wet?

-Why are you wet?- you took it as another excuse to check him out.

Fuck he's built like a muscly fridge...

He turned to you again, with two fingers over his mouth in a thinking manner, and then smiled big, taking off his sunglasses, his eyes heavy and red, he had to be high.

-Weed! Why are you wet?- his tone went from exclamation to suave insinuating.

You suddenly remembered you were half naked, and your insecurities kicked in, feeling exposed. Quickly you wrapped the towel around you and swallowed, you could feel yourself blushing. 

-Are you high?- you asked him, he was looking at you now, but didn't reply.

-What?- he mumbled.

-High- you repeated.

-Heeey...- he said seductively, smirking.

-Oh for the love of...Phillip you're high.- you stated.

He shrugged and nodded, and you rolled your eyes, you had so many questions, like why was he dressed formally, and why was he wet.

-Phillip- you started, he hummed looking at you- How did you get wet?-

-We were...at temple.- he said, only making you more confused- Aaand Judd had a blunt...well my dad had the blunt but Judd had the blunt, now i have the blunt-

He nodded to you and you widened your eyes at him, you figured he wouldn't give you a coherent answer until he was sober again, so you gave it up. You had dealt with high friends before and they were basically either slow children or happy children, and always hungry.

-Okay how about you come back when you remember why you came?- you said, placing a hand on his arm to lead him back where he came from.

-No no wait wait!- he turned to face and dug in his pocket before pulling out half a blunt with an amazed expression.

He was offering it to you, you had smoked before in college, quite a few times, after like your second year you started to be a little repulsed by it and barely touched it, and then well, you were out of college, but you always remembered it to be relaxing and feeling like everything was just okay.  
Still, today wasn't your day, and your mom didn't know you had tried it, and you were not about to have her find out today.

-No thank you, i think I'll pass...- you said, lowering his arm.

-Oh pleaase, come on don't leave me high alone!- he pleaded.

You thought about it, the idea was a bit tempting, you did want to relax and feel good, you looked at Phillip again, his hair was drying but his shirt was nowhere close, and he pouted at you, he fucking pouted at you, you bit your cheek to hold back a smile.

-Okay...fine.- you said- But here, outside.- you signaled.

He smiled big and you almost smiled back at him, only letting a small grin out, he pulled out a lighter and handed both the items to you, you took them and placed the blunt in your mouth to light it, as you were doing it he kept looking at you, smiling, like he was genuinely and absolutely delighted that you accepted his offer.

You smoked leaning against one of the lawn chairs for a while, Phillip smoked less since he was already pretty gone. But it was all good, everything started relaxing, your arms and legs, the day felt amazing, it was hot but every few minutes a light breeze would come around and it was so nice, none of the worries that were in your mind until this morning were there anymore. You looked around, at the trees, at your mom's plants, the grass around the pool, so green and well maintained, you wanted to roll on it. 

You stood straight, or at least that's how it felt, in reality you were kinda leaning forward, and reached to take Phillip's hand and pull him from his spot, but not without taking a look at the size of his hands, he had really big hands, you muttered a "wow" to yourself as you looked down at them, but then past them you saw the grass again and remembered what you were doing.

-Come...cmon- you mumbled.

-What?- he groaned- Where you going?-

-I wanna lay in the grass, come on, look!- you said, letting go of his hand to walk away to the green.

The grass did feel amazing, so ticklish but welcoming and nice, and you hummed loudly, closing your eyes and stretching your body over the lawn. But the towel wasn't letting your body feel it like your arms did, so you tosses it off and smiled and giggled in satisfaction, you swayed your forearm over your heavy and droopy eyes. 

There was a rustling sound approaching you and then you heard him huff as he laid besides you, you felt his hand brush against yours before he lifted them and entangled them over his stomach.

-Doesn't it feel nice?- you said.

-Mmhmm- 

-Oh!- you exclaimed softly and looked over at him- Horry said you asked for my number, maybe that's why you're here?-

His face lit up as you said that, his brows raised, and then fell into a frown, he rolled to his side and lifted himself on his forearm, leaning over and closer to you, he took his phone out and looked for something, you could smell his cologne, meanwhile you took another peak at his figure, his shirt was dry now and you almost whined in protest.

-Well I don't have it so maybe that's it- he said, concentrating on the screen.

His voice was low and slightly groggy, and you bit your lip looking up at him, he had such pretty moles all around his face, like a sexy Dalmatian. 

Ew that's kinda weird actually...

But he did have puppy eyes, deep and glitzy, you liked them, you liked when they looked at you, like right now.

-And why did you want my number?- you asked genuinely.

He flashed you that smirk of his that made you roll your eyes, and you saw him look down at your lips only briefly before he chuckled softly.

-Because you're really fucking pretty!- he said laughing.

You laughed with him, feeling light as air and completely careless, as far as you knew that was the funniest shit you'd ever heard, and at the same time you felt a flutter in your stomach at the compliment. When the laughing ceased you were still smiling, and you perched a brow at him.

-Well you're really fucking pretty too- you giggled.

He really was, he always was, you remembered at school how you heard girls from your class and above giggle as they talked about him, about hopefully playing suck and blow with him at a party to kiss him, now you were looking at his lips, they looked so full and pouty, they were like tiny pillows, you wanted to kiss them so bad to see if they really were that soft.

And guided by the weed-induced curiosity mixed with a tad of confidence, you pushed up to meet them, planting your lips on his for a second or two, they really were soft and plump, as soon as they touched you felt electricity run from your sternum to your stomach, and when you pulled away he was the one to lean and kiss you, you exchanged a short look before giving each other a few more of these deep continuous pecks until neither of you were drawing away your lips anymore, enveloping in a slow, deep kiss.

Fuck you should've kissed him before, his lips hugged yours so well, pursing over them and kneading them so lightly, his nose brushing against your cheek and the hair of his mustache tickling your top lip. His hand slid to your side, encasing your waist, and he opened his mouth to lick at your lips, asking for permission, you welcomed him more than gladly as he slid his tongue in and the kiss turned deeper, you felt his breathing brush from his nose against your face. He was such a good kisser, if you felt light before, now you were floating on air, not even noticing how you laid back on the grass and pulled him with you, entangling your hands on his fluffy hair, you felt him hum against your mouth and you melted.

The kiss only got deeper, wetter and sloppier, he stroke your side with his palm and traced patterns with his thumb, you felt pooling heat in between your legs, pressing them together when his thumb brushed the side of your breast. He slowly made his way to cup it in his hand, squeezing the soft flesh and pinching your now hard nipple. An encouraging moan went out of your mouth into his lips.

Wanting to feel closer to him you leaned forward, and your thigh pressed on his crotch, feeling the growing hard on pressing at his pants. At that point you heard a car in the distance, and before you could put 2 and 2 together you heard your mom call out.

-I'm home honey!!- 

Never had you sat up and pulled away faster from a man, you panted and then relaxed when you saw she didn't come out. Your face fell down on your hand and you sighed and cleared your throat.

-Okay mom! I'll be there in a second!!- 

You tried your best not to sound irritated, ignoring the most likely wet spot you'd have on the bottom part of her swimsuit. Phillip giggled at your side and you slapped his shoulder, biting back your own laugh, when you looked over at him, he licked his lips, and both your expressions softened.

-I'm...sorry? I don't know why i did that...- you shook your head, suddenly insecure as to if he had wanted it, or liked it.

Apparently you had completely forgotten about the bulge on his pants. He rested his forearm on his knee and gave you a closed smile, but didn't say anything.

-I should probably go before your mom murders me- he chuckled.

You laughed with him this time, a curl had fallen on his forehead from his mow messy hair, you wanted to brush it away so bad.

-She won't murder you, my brother on the other hand...- you tilted your head.

-Okay im getting the fuck out.- he smiled.

He stood up and so did you, picking up the towel and wrapping it again around you. You ran a shaken up hand through your hair as Phillip looked down at you, you exchanged another look, your eyes holding up onto his, filled with desire, his lips pressed into a thin line, now swollen and pinker, you already wanted to jump at him again.

-So,- he snapped you out of it- I'll see you soon?- he smiled.

-Uh yeah, yes, sure- you nodded- Oh gimme your phone- 

-Oh, yeah- he replied quickly.

He handed you his phone and you did your best not to look through his contacts to see just how many girl names there'd be, you saw his last call had been from a Tracy, but a while ago, still you decided to tease.

-Who's Tracy?- you said, jokingly insinuating anger.

-Um...my ex...- he said, his lips pressed together and curled slightly down, that's how you knew he was serious.

-Oh, shit, sorry.-

-It's fine- he smiled again.

For a second you hesitated on whether to write your name or pigtails, just to joke around, you ended up going for your name, maybe that would get him to stop calling you that.  
When you handed it back to him, he stood there, looking at you again, something in his eyes you couldn't make out, like he had been startled, his mouth opened to say something and you raised your brows expectantly, and after a few seconds he spoke.

-Bye...- he mumbled, leaning forward to kiss your cheek.

He turned and left, looking back at you, and you waved. As soon as he was gone you bit your lip, remembering the kiss, you knew you weren't going to forget it any time soon, and you were just fine with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have a kiss ladies and gentlemen, what do you think? 👀


	7. Interrupted

You didn't know if you wanted this, you had just come out of a serious relationship, yeah there wasn't any love left really, but still, you weren't sure you were ready to jump into something that wouldn't go further from casual. You didn't think it was the best for you to do that, and even less with Phillip and his womanizer reputation. You were afraid you would catch feelings, and wouldn't give yourself time to heal before jumping into something else.

But then today, when you pulled away, as soon as it stopped, as soon as you looked up at him again, those puppy eyes, the ruffled pitch black hair, the aquiline nose and swollen lips open agape to breathe ragged breaths, you knew you wanted it, you wanted him. 

Just thinking back to it, the way he kissed you, the broad figure of him leaning over you, his tongue licking at your lip and exploring your mouth in such sweet moves, his hand on your breast, and the delicate but hot way he pinched at your nipple. Your mind started to wonder, now laying in bed at night, about how it would've gone if you had kept going, the pressing bulge in his pants, he had to be big, there was no way his hands were that big and his dick wasn't.

You wondered if he'd be the moaning type, how he'd look with pleasure tainting his face. Your hand snaked down to under your pajama pants, just gently rubbing over your panties, you let yourself relax, remembering his touch, his warm tongue, your hand went under your underwear, you were as wet as you'd been when he touched you.

Your thoughts wandered further than today, you pictured him over you, between your legs, kissing your neck as he thrusted into you, your fingers rubbed at your slit, up and down and pushing at the entrance, rubbing that spot you liked right as you barely pushed your finger in, you took your free hand to where Phillip's was today, and pinched at your nipple like he did, your breath hitched, thinking of him doing that with his mouth, pulling and sucking at your tit as he looked up at you and you ran your fingers down the waves of his hair.

Your other hand moved to give your clit the attention it had been begging for the entire day, you rubbed circles and up and down sloppy patterns, and squealed quietly, loving the tingles and shivers it sent, imagining how good Phillip's fingers would feel in their place. Rubbing faster, your hips started bucking up, your orgasm building up, your breaths harsh and loud, picturing him fingering you as he hummed praises in your ear with the low velvet voice he spoke in when he flirted with you.

And it was working, you didn't want to be one of Phillip's girls, thinking he'd never have a real attraction to you further from physical. But you didn't think about it now, your fingers rubbing fast over your clit, getting higher by the second, you were so close, your eyes sealed shut and your mouth open, choking out little squeals.

-Ah...Phillip...- you whispered.

Like it was a bad joke, just then, your phone started going off, vibrating loudly on the nightstand, you whined and groaned, reaching with the hand that was at your boob. Unknown number, but it didn't look like those survey numbers or phone company numbers, then you remembered.

Huh, he's got some timing...

-Hello?- you answered, hoping your breathing wasn't too agitated.

-Hey...- he said slowly- You busy?-

-Um...- you looked at your wet fingers- No no, why?-

-Well I remembered why i came to your house today, why do you sound like you were running?-

You mouthed a "fuck" and tried to steady your breaths as quietly as possible.

-I don't know, i wasn't running...- you cleared your throat.

There was a silence on the line, you could swear the bastard was smirking.

-Were you touching yourself?- he said in that same tone you were thinking of seconds ago.

-Phillip!- you cut him short- Why did you come?- 

-Right, yes...-he said hesitantly- I wanted to say I'm sorry.-

You frowned.

-Sorry for what?-

-For yesterday, i didn't mean to make you feel bad. I'm sure you were amazing at your job, and you're right you do know what you like more than i do, i just wanted to say that.-

He didn't have anything to apologize for really, but the fact that he had still come to do it, you thought for a second, wondering if he actually wanted to be good with you or if he was just that determined to sleep with you. But god, not even Nick apologized decently, and it only took Phillip a day, and it seemed genuine, even if he had no reason to say it.

-No, hey, look...You have nothing to apologize for, i should apologize to you, i lashed out at you like a maniac because I've been having a rough time,- there was a pause- And you were just being nice...or trying to get me to sleep with you whichever it was.- you joked.

-Hey you are the one who keeps suggesting it who said i was trying to do that?- he asked teasingly.

-You do remember your hand on my tit today right?- you didn't think before you said that.

-Oh trust me, i do remember...-

His tone and his choice of words made you bite your lip, you were glad he also had been thinking about it, there was another tension filled silence.

-How come we never hooked up before?- he said out of nowhere.

You considered his words, back in high school Phillip was barely a little less than a jock, he was like a not so dumb, decent jock, and you kept a rather low profile.

-You mean in high school? When you and your friends teased me and i was doing extra reports to get good references for college?- you said laughing.

-Exactly, yes- he stated with a chuckle- Oh cmon, we could've hooked up...- he assured.

-You made fun of me!-

-No i didnt!-

-Pigtails??- you exclaimed.

-Oh that was just a silly name...i nickname everyone!-

-Yeah well...it wasn't too funny, and im not sure one of your friends saw it as friendly either...-

-What why? Who?- he asked, now serious.

Shit.

You never really told him, or anyone that you really did hate the nickname, it felt truly mocking, not friendly mocking, and you thought Phillip knew about one of his friends pulling your hair and repeatedly calling you fat.

-Jerry Roscoe... the blonde one with the mole under his eye- you said slowly.

-Did he bother you?-

-He straight up bullied me, he once told me i was probably the only girl in pigtails and a skirt that turned him off.-

That one particularly had hurt, and it fed to your insecurities, you had hated your hair in any type of updo since then actually.

-Holy fuck, i didn't know...- he sounded regretful- I'm so sorry...-

You could tell he meant it, he actually sounded sad and confused, like he couldn't believe that had happened.

-It's fine, you're still friends with him?- 

-Fuck no.- he replied loud and clear.

A laugh escaped your throat, and he followed, it made you feel better, knowing that at least he didn't actually mean any harm to you.

-He was always a bit of a dick, and a papa's boy...- he added.

-He seemed like it- you agreed.

The conversation kept going and about an hour later you were still talking, a bit about high school, a bit about nothing, a bit about you, you even talked a bit about Nick, which you didn't know how you felt about. But you didn't really mind, he seemed to listen, and he'd make you laugh and go on about all the parts he had fucked up in. 

-I meant it yknow?- he said.

-What?- 

-The other day, when i told you he didn't deserve you...- his tone wasn't seductive, but more sincere and gentle.

-Really? How do you know?- you asked, curious.

-Well...- he trailed off- You're amazing, anyone who lets you go and doesn't run after you is a fucking idiot if you ask me.-

You couldn't help a blushing giggle, feeling like a dumb teenager, he said things that made your stomach flutter. You smiled to yourself as you looked up at the ceiling. You never had doubts about the Nick thing, but you didn't have any friends you could talk to, and it was nice to know that people agreed with you.

-Well let's hope the next one isn't such an idiot then...- you said lowly.

You heard a short and soft laugh.

-Tell me again how the fuck did we never hook up in high school?-

-Oh my god, you're still on that Altman?- you laughed- Maybe you were the idiot back then.- 

-Maybe i was...- he said, his sexy tone back up.

-Or maybe you were just popular and i was a nerd- you joked.

-There's no way you were a nerd.- he said.

Just then, like it was scripted, your phone buzzed, a notification from the imdb twitter account that had the confirmed cast of the first movie of the Star Wars sequels, you gasped excitedly and then laughed, placing the phone back on your ear.

-I literally just got a notification telling me who the cast from the new Star Wars film is gonna be- you said.

-Aw come on that doesn't make you a nerd...-

-Really? Ask me anything.- you challenged.

-Okay uuh...-he thought- What were those weird machine dogs from the uh second movie?-

-The second movie??- you thought, there was no way he was talking about episode 2, he probably meant the second from the original trilogy, because you knew what machines he was talking about, and they weren't on episode 2.

\- You mean The Empire Strikes Back?-

-I guess, i dunno...- 

You chuckled.  
-They're called AT AT Walkers, which is short for All Terrain Armored Transport.- you explained.

-Oh wow you're a nerd...- he sighed.

-Fuck you Altman- you laughed and rolled your eyes

-If you want...- he said while chuckling lowly.

You hated that you wanted to, or did you?

-Can i ask you something? And please be honest...- he said after a bit.

-Okay...- you wondered.

-Were you touching yourself?- 

Your eyes rolled again, and you bit your cheek, sighing, you thought if you should tell him, let him know he'd won and he was having his effect on you, although you figured he had gotten the message when you moaned against his mouth today. By the time you stopped thinking, it had been silent for a bit too long and you couldn't lie to him, but, you could still get an advantage.

You threw in your best seductive voice, remembering how you had regretted not having your fun when he flirted before.

-Mm, maybe i was...- you whispered.

-Really?- he replied, you felt the smirk through the phone.

-Yeah...- 

-Did i interrupt?-

-Mmhm- you hummed.

-Oh I'm sorry...you could've told me yknow? I would've been happy to help-

Now you were the one smirking, but maliciously.

-Well, you can help me now if you want...- you sighed, lingering a moan.

He breathed deeply and you had to cover your mouth to contain a laugh, you were putting on your best act, and still you couldn't believe he was buying it.

-Where are you?- you asked.

You heard a few steps and then heard what you figured was him letting himself fall over the mattress.

-I'm in bed...- he replied.

-Good...- you pretended to sound eager about it.

-Tell me, what were you thinking of before?- he asked, his seductiveness real, yours fake.

-I was thinking about you...- you giggled, that part was true.

-Hmm really? What about me?- 

-Your hand, and your body, and your lips...- you moaned into the phone, he responded with a ragged breath- The way you kissed me today, and twisted my nipple on your fingers...- you trailed off.

-You know I've been thinking about it too, you have a gorgeous body...- he sighed- Why don't you play with your nipple like i did for me?-

The compliment at your physique made you blush, you almost felt guilty for teasing him.

-Mm yes sir...- you purred falsely.

You heard the sharp breath he took in at that, and closed your eyes, laughing silently and feeling a bit bad and powerful.

-Are your fingers down your panties beautiful?- he breathed out.

-Mmhmm- you hummed.

-Fuck i wish i was there to bury my own fingers inside you...- he breathed.

You faked a moan and there was a bit of rustling, then a small grunt from him.

-Is your hand around your cock?- 

-Mmm fuck it is...-

-Does it feel good?- you panted heavily, looking up at the ceiling.

-Oh yes it does...- he mumbled.

The thought did actually turn you on, him laying on his bed, phone under his ear, his jaw slack as his hand stroke his cock, thinking of you and getting off to your voice and the idea of you. You heard his breathing pick up speed.

-Fuck, I'm so wet, ah...- you whined.

-God you make me so hard, I've been semi hard all fucking day thinking of those tasty lips of yours...- he breathed.

-Mmm now imagine them around your cock...- you said, holding back another giggle, you didn't think you'd be able to hold them back for a lot longer.

-Oh shit baby...fuck I'd love that.- he exhaled the last part, you heard his hand pumping at his shaft.

-Fuck i bet you're so hard aren't you?- you asked in a fake rapid breaths.

-Mmm yeah...-

-You wanna cum with me?- you panted and whined, but pressed your lips together in excitement.

-Ahuh...- he managed to choke out.

Aand that was it, you always liked teasing, Nick hated it after the first year of relationship, you hoped Phillip liked it as much as you did. Well, he certainly wasn't gonna like this.

-Welp!- you said in a now more than normal tone- Too bad I'm not touching myself then...-

When you pulled your phone away to hang up you heard the faint voice one last time, cut short when you pressed the red button.

-Oh you fu...- and it was gone.

A deep and evil chuckle escaped your mouth, a huge smile drawn on your face at the thought of the high school winner Phillip Altman getting teased by you.

But, as much fun as you had had, the tingles his horny and rough voice had brought you resounded at your belly, leaving you wanting as much as him, well, almost as much. And as you pictured him pleasing himself, you too wished you had been there to have some much better fun.


	8. Bittersweet

Messages.  
Altman (4)  
—  
Altman:   
What the fuck?!  
—  
Altman:   
That was a low blow...  
—  
Altman:   
Such a low blow.  
—  
Altman:   
You are so paying for   
that...

That was what you had woken up to this morning, you had heard your phone buzz yesterday as you fell asleep, but simply chuckled to yourself without looking at it.

-Morning honey!- 

Your mom's voice snapped you out of your thoughts, you couldn't stop thinking of yesterday, specially last night. It wasn't just the fun teasing you had played on Phillip, it was also the rest.  
The apology, the compliments, the chatting and laughing, you couldn't remember when was the last time you had actually stayed up late talking to someone on the phone, and the pet names, fuuck the pet names. You'd rather have him call you baby and beautiful again than pigtails, although something told you he wouldn't use that one anymore.

He made your heart flutter when you told him about the Jerry Roscoe thing, it was a while ago, and you had always thought Phillip knew all about it but didn't really care to notice, but knowing that he actually didn't have any idea, and more importantly, he didn't like it at all, made him grow on you even more, it was consoling, it made you feel better.

Phillip was fun and new, and he was so easy to talk to, and before your mom came into the living room, you were deep in thought about what you should do about it, about wanting to be with him, asking yourself if you should just try and fuck him and then just leave it there, or maybe you could take his offer to go for a drink, maybe agree to have casual sex, maybe friends with benefits?

-Morning!- you smiled at her.

-Well someone's in a good mood today...- she said in a cheerful tone.

You gave her another smile while she poured herself some coffee. You tapped at the side of your mug, still thinking about Phillip, every time you tried something with someone, it was with the intention of it becoming serious, it wasn't that you were rushing you just didn't want to get hurt, but, you always found that by doing that, you still got hurt, maybe even worse...

And you decided, that in the renewed spirits of having no option but starting from zero, that you'd try something new, you'd just, see where it went, see what felt right and which way you actually felt like going as things happened, and for now, you knew you wanted him, after yesterday, shit, you were drooling for him.

No literally, your mouth watered at the thought of his tongue pushing into your mouth. You hadn't had sex in a while. You shook your head, pushing the desperate thoughts away, and turned your attention back to your green tea.

-You want to have a laugh?- your mom sat in the chair in front of you- Hilary told me how yesterday during the service for Mr Altman, Judd, Paul and Phillip disappeared, then later the fire alarm went off and they had to come out of the temple, and they appeared completely wet and smelling of marihuana- she chuckled and shook her head.

So that's how he got wet.

-She doesn't even know where they got it from, although we all know it was probably Phillip, that boy was growing marihuana before applying for college- she raised a brow at you.

-Did he go to college?-

-He dropped out apparently, now he thinks of himself as some type of entrepreneur- she tskd.

You wondered if it bugged Phillip how everyone thought of him, you guessed he probably didn't really care. You were a bit jealous about that.

-Well, who knows? Maybe he'll do better than me- you said, and you meant it.

The thought of what to do now left you torn between two things, you were still not sure you didn't like working at newspapers as much as you thought, thinking maybe it had been a stressful job, wrong place at the wrong time type of thing, but you couldn't help but thinking how you didn't really want to keep doing it. 

-Oh don't say that, we've all been fired honey, you'll find something- she reached over and caressed your forearm.

It worried you what your mom would say if you suddenly told her how you were thinking that you didn't want to find something. You knew you still liked to write and do research, just...not as a job? That's how it felt, you wanted to know and ask without being told to do so with a deadline and 9 other people making modifications to your initial ideas.

-You know...- you started, carefully choosing your words- I think I'd like to stay here, for a while...- 

You weren't sure you liked your final choice, but it seemed to be good enough because you saw your mom spark with curiosity.

-Really?-

-Yeah...you know, Phillip actually, told me about a bakery that had a hiring sign- you shrugged- Maybe...i could try?-

It was a lazy and filtered excuse of the indecision in your mind, but you were feeling positive, you focused on the things you knew: You knew you didn't want to go back to Chicago, you knew you didn't want to go back to your old job, and you knew that you had never once said "fuck it" and just wing it. Maybe Phillip's spontaneous way of carrying himself was starting to rub off on you, but you were optimistic, and thought, you were still young, if there was a time to try a possibly low income job at a bakery even though baking was merely a hobby, then maybe it was now.

-That sounds good actually, you're a great baker! You always wanted to be one, remember?- 

She smiled at you and you returned it, happy to finally be at least getting a sense of what to do now, you'll figure the rest out on the way. Everything will be alright...

***

You had spent your day preparing a quick resume to drop at the bakery in case they needed one, you didn't even know if the position was for baking but who knew, maybe you'd get to negotiate. Later since you were going to the town center you dropped Horry some lunch and were on your way to do some grocery shopping, but first, you stopped at the front of the white walls of the bakery.

At the top purple letters were painted in a big, classy font:  
"Coffee Break Bakery"

There was a big glass window lined with wood, a park bench sat in front of it, and through the window you saw a small round table with two chairs, and behind it a counter with a large display vitrine, inside it some rather pretty looking pastries and cakes on one side, and on the other, more everyday stuff, a few loaves of bread, some bagels, and doughnuts. 

You breathed in at the sign plastered on the glass of the front door, they needed a baker, you were a little relieved, a little excited, and a little nervous, it had been a while since you applied for a job. When you walked through the door a little bell rang and a sweet coffee smell entered your senses, you relaxed, loving the scent, a woman turned around to face you, she smiled.

-Hey! How can i help you?- she rolled up her sleeves.

-Hi, I'm here for the baker position?- you pointed back at you.

-Oh! Awesome! Do you have a resume?-

She seemed so nice and friendly, and she was young, she must've been your age, no more than that. You handed her your resume and she eyed it a bit before speaking again.

-Oh wow, you seem to have some skills- she must've been looking at the small description of range you had in baking.

-Uh, yeah, well yknow, i like it- you chuckled politely and she returned it.

-Well...- she shrugged- Thank you for stopping by, oh, we do ask that the applicants bring us some of their work to try-

-Oh, yeah sure, what do i bring?- 

-I mean just anything you like to make really- she shrugged- A little advice tho, make it special, all of the others brought either cupcakes or cookies- 

She leaned over the counter while she said it, raising a brow and casually pointing a finger at you after the small tip she shared, and you nodded and smiled, you liked her already.

-Well, i better get to thinking then- you joked, she laughed.

-Great! I'll see you next week? Is that alright?-

-Sure, great- you smiled.

-Awesome, I'm Erica by the way- she extended her arm and you shook it, giving her your name.

You waved her goodbye as you walked out the shop, and when you did, you sighed, it was a good day for you, you were already looking forward to baking what you'd take next week, and you headed to the grocery store, already thinking of a few ideas for what you wanted to make.

Finally, you came out after a good 30 minutes of shopping, as you started walking home, your phone started buzzing on your pockets, you smirked at yourself, wondering, or hoping, it'd be Phillip. Instead your face dropped, and you stopped on your tracks for a moment before you decided to take the call. It was Nick.

Of course the day was going too well...

-Hey!- he spoke first.

-Hi.-

-Where have you been?- he asked in an almost friendly tone.

-I'm with my mom.- you said, a frown on your face.

-Oh, I've been trying to contact you...-

Your frown only grew, you hadn't received a single call from him.

-Did you call me?-

-No i sent you some emails- he replied.

Who the fuck sends emails out of work?

-I haven't been checking my emails, what happened?-

-What happened? Babe, you disappeared...- he said softly, you made a disgusted face.

-Nick i broke up with you, remember? And the way I recall it, you didn't even go after me or seemed too worried about where i was going until now.- you raised a brow.

-Well yes but you left so much stuff here, I thought maybe you were coming back...- his tone was so subtle and forcely sweet it made you enraged.

-I couldn't fit all of it in suitcases but you can mail them here, I'll pay for it.- you stated.

-Babe come on...why don't we meet? I wanna see you- 

You actually laughed, like out loud for him to hear, but you were slowly becoming angry and frustrated, he really had the nerve to call you babe and speak softly to you like he wasn't yelling at you a week ago, and he wasn't even saying sorry, he never said "I am sorry".

-You wanna see me?? You fucking kicked me out last week and you want to see me?! Fuck you Nick. Fuck. You. You don't give a sole shit about me.-

-Yes i do!! That's why i want to see you, we've been together too long for this come on...-

At this point you were asking yourself just why he was even trying, you two just didn't work anymore, he didn't even have arguments to want you back, it was as if a clueless writer was trying to come up with a reason to give him but they were blank.

-Nick we don't fucking work. Jesus what do you even want to meet me for??-

-To work this out! Come on, all your life is here in Chicago! What are you gonna do stay there and live with your mom?-

You hated that he played that card on you, as if you were some pathetic woman who runs back to mom's place as soon as things go bad.

-I'm not fucking meeting you Nick, just put the stuff in boxes and mail them to me.-

There was a moment of silence, you tried to listen and make out if he was at the apartment or at work, you heard him sigh and you rolled your eyes, why did he have to be so persistent all of a sudden? Why now? Why not maybe last year?? 

-No, look I'm not simply giving this up, just come back, please, you know I've always had your back and been there when you were stressed, and i know you want to work this out, you've told me so! - he stated.

You breathed in sharply.  
-I wanted to work it out when the fucking issue started Nick. And all you did was ignore me!-

-Come on babe, you're seriously not thinking of starting everything over?? You don't have a job and I'm the closest thing to a friend you had! Just come back to me, babe, you know sooner or later you will...there's no future for you in that town, you said that remember?-

Now your jaw was set and clenched, your teeth gritting with hurt and frustration, he was trying to gaslight you, you suddenly wondered how many times he had done that and you were too in your own head to notice. But certainly not this time, you didn't have all of it meticulously figured out, but who the fuck cared? That hadn't worked either way hadn't it? You were done with Chicago, and you were done with his shit, you were done feeling hurt.

-Don't fucking call me babe! I hate that stupid fucking name! And why the hell do you suddenly care about what i do?! MY future is MY OWN fucking business, so stay the fuck out of it and stay out of MY GODDAMN LIFE!-

You ended the call as soon as you were done yelling, your fingers shaking from fury, he infuriated you, he hurt you even though you didn't want to let him, even though you didn't believe the words he said, but a small, tiny part of you did, the part of you that housed your insecurities and doubts, your intrusive thoughts and your feelings of failure. 

Tears of exhaustion and anger prickled at your eyes when you got home, you had told your mom you'd go to the Altman's with her, they were still on that Jewish ritual, you were even intrigued at seeing Phillip again after last night, but you didn't feel like it, now you didn't feel like anything, well you did feel like smashing plates on the floor, but you couldn't exactly do that, so you settled for crying and groaning at Nick and his asshole attitude.

Just when you were regaining your calmness and were done rambling to yourself about all the things you wanted to curse at him, your phone buzzed, it was a text from Jenna. Suddenly you remembered she didn't even know you had been fired, well maybe she did, since gossip flew at light speed around that office.

Jenna:   
Hey girl!! Can i call you??

You sighed and considered, thinking maybe you could rant about Nick with her, you pressed the button to call her and she answered quickly.

-Hey!!- she said, a slight surprise in her voice.

-Hi Jen!- you exclaimed, walking around the house.

-Where are you?? You totally disappeared!!-

-I...- you started- I got fired Jen...last week...-

-I heard honey...I'm so sorry that sucks...- she seemed concerned.

-It's fine, i mean it did fucking suck- you laughed- But well, what are you gonna do yknow?-

-Yeah, i mean as soon as you stumble a bit they just kick you out, it's like predatory- she made a disgusted sound- So what are you gonna do? And how's things with Nick?-

The knot on your stomach formed and tightened, and at the mention of Nick you actually almost felt nauseous, you didn't want to talk about it really, not even with her, not even to just rant. You wanted to just give her the polite answers and get it over with, you wanted this day to just end.

-Well i just got another job, kind of small, but it's something,- you lied- It's back in my hometown so i might be staying here...-

-Oh hey that's great! And fast! Is Nick on board with it?- 

You bit your lip hard, wanting nothing but for her phone to just explode so the conversation would be over. You walked over to the front door, opening it to feel some refreshing cold air, and leaning against the frame.

-Well he'll be staying back for some time, yknow with work and all, but we'll figure it out...- you kept lying, it surprised you a bit how easily you were doing it- So how are you?-

-Oh I'm great I'm great- she giggled- I'm doing good, yknow all the same...-

-Anything you wanna tell me?- you said curiously, wondering what she was so giggly about.

-Weeell...- she started- ugh okay i just, i don't wanna make you feel bad but, i got the promotion!! They made an editor!!- she squealed.

Your mouth fell agape, in seconds, that part of you from today, the one you were trying to ignore when Nick was trying to bring you down, quickly emerged back from the darkness, and took over your mind. She had been promoted, and you had been fired. The same promotion you had wanted to apply for, was being rubbed in your face, you were standing still, your skin suddenly shivering with your own feelings.

-That's...great Jenna, congratulations- you said as nicely as you could.

-Thank you! I'm really sorry you're gone, i really am, i actually liked you- she chuckled.

-Yeah, don't worry- you gave her false reassurance- I'll be fine...-

There was a small pause, maybe she was about to speak, but you didn't think you could keep pretending. You didn't know if you'd be fine.

-Hey i gotta go now, but I'm happy for you! And, thanks for texting...- you said slowly.

-Yeah sure, good luck on the new job!-

You simply hummed and let her hang up, feeling your lip tremble and curl down with overwhelming and tumbling feelings tearing you down, you let yourself fall and sit down in the step at your front door, your knees bent up to your chest and your face fell on your hands, wanting to just disappear, wanting to know if things were going to be okay. You felt the tears come and spill out of your eyes, and you sobbed into the heels of your palms, feeling today's optimism go down the drain.

How did the day just turn dark so fast?


	9. Failure, Disappointment And Sex

The evening had turned to night and the breeze had evolved into cold by the time you weren't crying anymore, but even if you weren't crying, you still felt down, you were still numb, and hurt, and disappointed and mad. Mad at life and it's stupid fucking fucked up humor, and the toll it was taking on you, the way a dumb detail crumbled you so easily, you had been so sure of not knowing this morning, you wanted to go back.

Go back to finally feeling like you were done with your mourning, and you could get back to try and be happy, going back to feeling strong enough to tackle this, to get through this, because you weren't a disappointment, you just weren't happy.

But if you weren't happy, why did it affect you so much? Why did you care?

You could hear the faint sounds inside the Altman's house, you focused on them, you focused on the noises of the night, the crickets' faint music in the now misty grass of the lawns, your eyes were closed and you focused on this sensations, not wanting to think of anything else. Just then you heard a lighter, and a few moments later, the rustling of steps in the grass, but you didn't bother to look up.

-I think I've seen this picture before...- you heard Phillip say.

You knew what he was talking about, your prom night. Your date had ditched you to go get drunk with friends because you didn't want to go, it was embarrassing, and you sat on this same step, with your prom dress, disappointed and sad. Phillip was casually coming out of his house to go to a party, but he stopped to ask if you were okay, you dismissed him, trying to joke through the situation, you still remembered what he told you.

"Did he at least tell you how pretty you look?" 

He had made you blush and smile, and he smiled himself before going off to his party, but at least he made you feel a little better.

This was different though, you looked up at him, wiping your face from almost dry tears and sniffing, and when you looked his face had gotten softer, illuminated by the faint light from inside your house coming through the half open door, he looked at you with his glistening eyes, now showing empathy, and extended the cigarette to you.

You took it, taking a long drag, it felt right, it felt nice. You used to smoke, when your dad died, and at parties during college, but you tried hard not to, because it wasn't good, and it left you with a yucky after taste. But right now you didn't give a shit. Phillip sat down next to you.

-Shitty day?- he asked.

You cocked a brow, taking a another drag.  
-Shitty is about right...- you stated.

He nodded.  
-Wanna talk about it?-

You puffed the air out.  
-My ex is a gaslighting douchebag, and my co worker just got promoted in a job I didn't like but it still pisses me off...-

You handed back the cigarette to him, he was looking at you in an even softer way than usual, today with Jenna you didn't want to share, but with him you felt like rambling every detail.

-And i was feeling so good today...i had been feeling like crap these last couple of days because i thought i had like, i don't know, fucked up at adulting? You know? The nice job was gone, the stable relationship was gone, and all in a miserable fucking day. I felt so...useless, and disappointing.- you trailed off, running a hand through your hair.

When you lifted your eyes to look at him again, he was puffing air off his nose, his brow was slightly knitted together in concern, and his lips were pressed in empathy, you knew you had tears in your eyes, you didn't feel like wiping them away. He leaned to the side, slightly closer to you, and spoke.

-Coming from a real family disappointment...- he started with a grin- You're not a failure, that job was good, yeah, but it didn't make you happy and now at least you know that...-

You bit your cheek, thinking of his words, and he kept talking.

-Knowing what you don't want to do, is just a step closer to knowing what you do want to do, and also, you don't want to wake up at like 45 and say "shit...i hate my job!" Yknow?-

He smiled at you and almost contagiously a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips. He rubbed your back, consoling you.

-Thanks...- you whispered- You're not a failure either though...-

He shrugged and took another drag at the cigarette.  
-I think my brothers and sister would disagree, but you can try and convince them if you'd like, tell my mom as well while you're at it- he raised his brows.

You stifled a laugh, but when he laughed at your attempt, you ended up chuckling with him. After that you started finally relaxing a bit, and leaned slightly against the palms of your hands.

-They love you, I'm sure they just...have a different way of showing it, everyone does-

He nodded, looking forward, and passed you the now smaller cigarette.

-Or...- you inhaled the smoke- They're jealous of the Porsche- you tilted your head.

He huffed a laugh through his nose.

-The Porsche my ex girlfriend got me...how pathetic is that?- he shook his head.

-It's not, it was a gift...- you shrugged.

-Well they think i was with her for the "gifts"...-

Your brows furrowed, they couldn't really think he was like that right? And it seemed to bug him, you felt a little sorry for him all of a sudden, being the youngest of four couldn't have been that easy, even less with your family judging you like that. Your arms hugged your knees again.

-I'm sorry they make you feel like that...- you said softly.

He looked down at you again before stepping on the cigarette and kicking it away, then his face seemed to go back to the usual facade.

-Meh, it's fine, someone has to do it...- he smiled.

You gifted him another sad smile, he looked away, you could tell he didn't like the subject, you always thought he'd like talking about himself, well maybe not that part of himself. You rested your head on the heel of your palm and sighed, taking in the quiet night, feeling the warmth of his presence besides you, you got a hint of his scent, fuck he smelled good.

-So...what did douchebag Nick bug you with?-

You huffed and rolled your eyes, not at him, but at the answer to that question, he laughed and so did you before exhaling.

-Well...he won't send me my stuff because he wants us to meet up, he wants me to go there to be precise, aand i told him to fuck off...- you nodded.

-What a prick...- Phillip spat, exaggerating his tone.

You chuckled at him, liking the way he just hated him with you.

-He really did turn into one...or maybe he always was and i just let it slide...- 

Phillip smirked, his eyes now had that little something you couldn't make out.

-Did he at least tell you how pretty you look?- 

A betraying blush creeped at your cheeks and you smiled inevitably.

-You do remember...- you said.

-I told you, i wouldn't forget a beautiful face, and i didn't forget yours...- 

You rolled your eyes again, biting back another smile, when you turned he was looking at you again, staring deeply into you, admiring your face, you saw it in his eyes moving, going down to your lips and then back to you, eyes shamelessly expressing themselves, his hair was a little ruffled, just like yesterday, after you kissed him.

Now you were feeling a bit more like this morning, relaxed, and thinking back to him, back to his lips dancing with yours, and his humming against your tongue, his small ragged breaths on the phone last night, the way he had called you baby, similar, but so much more sweet and loving than Nick's babe. Your eyes also traveled down his lips, remembering how you compared them to tiny pillows, and fuck they sure were, you wanted to bite them so bad.

-Thank you...- you whispered.

-For what?-

You shrugged faintly.

-For listening to me...and making me feel...good- you breathed.

His breathing got deeper, and his mouth opened agape, you leaned closer and so did he, meeting your lips halfway.

It was even better than you remembered, his lips were soft, and welcoming, tasting of smoke, but you didn't mind. He kissed you slowly and softly, taking his time to move to your rhythm, and encasing your lip between his, very lightly brushing his tongue on the bottom one. You felt his hand cup your face, his thumb over your cheek as his other fingers sunk into your hair, and you melted.

You felt yourself going back to this morning, when you decided you'd do what felt right, and keep it casual, not worrying too much about a serious relationship, and what felt right right now was the way his tongue danced into your mouth and his thumb stroke at your cheek, making your thighs press and your breathing hitch.

A bit too quickly for the growing sensation between your legs, he pulled away, only inches from your face. A small smile formed on both your faces, feeling the kiss's aftermath and the tension break in the air.

-Do you wanna go inside?- you whispered, looking up into his eyes.

-I'd love to- an eager tone on his voice.

You smiled and stood up, he followed and walked inside with you, closing the door behind him. When you turned around to look at him, he was fidgeting with his fingers at his sides, his eyes twitching over you, he swallowed, he looked, nervous...almost, and you realized you were a bit nervous as well, but also so excited.

He walked closer, slowly, your neck bending backwards to look up at him, his broad shoulders and chest towering over you. His hand went to your chin, his thumb brushing and pressing at your bottom lip before he leaned down to kiss you again, this time, the tongue went in instantly, and the kiss was deeper. His hands encased your waist, and yours caressed up his chest to tug at his soft dark hair, his hands roamed up and down your sides and finally went down to your ass, but only for a moment before he lifted you up and wrapped your legs around his waist.

You held onto his neck as he supported you with his hands on your thighs, walking forward to the stairs, when he reached them you wrapped tighter around him, afraid you'd weight too much and he'd drop you. He ascended carefully, kissing you with open eyes, you both giggled at the effort when he reached the top.

-Which door?- he said against your mouth.

-Mm, to the right and then to the right again- you pointed at the hallway, your breathing heavy.

He hummed and walked the way, when he reached the door he pushed it with his back and you closed it before he lowered you on the ground to tug at your sweater, the sudden height difference reminded you of how tall he was, and boy did that get you going.

Sweater, jacket, and shoes were off in seconds, you walked him back until he hit the bed and sat on the edge, your legs straddled him, his hands kneaded your ass and you kissed him again, taking his lower lip in your mouth and biting hard at how plush and smooth it was, he groaned and you felt a slap on your butt, not too hard, but it took you by surprise and you gasped, no one had ever spanked you before.

-Is that okay?- he said, his voice low and eager.

Fuck it's more than okay...

-Mmhmm- you replied, swaying your hips as you felt his dick hard under his jeans, then you remembered- Fuck, wait.- 

He pulled away, a bit confused.

-Condom?- you breathed, you had stopped taking the pill as soon as you broke up with Nick.

-Shit- he threw his head back- I have them at home...- he said.

You cursed yourself, but god you'd fuck this man, you could buy the day after pill you didn't care, and then something came to you.

-Oh!- you exclaimed- I think i have some, hold on- you pecked his lips before standing up.

\- Don't move!- you exclaimed before walking out the room.

You practically sprinted over to Horry's room, you hoped, god you prayed they were still on the same spot you had found them all those years ago, you opened the door and went to kneel to the last drawer of the dresser, you found the box, it was a bit dusty, and you went to open it, there were three condoms inside.

-Oh please please pleaseee- you said, looking for the expiration date, it was a month from now- Yess!- 

You left everything as you found it, and sprinted back to your room, making sure to lock the door. Phillip sat there, resting back against his palms, and he smiled as he saw you with the condom in hand.

-Hi...- you said, straddling him again, his hands stroke your thighs.

-Hey...- he said, pulling you closer.

You kissed him again, slow but deep, you really couldn't get enough of his mouth, so full and...succulent. Your hips bucked against him and he grunted, bucking his back at you, he tugged up at your shirt and you pulled away to slide it off, then taking his and doing the same, you felt your bra get undone and he smirked up at you, the bastard was smooth. 

You smirked back, letting it drop off your arms and toss it behind you. His hands went up your stomach to cup both your breasts and knead them, admiring with a slack jaw, you breathed heavily, his touch sending shivers down your arms and to your center, feeling it dripping into your panties at the pressure on his pants.

He leaned forward to kiss at your jaw and neck, sucking into the skin and nibbling, humming lowly as you swayed your hips hard over him, one hand over his, palming your breast, and the other gripping at his hair, encouraging him.

-Fuck, you smell so good...- he moaned.

His hands left your chest and you whined, he wrapped his arms around you and turned you around over the mattress, climbing on top as one of his hands squeezed at your breast again and the other undid your jeans, you aided him, his warm tongue and breath against the sweet spot below your ear making you moan and roll your eyes back.

His index and thumb twisted your nipple and a louder whimper escaped you, gripping at his arm, he growled at your reaction, yes, he growled. And you were loving it.

-You like that don't you?- he smiled.

You didn't know if he meant the nipple pinching or the growl, either way you nodded, he pulled away to look at you and your neck felt cold without his face buried in it. His free hand was messing and playing with the hem of your panties and your lower belly, tickling it every time he brushed his fingers over it.

-And what if i just...- 

His hand slipped under your panties, and in a second he pushed a long, calloused finger into you, you gasped and moaned, your mouth opening at the sudden pleasure, he pinched your nipple again and you were starting to go insane. After so long without sex, and even longer without good sex, the stimulation was amazing, he curled and rubbed his finger inside you, and you squeezed at his shoulder.

-Ooh my god...- you managed to get out.

His face lowered onto you again, this time planting kisses at your sternum to move up to your nipple, hard and awaiting, he licked it and then captured it in his mouth, you tugged at his hair, pleading for more, he bit gently over it and you squealed, the finger inside you moving deliciously.

-Phillip...- you moaned- Push another finger in...ahh, please...- 

He obliged and added one more finger, pushing it hard into you, making you clench around his fingers, just when you thought it was amazing, his thumb found your clit, and started going at it, fast and motioned, and you arched your back, another needy whimper leaving you, you were reaching your climax, fast, to be honest it was a bit embarrassing, but fuck he was also fucking you with his fingers so good.

You wanted to look at him, at the big hand with the clenching muscles underneath your panties, and you made an effort, admiring the wet spot spreading on the fabric, and your legs wide open for him, meanwhile his tongue flicked your nipple and traveled to the other one, leaving marks and soon to be bruises around your chest.

-Mmm fuck, if you keep doing that, I'm gonna cum...- you breathed out, throwing your head back.

He quickened his pace inside you, his fingers now thrusting into you, and you pulled at his hair, feeling your hips sway up, your breathing ragged and shallow. He hummed and bit into your other nipple, and you were seeing blurry, you were so close.

-Ooh fuck, hmmm im gonna cum, im gonna...-

You were cut short by him pulling away, his fingers were out and his mouth was gone, and so was your orgasm.

-What the fuck?!- you protested, eyes wide and breaths deep.

He was kneeling in front of you, in between your open legs, smirking maliciously looking down at you.

-I told you you'd pay for it- he smiled smuggly.

-Oh you fucking prick!- you said, dropping back down to the mattress, groaning.

You heard him chuckle mockingly, fine, you did have it coming. You stopped whining but shot him a glare as he leaned down, sliding his arm under your back and bringing you up again to kiss you, you dived your tongue into his mouth and swung it around, he moaned and pulled away, his fingers came up to your mouth, still wet with your juices.

-Suck them clean please?- he sung.

You opened your mouth, taking them in, he watched you suck them with wanting eyes and an open mouth, more prickling ran down your core, you had never really gotten asked to suck on someones finger, once a guy had pushed his thumb inside your mouth as he fucked you, but never this, and never with someone you wanted so bad...

When you were done, he gave you another smug smile of his and your eyes rolled. He laughed.

-You have no idea but when you roll your eyes at me? I love that shit.- he said, now standing again.

You saw the familiar glint in his eyes, and you laid back down, willing to show him how much you wanted him to fuck you, you slowly took your hand down to your panties to start rubbing at your clit, his breath hitched and he extended his hand, running it down your side, to your belly, slowly reaching your wet panties, and dodging them to caress at your inner thigh.

His other hand took care of unzipping his black jeans and he palmed himself through his underwear, then stepped away to take everything off at once, and his cock sprung free, you sat up as you saw it, you had guessed right, more than right, he was big, and pink and throbbing. 

You never wanted something in your mouth so bad.

He had other plans though, he stroked himself, and gestured for you to take your panties off, you did so gladly, and laid back down, head at the brim of the pillow to look at him, he looked down at your wet cunt, legs spread wide for him, his big hand around his pre cum leaking length, he reached for the condom and tossed the wrapped aside, you watched him put it on carefully and bit your lip, he positioned himself, bringing one of your legs slightly up to wrap around his hip, the head of his cock rubbed up and down your slit, slowly. You hummed in need.

-Do you want it baby?- he looked down at you- Do you want my cock?-

Another needy whimper came out of in an "ahuh" tone, and you nodded, looking between him and his cock sliding between your wet pussy lips. You knew you looked desperate, and you were, he growled again and pushed in you, your breath caught in your throat, he was big, stretching you out as he filled you up completely, you closed your eyes, your lips parted as you felt every inch of him slide into you.

His mouth fell open too, watching himself start moving inside you with pinched brows, he swung his arm under the leg wrapped on his hip and kept it there, his other hand grabbed your hip, and he started thrusting forward at a steady pace, swaying his hips forward. He felt so good, you brought your hand over you to grab at the pillow and squeeze on it, his hard thrusts making your body move back and forth in the bed.

As he did, he breathed harsh and unsteady, a breathy low moan slipping out every few seconds, the toned torso you had so badly wanted to see the other day heaving up and down like yours, his stomach clenching as he bucked his hips, toning his abs even more, the strands of his black hair falling on his face and bouncing as he picked his speed up.

-Oh god...- you sighed.

He threw his head back slightly, your tits bounced with his cock starting to pump even faster into you.

-You have no idea...how much i wanted to do this, shhit...- he hissed.

-Hmm...do it faster- you moaned, looking up at him with a small smile.

His eyes met yours, watching you, you brought your hand to tease at your nipple, he lifted the leg on his hip, your ankle now resting on his shoulder and suddenly he was thrusting fast inside of you, bucking his hips, his thighs hitting yours, you shuddered and clenched at his hard cock fucking you nice and fast. Your climax building up just as fast once again, your brows pinched.

-Oh fuck, fuck, yes that's it, hmm Philip...- you whined.

Now his moans were coming in full on and without holding back, sharp jaw hanging lose to let them out, he separated his legs a bit more and leaned over you, the arm that was around your leg now holding him up on his forearm, his face over yours, your face resting against your own arm that gripped the pillow tight enough to tear it, the new position making him go so deep you could feel him hit your cervix.

-Fuck, you feel so fucking good baby...- he moaned- Look at me.-

You turned and opened your eyes, his eyelids looked heavy, dipped in pleasure, his hair swinging back and forth with all of you as he pounded your cunt hard and fast, sounds of skin slapping and moaning filling the room, you were getting so close, whining as his cock slammed into you sloppily and mercilessly, his moans and curses making your walls tighten around him.

-That's it...oh god, take my cock, take it...- he panted.

The praises sent tingles and chills down your body, you squealed and whimpered, feeling him sink into you so fast you couldn't keep your eyes open anymore, and just when you thought you were over the edge, he licked a finger and sneaked it down to rub your sensitive clit in rapid circles.

-Oh fuckk! Yes, yess...- you screamed.

Your hips bucked up, your legs now trembling and your toes curling, and he choked out a whimper as your walls squeezed him tight, and you lost it. You thought you told him you were coming, maybe you did, you couldn't tell if the words that escaped your mouth were only mere blubbering sounds, but he came too, his head fell on the crook of your neck and he tensed up, thrusting hard into your cunt, the hand on your hip squeezing tight and yours gripped at his bicep, nails digging on the skin. 

He let out a short whine, and then a small scream escaped him, he twitched inside you, panting as he slowly came down from his climax, yours so striking you swore you saw stars.

He kept sliding in and out, slower and slower until he was just laying on top of you, catching his breath. Your body felt more like a motionless slump, your legs falling open, extending on the bed and your arms now relaxed, but your thighs shivered with the strength of your orgasm. You felt his hand caressing you, up and down your thighs, over your belly, and around your side, as he planted soft kisses on your neck, you hummed softly and traced your fingers over his back.

-Fuck i came so hard...- he breathed out, and chuckled lightly.

You chuckled as well, your eyes closed, relaxing under the warmth and weight of his body, he slid out of you, and you felt him move up, you opened your eyes and met his, deep in the dim light of the room, a hint of lust and that little something still in them, a little strand of hair flowing down his forehead to his prominent nose, your hand lifted and brushed it back.

As you did so, you caught each other scanning your faces, admiring them intensely. Once your eyes met again, you smiled and laughed shortly at your actions, and the smallest smirk perked up on his lips, not a sexy one, or a teasing one, this one seemed...caring, almost.

-What?- you whispered.

He didn't say anything, but he kissed you, soft and gentle as you held each other close, and suddenly the day hadn't been so bad after all...


	10. Morning

Phillip's POV:

He had always liked sex, who doesn't? But casual sex, that was the way to go. His procedure after a night with someone would usually be sneaking out if he could or simply leaving insisting he had something to do, he wasn't usually interested in staying a while, because let's face it, sex itself was a bit selfish, isn't reaching your own orgasm the goal of it? Yes he liked it when he helped women reach theirs as well, but in the end he always concluded that was also part of getting himself to cum.

Last night was between the few exceptions. He had no idea why, maybe because she was funny? Maybe because the lust had built up, but he wanted to make her feel good so bad, he wanted her to roll her eyes and see the bliss on her face when he made her cum. And for a second there, before starting, he had felt a tinge of nervousness, as if he was hanging out with a girl and suddenly things were escalating, as if he were surprised, why was he surprised? He wanted it.

But he hadn't really sat down with her and talked because he wanted to fuck her. For starters, he was fed up with his family and had gone out to find her outside her house too, secondly, he smiled to himself when he saw her, he could finally remember her from high school, sitting on that same step with her blue prom dress, blue? Purple? He couldn't remember, it was dark. Thirdly, when he approached to tease her with the memory, she wiped tears off of her cheeks, and that made his humor go away, she was sad, he didn't like that, he didn't want her to be sad. But he also didn't really know much about handling these situations, so he simply extended his cigarette, and to his relief, she took it.

And the rest was just so easy, he even knew what to say to assure her she wasn't a failure. Maybe that's when his surprise at the whole situation started, he told himself to simply relax, and he could once she kissed him, it was so gentle but full, and fuck her lips were so nice. 

Sex with her was so...enjoyable, and yes sex was fun but that was usually it, sex with her was fun beyond the sex, it was seductive and hot but it was also fun, and comfortable in a way he didn't know sex could be. He wanted to feel her, touch her, but he also wanted to look at her, admire her face, her thighs and that fleshy part of her belly that was so soft and warm.

Just like she looked now, she looked cozy, not only cozy as in she was cozy in bed but her body, her presence, was so fucking cozy, that had to be the weirdest way he had ever described someone. He couldn't actually see her face, he didn't give a single shit tho, the view from behind was just as great as the one from the front. Her hair was a mess, he smirked to himself at the thought of him being the cause behind that, he wanted to mess it up more already, her waist curved up into her full hips and he just wanted to trace it with his fingers.

He just wanted her, he'd never been this pent up before, not enough to want to stay until she woke up, not that he'd remember at least.

His eyes were trained on hill of hip under the sheets when he heard her rustling, his eyes came up to where her head laid and saw her stretch and turn, getting closer to him and barely opening her eyes to look for the blanket, pulling it over her shoulders, covering the perfect view of her breasts.

Her eyes opened very slowly, being aware of the morning brightness in the room, her brow furrowing as she got used to it. He chuckled silently at the expression, and suddenly he didn't mind her tits weren't out for him to admire, in fact, he was looking forward to see what she had to say, as if she weren't just waking up.

-Aren't you cold?- she mumbled against the pillow, her eyes barely open.

-I'm good...I'm actually kinda hot-

She smirked.  
-Hmm yeah you are...- 

Philip's eyes widened and he smiled, he wasn't sure if he was supposed to hear that or if she was just in the daze of sleepiness, but he liked it.

-Someones in a great mood...- he grinned.

-Mmm i hadn't had sex in a while- she sighed.

Her body stretched under the cover, rising her arms out of them to push them back in after, sliding one under the pillow to turn her head and finally look at him.

-Really?- he smirked, being genuinely curious.

-Yeah...-she exhaled- I don't know what's worse no sex or bad sex...-

Philip's smirk disappeared and his brows raised.

Ouch...

-It was bad?- he asked, slightly confused at the attitude.

She searched his face for a second and her eyes widened when she realized what she said.

-Noo no no it was great that was great sex- she stated, placing her hand sincerely on his arm- It's just, before i stopped having sex i had bad sex so...-

In all honesty Philip's soul pretty much came back to his body, for a second there he felt offended and shocked at the brutal bitching she seemed to have thrown at him. But she said it was great, not good, great.

Fuck it sure was...   
He thought.

-Ooh i see, with douchbag Nick- his usual teasing tone was back again.

-Yeah...with douchebag Nick...- she rolled her eyes.

God every time she did that he just wanted her to do it again and again, mostly because of the gesture that followed it, which was usually an involuntary smile or a smirk, meaning he didn't actually annoyed her. And so he felt like keeping on teasing.

-Okay so how big tell me where to stop- he said, raising his hand and distancing his thumb and index.

-Oh that's just stupid stop...- she contained a laugh and tried to bring his hand down.

But he kept it there and kept looking at her, watching how her eyes also wanted to joke around, watching how pretty they looked in the morning, like her lips. She met his gaze and he raised his brows, encouraging her.

Finally, with a small smirk, she separated his fingers until what would be about 5-6 inches. Philip could barely keep it together, of course he had a small dick.

-Something like that.- she said

Oohh- he groaned mockingly, not containing his laugh anymore- That's IT ?!-

-Oh cut it out that's not bad!-she argued- Besides...the sex wasn't bad because of his size.-

-No yeah yeah, you're right...- he trailed off- He was vanilla wasn't he?-

-Yeah he was.- she chuckled- Why so obsessed with my exes dick Altman, feeling a little insecure are we?-

-Insecure? Next to small dick Nick??- he stated, she couldn't be serious.

-It wasn't small! It was...average!- her brows contorted in an effort to sound convincing.

He laughed.  
-Oh baby...- he tskd- Stop lying to yourself...-

-Fuck you Altman...- she rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

Philip couldn't contain the smirk, taking the opportunity as soon as he saw it.

-Sure...- a seductive balm over his tone.

He cupped her cheek in his hand, his fingers entangling in her hair, and he rolled over, his lips instantly finding her jaw and then her neck, although he wanted to go for her lips, but with the morning breath, he'd have to get to that later. For now, he was focusing on that spot just below her ear that she loved so much.

Your POV:

You hadn't realized how much you needed the sex, and sex with Philip, god it felt so good, you were even a little sore, which made you love it and crave it even more. A part of you, the overthinking part, kept wondering what would happen next? If you should ask him if he wants to take it somewhere else? If you want to take it somewhere else? If you should've told him to leave if he wanted to.

You did think he might leave, after all it was Philip Altman, guys like him don't usually sleep over and wake up next to you. It was a bit of a surprise to see him there, but to your own surprise, it made you happy he was.

The rambling whispers of being with someone without a particular goal set were shooed away when you saw him in bed, hair ruffled, lips pouty and still naked, and you just chatted with him, it had been a while since you'd done that as well. When he brought up Nick again you wondered if he was jealous, but how could he be jealous of someone he hasn't met?

All of that was unimportant the moment he was over you again, nibbling at your neck, lightly running his tongue and kissing on that sweet spot under your ear, your fingers ran through his hair and you hummed in approval, already getting lost in his touch.

You even forgot that you were, in fact, in your family home, naked in bed, with the front door neighbor's son. Although you were quickly reminded by your older brother calling out your name as you heard him approach your room down the hallway. Next thing you heard was the handle turning.

-Shit, shit shit shit!- you whispered, pushing Philip down the covers where he hid quickly.

Didn't i lock that door??

\- Horry don't come in!- you exclaimed quickly, the door had barely opened when it stopped.

-Oh hey, sorry, thought you might want to know it's 11 already. I'm leaving for work alright?- he asked.

Under the covers you felt Philip's hand caress your torso up and down slowly, you could bet good money the little bitch was smirking.

-Um yeah yeah, do you uh...do you need me to do anything for you?-

-No I'm good don't worry...-

Next you felt his lips, kissing softly over the side of your belly, moving up to your boobs, his facial hair tickling on your skin.

-Okay well I'll see you later then, where's mom?-

-Oh she's gonna be at the Altman's today again...-

-Alright then, hey doesn't my door have a lock?- you questioned.

-It does but it broke a few months ago, i can fix it later- he spoke from behind the door, messing a bit with the broken lock.

Philip's hand trailed down to your thigh, stroking and squeezing it lightly. Meanwhile his lips found the nub of your nipple and wrapped around it gently.

-That'd be great, thanks beach boy- you tried hard to sound casual.

-Okay pigtails, have a nice day- he chuckled.

And with that you heard him walk away and downstairs. You sighed and felt the blankets shake as Philip started giggling maliciously, you lifted them to find his broad figure and a wide smile looking up at you.

-Having fun?- you raised your brow.

-The time of my freaking life- he stated.

His hands roamed your sides and cupped your tits, squeezing and kneading them as he kissed them at the base and found your nipple again, your breath hitched at the warmth of his tongue.

-Don't you have some Jewish ritual to get back to?- you asked, remembering he was still at your place when he should be at his.

-I have more interesting things to do...- he hummed.

He started sliding down slowly, his hand ahead of him, caressing down your thigh and pushing it open, just then you realized you were getting wet. His lips left a wet trail down your stomach as he got closer to your naked pussy, your mouth opened to let your deep breaths get out and he bit gently on your inner thigh, earning a moan from you.

Your hand went down to tangle in his hair as he placed a kiss over the bite and trailed down, desperately close to your core. He ran his tongue around, brushing it over the skin surrounding but never getting into your cunt, you squirmed and shivered at the sensation, or lack of. 

-Philip...- you swallowed.

His hand stroked your thigh as he kissed very softly around your mound. He hummed.

-You want me to eat this pussy?- he mumbled against your skin.

-Yes...- you sighed.

-What's the magic word baby?- his tongue just lightly touched your outer lips.

-Please...- you whispered, hoping he meant that.

He gripped your thighs and ran his tongue up your slit, making your hips buck and a gasp come out your mouth, you tugged on his hair, asking for more. He sucked for a moment before he lifted his head to look at you.

-Look at me...- he asked, and kissed between your folds.

You looked down to find the dark reflection of his eyes in you, his arms and shoulders broad in between your open legs, your pussy wet with his mouth against it. You licked your lips at the sight.

-God those pretty lips of yours...- he moaned, another lick of his tongue- I want them around my cock so bad...-

His cock, fuck you had forgotten for a second there about his cock, so big, the head a soft pink, you wanted to suck it and press your tongue on it.

-Lay on your back.- you said, meeting his eyes again, a glint of excitement now on them as if he could read your thoughts.

He kissed your thigh one last time before coming out of the blankets to roll and lay by your side, you leaned on your side to look at his very much hard cock, your mouth watered as the size of it, and you extended your hand, caressing at Philip's hips before reaching his cock, and you looked at him.

-Get up here, you think I'm done with you?- he asked, his mouth agape.

You smiled at him, he did know what was on your mind, you turned around, crawling over him to straddle his head, your forearm on his thigh holding you up as you felt yours being massaged by him. He reached your ass and squeezed, you hummed and as your hand encircled around the base of his dick you felt his palm slap on your ass cheek and yelped at the sting, but a tingle ran on your stomach at how good it actually felt, just like last night.

With an approving hum your started stroking up and down his shaft, he gasped and moaned softly, leaning forward to kiss your inner thighs and land another slap at your other cheek, this time you moaned, his mouth found your folds and started running his tongue through them as you stroked him faster, the head leaking a small drop of precum over the pink throbbing head of his cock.

Your mouth watered at the sight, a vein running from the side to the head, you licked your lips and ran your tongue over the tip, tasting the salty drop, then hummed as you lowered your mouth, taking him in to start sucking. He moaned and you felt his beard scratching at your folds, his tongue taking in your juices.

-Hmm that's it baby, suck my cock...- he hummed, squeezing your ass.

You moaned into him, feeling his mouth go down to your clit, flicking it with his tongue, your hips bucked and he held them in place, sucking at your folds and teasing the sensitive nub. You hollowed your cheeks and took him in deeper, sucking and swirling your tongue over the head, feeling his legs tense up and his breathing speed up.

His mouth went harder on your cunt, sloppy wet sounds and moans coming from him as you bobbed your head and pumped the base of his cock, his hands kneading your ass. His mouth closed on your clit again and begun sucking and nibbling, your back arched and you panted at the shivers that ran through your belly.

-Ooh god...hmm- your mouth pulled away from his cock to let out a string of moans.

Your strokes became faster, pumping him in your hand as you felt his tongue play with your clit, then going up to push at your entrance, diving inside and growling lowly against you, your toes curled and your breath hitched. It took you a second or two of tight jerking before you got back onto his cock, licking up the side and finding the tip to swirl your tongue around it, your hips swayed involuntarily and he accompanied their movements with his hands, encouraging you, and it felt amazing, his tongue gliding into you as you fucked his face.

Moans and whines rolled out of your lips, the vibrations going down onto his cock making him moan in return against your cunt. You felt him twitch in your mouth and knew he was getting closer, slightly bucking his hips up, you pressed and ran your tongue along his shaft, and opened up further, you wanted to take him all in, even though you had your doubts with him being this big, but you relaxed your throat and went down, letting his cock fill your mouth and hit the back of your throat.

Tears prickled at your eyes as you tried hard to suck on him in this position, mewling at the feeling of his hips tensing and bucking up slightly as a reaction, his hands gripped tight at your thighs and you felt him pant and moan loudly, pulling away from you.

-Holy shit, oh fuuck yes...- he exclaimed, ragged breaths hitting your pussy.

After that, his tongue found your entrance once again and dived deep, one of his hands sneaked under and his fingers found your clit, twirling and rubbing fast circles on it, you slowly went back up with a whine, and sucked hard on his head while stroking him tight and fast, with warmth and electricity building up in your core you felt your orgasm overcome your whole body, legs tensing up and hips bucking at how sensitive your clit was with Philip's fingers on it.

You whimpered and flicked your tongue on the underside of the head of his cock, now pulsing as he also reached his climax, you jerked him off even faster, sucking at the base as you did, he flinched up and you heard him panting.

-Fuck, fuck I'm gonna cum, ooh god- his voice chocking out of his throat.

He let out small loud grunts as he came, and you watched as the thick warm cum rolled out and down his swollen head, spilling down to your fingers. More, now lighter, moans came out of you both as he licked your entire wetness and you stroked him slowly, small drops of cum still coming out.

You sucked him clean, wiping the tangy substance off of his length and your fingers with your tongue. When you relaxed and rolled off of him, your legs trembled up to your thighs. He placed a hand over one of them and stroked up and down.

You were about to ask if he wanted to take a shower and eat something, when he sighed and sat up to kiss your cheek and down your neck again, you giggled at the tickles.

-Even though I'd rather spend all day in between those gorgeous legs of yours, now i do have to go...- he pulled away and pouted at you, you could melt right there.

You pouted back jokingly and rubbed his shoulder, looking down the beauty marks on his chest. He got dressed and you offered that he at least brushed his teeth, he agreed and let you give him your toothbrush.

-I can't believe you're gonna share your toothbrush, ew.- he joked.

-I literally sucked your dick 10 minutes ago this isn't that terrible- you quirked a brow.

A wide proud smile stretched on his face.

-I know, i just wanted to hear you say that.- he said, bringing the brush to his mouth.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, now that you knew how much he actually liked that, you were very conscious of every time you did and you knew you would be from now on. He ran his fingers through his hair as he followed out the room and downstairs, when you reached the door you looked up at him, not very sure where to go from here.

He gave you a small grin and leaned in for one of his hugs, arm around the waist and kiss on the cheek, except this time he gave you one more kiss on your jaw.

-I'll see you later?- he asked, looking down at you.

-Um, yeah...- you nodded, not sure if he simply meant like around or if he was asking you to stop by.

He smiled satisfied and walked out, you looked him up and down as he got to the street and trotted away, he looked back and met your eyes smiling, you returned it and when he turned back around, you bit your lip, trying to contain a bigger smile.


	11. Not Knowing

You stayed a full two minutes in front of the bathroom mirror staring at your naked body, more specifically, at the amount of small scattered hickeys and marks on it. The epicenters of the purple bruises were your neck and your chest, mostly around your nipples, there were also a few barely visible but still there marks on your hips from the tight grip of Philip's hands.

When you were done admiring his work, you hopped on a very needed shower, your legs still felt wobbly from the two orgasms that had washed over them, and you allowed yourself to think back about them, about Philip and the way he treated you. You were still deciding if he was incredibly good or if you just hadn't had sex in too long, you were sure about one thing, it felt amazing, and you wanted to do it again.

Lucky for you the day was still slightly cold, and you made your best effort to cover up the hickeys on your neck with a combo of a turtleneck, a very calculated placement of your hair, and heavy makeup over the area, since you did want to stop over at the Altman's.

You kept telling yourself it was to not seem rude to them by only showing up once, and seeing your mother, who you hadn't seen since yesterday. In the back of your mind you knew why you were actually walking out the door to the other side of the street.

There was a slight skip in your step, it was lighter and more energized, you had forgotten how post sex moods felt, you were refreshed and relaxed and happy, satisfied was probably the right word to sum it up. You felt like smiling and sighing all the time and either walk around and do stuff or lay back in a lawn chair with your arms and legs extended.

Your own mom opened the door and said hi to you, asking where you had been, of course the very first thing your mind jumped to was "oh well yknow, getting properly banged by the neighbor no biggie". The house was yet again filled with people, you were simply wondering how did the Altman's knew so many people, seriously they filled the house for 7 days with different families, then again Mr Altman was known around town for being a kind man, just a good fellow, a nice neighbor from those that you don't see much anymore, as you had heard people put it. Speaking of Altman, you found yourself discreetly looking for the tall flirt with the smug smirk all around the room, you finally found him sitting on his respective spot next to his sister, smiling and laughing politely at whatever he was being told, you could tell he had showered, his hair now more neatly combed and fluffy again, you already wanted to run your fingers through it.

You were snapped out of your contemplation by your name being called, when you turned you saw a familiar face you seemed to have missed the other day.

-Hey Charlie!- you said, a sympathetic raise on your brows- Holy shit! What're you doing here?- 

-I'm the Rabbi- he stated, leaning his head forward so you could see his kippah- I didn't know you were here!-

-Oh yeah i got here...actually like a week ago almost- you nodded, frowning- Dude i haven't seen you since high school what's up?-

A week already???

You talked about high school, sharing and laughing at some anecdotes about exasperating classmates, teachers and that one time some guy broke the bathroom stall and it flooded. Charles Grodner, Charlie, like you called him, wasn't exactly a close friend, you mostly bonded over Philip's bully friends and later on, Star Wars, so you'd chat about it from time to time, he was also a subject of nicknames like...

-Boner!- you heard Philip exclaim, he appeared next to you and patted Charlie in the arm- I see you've met Y/N, try to not scare her away will ya?- he laughed.

You side eyed him and frowned, then looked back at Charlie and gave him a grin signaling for him to just follow your lead and let Philip think he was being funny.

-Yknow he went to our high school, actually, he used to come here and get wasted with us then go jerk off in the bathroom- Philip laughed.

Well the situation turned disgusting and uncomfortable really quickly, mostly for Charlie, he also hated his nickname, go figure. You decided maybe that was enough fun.

-Oh hey do you still have that collection piece from Episode 4?- you exclaimed.

-Are you kidding me of course i do i wouldn't sell that baby for my life.- he widened his eyes and shook his head.

Philip simply looked between the two of you, mouth open agape in mild shock and trying to understand, well he did understand, embarrassment, that's what he was feeling.

-Have you heard about the sequels??-

-Yes!! Oh my god, Harrison Ford is in the cast!- you exclaimed.

You were full on fangirling right now, Harrison Ford AND Carrie Fisher were in the cast, you were losing your mind, you didn't even care for the dumbfounded Philip standing next to you anymore, you nerded out with Charlie a while longer before he excuses himself and Philip took your hand, your eyes fell to your hands together, noticing how big his were around yours. When you reached the more quiet hallway by the entrance he spoke.

-You know boner??- he frowned.

-His name is Charlie. And yes i do, we all went to the same high school remember??- you smiled.

-Did you guys founded the Star Wars nerds club?- he chuckled.

You rolled your eyes and he only smiled wider, that smug confident smile, you wanted to part it by diving your tongue inside his mouth.

-Did you just rolled your fucking eyes at me?- he looked down at you, licking his lips.

-I don't know, were you being a scoundrel?- you raised a brow and smiled to yourself.

-What the fuck is a scoundrel?- he frowned.

Of course you don't get that fucking reference.

Although you tried to stop them, your eyes rolled again, and a laugh huffed out of mouth. He leaned in next to your ear in a manner so casual it almost seemed innocent, his eyes however were dark and gloomy.

-You roll your eyes again and I'm gonna have to fuck you right here.- he hummed next to your ear.

Your breath hitched, feeling the way your chest came up and down as you breathed through your mouth, he backed off just enough to go back to his playful stance with his dumb smile, you were about to shot another snarky comment when someone rushed past him and pushed him against you.

-Move! Move!!-

-Get back here! We're not done!!- 

The two men sprinted out the door into the front lawn, Philip walked out behind them as did the rest of the people in the house, including you, watching as Philip's older brother Paul lunged at his other brother Judd. Your eyes widened but your brows pinched together as they seemed to fight both verbally and physically, you looked around, everyone was just as confused as you were. 

-Your brothers can't fight for shit...- you heard Charlie mutter behind Philip.

-Noo...- he shook his head- It's kind of embarrassing actually...-

Everyone kept their amused faces as they looked at the two men wrestling, or trying their best to, you guessed it was better since they apparently didn't know how to throw a punch, but you were a bit shocked that no one was doing anything, a red headed woman kept shouting at them but that was as far as it went.

-Could you get in here and stop this???- you heard Philip's sister scold him.

-What are you kidding this amaOOOWWOW!- he yelled.

Finally he walked up to them, muttering something about them being idiots. One of his brothers shoved the other one away, Judd scurried away from Paul and Philip stood in between them.

-Stop stop!! Stop stop it, what's going on??-

-HE KISSED MY WIFE!- Paul pointed a finger at Judd.

-No i didn't!!- he defended.

-Noo he didn't!- the red headed woman repeated, apparently she was the wife.

At this point your expression was a bit dumbfounded, what the hell was going on? People started muttering around you as the discussion kept going, you saw a few neighbors approach from their houses, including Horry who apparently was coming home from work, he looked at you and you shrugged with your best "i dunno" expression. Mrs Altman stood next to your mom, they both had a shocked, yet not completely surprised face, except Mrs Altman now carried a slightly sad curl to her mouth, you heard grunts and "ows" and turned to look at Philip now wrestling with Paul.

Paul managed to get Philip off of him and sprinted for Judd once again, he grabbed the sprinkler, trying to defend himself, people weren't doing anything and you got a bit fed up, you eyed Horry and gestured for him to usher the crowd away, then you walked up to Mrs Altman, hoping what you were thinking would work.

-Mrs Altman...- she turned to you- Permission to snatch your sons by the ears?- 

-Permission more than granted...- she nodded to you.

-Alright everybody the show is over, so sorry you had to see this, have a nice day please if you could give the Altmans some privacy...- you heard Horry nicely telling people to leave.

You walked up to the now three men grunting and arguing, Paul had grabbed the sprinkler and was taunting Judd, Philip was trying to get both their hands off of it. Being a mom friend sometimes meant breaking up fights between your drunk friends on college campus, lucky for you this wasn't half as bad as hair pulling and spitting.

-Hey!- you tried getting the men's attention, to no avail- HEY!- 

Still nothing, you rolled your eyes exasperated and brought your pinkies to your mouth, whistling loud enough for them to stop two seconds, in that small pause you grabbed Paul's ear in one hand and Judd's in the other, the sprinkler instantly dropping from their hands.

-Ow! Ow!-

-Ow!-

You dragged them away like this, with their heads lowered and their steps stumbling, you shook your head, making your way inside with your mom, Horry, Mrs Altman and more of the family trailing behind you, as you passed the threshold you saw their sister Wendy laugh as you walked into the house, your reached the now empty living room where you let the two men go, they looked down at you with furious expressions, you tilted your head. Philip came to stand next to you three, but turned to you, looking not shocked or angry, he looked amazed almost. 

-I gave her permission.- you heard Mrs Altman behind you- Now all of you sit down!- she demanded.

Of course she wasn't talking to you, so you opted to stand next to your brother against the fireplace, Mrs Altman sat in an armchair opposite from the couch where her children now sat like grounded toddlers, even Wendy, who didn't really have any part in the fight, around them stood Paul's wife, your mom and Charlie.

Out of place much?

Apparently what happened was Paul came down to the basement and found Judd hugging his wife in bed, yikes. That really didn't look good, but then again it seems Judd and her were simply having a conversation, they assured absolutely nothing happened, Paul still looked shaken up though.

-I told you, he never got over Judd and Annie, you need to let it go man.- Philip teased his brother, as if this was the time to do so.

-You know i am fucking fed up with you and your fucking bitch attitude!- Paul was furiously leaning towards Philip, pointing accusingly at him.

-Paul!- Mrs Altman exclaimed.

-You wanna have a real fucking fight come say that to my face!- he spat.

-Philip!!- she looked at him now, brows furrowed.

-Okay I am in the middle so you both cut it out!!- Wendy snapped at both of them- We don't care which one of you idiots has the biggest penis!-

They glared at each other as they shifted their position in the couch, and Mrs Altman, appropriate as always, spoke.

-Well last time i checked...that was Philip...- she said with a casual smile.

You blushed, smirked and laughed all at the same time, you could only stop the laugh with a hand to your face, the next thing you couldn't stop was your thoughts.

Fuck yes it is. Don't need to check the other ones...

-Could you please not talk about my penis! I can't begin to tell you how creepy it is...- he gestured with his hands.

-When he was little he thought it was a tootsie roll, you remember that?- Mrs Altman continued, looking at your mom.

You raised your brows, again trying to push down a laugh, that was way too much information, but then again leave it to Mrs Altman to over share, and she wasn't stopping.

-I used to see him lean over trynna...- she stuck her tongue out to mimic and that was your queue to get out.

-No no NO NO NO...no.- Philip stood from his spot to stop his mother, clearly embarrassed and fed up.

-Hey, Philip, hey! That's terrible to listen to...take a seat, take a seat pal...- Charlie tried calming him- I get it, this is a private moment...- he started, his tone gentle- Unless you wanna talk more about Philip's tootsie roll and the way he licks it- he chuckled.

Now it was definitely inappropriate, you rolled your eyes (secretly hoping Philip saw you) and encouraged Charlie to leave the family alone, it was a though week, apparently further from the death factor. Charlie left since it was the last day of this ritual and you stayed in the kitchen, rolling up your sleeves and deciding to at least help tidy up, about 10 minutes later you could hear everyone spread out of the room, some tired huffs were heard and people went upstairs, then Philip walked into the kitchen with his head tilted, he seemed to be looking for you.

-Hey stranger!- he smiled as he walked over to you.

-Hey tootsie roll- you grinned.

He groaned at that, his face contorting into a disgusted frown, you giggled.

-I have a right to that, you called me pigtails for years- you raised a brow washing a coffee mug.

-Fine, fine...- he said- I still can't believe you pulled my brothers' ears- he chuckled.

You laughed shortly with him, he stood closer to you, you could feel his tall presence behind you, smelling nice as always, he grabbed a rag and started drying the dishes. A part of you wanted to ask what happened, you didn't know if it would be out of place to do so, but he was ahead of you.

-Apparently my mom invented the last wish bullshit to make us all come here...- he started, you looked up at him with wide eyes.

-Really?- you said.

-Yeah...I'm starting to think boner isn't even a Rabbi- he joked, you shook your head laughing- She said she needed us and we also needed each other or i dunno something like that...-

-Well at least it's already done- you shrugged.

His head cocked to the side with a smile, silently agreeing with you as he piled a few dishes, you thought about it for a second, now that it was done was he gonna leave? The thought bummed you up a little bit, but it wasn't like you'd even date each other, right?

-So when are you leaving?- you asked, trying to sound unbothered, were you bothered??

-I'm not....actually, I'm staying- he replied a bit excited.

Because of me??

There was no way it was because of you, and you shook your head at the thought, wondering why was that the first thing that came to mind, and also if by any chance you were right.

-My dad left me a part of the business, I'm trying to convince hard headed Paul to give me a job there- he smiled down at you briefly.

Of course it's not because of me...

-I'm sure he will, he won't leave you on the street- you returned the smile.

He laughed.  
-You don't know Paul...- he raised a brow- And...when are you leaving?- 

You frowned and looked up at him, he was looking at you with those eyes again, soft, deep, and waiting, did he want you to stay? Did he not care? And most importantly, why did he think you were leaving??

-I...what?- you said, thinking he might be teasing you.

-You said the other day you were not staying here- 

You looked away as you went back through the last week, recalling every conversation you had with him, until your mind found the day you snapped at him, you were really having a bad day, you told him you wouldn't get a job because you weren't staying in town anyways, it wasn't true, not even a bit, but you weren't thinking when you said it, although he didn't know that.

-Oh! No, no...- you trailed off- I'm not going anywhere.-

-Oh...- he said, his brows raising in surprise and...excitement?

A smile drew on your face and he mirrored it, only wider, and with a glint on his eyes, his entire face seemed to have lit up.

-Yeah i...- you remembered your talk the other day- I applied for that bakery job you told me.- 

-That's great, you're welcome- he teased, your eyes rolled, he didn't seem to notice- What about...Chicago?- he shrugged.

You shrugged back, shaking your head.

-I...don't know- you laughed, your gaze dropping to the side as you thought and considered everything- But i kind of don't mind not knowing right now...I think maybe, life back there, thinking that i knew, yknow, what i was doing, felt comfortable, and nice, but now that it's gone, even when i feel like shit, i don't really miss it...And yeah I'm just kind of, there, taking some time to accept that i don't have it figured out, and that no one really does, even when they look like they do, and maybe i can try and build something that i know i will actually miss...- 

The words formed as if you had thought about them for weeks, even if you had just thought of it, you zoned out as you thought out loud, feeling proud and satisfied at the conclusion you had made, thinking:

Yeah, maybe that's it after all...

Philip hummed, as if he also was taking in your words, and when you finally came back to earth to look at him, it certainly looked like he was, he also looked like he was taking you in. He had that intense yet kind stare in his deep eyes, you took notice of how pretty he looked in the now dimmer lighting of the kitchen, his lips pressed together lightly as if he noticed he had them parted, and you couldn't help but look at them.

-Does that make sense?- you finally finished, looking up into his eyes again with a slight pinch on your brows.

-It makes a lotta sense...yeah...- he mumbled.

His features had morphed his expression into one that almost read bewilderment, it was the same expression he gave you today when you dragged his brothers inside by the ears, you noticed he was breathing a lot deeper, and then you noticed so were you, suddenly looking at every individual mole around his face, and at how well his mustache framed his lips. 

You felt him leaning closer, and his hand came up to graze your hair and very gently cup your cheek with the tips of his fingers, just as you leaned closer and felt your lips buzz at what was about to come, you heard your name being called. It was your mom.

-Want me to ask her if you can sleep over?- he teased.

You let out a defeated laugh in the form of a sight as he stepped away from you, you rolled down your sleeves and saw your mom enter the kitchen.

-There you are! I thought you were in the house-

-I was just helping tidy up...- you leaned over your palm on the kitchen counter.

-Are you coming for dinner?- your mom gestured.

You were so, so tempted to say no, after all she had asked you, but you couldn't possibly slip out of it without looking like a sign was hanging in between you and Philip with two arrows that read "THEY'RE GONNA HAVE SEX", so you opted for a simple nod and a yes, when you turn to say goodbye to Philip, he had his smug smirk on and you shook your head, but fought the urge to roll your eyes.

As you sat down for dinner and chatted with your mom about the shaken up events from today, you couldn't help but go back to your little moment with Philip, the way his whole expression changed when you told him you were staying, you didn't even noticed he appeared a bit disappointed when he asked when you were planning to leave. For a second you thought maybe you staying around was the reason his happiness seemed to have spiked up through his pores, and then you remembered:

"Want me to ask her if you can sleep over?" 

You cocked a brow to yourself as you came back to listen to your mom and Horry, there was the obvious sex factor you weren't considering, of course he wanted you to stay if there was a chance of sleeping with you again. Now you smirked at yourself, you knew there was more than a chance...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes...lust, that's why he was happy she's staying *wink wink*


	12. Two Sweets And A Punch

It had been about a week since your little moment with Philip, next day when you woke up about a half of the Altmans were gone, when you looked at the driveway and found the black Porsche still in it's place a smile crept into your face, and a small tingle of excitement ran on your stomach at the unknown that waited ahead. Although these sudden sensations always took you by surprise and made you stop and frown to yourself, you always dismissed them as the most probable crush you had developed on Philip, because well, he was tall and ridiculously handsome, and he was funny and amazing in bed.

But that was really it, he was nice, the sex was great, and that's as far as you wanted to let it go, like you had told him the other day, you liked not knowing right now, and you did, you really had no idea and were trying your best to not think about where this thing with Philip would go, and it was easy to dismiss your thoughts when you've known the womanizer for so long, you were aware you wouldn't be exclusive, and that didn't bug you because from the start you knew that's what he wanted, and in the place you were right now, that's pretty much what you wanted as well.

Now you were taking over the kitchen as you finished the layout of possibilities to take for taste testing at the bakery, there were a few more elaborate options and a few simple, but not too basic, options. You had made a banana, chocolate and walnut pound cake, some small pear and cheese pies and some custard and jam pastries. 

They looked rather good, now all you needed was some opinions, you couldn't take everything and you were almost sure the pear and cheese pies were a little too much, but you needed to see what someone thought from the outside, Horry was at work and your mom had just left about 10 minutes ago, you pulled out your phone.

Messages.

You: Hey you busy?

You put your phone down on the counter and took your apron off, only a few seconds later the phone buzzed.

Messages (1)

Altman: Nope  
—  
You: Great, i need you to come over  
—  
Altman: Really? Why?

You could feel his flirtatious tone from across the street, you were willing to bet he also had that proud smirk as he waited for your reply, you thought for a second before typing.

You: I have something for you to taste ;)

There was a pause, and then he read it, but then he didn't reply. You frowned and waited for a few seconds looking at the screen, but nothing, you put the phone away and untied your hair, as you were starting to clean up the pile of dishes on the sink, the doorbell rang, and you couldn't help a devilish laugh.

Your suspicions were confirmed when you looked out the window at the side of the door, he had seen your text and practically sprinted over here, how horny can a man get?  
You pulled your best casual face and opened the door.

-Hey- he said, the smirk you had thought of turning into a grin.

-Hi! Come in i need your help- you replied, turning around and walking to the kitchen.

You heard him shut the door and follow you, when you got there you turned to face him.

-Do you have any food allergies?- you asked.

He looked at you with a small frown.  
-Um...no- 

-Great, okay i need you to try each of these and tell me which two you like best- you explained, grabbing a small cupcake made from the pound cake leftover mix.

He looked back and forth between your seemingly clueless face and the cupcake in your hand before he realized.

-You are mean you know that?- he said, squinting at you.

The smallest smirk appeared on your face, but your eyes were still innocent.  
-I have no idea what you're talking about...-

-You still owe me a kiss you know?- he tilted his head, taking a step closer.

You squinted at him and tilted your head as well, playfully.  
-I don't owe you shit- you teased- Now do you want the cupcake or not?-

He raised his brows at you, a surprised but playful look on his face, and you twiddled the cupcake in your hand. He exhaled through his nose defeatedly and grabbed the dessert off of your hand.

Why does everything look so tiny in his hands???

He bit into the cupcake, and you waited, looking up at him, studying his reaction, his brows went up and he blinked.

-Wow, this is good, what is it?- he looked quizzically at you.

-It's chocolate, banana and walnuts- 

-Oh so that's the crunchy stuff- he nodded- It's really good...-

Crunchy stuff...okay that was kinda cute.

-Okay good now try...this- you picked a piece of the pear and cheese pie on a fork.

He approached a bit more eagerly, but frowned when he smelled the cheese and backed off a little.

-What's that?- 

-It's a pear and cheese pie- you explained- It's sweet, the cheese isn't even very strong-

The last time you saw that disgusted of a gesture was in a toddler, his mouth curled down and he raised a hand.

-Ugh, why cheese??- he exclaimed

-Oh cmon just try the damn pie!- 

-No fucking way that's disgusting...- he laughed.

-How do you know if you haven't tried it?- you shrugged, you couldn't believe you were actually saying that to a grown man.

-It's a fucking cheese and pear pie!- he chuckled.

You groaned loudly, throwing your head back.

-Okay fine, fine...- you put the fork down and placed your hand on your hip, looking over at the pastries and up at him again.

He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms, his eyes studying you with a winning look, he wanted to be a child, fine, you'll treat him like a child.

-How does the little baby feel about custard and jam, huh?- you tilted your head mockingly.

He squinted at you and his grin stretched out, the deep smile lines tracing it. He leaned closer and you saw as he looked up and down at you, almost predatory in a way.

-I know you're trying to mock me, but you have no idea how hot you sound saying that- he drilled into you with his eyes, his tone lower.

You shut your eyes and bit your cheek in an effort to not roll your eyes at him, you knew that would only make it worse, you drew a sharp breath, and lifted one of the fresh pastries in between you and him, you were dying to hear him talk to you like that a bit more, but first you needed to do this.  
He didn't take his eyes off of you as he took the pastry from your hand and backed away a bit to taste it, he eyed it for a second, then took a bite, another surprised frown took over his face.

-Holy shit...this is even better- he bit faster and nodded to himself- It's so fucking good!- 

Your eyes widened at his exclamation and you smiled, happy that it was as good as you intended, he seemed to be completely distracted by it now, he bit into it until he ate it whole and you giggled. Taking from his reactions you guessed the best and safest choices were the pound cake and the pastries.

-Yeah the pear and cheese bullshit is too fancy- he scrunched his nose at the pies.

-Hey!- you slapped his arm.

-I'm sure it's just as amazing as the others but just...- he scrunched his nose again and shook his head, you laughed, he looked so cute when he did that.

-How about you make some cookie dough?- he suggested.

Okay so he IS a child.

-Oh my god...cookie dough?? Not even cookies? What are you 7??- you mocked.

-What? My mom didn't make cookie dough she'd just buy it premade and stamp the cookies on a tray- he gestured with his hands and put on his best victim look.

-Aaw poor thing...- you joked, pouting.

He seemed to have liked that because he leaned closer again, lips parted, you could bet they tasted sweet now after his little tasting of your baked goods. This time you let him draw you in, you smiled up at him and his arm went around your waist, pulling you closer.

-Mm yes i am a very very poor thing...- he teased, shaking his head pretending to feel sad.

He looked so fucking good, the little role playing was getting you going as well and you slid your hands up his collarbones to his neck, twirling a strand of hair between your fingers.

-You are?- you said in an innocent pouty tone.

-Oh fuck yes...- he sighed, his breath hitching as he met your lips.

You giggled as he kissed you and then hummed, his lips did taste of sugar, and also a bit of the strawberry jam, his hands encased your waist and brought you even closer against his chest as his soft lips and tongue devoured yours. Your hands ran through his hair and pushed him down, deepening the kiss with your tongue now dancing with his, then you slid down cupping his face, sharper breaths being drawn by each of you as a result of not wanting to break the kiss.

He started slowly walking you back until you hit the kitchen island, his arms wrapped your waist tight and he lifted you over the granite surface, you moaned as you opened your legs for him to come closer again, he bit and sucked gently on your lower lip and you moaned again, feeling your core warming up. Your hands now slid down to his chest and torso until you found where his shirt stopped and sneaked your hands under, you felt him tense under your touch and you caressed up and down, memorizing the bumps of his abs and the toned muscles on his chest.

He gripped your lower back and pulled you closer, your center now against his covered crotch, feeling the increasing pressure against his jeans, you grinded on him and he growled, tightening his grip on your hip as to encourage you.   
The doorbell rang, you hesitated at the sound for a second and he slowed down the kiss, but you weren't expecting anyone, whoever it was would have to come back later. You kept kissing him, his warm mouth moving in sink with yours, the touch of his tongue making you dripping wet and moaning softly, his hands came lower to stroke at your thighs. 

The doorbell rang again, you groaned into the kiss but didn't stop, sliding down your hands slowly through his chest, letting your nails scratch gently until you reached the belt on his pants, his crotch and yours impossibly close.

The doorbell rang again. And again.

-If you don't open the door i will and I'll punch whoever's fucking there- he panted, pulling away from the kiss with a clenched jaw.

You huffed and groaned again, he stepped away and you hopped off the counter and walked to the door in frustrated arousal to tell whoever was bothering to fuck off, not even sparing a glance at the side window to check who it was, you furiously opened the door to the one person you would've actually liked to see Philip punch.

Nick.

Philip's POV:

As soon as he saw her name pop up on his screen he had all attention on it, after the other day he couldn't get her out of his head, to be fair she hadn't left since she arrived, but seeing how she single handedly pinned his brothers by the ears and dragged them inside, it wasn't supposed to be hot but fuck it turned him on for some reason, just like she did in the kitchen, when she started wandering through her thoughts to him, she was so deep in thought and her eyes were bright and full of something he couldn't pin when she looked at him, and while she spoke and then came back from her mind to smile and gaze up at him, he felt his heart pulsing and electricity run down him, he wanted her so bad in that exact moment, his lips were tingling to taste hers.

And today she amazed him again, he knew she made great desserts but fuck, everything tasted so good, if he had been a little less of a dumbass he could bet he would've loved the pie as well. Her lips had to be his favorite though, he was finally tasting them again, so soft and sultry, he wanted to bite them until they drew blood and then have her moan as he sucked on that blood.

And then the fucking doorbell rang.

He could murder the poor insisting bastard that stood behind that door, and he knew he would if she didn't go and get it, as she walked away he looked down at his bulging hard on, great, hopefully whoever decided to interrupt wouldn't actually come in.

-Nick...- he heard her say.

His head snapped up in her direction, from the archway of the kitchen he could see her standing at the door, expression paralyzed in surprise, looking out at her ex boyfriend, although Philip couldn't see him. He saw the window on the small eating area next to the kitchen island and walked to it, carefully moving the curtain just enough so he could lean and see the idiot. He couldn't get the best look, but the guy stood there, smile on his face as if he had a good fucking reason to be here, Philip left the window and went to stand next to the archway, close so he could hear without being seen, but visible to her incase she needed him.

-Hey babe...- he heard the dumbass say, he wished she would've let him answer the door because he actually did want to punch him.

-What are you doing here??- she said.

-Well i thought you'd come back, so we could talk, but since you didn't well...i decided to come here myself- he explained casually, as if he wasn't insane.

-I told you i didn't want to talk and to send me my stuff through the mail.- 

-Yes and i told you to please talk to me...- he said softly.

-And i told you i don't want to talk to you. If you wanted to talk you should've done it...i don't know last year probably.-

-Okay we don't need to talk, but please just listen to me then...-

-No.- she stated.

-Oh come on babe, you can't simply break it off and disappear and then not expect me to want an explanation!- his tone started going higher, and Philip's patience was running lower.

-I already fucking gave you an explanation Nick. We don't fucking work! You want to talk now, but I've been trying to talk with you for months! And not one time did you actually tried and listen to me, not once did you try to make up for the snappy attitudes and the careless ways, so don't fucking come here and plead for me to listen because you don't deserve it!!- she was mad, but Philip couldn't help a proud smirk as she put him on his place.

-But I'm here now! And i wanted to see you, i want you back, and I'm not going away without you accepting me because we've been together for too long for us to simply fall apart. I've always been there for you this last 3 years, and i don't think you want to walk away from that as much as you say you do.- 

Philip could smell the manipulation from a mile away, he really was a douchebag, he didn't love her, because Philip may not know much about love, but he was sure that if you really loved someone as much as people always described, you didn't let issues like that just slip away, and if your partner leaves, you don't wait almost a full two fucking weeks to come get them, Philip knew that because he had never done it, because he had never really loved that hard.  
He saw her blow him off one more time before trying to close the door, but he stepped forward enough to stretch his arm and try to keep it open, her eyes widened at the sudden action and so did Philip's, he took that as a sign to step in.

He took two long steps and rounded her, placing his arm around her waist and looking down at her with his softest yet most enticing expression, which wasn't at all a challenge.

-Hey, everything okay?- he said softy, smiling down at her, he then looked up at the douchebag pretending he hadn't seen him- Oh hi, you must be 5 minutes Nick...-

The guy was short. Well, shorter than him, he took instant note of that, he had short dirty blonde hair and green eyes, he was okay, deceiving when you didn't know he had a 5 inch dick. He gave him a wide false smile and stretched his arm, the dumbfounded man shook it as he looked between him and her, trying to piece it together, and then had the nerve to look offended.

-Who's this?- he said.

She placed her hand on his waist and gestured with the other towards him.

-This is Philip, Altman, you remember the Altmans? From across the street?- she said slowly, she felt nervous besides him, his thumb stroke her side.

-Philip Altman? You left me two weeks ago and you're fucking the guy you once told me was a womanizer??- he spat.

Okay that was the fucking line.

-Hey hey, back off, she can do whatever the fuck she wants- Philip stepped forward.

-Yeah she sure can, she fell so low she's doing you.- Nick snarled, still looking at her.

-Oh you fucking pri...-

She didn't get to finish her cursing at him when Philip's fist landed on his jaw. Sooner or later one of the two was going to punch him, it just turned out Philip was closer, he shook his hand in the air besides him.

-WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!- the guy screamed at him with wide shocked eyes. 

Before Philip could go at him again, she walked up and grabbed his arm, he could feel his fists clench again and his breathing getting deeper, then she turned to Nick.

-Go away Nick, get the fuck out of here!!- her index finger pointed behind the little bitch that was her ex boyfriend.

-FINE! You know what?? You stay in this stupid fucking town and fuck whoever the hell you want you fucking bitch!- 

She didn't even looked fazed before her palm slapped the shit out of this guy's face, Philip's eyes opened like plates, she slapped him so hard the asshole's head actually snapped to the left. He had to contain a satisfied smile when he saw the utter shock on his face, Philip stepped forward, just incase he decided to go nuts, instead the guy looked at him again and turned, they watched him pacing to his car and speeding off the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not that anyone cares but the pear and cheese pie IS good i ordered it once at a tea house lmao


	13. Comfort Character

Your POV:

You walked back inside with Philip trailing behind you, you were pissed, but that slap drained it all out of you, now you were just shaken. At first when you saw him standing there you felt nervous, and then you slowly started to get mad, and then a bit scared when his false soft gesture turned into a grimace and he slammed on the door to keep it open. 

You knew Philip was standing nearby, instant comfort washed over you as he stepped besides you, and then another tingle of nervousness when you felt his hand on your waist, your body reacted as if Nick's presence suddenly meant that Philip's hands on you meant you were cheating, which was ridiculous.

It was an entire rollercoaster to say the least, topping it off with Philip's fist on his jaw, to be fair, either he did it, or you did it, and in the end you traded a punch for a slap, he got lucky, because he deserved both.

-Are you okay?- you turned to Philip to look at his knuckles.

-I'm fine- he said lifting his hand- He has a weak jaw- he smiled.

A chuckle escaped as you looked up at him, he joined you and you shook your head, still replaying the whole situation back in your head, you were glad it hadn't escalated, it all happened quite fast, the insults, then the hits and finally the speeding off. 

-How did you know about the 5 minutes?- you looked up at Philip.

A small laugh came out of him and he raised a brow.

-I didn't, i was guessing- he said, chuckling.

Now your face was beet red, when you said sex with Nick was bad at the last few strands of your relationship, you weren't joking, it was fast and bad, it went from an initial 20 to 30 minutes to a solid 5. Maybe 10 if it was on occasion, at one point you kind of accepted that maybe that's how it was when you've been with someone for long enough, it still didn't explain how you never came though.

-Oh...- you said simply.

-He's a full dickhead isn't he?- he said, once again laughing.

-He wasn't always like that trust me, i promise I'm not that dumb- you gestured with your hand- I can't believe he said all those things...-

You thought back to them, he essentially called you a whore, twice. Now that you were thinking about it, it kind of hurt, being called a bitch and whore by someone that at one point you even thought you would marry, someone that loved you and that you used to love. Apparently you didn't know him as well as you thought you did.

A part of that scared you, Nick hadn't really screamed at you for most of your relationship, and he had been getting more and more scary these last few times, more manipulative, he had come all the way here to convince you to go back, and not in the romantic way, he said it himself, he wasn't taking no for an answer, a shiver ran up your arms at the thought of Philip not being there after Nick tried to keep the door open with a slam, and how dark his eyes had gotten.

-Hey, you okay?- Philip's gentle tone snapped you out of your thoughts.

You looked up at him again, watching the small look of concern drawn on his gesture, your hands hugged your arms, suddenly you felt cold, not real cold, this was a similar type of cold like the one you felt that night at the hotel after breaking up with Nick, the cold from the shivers that uncertainty brought.

-Yeah no, i'm, i'm fine...- you said in a hushed tone, swallowing- I just... i've never seen him like that...- 

-Hey...- he said, his hand cupped your face, his thumb caressed your cheek and you just wanted to melt into his touch- He's a fucking asshole, he doesn't deserve you, you're amazing, and you deserve someone that'll treat you right...-

Until now you hadn't noticed, but your breathing had gone deeper, and now you felt it relax, tamed by the caramel eyes looking at you, his words soft and tender and comforting, he was comforting, in many ways these last couple of days, and maybe that's why you let it be, maybe it wasn't a crush, maybe it was a comfort you needed, like those comfort movie or book characters everyone had. Your lips parted, easing at his presence, his eyes fell to them and you leaned closer, letting him know it was okay, he looked back into your eyes for one last confirmation and slowly, very gently, kissed them.

Your lips molded into his, his fingers tangled into the hair from the back of your head and his thumb traced your jaw, another shiver ran down your arms at the warmth of his actions, your body craved more of that warmth, that closeness, that contact, your arms wrapped around his waist, and his other hand also came up to cup your face. 

He deepened the kiss, his tongue running along your bottom lip, he still tasted just a little bit of sugar, you hummed, resuming how you felt back in the kitchen, your tongue joined his and they corresponded each other in your mouths, he brought you even closer, your body pressing against his. You felt him hum in a sigh to your lips, your heart swelled, and suddenly Nick didn't matter at all.

-Upstairs?- he breathed out between kisses.

-Mhmm- you nodded.

You moved together to the base of the stairs, neither one pulling away from each other's lips, when you climbed the first two steps you laughed as you pulled away, and he smiled wide, you took his hand and climbed the steps with him trailing behind you, before you could forget you turned abruptly, making him look up at you wide eyed.

-I haven't bought condoms yet- it almost sounded like a question.

He stuck his hand in his pocket and held up a silver package between two fingers with a long smile. You tilted your head in a grimace that quickly turned into a smile.

-Oh come on man...- you laughed.

-What?? You said you wanted me to taste something remember?- he smirked.

Your bit your lip and this time you didn't contain the eye rolling, before he could say anything you kept going up the stairs and into the hallway, as you stepped into your room you felt his hands encase your waist and his nose bury in your hair, you turned to face him again, searching for his lips, you heard the door close and he kissed you with need and passion.

His chest pressed to yours, you felt him under his shirt, broad and tall in front of your figure, your hands tangled up in his hair to let him wrap you with his thick arms and big hands, and as he did so he lifted you and dropped you onto the bed, you yelped unexpectedly before laughing with him as he crawled on top of you, this time his lips didn't stay on yours, they drifted down to your jaw and neck, leaving wet kisses all over as his hands sneaked under your shirt and to your breasts, squeezing under your bra, your thighs pressed as a result of the arousal in between them.

Your own hands undid his belt, you wanted to slide inside his jeans but the man was long and your arms were not, instead you bent your knee up and rubbed your thigh on his crotch and tugged at his shirt, his breaths came hot and hitched against your neck before he sat up to pull his shirt off, you took the chance and took yours off as well, before you could undo your bra he stopped you and tugged at the hem of your jeans.

-Take these off, leave your underwear...- he said, taking off his belt and undoing his zipper.

His eyes didn't leave yours as you undid your pants and pulled them down, looking up at him the entire time, once they were off though, he broke his gaze to look down and take your body in, his hands came to your waist and moved down your sides, and you felt a bit too exposed, a bit too insecure as he reached your belly, you looked away from his face, you could bet he didn't feel insecure with his muscular torso and his boner almost fully uncovered in front of you, but you weren't exactly thrilled at the way he was roaming your body intensely with his eyes.

-Fuck you're gorgeous...- he said under his breath.

Your eyes came back to his, and his came back to yours, he seemed truthfully astonished by you, his lips parted and his eyes shone, dark and lustful, but tender in their usual way, you sat up and placed a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him down with you as you kissed him, moaning as his tongue danced with yours.

When he was on top of you again, his hand slid under you to undo your bra and you arched your back to aid him, when it was unhooked his mouth found your collarbones, you slid the bra off and threw it somewhere as his kisses traveled to the high of your breast and took it in his mouth, your breaths came out ragged and his hands spread your legs open for him to lay between them, his teeth nibbled at your nipple, sucking hard making your back arch up before he let go with a small pop.

When you thought that was good, he reached at your other breast to give it attention, and his tongue swirled and ran over the hardened nub, you wanted to look down at him but god it felt so good you had to throw your head back, your fingers on his hair, encouraging him too not stop, he moaned and sucked harder, earning a moan from you as well.

Your hips bucked, feeling your panties dampening and asking for his touch, he moaned once more and left your nipple, more sucking and nibbling made it's way down your belly until he placed himself in between your thighs, right above your panties, you breathed shakily when his hands stroked up and down your thighs. His mouth finally came down to tease at your pussy over your panties, making the wet spot even wetter, you whined at him, he laughed.

-What is it baby?-

-Stop teasing.- you breathed.

-Mm...nope- he mocked.

Your hips bucked up again to get more of his touch, he pulled away as they came up. He chuckled up at you and even though you didn't want to, you also laughed at your own pleading, but whined again, still aching for his mouth on you.

He came up again, his hands on the sides of your head and his face over yours, a few strands draping down on his face.

-Tell me what you want- he said, his hips bucking forward to tease you with his covered boner.

You bit your lip, your eyes dark and begging.  
-I want you to taste something...- you said, a smile forming at the corners of your bitten lip.

He breathed deeply, a pleased smirk now on his face as he came down again, your panties slid off your legs and as soon as you opened them again his mouth came to suck at your pussy, his tongue sliding and pushing in between your folds. Your head fell back and a loud gasp choked out of your mouth, the warm touch of his tongue taking you unexpectedly and feeling so so good.

Your fingers found his hair and gripped tight, he licked up and found your clit, sucking it into his mouth and teasing it fast, you whimpered and moaned, loving the feeling, your back arching and your hips tensing, he moaned and caressed up your sides and to your tits with his hands, squeezing them as he played with your clit.

-Fuck...Philip...- you panted, a string of moans following.

Tingles of pleasure shot up at you when he grazed his teeth over your clit, a louder moan emerging from your throat, his hand left your breast, not without squeezing hard at it one last time, and sneaked it down, stroking two fingers up your entrance, you swayed your hips with his tongue while also waiting for his fingers in you, he slid one in, pumping and turning it as he flicked your clit, you whimpered and moaned, your eyes shut as you felt your orgasm close, sounds of wetness filling the room.

Another finger, and your mouth fell open, moans and gasps coming out of it, feeling the pressure building with each delicious pump of his long fingers and every stroke of his rough tongue.

-Yes, oh god, don't stop...- you panted between cries as you got closer and closer, your hands tugging at his hair.

-Cum for me baby, cmon...- you heard him say slowly. 

His movements sped up and you tensed, your hips bucked hard, the sounds of his fingers inside you getting wetter as you built up and let go, a long and high cry choking out your throat as strong pleasure struck at you, his fingers slowing down but keeping a steady pace as your orgasm finished taking over you.

He sat up again, his hair falling over his face and his lips wet with your juices, that's when you noticed his hand stroking at his pulsing length.

-Fuck, turn over.- he looked down, mouth falling open.

Your body felt limp and you could feel your legs tremble as you turned over your stomach, bending your knees to lift your ass up and arching your back pressing your torso down on the mattress, but the sight of his throbbing cock already made you want more. You heard him open the condom and place it on, then his hand caressed up your ass and squeezed lightly before pushing the tip in, you breathed heavily, reminding yourself how big he was as he stretched you out, pushing into your tight cunt. 

His hands gripped at your hips, and he bucked forward hard, you yelped in pleasure, your head laying sideways on the mattress, his breath hitched as he fucked you from behind, slow at first but hard.

-God you're so tight baby...- he moaned.

His pace didn't take long to pick up speed, his thrusts coming in faster, gaining moans from you, and harder, gaining small gasps in between said moans, pounding you good, making your eyes roll back as you listened to his own moaning and cursing. Your second orgasm already starting to form, making your walls tighten around his big shaft.

-You like my cock pounding into your pussy? Huh?-

-God yes...- you moaned.

He grunted, his thighs slapping against your ass as he thrusted into you harder, you felt his body lean over you, making him touch your cervix with every thrust, making you grip the sheets, your mouth fell open, whines and moans coming out as he plunged into you, he was hitting the right spot every time and you were about to lose yourself.

-Oh yes, yes, right there, fuuckk, hmm...- you whimpered, your eyes sealed shut.

-Shhit I'm so close...- he panted.

The grip on your hips grew tighter, his slamming into you got impossibly harder and you started seeing stars, your toes curled at the amazing electricity running on your core, your moans turning into screams with every fast thrust of his cock, curses and praises came out of both your mouths and resounded in the walls along with your jagged and harsh breaths.

-Agh, Philip...i'm gon-i'm gonna cum!- you stuttered.

He came as close as he could from your face, you could feel the pants of his breaths on your back. 

-Cum, cum on my fucking cock- he managed to whisper.

That was more than enough to tip you over the edge, your legs shook as you came, a long extended moan stringing out of your mouth as warmth spread up your belly, you heard Philip curse and moan between harsh breaths as he too reached his high. He caressed your hips fondly and slid out of you, as soon as he did you let the limp extensions of flesh that used to be your legs relax and fall slowly on the bed, one left slightly bent to the side.

You felt a weight over you, and Philip's lips and beard on your back, leaving a few soft kisses, going up to your shoulder, and instant small smile appeared on your face, he huffed as he let himself fall next to you, you heard the sound of latex being pulled and tossed, when you opened your eyes he laid there with his eyes closed and his lips parted, hair messy and chest red from the recent orgasm, he had one forearm draped over his face, his knuckles looked swollen, the veins over them not showing up as strongly as before, and it had stained red where the bones were.

-Oh shit, your hand- you said, sitting up to look at it.

You held his knuckles in your palm gently, suddenly realizing the room had gotten darker, but you positioned yourself so that the light from the window hit right and you could see, it didn't look too bad, you didn't think anything was broken otherwise he'd be in pain, he certainly wouldn't be able to grip at your hips the way he had.

-It's okay, you should see the other guy- he joked, you laughed.

-Does it hurt?- 

-Just a little...- he started- But i'm fine trust me...- he raised his brows at you.

You kissed each of his knuckles very lightly, a small gesture of gratitude for being there today, your hands were like half the size of his, and you didn't really know how to punch, if you had done it you would've broken your wrist, or sprained it at least. When you looked back at him his eyes were soft, staring into yours.

-You know, this hurts too.- he tapped a finger over his lower lip.

You tilted your head at the corny attempt, he had literally just fucked you, he could just kiss you if he wanted to, you'd more than let him, but no, he had to be a flirt. A smirk drew on your lips as you gave him a "for real?" raised brow, and he pouted, quite literally, he fucking pouted.

Fuck i love it when he pouts...

You laid on your side, draping one hand over his chest as you leaned forward and meet his lips, kissing him softly, his arm came around you protectively and his fingers ran through your hair, you relaxed under his hold, feeling him smile between small tender pecks.


	14. Certain Moments

The two of you stayed in bed for about an hour before you realized that first, there was stuff to clean downstairs and second, you were both starting to doze off.

And also why were you cuddling??

You'd never had a casual thing before, you'd only had a one night stand once, and you were nervous the entire time about being in the dorm of a total stranger, you both barely fitted in his bed, and he didn't exactly make you breakfast the next morning, and then to top it off, the walk of shame. After that experience you thought to yourself that that was probably how it was, and you never really did it again, you also never saw the point in casual flings until now, and you had never ever thought for a second that Philip Altman would hug you tight and look at you with doe eyes when you told him you should get up and clean.

Now, it's not that Philip was an ass, you didn't think he was, but in senior year, you were taking out the trash one night, it was kinda cold and humid, and before you turned to head back in again, your eyes widened like plates at the sigh of a blonde skinny girl with messed up hair and wrinkled clothes sneaking out of Philip's room, he literally helped her out of the window, then watched her leave, didn't even give her a kiss goodbye.

That right there plus his whole reputation in school told you everything you needed to know, he was nice, but he liked to fool around, and even though he was big and cozy when he cuddled you, and he had punched Nick in the face defending you, you still reminded yourself of the reality of the situation.

That still didn't stop you from ignoring it though.

Philip was standing next to you as you washed the dishes, kind of like the other day, he grabbed a rag and started drying them when you raised a hand to stop him.

-No no no, leave them there, mom likes to leave them there a while so they won't be too wet and the rag won't end up so drenched-

He looked at you with pinched brows, you shrugged, you didn't see the sense in it either but it was an old habit of hers.

-It's her house, until i move out again i gotta do things her way...-

He gave you a tilted nod with raised brows, signaling he knew what you were talking about.

-Are they never home?- he said looking around.

You laughed, it seemed that at least they were never here when Philip paid you his "visits", thank god, you couldn't recall a time you had been so loud during sex, then again you'd never had such great sex.

-No, Horry's always at the store and mom, well, she doesn't like staying too much at home, not since dad passed away...- you trailed off.

It had been a while since you thought about your dad, a knot of guilt formed in your stomach, you remembered feeling worried that you'd forget about him at some point, and when you didn't think about him for long, that worry tended to come back.

-What about your mom? How's she doing?- you deflected the subject before he could keep you on it.

-Welp, -he started- She got her boobs done and she's planning another book tour so i think it's fair to say...she's doing fine.- he concluded with a mildly sarcastic tone, you chuckled.

So that's what was different about her...

-Y'know i always thought your mom and dad were the depiction of opposites attract.- you started, smiling-She's so open and out there, and your dad was a chill dude overall.-

His eyes widened, he leaned back against the counter next to you and nodded as if his surprise was just as big as yours, you had learned though that the older you get, the more you realize you don't know your parents, and usually, they don't know you either.

-I thought that too, I'm starting to realize maybe they were more alike than I thought,- he furrowed his brows- I wonder if my brothers are secretly kind of cool as well...-

You considered it, shaking your head from side to side as you thought about each of them and how much you knew and remembered about each.

-Aw cmon, Judd is kinda cool, and Wendy too- you shrugged.

-Meh...i guess- he scrunched his nose- Wendy is cool, she's probably the coolest out of the three-

-Paul on the other hand...- you looked up at him.

-Oh no Paul's not cool,- he shook his head decidedly, you smiled- Only when he's high- he concluded.

A laugh resounded from both of you and you shook your head, then came a silence, it wasn't tense or sexual, just the sound of clattering dishes and water as you finished cleaning.

-He offered me the job- Philip said, turning his head to look at you again.

-Oh that's great- you said genuinely.

-Yeah...- a pause- He doesn't believe in me though, he'll just wait for me to make a mistake.-

Your brows pinched looking up at him, he was looking forward and off, as if he were thinking.

-I bet he gave me the job just so that I'll fuck it up and he can tell my family he told them so.- 

His voice had dropped an octave, and he sounded serious, but also hurt in the undertones. Your gaze stayed on him, soft, not intimidating, and you kept the silence, urging him to keep talking, he had a wondering look on his face, he bit his cheek, his expression matched his tone, except he also had some stain of worries drawn on his forehead.

This silence was different, not necessarily heavier, but it felt as if it were occupied by something, or like the room's ambient had shifted.

-Well everyone fucks up at work sometimes, you shouldn't let him be an ass to you because of it...- you said encouragingly, you didn't believe Philip would let him, after seeing how they snapped at each other the other day.

He blinked and looked at you briefly before his gesture came back to how it normally looked to you, and he breathed in.

-Yeah well, even if i fuck it up I'd still be the handsome one...- he grinned as he side eyed you confidently.

Inside you wondered how genuine that confidence was, now that you noticed, that was the second time he had done that, shared one of his thoughts or concerns to you, something more personal of his, and later deflected it with a joke or a witty remark. You wouldn't push him into telling you stuff he didn't actually want to share, he evidently didn't like it, and you also didn't know if you were in a position to inquire into it, your position per se wasn't very clear really, so you simply pushed it aside and reacted to the smug addition, rolling your eyes.

-Don't roll your eyes at me, i already used the only condom i brought.- he said lowly, another grin took place on his lips.

Your eyes rolled again, seizing the opportunity, and he groaned in frustration, you tried to contain a chuckle.

***  
It was still early enough to take what you made to the bakery, you hesitated a bit before walking out the door, it seemed as if the events that had taken place there had left a looming buzz in the air, but you simply shook it off and left, not before sparing a glance at the house in front of yours, your mind obviously not in the house.

When you got there your thoughts had quieted, thoughts about Nick and how unlike him what he did today was, thoughts about how sweet Philip was after sex, thoughts about his small blue feeling moment, and how intrigued you were the more you thought about it. Thoughts about the way he always kissed your cheek before he left and lingered above your skin just enough for you to notice the difference.

-Oh hey!- the girl from last time, Erica, greeted you as you walked in.

-Hi! I hope it's not a bad time...-

-Noo no it's great let me get the head baker- she signaled for you to wait and disappeared behind the door to the back.

You took a second to look around again and take in the scent of coffee and air freshener once again, you hoped whoever the head baker was they would like your stuff, you were already growing comfortable around the vibe of the place. Erica interrupted your thoughts as she came back out with an older man behind her, a small chill of nervousness ran down your neck.

-This is the girl i told you wanted to apply for the job remember?- Erica said to the man.

-I sure do, the girl with the long list of of specialties is it right? I'm Louie, I'm the owner and head baker- he gave you a polite smile and shook your hand, you smiled back.

-Oh I wouldn't say they're all specialties, but i do know how to make them right- you laughed and he chuckled with you.

-Well, let's see then...- 

He gestured for both of you to sit, he seemed nice enough, it was always very relieving when interviewers were friendly and polite instead of serious and calculating, last time you had a job interview it felt as if your stomach was bubbling, now you were simply expectant in a curious way as he tasted your stuff, offering some to Erica as well, who nodded and looked rather pleased when she tasted it.

You tried to not look too excited and eager as you saw them both have positive reactions to your sweets, Louie eyed them as well, and chewed for longer than Erica, who was also waiting for him to talk first.

-Well...- he said, pursing his mustache and looking at you with a small closed grin- These are very good.- he stated with a nod.

-Thank you...- you sighed, you couldn't help a smile.

-They're amazing.- Erica's eyes widened as she spoke, your smile did as well.

-They really do taste very rich and not too sweet, the banana flavor in the pound cake really stands out, which isn't easy to achieve...- Louie raised a knowingly brow and you nodded, agreeing- Where did you work before?-

You opened your mouth to speak and remembered where you had not worked before, ever. In a bakery. Matter of fact you hadn't even been to culinary school, you were a journalist, couldn't be further from that unless you were a doctor.

-Well, I'm a journalist actually, i used to work for a newspaper in Chicago...- you explained slowly, hoping that wouldn't throw him off for some reason.

-Really?- he asked, not judging, just curious- Chicago's a bit far from here isn't it? And why are you interested in the position?-

You took a deep breath reminiscing in the last almost two weeks, the exhaustion, the frustration, the confusion, the disappointment. All lingering feelings leaving behind slightly nasty after tastes that you still couldn't fully get rid of.

-I've lived on this town most of my life, i came back not too long ago and...decided i wanted to take a little different turn since i had the chance, and I've always enjoyed baking, so I thought this could be a good experience that i would actually thrive on...-

That was a little out there. The "chance" you mentioned was a fancy way of sugar coating that you had gotten fired and then kicked out by your ex and felt completely impotent, so you came here looking for shelter, and the last bit of actually thriving in a job clearly a way for you to say "i hated my previous job and clearly I wasn't good at it cuz well, here we are right?"

Louie thought for a bit more, you could tell because he was nodding to himself as he looked down to the container where you brought everything and he raised his brows, following that with a concluding tap of his fingers against the table, and he looked at you.

-Well...the job pays $13 an hour, you'd be working from Monday to Friday and well, if there is any catering we'd be doing maybe a Saturday or Sunday from time to time. Are you alright with that?-

-Um...yeah, yes- you nodded quickly as you finished considering, eyes anticipating what he would say next.

-Alright then. When can you start?- he gave you a closed smile.

The smile drawn on your face was at full capacity now, stretching along your lips with excitement and a tinge of nervousness, Erica and Louie also smiled with you, you had a feeling you would all get along well, you had the same feeling of positivity that you carried the last time you were here, and you were happy about that.

-I..i, um, whenever you want, i can start right away- you nodded and blinked as if coming back to earth.

-Well I've already finished the batch for tomorrow, you got lucky- Louie grinned- So I'll see you tomorrow at 9!-

You shook hands with both of them once again, the smile never leaving you, once you stepped outside and breathed in the breeze of the late afternoon you took the time to think over your excitement, because what's a good thing if it isn't questioned right?

It made you incredibly happy to get the job, you felt like skipping as you walked, and a part of you simply dismissed it as the triumph of getting a new job, but a part of you wondered why it left you with such joy, had you grown that used to job hunting being a terrible and anxious process that the thought of someone interviewing and hiring you at the spot while always being borderline friendly with you excited you this way? Or were you just really looking forward to this? Maybe it felt as if your life was kind of rebuilding again, the thought of all of this made you giggle to yourself as you walked home, at least you were happy with yourself.

At the end of the day you were sitting on the couch with Horry watching a movie, your mom had asked about your day, you told them both about Nick, you didn't tell them about how Philip slammed his fist on his face, and god forbid about how he slammed your hips after that. Horry was about as furious as Philip, and regretted not being there to have his share of trying to break Nick's jaw, your mom was worried, shock tainted her face as she looked over at Horry.

-I can't believe he would do such a thing...- she frowned- Is he insane??- 

She seemed to have gotten increasingly mad before you assured her that it was fine and that you had given him a handful for him to go away, and the discussion ended with the three of you agreeing that you had dodged a bullet by breaking up with him, and your mom congratulating you on the new job before kissing your forehead and going to bed.

Now, as you sat next to your brother, you thought about his reaction to your tale of today's events, and you wondered how he would react if he knew about you and Philip, you were divided 50/50 between two reactions: Either he'd just stare at you and maybe make a joke about how you were doing the front door neighbor, or he'd murder him on the spot for seducing his little sister, because everyone, specially your family and his, knew how Philip was, he made girls swoon and giggle around him to conceal that he'd never step into a relationship with any of them.

No one had been the exception, why would you be?

You found your mind going back to him, it had been doing that a lot these couple of days, thinking of his lips, fuck his lips, you could talk about them all day, you sighed whenever you thought about how good they tasted, how soft and delicious they were, how good they kissed you, how well they massaged that sweet spot below your ear he seemed to have gotten keen on as soon as he knew you liked it.

If that was as far as your mind went, it would be easier to rule out your attraction to him as merely physical, but that was not where your mind stopped, it took you through every aspect of him you had gotten to know, how he wrapped his arm around your waist when he kissed you goodbye, how he grinned and smiled at you with that big cute, slightly even dorky smile. How deep his hazel eyes were and the way they scanned your face every time he had a chance and his constant attempts at making you laugh.

That last one triggered another aspect, your reactions towards him, maybe that was what made you question, how he succeeded at making you laugh almost every time, how your breathing hitched and at the same time relaxed when you found him looking at you, how you felt admired whenever he talked to you and told you how amazing you were, how you wanted to know more about those personal, slightly out of himself thoughts, and how today when Louie gave you the job, you couldn't wait to tell him.

-Hey...- you started, getting your brother's attention- What do you think of Philip Altman?-

Great, that wasn't obvious or anything.

He frowned and shrugged.  
-I don't know...why?-

Now you shrugged.  
-I don't know, don't you think there's something different about him?- you continued, trying to sound casual but inquisitive.

-I'd say after so much time away he hasn't changed a single bit, he's still a full man child- he raised a brow, still looking at the screen.

You chuckled, a bit falsely.  
-You think he'll always be a high school jock?-

He laughed.  
-I mean he hasn't matured until now so why would he? I'm just surprised no one has beat him up yet for his Casanova tendencies.- he smiled briefly at you and turned back to the screen.

You hummed in response, and didn't ask further, you didn't want to get too much into it, didn't want your brother knowing you had a rather sexual crush on the guy like those girls he'd always be seen, or not seen, with. But you were sure he had never punched someone in the face just to impress them, or fuck them, that's why you thought maybe he was nicer than you thought, a decent guy beyond what you already thought.

Lingering intrigue stayed circling your mind as you once again replayed your conversations, some moments that stood out to you, like how he consoled you that day on your front door, how he kept opening up about his personal...insecurities? Even for just a small moment, and mostly, the way that small star on the center of his hazel eyes looked down at you draping that something you still couldn't quite put your finger in.

Then again, desire and passion could be great motivators, and maybe that was what you saw in the darkness of his dilated pupils, after all, that look did make your core flutter.


	15. Birthday

-Morning! Ooh Halloween decorations- you said gingerly, stepping through the front door of the bakery.

-Yess!! Finally, i love Halloween- Erica's eyes widened looking back at you as she hung the pumpkin shaped garlands over the transparent coffee displayers.

Tomorrow it'll be a week and a half since your first day working at the bakery, and already Erica and you were becoming very close, last week she wore a Star Wars vintage shirt and you found out you were both huge fans and rambled about it all day, she was really nice, and it felt great to have someone to chat and laugh, even somedays out of work you'd text. 

Speaking of texts, Philip had been texting you a lot more, which you didn't mind at all, he was fun to text, the other day he asked you if he could call, and you agreed, you ended up talking for about 2 or 3 hours, and from there you had called each other a few other times, he'd told you a bit about working at the store, about how Paul was against any major changes, and all he wanted to do were major changes. The rest was just shameless flirting back and forth, with a few blushes here and there from you, every time you'd blush at his flirty tone, you were glad he wasn't there to see, and also wondering why you blushed so hard all of a sudden.

You had also caught yourself smiling a few times when he texted you, which was not a good sign at all, but convinced that your previous knowledge on Philip's character would prevent you from catching feelings, you shook them off...those exact feelings.

-You got any plans for Halloween?- you asked her walking behind the counter.

-Mm not really, I'll probably make my fiancé sit down and watch movies with me, maybe pick a pumpkin,- she looked over at you and gave you a suggestive smile- How about you? Any plans with Philip?- 

She accentuated his name as she said it, and you chuckled raising a brow, you hadn't really told her about Philip, so you wondered how she knew his name.

-How do you know about Philip?- you frowned.

-I heard you talk to him on the phone during your lunch break the other day- she laughed.

-Ooh... yeah, no- you shook your head, answering her previous question- It's not like that, we're not...-

You didn't know how to complete that sentence, you weren't...what? Seeing each other? Dating? You simply shook your head hoping Erica would understand, but either she didn't, or she saw through your bullshit, a blind person could see through your bullshit.

-So...what are you guys?- she asked, smiling.

-We're...- you looked away with a confused and unknowing expression.

Friends? Friends with benefits? Fuck buddies? 

-...casual...- you said, hesitatingly- I don't know, it's a weird thing were like, we chat and we've slept together, but there's nothing actually going on, and I don't mind that- you shrugged- It's actually kind of perfect for me right now, who knew a player would be perfect at any moment right?-

She huffed and nodded.  
-You said it...so you know he's a player?-

-Oh yeah- you nodded- Always has been, i knew him in high school, well, everyone did, he had this reputation around- you gestured with your hands- So i know that he isn't really looking for anything, but then again neither am i, he just likes to flirt and fuck...and he's pretty funny, so that's good-

He also has a cute smile and puppy eyes.

Erica hummed and squinted a bit, a smirk appearing on her face, suspicion tainting her expression as she stayed silent, almost waiting for you to admit something.

-What?- you smiled.

-You really wanna know?- she said.

-Yeah- you laughed- Go ahead, tell me-

You were almost sure she was going to tell you that there was no way he wouldn't still play you, and that he most definitely didn't care about you, but you knew all this was possible.

-You're so into him.- she stated, you curled your lip and widened your eyes, as if a tingle hadn't just ran up your chest when she said that.

-No I'm not!- you chuckled, she nodded , insisting- I'm really not! He's just really good in bed okay??- you laughed.

-Y/n!!- she gasped jokingly.

You both giggled at each other and the subject dissolved, you were tying your hair up in a ponytail to get to work when your phone buzz, it was a text from Philip, followed closely by another one.

-Oh, speaking of the devil...- you said for Erica to hear.

-Is it him?-

-Yep-

-It's 9:45 in the morning what could he possibly text you about- she sarcastically teased, giving you a grin, you shook your head.

Messages (2)

Altman:  
Good morning 

———

Altman:  
Hey can i call you later?

———

A small gust of nervousness burned in your chest, you furrowed your brows, stopping yourself from it, you shouldn't feel nervous, it's not like you should worry he'd broke up with you, worst case scenario he'd tell you he didn't want to pay you his little visits anymore, and you'd be left without his huge dick. 

-He asked if he could call me later...- you furrowed your brows.

-Oh no, did he say why?- Erica leaned against the counter.

-Nope, it's probably nothing though- you shrugged, almost trying to convince yourself.

Messages.

You:  
Morning, yeah sure

———  
You:  
Lunch break at 13

———

Too much thinking was going into a dumb two texts from someone you supposedly weren't seeing for a romantic purpose, and you shook your head and tossed your phone on your bag, forcing yourself to focus on work, and then when he called, you'll see what he wanted. Not that it should matter that much to you anyways.

Lucky for your overthinking self, there was a lot to do, and you kept yourself very busy and very distracted, it wasn't that you were worried, not exactly, it was more of a confusing state where you didn't know what he needed to tell you that had to be told through a call, and you also didn't understand why it bugged you, knowing Philip, you wouldn't be surprised if he told you he didn't want to see you anymore through a phone call.

When lunch break finally came, you fought against your own eagerness, focusing on your hunger instead of your head, you walked out the bakery with yours and Erica's orders for today. Five steps were walked, and your phone buzzed with a call, you looked at the time before answering, 13:02.

Wow, he didn't even wait 5 minutes.

-Hi there- you said picking up the call.

-Hey beautiful- Philip sung on the other end of the line.

You rolled your eyes, and you heard him snickering.

-Did you roll your eyes?- he teased.

You bit your lip and shut your eyes, feeling yourself blush in the street.  
-Yes i did, what did you want to call me for?-

He chuckled.  
-Well...do you have any plans tonight?-

Your steps halted a bit at the question, you blinked.

Is he gonna ask me out on a date??

-Mm...no...why?- you asked suspiciously.

-It so happens to be my birthday tomorrow, aand i know a great bar to get drunk at, wanna come?- he explained.

Of course he wasn't.

-Oh...- you sighed- And you couldn't have texted me that?- you giggled jokingly.

Really, why did he need to call and get you overthinking that maybe something had happened, then again, he shouldn't care, he didn't care, and you knew you shouldn't either.

-I wanted to hear your pretty voice- he sung in a low tone through the phone.

Another blush perked up your cheeks, you were sure by now it might be reaching your ears, and you stifled a laugh, he giggled wickedly on the other end.

-Did you roll your eyes again?- he asked seductively.

-I did not, actually- you said proudly.

-Aaw, bummer...- he tskd, then chuckled- So you coming or not?-

-Yeah sure, where?-

-To the bar...- he laughed.

Now your eyes did roll.  
-Where's the bar Philip?- 

-Oh, don't worry about it, I'll pick you up in the Porsche.- you could feel his smirk.

-Okay 1, you live right across the street, you won't be "picking me up", and 2, didn't you say you wanted to get drunk? I'm not driving back with you drunk, and I don't think you'd want me to drive your car.- you stated.

He hummed slowly but short, you breathed deep in response, the sound low in your ear.

-I bet you'd look so sexy driving it...- his voice had lowered.

You bit your lip but try to huff in a way to disguise your hitched breath at his words.

-Yeah, right...- you said sarcastically, or so you hoped.

-In a tight red dress and some nice heels...- he continued, his voice now more teasing than low.

-Okay! I get it! You're horny. That's enough thank you...- you dismissed and chuckled.

You heard him laugh at your embarrassment, then he spoke again.

-So, you don't wanna drive the Porsche?- he giggled.

-I haven't driven a car in 4 years.- you stated.

It was true, you didn't really like driving, plus driving a freaking Porsche seemed like something you needed to be very good at, you were not feeling like lousily driving an expensive car with the drunk owner inside, maybe another night, when you wanted a funny anecdote.  
There was a small silence in the line, you knew as much as Philip's head wanted to see you drive his fancy car in a ridiculously tight outfit, his actual other head, the one over his shoulders, loved that dumb car too much.

-...okay, walking it is then- he concluded, stifling a laugh with you- I'll see you tonight then, seven?-

-Sure...- you smirked- See you then-

-Bye gorgeous- he said seductively, and hung up before you could scoff at him.

You shook your head to yourself, standing at the entrance of the small fast food place, your cheeks felt hot from blushing, he had a way with the sound of his voice, it seemed like dropping it slightly could make you melt no matter what words he spoke. A sigh went out your mouth in an attempt to get it out of your head, and you walked inside to get your lunch.

***  
The clock struck seven as you finished dinner, and you left the plates in the sink to grab your jacket and head out, not before stealing another glance at your outfit and makeup in the small hallway mirror.

-Wow, where are you going?- Horry was coming downstairs and stopped to widen his eyes at you.

-Out...- you looked over at him- To celebrate a friends birthday- you quickly said, you didn't know if that was a lie or not- I guess I'm gonna be back late so don't wait up!- you smiled as you walked to the door.

-You have friends??- he mocked.

You threw him a scoff and stuck your tongue out at him before opening the door and walking out, you heard him laugh when you closed the door, and you rolled your eyes walking to the sidewalk.

-I can't believe someone's making your eyes roll and it's not me.- you heard Philip crossing the street to you, you crossed your arms.

-Jealous Altman?- you raised a brow.

-Maybe...- he said with a smile.

As soon as he got close that same smile slowly got smaller, it didn't disappear, it was still there, but he had gotten distracted as he took you in, you would've noticed how he was looking at you if you hadn't been looking at him, he looked incredibly good, black jeans, a white v neck shirt, some very clean shoes and that jacket he wore the first night you slept with him that fit so nicely around his arms, and you had been staring for a bit too long now.

-Right, um...- you cleared your throat- Should we get going?-

-Yeah, yeah- he blinked and you both turned, walking down the road.

Walking to town took longer when there wasn't much talking, you were starting to think maybe you should've let Philip drive you there, when you thought of it it did make sense, and you cursed yourself for being too embarrassed of driving in front of him and instead choosing to make him walk all this way.

Another reality that had suddenly dawned on you was that this wasn't a date, and you weren't hanging out, it wasn't just you, there would most likely be more people at the bar, friends of his, friends you either didn't know, or friends from back in high school, which you were not in any way prepared to see.

Philip sighed and pulled out a cigarette, making you shrink at the thought of him already being bored with you and tired of walking, he offered you one and you took it, you looked up at the sky, hoping and praying that it wouldn't rain, that would honestly be the final straw. You felt your breathing getting deeper and you felt nervous, which you did not understand, was it simply the idea of meeting other people or were you nervous that Philip won't have a good time with you, how did that matter again?

When you approached the bar and he pressed his hand on your lower back, you shook the feelings away, remembering Philip's ways as he guided you to a booth against the wall in the back of the dimly lit, red and brown themed bar with a few light signs for decoration, it was a nice place, didn't rake of smoke and sweat like others.

He sat down next to you and so you were alone, you looked around and then at him.

-So who's coming?- you asked.

He looked at you, a small grin on his face.  
-No one, i just invited you- 

Your eyes squinted and twitched around his face, searching for the joke, he asked only you to join him to celebrate his birthday, that couldn't be right.

-Really?- you asked, a bit sarcastically.

-Hey, don't make me feel like a loser- he chuckled.

-It's just hard to believe that you don't have any other...friends- you shrugged, truly he saw the nonsense in this right?

He chuckled and shook his head lightly, his arm was draped over the padded backrest of the booth, his jacket tightening with the angle around his strong bicep.

-I do, but they all just ran away once high school was done, i was the only dumbass that came back- he chuckled.

You laughed, raising your brows in agreement as you nodded, apparently neither of you had ever guessed you'd be back, hopefully it would be for the better.

-Well...- you started- Since we're not waiting for anyone else, and I didn't get you a present, let me pay for your drinks- you tilted your head smiling.

His smile widened, lines encasing it as it stretched on his face, his throat bobbed with a quiet laugh and he licked his bottom lip to bite on it later, his eyes shifting to that shameless suggestive look he'd give you, staring deeply into you, a seductive grin now taking place before he spoke.

-Or...you can let me pay for the drinks- he leaned closer so slowly you barely noticed with his eyes drowning you in depth- And give me a different present later...- he said quietly.

His words gave place to a smirk from your side of the seat, your eyes now shifting to darkness with his as your breathing grew a bit harsher, his closeness letting you take in his scent, and the details of his face that you so liked to admire, looking soft yet intense under the lights of the bar, his nose sleek, the beauty marks around it decorating it perfectly, and his lips, always pouty, you bet they tasted like nicotine from the cigarette he had earlier. You shifted a bit in your seat, crossing your legs as to hide and give the warmth between your thighs a bit of relief, the bastard smirked bigger, never taking his eyes off of you, intensifying the amount of sexual tension between you.

When this tension felt like it were about to burst, he looked away and leaned back, signaling for a server to come with his hand, you gulped and glared at him, but sat straight again, pretending like you weren't dripping through your panties already.

Philip got a rounds of shots that you toasted with, two for him and two for you. Then came a round of drinks, you hadn't drank in a while, and in all honesty it kind of felt nice, you drank slowly, savoring the cold drink as to not let it hit you too hard too fast. As the night went on, the bar filled up and the noise built up, the music now a little louder and your state now a little more tipsy, as well as Philip's, judging by the amount of laughing and the red tint at the top of his ears.

-She was PREGNANT???- you half shouted at him.

-Yeah!! And Judd, he couldn't fucking believe it- he giggled- You should've seen his face, shit...poor guy- he tried stopping but he just couldn't contain the giggling, and you couldn't either.

Philip's family never disappointed when it came to stories, apparently they had anecdotes for days, it really wasn't funny how Judd's wife had cheated on him and still gotten pregnant with his baby. But the way Philip told it combined with his own drunken giggles made you chuckle and smile, your cheeks burning and cramping as you laughed at nothing except his contagious smile.

-Ooh my god...- you sighed, leaning back on your seat- Oh god, my cheeks hurt stop it- your chest shook with another small giggle as you cupped your face.

His smile never ceased as he looked over at you with wide eyes, as soon as you were finally relaxing again, he continued.

-And the guy she was cheating on him with? Total douchebag, you know who it was? Wade Beaufort...- he gestured casually.

The name sounded really familiar to you, you blinked and bit your cheek trying to remember where from, and a flashback of listening to him on the radio in Nick's car came to you.

-Oh shit the one from the radio??- he nodded- No way, Nick liked to listen to that guy-

-See, douches attract!!- Philip exclaimed, raising his brows, convinced he had just made an actual discovery.

He chuckled again when he saw you stifle a laugh by taking a sip of your drink, you shook your head looking at him.

-Yeah? Is that how you know Wade Beaufort?- you cocked a brow.

-Ouch!- he said with furrowed brows- That was mean.- 

You rolled your eyes and bit your lip playfully, your laughing ceased but your smile didn't, leaving you with that relief like sensation one gets after laughing really hard, similar to crying for long, but in a more light, liberating way. When you looked over, his eyes were on you again, he licked his lips, you leaned closer seeing that glint on his brown eyes, that something you were still trying to figure out.

His hand touched your calf, resting over it and rubbing his thumb, his touch warm, you were now aware of how close he was sitting that he barely extended his arm to touch you, the extension of his palm and fingers covering the whole area from one side to the other, your skin shivered, and your breath hitched as he moved up, reaching your thigh, and stopping a moment to give it a very light squeeze.

-Have i told you how much i love when you roll your eyes at me?- he said, a slightly drunken grin on his face, but his voice low and gruff.

-You're drunk Altman- you raised a brow at him, a faint smell of the alcohol on his breath hit you, but you didn't mind, you were a bit too entranced on his eyes, which had landed on your lips.

He looked up and you met the heaviness of his dilated pupils in a crash of intensity, lust, attraction, softness, care, all together in the hazel, the void, and the little star on his eyes. You felt his warm palm sliding closer to the hem of your skirt, his fingers gripping and sliding inward on your thigh, making your lips part.

-Drunk on how good you look on this skirt maybe...- he mumbled- I want to hike it up those curves of yours...- 

That had to be one of the corniest things he had ever said to you, but the follow up to it, now you were the one feeling drunk on him, on how close his hand was from getting under your skirt, on how wet you could feel your core getting, on the mental picture he had painted for you, you imagined straddling him right here, the bar empty, the place all for you two to live out the daydream, his hands pulling up your skirt to knead at your ass as you grinded on his crotch, kissing him, tasting the liquor on his tongue.

-Altman??!-

You were both snapped out of your thoughts by the loud exclamation, it almost made you jump, the noise of the bar once again coming to your focus as you and Philip searched for the origin of the voice.

A knot tied in your stomach, you were sure your eyes had widened like plates at the sight of the tall guy with blonde hair and brown eyes, a mole under one of them, approaching the booth with a shiny almost overwhelming smile that had been the main picture of your bullying in high school.

Jerry Roscoe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oouuhh cliffhanger, don't worry, it gets worse lol.


	16. Friends

-What's up man??- Jerry Roscoe walked over to the booth with open arms and a flashy smile.

He greeted Philip like old pals do.

He said he didn't invite anyone else, then again, if you wanted to invite the bully and the bullied to the same place, you would also lie to them about the other one being there. Difference is, you wouldn't invite the bully, you thought Philip wouldn't either, apparently you were wrong.

You gulped twice, once the spit from your mouth and and a second time what was left from your drink, although something told you you'd need a couple more of those to feel totally fine. When you looked up again, a tall, very skinny and blonde girl was trailing behind Jerry.

And who was that??

She greeted Philip cupping his face with one hand and kissing his cheek with her lipgloss pancaked lips, your brows furrowed slightly as Philip's jaw tensed and he looked over at you.

-Um, Y/n this is...- he paused for a full two seconds and barbie intervened, extending her hand to you.

-Im Chelsea- she said, as if her name was supposed to mean something to you- Philip and i used to date-

As she said this her body, more specifically her breasts, pressed against Philip's arm as he hugged it and flashed you a big smile followed by a giggle as she sat down between him and Jerry, he placed her arm around her shoulders.

Of course you did.

-Nice to meet you...- you said a bit quietly, not wanting to take much part on this group of individuals.

-And I'm Jerry- he smiled at you as well- Chelsea and i are dating- 

You glanced at Philip, who didn't seem too confused or worried, and even had a small closed smile on his face. Did Jerry truly not remember you or was he messing with you, Philip shifted in his seat a bit before speaking.

-You guys are...what are you guys doing here?- the slurr that was on his words before was now gone, but he couldn't have sobered up so fast.

-We're just passing by, having a little date night- Chelsea said, leaning against Jerry in a clingy way- So how are you doing cupcake?- 

Her hand slithered to Philip's knee and you concluded she was talking to him, he had just called him cupcake, you didn't know if the knot on your belly was from wanting to throw up, burst into laughter, or jealousy, either way you shook your head, couldn't be jealousy, you and Philip weren't anything.

You took the chance of your empty glass to scurry away to the bar, away fron the hot ex girlfriend and the bully you apparently were still shaken up by, it wasn't that you were afraid, it was the fact that he could bring it up, he could give you funny looks, you were wearing a short skirt, who was to say he wouldn't take the chance to make fun of you yet again, and then there was Chelsea, she was so conventionally hot it made you feel stupid for putting this outfit on, suddenly you felt over dressed, seen, no, watched, like you did in high school, as if someone was simply looking, waiting for something, even the slightest detail to pick apart from you. 

While you waited for the shot and drink you ordered, you glanced back at the table, you could see Jerry and Philip talking it away, and Chelsea had her hand still on his knee, you saw her laugh and bring her hand up in the moment to rub at his arm, and Philip smiled at her, you looked away.

You hated that your teeth gritted at the sight, the shot came with the drink and you downed it, shaking your head at the burn, you had no place in his life other than a casual fuck and some flirting, you didn't have the right to feel jealous. Maybe he was getting bored of you, you knew sooner or later that would happen, although a part of you hoped maybe you'd be interesting to him for a little longer, but you knew damn well what you were stepping into, so you cocked a brow at yourself and decided that it was always better this way, there was no place in your life right now for a new relationship, even less with a flirt like him.

Another glance their way, they were still talking, smiling, chuckling. Did all of Philip's ex girlfriends look like Victoria Secret's models? Did they even notice you weren't there? Your eyes pulled away, you hated this, when you arrived at the bar you were relieved that he hadn't invited anyone else, even if he had told you you were the only one he invited, you kind of forgot about that in your little nervous moment. 

But now it was actually happening, the thing you always feared would happen with new people, being left aside while the others had fun and you felt utterly ignored, it always made you feel as if people didn't care about you, because you didn't feel included, it was childish really, you were older now, you didn't need to feel included and seen all the time. But well, it would've been nice wouldn't it?

You fiddled with the straw of your drink, too deep in thought to notice the tall blonde figure approaching from the table and standing besides you. Chelsea ordered a drink and leaned against the bar facing you.

-Soo...- she sung- You're Philip's new girl huh?-

She gave you a cocky closed smile, it was as she were already mocking you with a single question, fuck it was high school all over again, you hated it.

-Well I wouldn't say that...- you shrugged faintly as she stood there, still waiting for an answer- I mean i don't think we're dating like you used to date him.-

She smiled and scoffed as if you were making a joke.

-Of course not- she said, almost friendly- We were really all over each other, could barely contain ourselves when we were together...- another smile, this one smug but short- Too bad he had to settle for less...- she raised her brows and looked you up and down- Or well, more...

The bitch smirked like he had just won a medal, did she just fucking fat shame you? Really? That's where she was going? You blinked before raising a brow at her, maybe it was the alcohol, but you were not about to be put down by Walmart Regina George.

-Well yes,- you said, looking through her thick skull- More brains and personality seems like something I'd settle for.-

She seemed shocked for only a moment, her smile going away to leave an agape mouth, and her eyes glaring at you in a competitive way you were not interested in taking part of, she flipped her hair back and tilted her head, her fake demeanor back up again.

-Oh honey don't fool yourself...- she tilted her head- Philip doesn't care about brains and personality- 

Another mocking smile and raised brows, a gesture that read "i am better than you and i will rub it all over your face", once again you were deciding whether you wanted to laugh or scoff, but before you could do either, you saw Jerry walk to you, barely stopping next to Chelsea.

-Cmon, we're leaving.- he said, he seemed angry.

-What?- she protested.

But he didn't stay, he walked past you, pacing away to the door, and Chelsea followed behind, not before throwing another very mature glare at you, leaving you slightly confused at the sudden change of plans from them, but not unhappy at it.

Philip's POV:

His night was very much ruined about when he saw Jerry approach them, he was incredibly wrong though, because hey, there was more: His fucking ex girlfriend decided to pop by as well.

If he hadn't been drunk, he would've probably processed the moment a little faster before the one person he actually wanted there practically ran away to the bar. He hadn't seen Jerry since fucking high school and he couldn't really remember how long it had been since he broke up with Chelsea, but of course they had to show up tonight of all nights.

The fact that they were dating was the least of Philip's concerns in that moment, he never cared for Chelsea too much, nor for anyone else for that matter, she was just hot and touchy, and he had liked that, now it was just repelling. And they wouldn't fucking leave too, he tried to smile politely, tried to think of a way to make them leave as soon as she put her hand on his knee, he didn't want it there, and he wanted you sitting back next to him, he knew that wouldn't happen until Jerry was gone, lucky for Philip, Jerry was a piece of shit.

-That girl you brought looks good man,- he nudged him in the arm with a smile- Can i have her when you get bored?-

Philip shot him a glare with pinched brows, he knew that was Jerry only half joking, how did he not ever realize how big of a douchebag this guy was?

-What the fuck did you just say?- at this point, Philip's drunkenness was finally coming in handy, he would've probably said that sober as well though.

Jerry raised his hands in defense, but still with a teasing expression drawn on him.  
-Im joking dude, yknow how you are you and your "conquests",- he smirked- How do you think Chelsea bumped into me huh?-

Philip felt dumbfounded, he felt angry and insulted and he felt protective of her, that last feeling was a bit new to him, he remembered her telling him how bad Jerry had made her feel, and now he didn't remember her, not even a bit. Philip remembered feeling so guilty when she told him how much the pigtails nickname bothered her, and he stopped it immediately, he actually thought it was kinda cute, but the cringe on her face when he said it was enough for him to stop. 

-She's not a fucking piece of meat. And you knew her in high school, you were the piece of shit that made fun of her.- Philip's voice was accusing, his index finger pointing at him.

Now Jerry had gotten the memo of Philip's attitude towards her, his face was growing shocked, and he leaned back a bit.

-Wow hey calm down, you're really pent up on her huh?- he scoffed as if Philip wasn't serious.

-Yeah i am, so you better watch your fucking mouth.- he stated, warning him.

He was taken aback for a moment as he said that, as if he were saying something out loud he wasn't supposed to, or better said, admitting something he wasn't supposed to. But he was very keen on either getting Jerry to leave, or punch him out of the bar like he had done with Nick.

-What the fuck is up with you? Calm down i was just joking, if her pussy is that good then okay fine...-

Philip's fist slammed on the table in an effort to not slam it on the guy's nose, they both flinched at the sudden action, but Philip's frown and darkened glared stayed on Jerry, the booth next to them stopped talking, but only for a moment.

-Say that again and I'll break your fucking face.-he raised a warning brow and an accusing finger at him.

He turned and downed the rest of his drink, already prepared to have Jerry want to fight him outside, but all he heard were muttered curses as he stood and paced to the door, Chelsea following him, Philip saw his baby frown as she followed them with her eyes, before he stood up himself, he took another look at her, up and down from the boots on her legs, the extent of them, to the hem of that pretty black jean skirt and up to her poker face, her cheeks tainted in red from the alcohol and the heat of the stuffed bar, he wanted to kiss them so bad and then trail down to her lips before resuming his way down on your body.

He blinked and widened his eyes at himself.

My baby??

Since when was she his baby? He did love calling her baby when he was on top of her making her whimper and moan, but he had never done that outside the bedroom, even less in a caring, lovingly way, even less as he wished he could kiss her cheeks because they were so soft and made her giggle with the hair of his mustache.

Fuck she's cute when she giggles.

Your POV:

When you glanced back in the direction of the booth, Philip was walking over wearing a tense jaw but soft eyes, looking romcom movie scene handsome in between the people, he gave you a smirk, leaning next to you in the bar.

-What was that about?- you asked, cocking your head behind you.

Philip shrugged a bit, you could tell he was buzzed.  
-He was being a dickhead.- he smiled- And I'd rather be with you, you're not a dickhead...- he slurred a bit the last part, but his smile stayed.

Your eyes widened a bit, twitching around his face, finding his eyes, noticing how he looked down at you, so he didn't actually want them there, he wanted you there. A smile formed on your lips, a bit of relief coming to you knowing he wasn't bored of you yet, because you weren't bored of him yet.

-You wanna get out of here?- he said with a pinched brow.

You nodded and finished your drink in two long sips, you were taking out your card when Philip put an arm in front of you and placed his on the bar, you protested the whole time and he just laughed, in the end you simply rolled you eyes and stuffed the card back in your pocket.

Philip suggested you also walked the way back, and you did, the night was cold but it was fine, you kept glancing back behind you every few minutes, it was a safe town but it was just a habit. He kept his hand on your lower back for a while, as you walked around with no rush at all, you looked at the houses, all decorated for Halloween, carved pumpkins arranged at the steps of most houses.

-Fuck i miss trick or treating, i miss Halloween parties- he almost groaned in a childlike manner-They were so much more fun than regular parties...- he said matter of factly.

-Really?- you looked at the big pumpkin in one of the houses.

-Yeah, don't you agree?- he looked down at you.

You shrugged, looking down as you kept walking.  
-I haven't really been to any- you almost mumbled.

-Why not?- Philip's brows furrowed in curiosity.

-Well,- you took a deep breath- I always felt like I'd be teased or laughed at for my costume, since i already was in school with normal clothes, girls can be mean- you explained, cocking a brow- I didn't get invited to many of them anyways...- 

You tried shaking it off as if it were nothing, but the truth was, although girls at your school didn't actually say mean things to you, they had a more passive aggressive way of teasing, and you honestly didn't know which one was worse, they'd give you side eyes and giggle between them, or ask you weird questions like why did you never hung out with anyone. You were sure if you showed up in a costume of any sorts, it would only make it worse, so you never really liked the idea of dressing up for Halloween as an adult.

-Maybe cuz you're a nerd- Philip huffed a chuckle.

You knew he was a bit tipsy, but surely he had to be sober enough to know that was a shitty comment. Your feet came to a stop and you looked up at him with a stern look on your eyes, he looked back at you, the smile on his face dissipating when he saw your expression.

-That's not very funny...- you shook your head.

He turned to face you fully, his lips parted and his brow fell with guilt and regret.

-Sorry...i meant like, the Star Wars thing...- he tried explaining but quickly stopped himself- Im sorry, I didn't know...-

You understood he didn't know, you weren't hurt or anything, you knew he didn't do it on purpose.

-It's okay....now you know.- you nodded and gave him a closed smile, then you resumed your walking- I'll give you a pass cause it's your birthday- you joked, he smiled again.

-Is it already?- his brows came up like those of a child.

A small laugh escaped you as you pulled out your phone, it was 1 am, you turned the screen his way and showed him.

-Happy birthday!- you sung, smiling and placing the phone back on your pocket.

His smile grew with the glimmer on his eyes, he walked closer, the quiet of the street letting you hear the slow but loud steps he took, your eyes moving upwards as he got closer, for a second or two before his mouth came down to catch yours, you relished in the aura of the moment, quiet dark streets at 1 am, a breeze in the air that made your noses cold, a mixture of relaxation and sleepiness from the alcohol and going out, and that something that moved with the cold air around you, that something that kept your lips tugged into a small faint smile the whole time you were around him, even if he wasn't saying anything, you felt the sway of his body when he walked with his hands on his pockets, you took in and admired the faint street lights on his features, his aquiline nose and beauty marks standing out, he was so good looking, stupid good looking.

His eyes were trained on yours when he encased your bottom lip between his, kissing you deeply, his head tilting just slightly to better take you in, you moved your lips with his, tasting them, memorizing their plush, his hand moved around your waist to pull you closer against his chest, your hands went up to tangle at the ends of his hair and your tongue swiped over his bottom lip to later nibble on it, god you would straight up eat it if you could, the bastard had amazing lips. He hummed in your mouth, arms roaming your sides, tongue memorizing yours, all the tension that had built up back at the bar being translated by your mouths into a wet, steady and deep dance.

You felt his hands rub at your lower back and then extend down to your ass, making him lean over you more and tipping your body backwards as his hands grabbed your ass and gave it a squeeze. A smile spread in between kisses when he growled against your mouth, he pulled away and in a swift movement you barely got to process he wrapped an arm around your thighs and threw you over his shoulders, you gasped and gripped at his shoulders for balance.

-What're you doing?!- you squirmed over him, trying to look at him.

Philip laughed and you heard, and felt, a slap in your butt. You gasped, your body flinching at the contact from his palm, your eyes wide like plates, you tried to jump off of him as he walked, this only gained you a tighter hold from him, and another slap in the ass, you weren't complaining though.

He had clearly not sobered up nearly enough, you were taken aback a bit, a little by his unexpected action, but mostly at how effortlessly he was carrying you, he kept walking with you on his shoulder the last three blocks until you stopped in front of his house, there he put you down and before you could protest or at least straighten your skirt, he plastered his smug smile on your face, kissing you once again, you hummed in defeat, and enchantment, and kissed him back.

-Let's go upstairs...- he murmured between kisses, pulling you by the waist.

-Hmm i don't think so, You're too drunk Altman...- you pulled away with raised brows.

-No im not!- he exclaimed, looking at you like you had just offended him.

-Really?- you questioned, he shrugged- Okay...I'll make you a deal, im gonna stand here and you're gonna do the sober walking test for me, if you get it right then we'll go upstairs.- 

You said this as you crossed your arms. Philip gave you an agreeing nod.

-Alright, bet.- he stated casually.

He turned to face away from you, and started walking heel to toe on a straight line until he reached the steps of his house, then he turned and walked to you, completing the walk perfectly, with and additional cocky spin at the end, a smirk appearing as he looked at you.

-Why am i not surprised that you know the movements from memory?- you squinted.

-Oh come on yes or no?- Philip frowned, insisting.

You sighed, biting your cheek to contain an eager smile, you took one last glance at him, his eyes didn't look droopy like at the bar, and they moved over your face, awaiting.

-Fine...- you huffed, exaggerating a bit, trying to be funny.

He flashed you a malicious but also lustful smile, and you saw him hunch over.

-Nonono dont pick me u...- he cut you off by lifting you over his shoulder again.

He laughed and you groaned at him, protesting and whining a bit before letting your body fall limp over his shoulder, he laughed yet again at your defeat and climbed up the steps like it was nothing, took his keys out like it was simply another Friday night, closed the door and carried you through the hallway and up the stairs.


	17. I’m Keeping These

He carried you all the way to his room, not once did he wobble or grunted with effort, you had to admit it was pretty damn hot, the guy was holding you like you were some light weight groceries.  
Once he entered his room, he turned around (you were still hanging over him) and locked the door and then finally he placed you back down, your skirt had rolled up again and your shirt was a loose mess.

You were about to ask what the hell was up with him when his hands grabbed at your waist and pinned you to the door, his lips back on yours, drawing sharp breaths, his body pressing against yours, feeling the width of his figure plaster over yours. He pulled off his jacket and shirt in two quick movements, pulling away to do so, your own jacket and top followed, he tossed them aside while he watched you look up at him with expecting dark eyes, and he dove forward again into your mouth, you exhaled a satisfied whine and reached up to tangle your hands on his hair, but he was quick to gently snatch your wrists and pin them up over your head.

-Be quiet...- he whispered as he dragged his lips from your ear to your neck.

Just then you happened to remember his mom was probably sleeping somewhere on the first floor, you pressed your lips together, hoping to be able to keep it together.

That hope was pretty much gone when Philip's lips sucked on your sweet spot and a small whimper came up your throat, you choked it out, feeling Philip smile against your skin, you wanted to punch him in the arm, he was going to have his fair share of fun with this. You knew it as soon as one of his hands left your wrists, still very much pinned since his hands were gigantic and he didn't need both, he kneaded one of your breasts over the lace of your bra, twirling his thumb over the nipple just a bit before going down to the hem of your skirt and caressing your thigh, his mouth now at the crook of your neck sucking and nibbling. 

He shifted his knee to spread your legs a little further for him, his hand went under your skirt, running his knuckles up your inner thigh until they reached your warm and wet covered center, he rubbed two light digits up and down your slit over your panties and your breath hitched.

-Hmm have you been this wet all night for me?- he smiled against your skin.

You bit your lip and nodded, his words sending shivers down your spine, you bucked your hips forward against his fingers and leaned your head back, wanting him to give you more, his hand let go of your wrists and your eyes opened, but he didn't stop, you slowly lifted your hand to rest on the back of his neck, encouraging his kisses down to your collarbones, his free hand sneaked to your back and undid your bra rather quickly, you let go just enough to tug it off and place your hands back on his neck to pull him back to you, taking his wet lips in your mouth as his naked chest came to contact with yours.

You wanted to press your thighs for pressure but since you couldn't you swayed your hips yet again, and that was when his fingers left you and his hands twirled your legs for you to turn around, guided by the haze of lust you obeyed and pressed your torso onto the door, arching your back just a little to bring your butt out. A hot breath hit the back of your shoulder and his hands came up your thighs again, bringing them to hike up your skirt over your butt and to your waist, he fondled and squeezed at it.

Although you wouldn't ask for it, you wanted him to spank you again, you bit your lip knowing he couldn't since you both needed to be-

*SLAP*

Well, nevermind...

You yelped and turned to give him a glare, he kept fondling your ass and caressing over the now red spot.

-You said be quiet!- you whispered.

-I told you to be quiet...- he teased. 

You rolled your eyes and then rolled them again when you felt his fingers on your pussy, putting pressure over your now wet panties, your nipples hardening against the cold wood of the door, the bulge on his jeans pressing against your ass.

-Look at that...you wet through your panties...- he chuckled devilishly, his hands came up your ass and to your sides, the light warm touch making your breath hitch, he reached your breasts and cupped them on his hands.

You could feel him looking at you, you knew he was probably staring up and down, relishing in the way your ass looked and felt against his crotch, and the way your body obeyed to him, keeping you in this position, waiting for him to guide you on your next move, because you knew you'd like it, even though you'd love to see his beautiful face right now, you trusted he'd make you feel good.

His fingers pinched your nipples, you gasped lightly but didn't make a noise, you knew he was trying to test you, his fingers came back down to fumble with the elastic of your panties, he tugged down, taking them off slowly, you turned to look down at him as they reached your calf and you raised your feet to step off of them, his hand trailed up your leg again as you saw him come back up, his eyes finding yours and sharing the darkness of heavy dilated pupils, he held the delicate thin lace in between his fingers, with his eyes still on yours, he lifted it to his nose and sniffed them, when he was satisfied he hummed and stuffed them in the back pocket of his pants.

Fuuck me...

You gave him a quizzical look, although you knew what he was doing, your eyes hazy and your breathings deep and loud as you saw the gorgeous figure of the broad man that just stole your panties in the dim light of the room.

-I'm keeping these- he said with a smirk- As a birthday present...- 

-You're welcome...- you smiled.

The lump on his throat bobbed as he spun you back around to kiss you, wrapping an arm around your waist and walking you backwards until you hit the bed and he lifted you only to let you fall on it. At this point you were dripping, and he was hard, his erection pressing on his pants, which only made your core tingle even more, you sat up, eager to finally ease him off of those fucking jeans, he only watched you, letting your hands unzip him and tug everything down at once, he hissed through gritted teeth when his cock sprung up free.

You licked your lips, taking him in your hand, smiling a bit at the size and length as you stroked him slowly, a drop of precum leaking at the pink head, you were still not getting used to how big he was, your mouth watering and your jaw aching at the sole idea of taking him in, but fuck did you want to. You took the tip in your mouth, sucking lightly before pressing your tongue and rubbing it on the underside of his cock, looking up at him with doe eyes, you found his mouth parted, his eyelids fighting hard to stay open as he watched you slowly bob your head to take his cock while your hand stroke it, your tongue swirled over the head and he bucked his hips forward, you hummed in approval.

His hand gathered your hair and you relaxed your jaw, taking him further in, hollowing your cheeks, he muttered a "fuck" followed by your name as he slowly swayed his hips forward into your mouth, you held onto his thighs for leverage and looked up at him for a split second before joining the increasing rhythm of his thrusts as he fucked your mouth.

-You look so good with daddy's cock in your mouth baby...- he moaned quietly.

You couldn't help but look up at him again when you heard the nickname, his head tilted, mouth open and brows pinched, eyes closing shut as he tried to watch you, you were surprised yes, no one had ever asked you to call them daddy and even less called themselves daddy, but a tingle shot down to your center at the words, at the sight of his hair hanging loose as his chest heaved and tensed with you on your knees taking his dick and drooling all over it. He was daddy alright.

You hummed on his cock, angling your head to take his length in your mouth fully, feeling it pressing at the back of your throat, you wanted to show him how much you liked it, he tried to choke out a moan, his hips bucking forward before he pulled away, taking his dick out of your mouth with a pop. His hands let go of your hair to grip your jaw and kiss you, he pulled away and reached to the nightstand drawer before you stopped him.

-I'm back on the pill- you stated, reaching to grab his arm- You don't need that...- 

He turned to look at you, his eyes either twitching or squinting, you couldn't tell in the darkness of the room, as you waited for either an answer or a reaction, a reaction came, he grabbed you by the waist and turned you around to kneel you in front of the headboard in a quick movement, you gasped and turned to look at him when you felt him kiss your shoulder and down your back as his hand stroke your waist and his other hand pumped his cock.

-I'm gonna fuck you so hard...- he breathed against your hair, straightening his posture again.

Chills ran through your body at the anticipation, making your breaths hoarse and your pussy dripping wet for him, your arms reached for the headboard and he guided your hips back onto his cock, pressing at your entrance and sliding in slowly, he grunted and sighed as he thrusted into you, adjusting to the tightness without the layer of a condom. As soon as he was stretching and pumping into you, you knew you wouldn't be able to keep quiet, you looked down at your hands gripping the headboard, your eyes rolling back as he snapped his hips forward again and again, a short whimper came out your throat and you bit your lip.

His rhythm grew faster and harder, one hand on your hip and the other on your shoulder, pulling you back to join his thrusts, the sound of skin slapping growing louder made you nervous, but his cock was pounding into you so hard, stretching you out and plunging so deep into your insides you could barely think, trying incredibly hard not to whine and scream his name. Unfortunately you couldn't keep it together for too long before a whine slid out followed by a moan through pressed lips that tried to stop it.

The hand that grasped at your shoulder came up to hold onto the headboard, interlacing his fingers with yours, taking you by surprise, his other hand wrapped around your neck and pulled you back, squeezing until your mouth opened, the shortage of air sending unexpected pleasure to your core, loving the way he had a hold on you as he fucked you senseless, your eyes looked up to meet his as he leaned over by your side, hips snapping forward and splitting you in half with his huge dick, but all you felt was that, the shocks of lustful electricity prickling up your belly, the rest seemed to dissipate with your eyes sharing each other's hazy and dark stares, sharing pleasure with no care of how much the bed was swinging back and forth or how loud your panting was becoming.

He squeezed harder at your neck and your eyes rolled back, fighting hard to focus on containing the noises that wouldn't come out even if you wanted them to with his long fingers on your windpipe, your tits bounced in synchrony with the waves of hair falling on his face and his lips rested on your temple, eyes closed as he fucked you.

-Do you like that baby?- he panted- You like me chocking you while i fuck your little cunt?-

You made an effort, you really did, for anything to form on your face, a nod, a strangled small yes, anything, but all you managed was a tiny ridiculous noise and for your tongue to start sticking out over your bottom lip, you must've looked dumb and desperate, but being so close to your orgasm with his dick up in your cervix rearranging your guts, you could not care less, you just wanted more, you wanted him to keep plunging into you and fill you up until your thighs went numb.

His hold gave in just a little for you to reply to him, and you gained enough control over your eyes to find his and give him your best pleading look.

-Faster daddy...- your voice a thin whine.

-Fuckk that's right.- he hissed.

His hold on you came back with the speed of his thrusts, quickly becoming erratic as your body jerked back and forth, hair falling in your face and sweat forming in your back as you heard him grunt and choke for air, your eyes shut close as you let yourself go, tipping over the edge and feeling your thighs shake with white pleasure.

-Fuck I'm...I'm cumming!- you gasped quietly.

You felt his hips buck hard and impossibly fast as he took you through your orgasm and reached his, he thrusted in twice before his legs tensed and he searched for your lips, kissing them to silence his groans as he filled you up with hot cum.

He kept sliding in and out, the hold on your neck loosened and he rubbed circles around it with his thumb, your breaths were deep but becoming steadier with his as he brought your jaw up to kiss you, it was a soft, sweet kiss, like the one you had coming back home, and when he broke it, giving you one more peck before, he looked into your eyes as he caressed your waist down to your belly fondly.

-You okay?- he whispered, looking down at your neck.

-Mhmm- you swallowed.

He smiled at you and you returned it, and when he straightened up and pulled out of you with a small hiss, you felt hot and ecstatic in a relaxing way, but you also felt a bit cold and bummed at the loss of his touch, wanting to feel him against you again already even as his seed dripped down your slit. 

Philip laid down, you were kneeling besides him on the bed running your thumbs under your eyes to check for runny mascara that was in fact, runny. You must've looked like a full on fucked-into-oblivion mess, you chuckled.

-What?- he whispered, you looked down to find him staring at you with a sweaty chest and sleepy eyes.

You shook your head lightly.  
-Nothing, i must be a post sex mess- you laughed.

-You look beautiful...- 

A teasing tilt went his way, thinking he was being sarcastic, but when you looked at his face you found that he looked completely serious, he was looking up at you with care in his eyes...care? No that couldn't be, maybe just attraction, of course he thought you were beautiful otherwise he wouldn't keep up this thing with you. You shook your head at him, sighing.

-I should go...- 

-Why?- he lifted himself up on his forearm.

-I have work tomorrow, it's Friday- 

He leaned his head forward and pouted, showing you his best puppy face, you rolled your eyes but laughed at the gesture, he held it there until you shook your head no, to which he extended his arm.

-Just lay down a little, cmon it's not that late...- he said.

You huffed and let yourself fall over his arm, he drew you in closer and stroked your thigh, you hated that he was so warm and big and cozy, he was already making you want to fall asleep.

-Call in sick...- he murmured.

-I haven't even worked there for a month Philip I can't call in sick- you laughed.

You heard him groan faintly, you chuckled at how childish he was being for no reason. He sighed and wiggled himself down so that his face was at level with your neck, he hugged you and nuzzled his nose on your shoulder, and then you felt his lips leaving small but growing kisses, slowly moving up your neck as he hummed. You knew damn well what he was doing, you also knew damn well it was working and you wanted to scream at how irresistible this man was, what even was the effect he had on you that you considered calling Erica at 1 am to tell her you weren't going to work tomorrow because you had a purring giant kissing your neck.

-What time do you go in? I'll wake you up...- he said right next to your earlobe, his hot breath sending shivers through you.

That's not such a bad idea actually...

God what is with you and this man?? Are you still drunk or something??

You were very much not drunk, you were just mewling at him, you bit your lip, sighing to yourself, hoping that your assumptions were wrong and Philip wasn't the type to sleep through all of his alarms.

-Altman i swear if i miss work...- you teased

-I know i know... you'll grab my ears and drag me to my mom- 

He laughed against your neck when you giggled, both your chests shaking and smiles stretching as he moved to hug you from behind, his arms so big they easily half your torso or more, you sighed in defeat and exhaustion.

-I have to be up at 7...- you muttered.

You felt the victorious smirk appear on his face, and he hugged you even tighter, kissing your cheek, you felt a wetness in between your legs and remembered you still had to clean yourself up, you groaned.

-Bathroom?- you asked.

He pointed to the other door in the room, you got up and entered, looking briefly in the mirror before peeing and cleaning up, you also washed your face, using soap was far from ideal but it was better than looking like Captain America's boyfriend. When you walked back out Philip laid on the right side of the bed, you wondered if he had left you the left side, no there was no way he actually remembered that, just a small coincidence that's all it was.

You let yourself finally fall between the blankets and rest, the mattress shifted and a strong hand pulled you back into his chest, nuzzling his nose on your hair and kissing your shoulder, you frowned to yourself, Philip Altman being a clingy cuddler? 

That took you by surprise, sure the first time he had stayed the night he had done it as well, and the time after that, but both times you were having a rough day, and you thought it was just because of that, at this point into your little affair, you didn't think he'd keep cuddling you, but it was nice, you did like cuddling.

-Never took you for a cuddling guy Altman...- you teased.

He didn't really say anything, and for a second you thought he had fallen asleep, since his hold had loosened, but a minute later he spoke.

-Goodnight-

Your smirk disappeared at the sudden blankness in his tone, your feelings a little more shaken than your mind should've allowed them to be, had you said something wrong? He wasn't letting go, maybe he simply didn't hear you, you were both really tired.

-Goodnight...- you said, a little sweeter than you wanted to admit.


	18. Sleepy Head

Philip's POV:

The alarm lured him awake, he turned and reached his phone to tap on the screen with the arm that wasn't under her as to not wake her up yet, she still had half an hour to sleep before seven, he had only scheduled an alarm earlier to make her coffee, an excuse for her to stay a little longer.

She was still deep in sleep after Philip slid his other arm from under her, he watched her snuggle against the pillow and relax when he took the blankets to tuck them around her, he remembered from the first time how she had been cold, and with one look out he window Philip knew today would be cold as well. Yesterday he took himself by surprise in more than one way, first at the bar, when his heart dropped as she got up and left because she felt uncomfortable, then later when they kissed on the sidewalk, he relished in the feeling of her body under his touch, he loved it, he loved to hold her in between his arms and loved the way he could feel her melt under his lips. And since he was on the subject of holding, he reminded himself of what she had told him last night.

Never took you for a cuddling guy Altman...

The problem with that statement was...he wasn't a cuddling guy. Correction, he was a cuddling guy, yes, but not with anyone, not that needy at least, he had been cuddling and nuzzling his nose in her hair every chance he had when they laid in bed together, he didn't even snuggle Tracy that much, and he had loved Tracy, or maybe he hadn't, he was still a bit confused about it. It had been 5 minutes before he realized he was still staring at her, her chest rising and falling in deep, very faint breaths, but he could keep on looking far more.

No, he didn't love Tracy.

If he did maybe he wouldn't be so smothered in lust for her, it was hard to keep focus on anything else but the shockwaves she sent through him when he was with her, or even when he wasn't, with her voice, with the memory of her, the images of her eyes rolling and her head shaking at him would replay a few times during his day and make him grin to himself with electricity bubbling on his gut.

He licked his lips, he wanted to kiss her again already, and to stop himself he forced his body to get up and take him to the bathroom, leaving her to sleep peacefully. He threw in some sweatpants and grabbed a shirt to throw on later after he took a very much needed shower, he always hated the bathroom on his room didn't have a shower or tub, that way he could just go in and out naked without having to worry about anyone but him seeing the raging morning erection.

I should've just rented an apartment...

That wasn't really a viable option considering the money he had left since he decided to stay here, he'd be dead before admitting this to his family, but before his dad died, his bank account had been laying at an embarrassing low of 700 bucks. That was it. And then Tracy and him broke up, and of course it was worse, he hated the little help she gave him anyways, the constant voice in his head in the tone of his sister Wendy pushing him to try and do better, and scolding him for making up the excuses he did.

But after what happened with Tracy, and after his dad was gone and a small but still there part of the business came to him, he took a deep breath and decided he was done. He was a failure and a disappointment, and possibly also a gold digging slut, but not anymore, he was planting his feet here until Wendy finally shut up inside his head. And when she appeared, with her own troubles so similar to his, he felt empathetic of her, just two family youngest that felt like complete losers, maybe that's why he liked her a little more than his previous "conquests", because he felt a little less alone in his adulting failure with her.

He glanced back at her one more time, the blanket snugged her tight in the bed and her hair messy as she slept, he smirked and closed the door behind him slowly, he had about 20 minutes more before having to wake her up, and he scurried quickly to the bathroom before his mom, if she was even awake, could notice him. Stepping inside, he closed the door and reached inside the shower to turn on the cold water, he'd need it if he was to get rid of the morning wood.

He had been getting a lot of those since he started seeing her, and as much as he loved jerking off thinking of her and her naked body, he wished he didn't have to do it in the shower of his childhood home and holding back moans and grunts and, occasionally, her name.

This time, although the water was ice cold on his skin earning gasps and sharp breaths from him, it didn't seem to be enough as he looked down and his dick was very much still standing, a bit of twitching being the only reaction the cold water had caused.

He wrapped his hand around his throbbing length and gave it a light squeeze, the sensation instantly making him moan, he pressed his lips together and started stroking, hard and increasingly fast, planting his other hand against the shower wall to lean over it, his head hung low and he closed his eyes, running his thumb over the precum leaking pink head of his cock, and pumped faster, his mind replaying her moans and whines, the little squeaks she let out when he pounded her hard enough that any other sound would choke on her throat, his jaw hung open now, quiet moans being drawn as he fucked his hand with the memory of her warm tight walls squeezing and spasming around him as he took her to her climax.

-Fuuck, yes yes...- he mumbled in his daze as he got closer and closer, the sound of his fist hitting the base of his cock becoming louder.

Faster daddy...

-Shhit!- he hissed, his cock twitched with that last replay of her voice, grunts coming out of his clenched jaw as he spurt white ropes of cum down his fingers and to the shower floor.

Now he could finally relax a bit more, he panted for a few seconds, letting his release wash over him and leave through the drain, and resumed his shower. Once he was done with that he leaped down the stairs with a refreshed mood, after all it was his birthday, he had sex last night, and there was a gorgeous woman on his bed, things could be worse. He started the coffee maker, checking the time on his watch, it was five past seven, he smiled to himself at how well he had managed time and climbed back upstairs.

She was still very much asleep, she had only turned around and was now facing the opposite side, where Philip had slept, although he usually slept on the left, but he had left her that side last night, he didn't mind. He slowly laid on his side next to her and placed a kiss on her cheek, rubbing his nose against it, she shifted slightly, pinching her brows and groaning softly.

-Morning sleepy head, time to wake up...-

She yawned against the pillow, her arms slid under it, gripping it and exposing her naked shoulders, she groaned again.

-What time is it?- she mumbled, her lips barely moving.

-It's ten past seven...- he said, looking down at her, watching how her features moved.

-Mmm...- she sighed.

He huffed a chuckle at her lack of energy and leaned forward to kiss her cheek again, moving down to her shoulder, he tried containing the urge to suck and taste the skin, but he couldn't, and he left two wet kisses before crawling out of the bed to his closet, he took a military green shirt out, he wasn't totally fond of it, he thought pine green looked better on him, so she could keep it if she wanted to.

She had wrapped the blanket around her again as she tried to wake up, he sat at the edge of the bed and left the shirt besides her, running a few fingers through her hair as he admired her eyelids fluttering open.

-Coffee?- 

She nodded, looking at him through heavy eyes, he smirked.

-Alright,- he said, standing up- There's some waiting for you downstairs, I'll be there, take your time- he smiled at her before leaving.

It didn't take her too long, by 7:30 or so Philip heard her and then saw her coming into the kitchen, she was wearing his shirt like a dress, it being so big it reached her mid thighs, and she was wearing a pair of what he figured were his socks, since they were so huge on her feet she had to cuff them, he smirked at her messy appearance being half his fault, and lifted a hot mug to her.

-What's so funny?- she said, leaning against the counter.

-Nice walk of shame- he teased.

-Ha ha...- she mocked, taking the mug to her lips- I borrowed some socks, hope you don't mind...-

Philip shook his head, taking a better look at her, from the messy hair to the round cheeks, a small red hickey on her neck from his doing, he looked down at her legs, frowning, and then smirking

-Did you put something underneath my shirt?- he liked empathizing that it was his shirt she was wearing.

-No, you took my panties remember?- she tilted her head- Why?-

Philip looked at her, and smirked bigger at how she didn't realize that he very much did not live alone in this house. But he'd savor the situation a little more, have a little fun.

-Nothing, just wanted to see if you remembered...- his voice turned velvety.

She bit his cheek and took a long sip of her mug, not saying another word, but he didn't mind it, he liked just watching her, and he knew she could see how he watched her attentively, what neither of them knew was what lied behind Philip's gaze.  
Philip turned to the toaster, putting the mug down and grabbing the toasted bread along with butter, cream cheese, jam, and peanut butter, and placed them on the kitchen island besides her, he wasn't having any, he'd have some cereal later maybe, but he thought since she had a little time she might want to eat.

-Thanks for waking me up...- she said, searching for his eyes, he looked down at her.

-No problem- he smiled.

She lowered the mug on the counter top, looking up at him with a glint in her eyes, he wondered if it was the haziness of the early morning in them, but it wasn't, they always looked up at him like that, they were beautiful. Her hands rested on his chest for a moment, those shockwaves he recognized coursing through his arms and torso again, fuck he was hot for her, she moved them up and came closer, standing up on her tip toes to reach him, he parted his lips, waiting for her.

-Happy birthday...- she repeated, smiling seductively.

He returned the smile and she kissed it, his lips closed against hers in the start of a gentle kiss, her mouth tasted like coffee, but her lips tasted minty from the toothpaste, her hands were on his slightly damp hair, and his hands wrapped tightly around her waist with that same desire to hold her from last night, feeling the cotton fabric of his shirt around her body. And in the midst of this kiss, he found himself wondering which he had liked best, this one, or the one from last night at the sidewalk. No, he just really liked her lips.

He pulled her closer, deepening the kiss just a bit more, giving her tongue access to his mouth and nuzzling his nose on her cheek, he would've kept going, shit he would've lifted her and fucked her over the kitchen island, but the sound of steps coming down the stairs caught his attention, and he pulled away with a devilish smirk, her eyes were a bit quizzical as he took his cup of coffee on his hand and stuffed the other in his pocket, leaning back against the counter as his mom appeared through the kitchen's archway.

The interaction, or lack there of, was hilarious, and Philip had to take a very long sip of coffee to keep himself from bursting into laughter. His mother stood on the archway, the initial smile she was giving him dissipating into a half surprised and half confused expression as she looked between him and her with wide eyes, but not half as wide as her eyes, opening like plates, her cheeks turning bright red just like her other cheeks were last night, realizing not only was she standing next to him, she was standing with his clothes, next to him, completely naked underneath. Philip stayed there looking between the two women, until he could not longer keep it together, and his grin turned into a small wicked giggle, and he saw her bite her lip, she wanted to laugh as well, he knew it.

-Morning Mrs Altman...- she said, clearing her throat when her voice came out in a whisper.

-Morning sweetheart- his mom blinked and gave her a small smile.

Philip knew his mom wasn't mad, if anything she was surprised, hell he was surprised she didn't hear them, must've been those sleeping pills she had been taking, worse case scenario she'll start talking about Philip's old sexual habits during puberty.

Shit.

He didn't think this through.

-Morning mom...- he said, hoping he could distract her, she gave him a wide smile and walked over with open arms.

-Happy birthday Philip!- he welcomed her hug with a smile and felt her kiss his cheek- I told your brother to come for lunch and we can celebrate, oh honey you're more than welcome to come if you want-

She told this to the half naked front door neighbor standing besides her, who gave her a polite smile.

-I have work but thank you Mrs Altman...- she said.

-I think it's fair to say you can start calling me Hillary- his mom raised her brows at her in a friendly and slightly joking manner.

She laughed politely, red draping up her cheeks as she stuffed her face with toast, most likely not wanting to keep up the uncomfortable interaction with his mom, Philip on his part still had the oh so fun smirk on his lips, his expression that of a kid watching mischief caused by him unfolding, she caught his playful eyes and rolled hers, his smirk grew, but not for long.

-Im glad you're finally starting to change your ways,- she said, walking over to the coffee pot- Aftercare is just as important as sex you know, specially when you're as rough as you are...-

-Mom!- he shot him his best wide eyed glare at her, which she ignored completely.

-You know he got that from his father, that and the size, not many women can handle the size...- she gestured casually looking at the smirking woman in front of him.

-OKAY! That's it, bye bye...- he practically shooed her out of the room, his hands on her arms, his cheeks growing hot and red.

She shrugged and raised a hand, shooting him an apologetic look before walking out of the kitchen, coffee in hand. Philip followed her out of the room with his glare, he thought his eyes were shooting straight through her but in reality he looked like he just saw a ghost, his eyes wide in shock and his mouth parted, his stance shifted. He turned with a sigh to find her containing a giggle so hard her nostrils were flaring.

-Having fun?- he said, hands on his hips.

She snorted and raised a hand to cover her face for a moment, but he had to contain a smile.

-Very much yes...- she nodded.

He bit his cheek trying not to smile himself, her eyes glimmered when she smiled, he liked that, he liked her eyes, having them look up at him when she had his cock in her mouth, and when she didn't too.

-Do you want me to drive you?- he changed the subject.

-I live across the street- she frowned.

-To work...- he walked closer, tilting his head.

She held his gaze as he came closer to her, her coffee mug sitting against her chest, he couldn't get enough of her looking up at him, she looked so cute it was irresistible. She shrugged.

-Nah, i still have to shower and get changed so it's okay- 

Just then he had the idea that he could've waited until she woke up and showered with her, he wanted to punch himself for being so stupid. If it were for him she wouldn't have even gone to work, but he was more than satisfied with her staying the night, he was loving her on his shirt with messed up hair and her panties on the back pocket of his jeans.

That was the thing lately with him, and it wasn't going unnoticed, he wanted more of her, he always wanted to talk a little longer, kiss her a few more times, stay in her bed another 10 minutes, have her for breakfast, lunch and dinner, he really couldn't get it all out once, couldn't take a break from her, he was always thinking about how smart she was, how she refused to get on the Porsche even though all Philip had gotten from that car were flirty smiles and compliments.

He was so drawn to her, as if something pulled from him, demanded him to be with her whenever she was near, a little tug that automatically made him walk over and talk, about whatever or whenever, she was so fun to talk to.

He hoped if one day the infatuation for her stopped, maybe they could still be friends.


	19. Infatuation

Your POV:

Your prayers had been heard and thankfully Philip did wake you up, you had your own alarm for 7:30 set already, but he woke you up, with a kiss on the cheek and everything, even a shirt, you were hesitant about grabbing socks, would that be a little too much? He did wake you up with a kiss and had coffee ready for you. Shuffling through his closet to find them, and also taking a look around, you noticed the man had good style, it almost surprised you.

Between the sleepiness of the early morning start, his shirt smelling so good and your lack of caffeine, you failed to remember you were on his house, and Mrs Altman, Hillary, was most certainly there, maybe it was your own habit of not having your family at home in the morning. You could feel Philip's mischievous grin when his mom walked in the kitchen, and to your own entertainment, Mrs Altman didn't fail to be Mrs Altman, and quickly Philip's smugness turned into embarrassment, and you were left laughing.

Your took a quick look around the room making sure you didn't forget anything, you had laid Philip's shirt neatly on his bed, along with his socks, you were sure although he probably liked seeing you on his shirt, he wouldn't want you to steal it from him, which was ironic, considering your panties were on the back pocket of his jeans.

As you stepped out into the hallway with last night's clothes, you heard another door being closed and turned to find Mrs Altman there, she smiled at you and raised her brows inquisitively, she was about about to enter the bathroom when you spoke.

-Mrs Altman...- she turned to face you- Um...my mom, she doesn't really know...- you gestured with your hands trying to figure out how to explain it to her.

Mrs Altman was a really nice, fun woman, but she was well known for saying things she wasn't supposed to, and although you knew your mom was essentially her best friend, you weren't exactly keen on her finding out you were sleeping with Philip Altman, the guy she thought was an eternal stoner teenager, if it were something else, maybe you wouldn't care, but you knew it wasn't, and you knew she would make a big deal about it, and have her eye right on Philip.

-Your secret's safe with me honey...- she winked at you, you gave her a thankful smile- And it's Hillary, none of that Mrs Altman nonsense, I am not that old- she cocked her head and stepped inside the bathroom.

You smiled to yourself, hoping that it wouldn't slip out of her when talking to your mom, you walked downstairs where Philip was waiting for you by the entrance, he smiled at you and opened the door, as you tried to step outside his arm slipped around your waist and turned you around.

-Ah ah ah...come here- he said, bringing his hand up to guide your chin up to meet his lips.

He kissed you slowly and paused, moving his palm to cup your face, you leaned into his touch, humming lightly into his lips. When the kiss stopped, he pulled away only a little, his thumb pressed over your bottom lip, his eyes traveling up from there to your eyes.

-I had fun last night...- he said softly, his eyes looking into yours, hazel and glinting.

-So did i...- you replied, trying to read that spark on his gaze.

That spark that grew as his mouth stretched into a closed smile, his thumb no longer over you lip, now just tracing lazy circles on your jaw, his hair was completely dry now, black waves falling beautifully framing his face, skin smooth and glowing, you were jealous of how effortlessly handsome he was, meanwhile your hair was a greasy tangled mess, and your skin must've been crusty or oily from the lack of skincare or any proper cleaning whatsoever.

He gave you his signature hug and kiss on the cheek before saying goodbye and watching you leave, you knew he did when you opened the door to your house and turned to catch a glimpse of him making sure you got home before you closed the door fully. You frowned to yourself but only momentarily before you realized you still had to go to work, and so you sneaked upstairs with your boots on your hand and no underwear under your skirt until you reached the bathroom, there you showered while you allowed yourself to imagine showering with Philip, have him rub soap all over you, maybe even lift you up and fuck you against the wall with that strength he held you up with last night. 

The mere thought of Philip in the shower was incredibly hot, his hair wet and plastering on his forehead, toned chest and arms dripping wet, lips and cheeks reddened from the hot steam, if you had had a little more time you sure would've rubbed one out to that thought, but that would have to wait.

Thankfully you weren't late, you even managed to dry your hair a bit more before leaving for work, trying to avoid getting a cold from the wet hair in the increasingly cold weather, the wind picking up as you walked and finishing up the hair drying for you. Although it was cold, you liked walking, and you liked this time of the year, the trees were orange and red and brown, and the leaves crunched under your feet, you couldn't really admire that while driving.

You honestly didn't get why he kept insisting on driving you, well, you knew why he was insisting, he wanted to take you on the Porsche, but why? You were already sleeping with him he didn't need to show off how big his dick was. Maybe he was insecure about it, although that didn't really fit, if something is big, it's big, there's no opinion on it, and he had a big dick, there's no way he didn't know that.

Why were you still thinking about his dick??

You shook your head rapidly at yourself before walking into the bakery, warmth and a vanilla like scent hitting your senses, you yawned, remembering how little you had slept, and smiled at Erica, who gave you some raised brows as she looked at you, your dark circles must've been huge for her to ask about your sleep.

-Long night?- she smiled.

You have no idea...

-Something like that- you said, thinking of how absolutely railed you had gotten- Is Louie in?-

-Oh yeah but he just got here, i think he had an order for a birthday cake for noon, so there's that...-

You mouthed an 'oh' as you tied your hair.

-Hey what did Philip want yesterday?- she asked, eyes curious.

-Oh nothing, he invited me to a bar for his birthday...-

-Really? With other friends?-

-Mm...-you thought back to Chelsea and Jerry- Not really, just me...-

She gasped dramatically and your eyes widened at her eagerness, her expression drawing excitement as she smiled wide.

-Oh you need to tell me everything! If you want i mean...- she shrugged.

You laughed, you hadn't really talked about Philip with anyone, it wasn't that big of a deal really, it wasn't like it was a secret relationship or something, just occasional sex, so it was fine, plus you liked Erica.

-Well we talked and drank, i don't know it was fun...- you shrugged.

-That's it??-

-Mm, no...Well we got really close at one point, his hand was on my thigh- Erica leaned on the counter as you spoke- But then his ex appeared, and totally ruined the mood...-

-Wait i thought you said he only invited you?-

-He did, she just kinda popped up at the bar and decided she was gonna sit next to him and call him cupcake- you fake gagged and Erica laughed- Then a guy from high school that I didn't like also came with her, and she followed me to the bar to fat shame me- you raised your brows and Erica mimicked you- But they left, i think Philip told them to, because the guy used to tease me-

-Aaaw that's nice- she tilted her head.

You chuckled.  
-I guess...- you said, thinking to yourself, that was nice, it was sweet even, you frowned and shook your head- Then we just...went back to his place- you said looking down.

-Ooohh, so that's why you're so tired i knew it!!- she smiled big at you and you blushed- You freaking stayed the night didn't you??-

-Yes, fine, i did...- you rolled your eyes smiling, feeling the red on your cheeks- He asked me to stay...- you shrugged.

-Aaaaww, that is so sweet oh my god- she pursed her lips, she looked so excited and thrilled, you couldn't help a laugh.

Erica's reactions to your talking made you feel so heard, she was actually so interested and invested in you and Philip for some reason, she wanted you to tell her everything and you honestly wanted to, it felt so nice having someone to actually share this stuff with, she already felt like your friend, you hoped the feeling was mutual because you started rambling and couldn't stop yourself.

-He insisted actually, after we...yknow...- she nodded- He suggested i call in sick, and when i told him I couldn't he offered to wake me up if i stayed, he was so...I don't know, soft and pouty about it, he was so cute, it was weird- you chuckled shaking your head a bit, and then bit your lip.

-Had he never done that before?- she asked, squinting at you.

-I mean we do cuddle sometimes after, but those times were both actually after something had happened to me and i was feeling kinda bummed, so i guess he was trying to be nice, he isn't an asshole, despite being a whole womanizer- you laughed.

You were both now in the kitchen on the back of the bakery, Erica stood besides the door incase she heard someone walk in, meanwhile you tied your apron and rolled up your sleeves, cuffing them tight to keep them from sliding.

-And what happened this morning? Did he bring you breakfast in bed?- she sung playfully and giggled.

You smiled at her, and then contained a bigger smile, biting your cheek from the inside as you thought about his little kiss on your cheek to wake you up, and borrowing his shirt and socks, the way he looked at you when he saw you in them, with caramel irises showcasing a reaction you couldn't yet read.

-Oh my god did he??- Erica said in disbelief when you stayed silent.

-Noo no no...- you shook your head and then breathed in- He did make me breakfast but he didn't bring it to bed...- you could feel Erica's eyes on you as you took out some utensils you needed, urging you to keep talking- Then he offered to drive me to work, but that's cause he just has a nice car and likes to be cocky about it...- you shrugged, dismissing his offer.

-Anything else?- she smiled tilting her head towards you slightly, it was like she already knew you had more to tell.

You huffed out a laugh, feeling another wave of blush coming up your cheeks, you tried to occupy yourself with anything else to hide it.

-I don't know just...- you shrugged, but you did know- He kissed me...he let me borrow some socks...- you said oh so casually, as if the signs weren't literally there in bright letters.

Erica pursed her lips, pressing them tightly and looking at you with wide eyes, almost debating on whether she should just say it bluntly to you or if you weren't exactly there yet. You gave her a smile and a laugh, giving her a silent green light that she took.

-Okay I'm gonna say it... A fuckboy doesn't just ask you to stay the night or makes you breakfast and offers to drive you to work, i don't think he's just hooking up anymore...- she raised her brows inquisitively at you.

-Of course he is, Philip is nice and all but he doesn't get into relationships, he likes his casual stuff and honestly- you cocked your head to the side- I'm kinda jealous, this is like the first time i tried having something casual without any strong feelings and i wished i could do it more, i guess it's just that with him i know before hand that it's not like he's gonna fall in love or anything, I'm not that enchanting, despite how funny and interesting i am- you joked, flashing her a smile as you slipped on your latex gloves to start working, just then Louie walked in the kitchen.

-Morning!- he announced when he saw you- I need you to make two red velvet cakes in the 6 inch mold- he gestured and you nodded.

Red velvet cake, of course your mind traveled back to Philip, baking gave you time to think, you liked that about it, today's thoughts were starring the conversation you just had with Erica, once again you questioned your little affair with Philip, and wondered where was the line drawn between a fuckboy's actions and actual care or romantic interest. You had to admit that in the back of your head you had your suspicions about the whole thing, but also the fear that you would catch feelings and end up being played and therefore regretting ever trying out having a casual thing, considering that left you knowing one thing for sure, you wouldn't let yourself catch these feelings, you could do it, maybe you could even start being the one to put limits, no borrowing socks or staying over for breakfast, no two hour phone calls at night or good morning texts. 

He wouldn't mind, if anything who knows? Maybe he'd even be relieved that he wouldn't have to pretend to be extra nice to make up for the fact that he was just horny for you. And also, when you took it to reality, how much longer could this whole thing last really? 

The cake was done and Louie was taking care of the icing and details, he was much more skilled at it than you and had offered you some short lessons to help you improve. You watched besides him as he grabbed a sleeve full of red icing to draw letters on the top of the cake that read "Happy Birthday!", you paid good attention at his technique before he passed it on to you.

-Alright, add some details along the top and bottom brims and we'll pack it up.-

That was simple enough, you swirled the sleeve along the cake while Louie watched, nodding occasionally, once that was done he grabbed a box and you very carefully placed the cake inside, making sure it didn't touch the sides, when Louie closed it he grabbed a small piece of paper and scribbled a name and a small description of the cake on it, then slid it over to your side of the long wide table to keep it there until they came to pick it up. 

As you slid it over to the side you saw the name on the paper read "Hillary" and you stopped for a moment, a cake that read Happy Birthday ordered under the name Hillary, what were the chances that that was Philip's birthday cake? On a small town like this? Pretty big. It wasn't a big deal of course but for some reason you took notice of it, and around an hour later as you washed your hands from flour and butter, Erica peeked through the door and asked you to bring the cake.

-It's that one on the table- you cocked your head waiting for her to grab it.

-I know but you have to come take a look at this full course meal standing at the register, he's so tall- she whispered, throwing herself forward against the door frame dramatically.

You laughed without thinking about it, but when you peeked your head to look over Erica's shoulder, you understood, the full course meal Erica was drooling about was Philip, standing there, hands on his jacket pockets looking around as he waited for, of course, his cake. You whipped your head back inside quickly, hiding yourself as you contained a laugh at Erica's dumbfounded expression.

-Oh my god Erica that's Philip!- you whispered-shouted.

-That's Philip?!- she whispered back, her eyes wide like plates.

-Shh!! Yes that's him it's his cake- you giggled.

-He is hot, why didn't you tell me he was so hot??- she asked laughing.

-You're engaged!!- 

-So? I love my fiancé that doesn't mean I can't look- you both laughed, she carefully grabbed the cake and handed it to you- You are so giving him the cake, go go go-

You wanted to protest but she pushed you towards the door and with the cake in hand you couldn't really push back at her, besides you saw him this morning you didn't really have a reason to feel nervous about him being here, apart from your dirty apron and your now blushing cheeks.

-Hey you- you sighed with a smile, he turned around and mimicked it.

As he turned you noticed how he caught your appearance, you felt a bit shy, you really didn't come to work in pretty clothes and makeup, there was no point since you worked in the back with no one else but Louie, you saw Philip's eyes travel up and down your figure hungrily, all the way from your face, to your chest and down your curves, shamelessly checking you out with a parted mouth before he blinked.

-Hello there...- he said softly.

General Kenobi  
Jesus christ not now!!

-They sent you to pick up your own cake? That's not very nice- you raised a brow.

He chuckled before settling in a big smile, tilting his head slightly as he looked into you profoundly, seemingly scanning your face, he then took a step closer to the counter where you settled the cake.

-They didn't, I just felt like seeing you...- he smirked, his tone a bit hushed, but confident.

-Didn't you see me this morning?- you squinted your eyes, teasing.

-Not in that apron I didn't...- his smirk stood still as he said this, and his eyes traveled down your curves again, your lips parted at the comment.

Was he turned on right now? By you wearing a dirty apron? You couldn't help blushing at the thought, but also find it slightly funny and in all honesty, not that surprising at all.

-Really?? The apron??- you raised your brows- Your mommy issues are showing Altman...- 

Your head tilted at him in a false concerning manner, and a teasing smirk formed on your face, you wondered what other unusual non sexual things turned him on, in fact, since you started sleeping with him, you wondered what other things turned you on, you never really had a whole lotta room for experimentation before, you knew some things you liked were a bit out there, but you wanted to try more, specially since the unexpected liking for choking you found out about last night.

He didn't say anything, just looked at you for a moment, mischief in his eyes as he took his hands out of his pockets and leaned over the counter on his forearms, leaving his face just slightly lower than yours. You couldn't blame him for having mommy issues, after all his mom had written all of their private lives into a bestselling book. He looked up at you behind his eyelashes, his eyes dark, like his voice.

-That's no way to talk to daddy...- 

Your stomach fliped at the response, you felt the color on your face either draining or coming up in a rush of blood to your cheeks, and you blinked, startled. He wasn't wrong, to be fair, but you kind of had forgotten you called him that, you also had forgotten how much you liked it, now there was a pulsing sensation between your legs, you shifted in your spot, this was the last thing you needed during work hours.

-Touché...- you took a deep breath, looking into his smug expression.

He smiled up at you, more of a grin really, his eyes falling down to your lips which you noticed were parted.

-So...credit or cash?- you blinked, breaking the moment as to not throw yourself at him.

He stood up straight at this, his hands went back in his pockets.

-I think it's already paid for...- he blinked.

-Oh! Uh...- you realized you didn't know where to check that- Erica?-

You turned as you called, glad that she wasn't just standing at the door listening, she appeared a few seconds later and walked to the register to pull out a notebook that read the cake was paid for in advanced. You gave him another smile, your center very much still shaken by his words, a reminder of last nights events, you swallowed as he picked up the box and Erica waved him goodbye, he gave you another grin and a wink before walking out.

-Oh my god...- Erica shook her head watching him leave, you both turned to look at each other and laugh like dumb schoolgirls- He was ready to jump over the counter!- she exclaimed.

You laughed some more, biting your lip and shaking your head at Erica's excitement and Philip's actions, the way he undressed you with his eyes.

-See,- you gestured at her-Just...infatuation.-


	20. Cheater

So far your days at work and your new routine had been going more than smoothly, there was more than enough space to learn at the bakery and it brought you a lot of satisfaction, Erica and you were becoming closer every day, she had even promised one of these days you'd go and have dinner at her place to meet her fiancé, meanwhile you or her would take turns to buy lunch every day and sat at the kitchen, rambling away about nothing. 

Every morning you'd wake up energized and ready to leave, you hadn't been stressed in a while and you were loving it.

Except today.

-Fuck! Shit shit shit!- you echoed and hissed running around the house.

You were late, about forty minutes late already to be exact, what bothered you most was how the only reason you were late was because you thought you plugged your charger but apparently it didn't plug all the way in, therefore your phone died, therefore no alarm woke you up.

There was no time for a shower or makeup, the chanting of curses continued as you sprinted downstairs, interrupted by you falling on your ass the last three steps, you groaned in frustration. Today of all days, of course you had to be late, the first catering job Louie had given you with him and you were running amazingly late, you could imagine him huffing disappointed, his mustache curling down as he pressed his mouth together in frustration.

Your mom and Horry sat peacefully at the kitchen island having breakfast before they turned wide eyed to see you zooming at the door, grabbing your keys and quite literally throwing a coat on, not bothering to check if it would be enough or not.

-Hey there's two big boxes from Chicago for ya!-

-I can't right now just bring em up to my roomthanksbye!!- you hurriedly exclaimed as you opened and ran out the door.

The pouring rain stopped you right on your track, you gasped and went back under the small roof over your entrance and thought quickly, maybe Philip could drive you, yes! You took off to cross the street before you saw the black Porsche was nowhere to be seen, another frustrated groan went up to the sky at whoever decided to do this to you.

In the end you opted for an Uber as you tapped your foot impatiently on the entrance, hugging your coat around you and trying your best not to look at the time. The car arrived and you jumped to it, once again getting wet in the process, your leg wouldn't stop bouncing on the ride, you closed your eyes for a moment to tell yourself that worrying wouldn't get you there faster, and you simply hoped Louie wasn't too mad.

-Hey! Where were you are you okay??- you heard Erica as you paced through the entrance and to the kitchen, huffing angrily at the world.

-My stupid fucking alarm didn't go off, and then it was raining so i had to call an uber.- you explained, brushing your damp hair out of your face with your fingers as you hurried to the kitchen.

The door slammed open and there stood Louie, his expression pretty much what you had pictured, except his hands were on his hips and he turned briefly to look at the clock on the wall, you were an hour and twenty minutes late.

-Louie i am so sorry my alarm didn't go off and i don't have a car so i had to call for one...- you gestured with your hands, feeling the guilt tug in your throat- It won't happen again i swear just tell me what to do and I'll get right to it...-

He looked at you and sighed, he didn't look angry just let down, you didn't know which one was worse to be honest, he shrugged looking around the kitchen and you followed, seeing the trays of stuff scattered around.

-There's nothing left to do really, we have to pack things up and take them over to the place.- he stated.

Now you felt like crying of guilt and embarrassment, he had done everything all by himself and you had not been here to help one bit with it, you could help with the packaging yes but the point of you helping him was to bake, to show him you could produce a bigger order in a short amount of time, and now you couldn't show him at all.

It was a bad day. You had made up your mind about it, it only got worse when you took the chance to plug your phone and saw all the missing calls from Erica that morning, and also a few texts from Philip that you felt a bit bad about not responding, although you figured he wouldn't exactly care too much but still.

On the remaining of the day, between frustration and a tinge of sadness at Louie's effort, things weren't doing too good for you, the batch of cupcakes had come out dry, you drank a bit too much coffee, and you were hungry but you didn't take your lunch break, eager to prove to Louie that today was an honest mistake and he could still count on you, you were having such good time at this job, you hated that today was the first day that the vibe seemed so off.

When the clock hit the end of your day, you couldn't wait to head home, you were tired and hungry, and you didn't have any money left. As you stood there under the small roof outside the bakery, waiting for the rain to cease a little, you thought to yourself that the day was pretty much done, you could go home, eat something, take a shower, it was only a stressful day, but the lack of reassurance coming from Louie when you left still stuck at the back of your mind.

The rain was very much not stopping, and with one last sigh you stepped into it, simply giving in at the very much grey movie moment that came from walking slowly in the rain, you couldn't care less, it was a bad day so this might as well be the cherry on top.

Speaking of money, your phone dinged with the sound of a notification you hadn't heard in a while, your bank account app sent you a message about the balance in your account and that stopped you on your tracks, you opened it, shielding your phone from the rain, between your account and your savings you had a total of 800 bucks. Tears stung at the back of your eyes as you became overwhelmed, your jaw was clenched and your brows tense as well as your shoulders, you took a deep very sharp breath and started walking again, trying to calm yourself from the anger of your life feeling like it was crumbling from time to time, and hating yourself for feeling like that so often over such small stuff.

By the time you arrived home the sky was pretty much dark, it was still raining but not pouring, the suburbs tainted in a humid dark grey, it didn't bother you that it rained, it bothered you that it made you late and that you had no choice but to get wet. You took off your wet dirty shoes off by the entrance, glaring and scoffing at the umbrella besides the coat rack, the wet coat was taken to the laundry room and thrown inside the drier, you took your socks off as well and placed them in the laundry basket and dragged yourself upstairs with hunched shoulders.

Just a bad day. Just a bad day.

You repeated inside your mind for every step you took upstairs until you reached your room and closed the door, leaning against it and sighing heavily, you'd have something to eat but first you needed to take a shower and change.

As you walked to your dresser though, you spotted your bed looking exceedingly comfortable and inviting, and so you thought to yourself you'd lay for a while and then finish the day, after all nothing else could happen.  
Or so you thought as you flopped on the bed and closed your eyes, only to open them again a few minutes later to spot the two boxes from this morning Horry had brought upstairs.

They were from Chicago, he said, so you figured they must've been what was left of your belongings at the apartment, you raised your brows trying to take a little positive crumb from the day and stood up to crouch in front of the boxes. After a bit of effort you managed to get the tape out of them, you read the address, they were definitely from the apartment, you were glad Nick had sent this stuff to you without any further discussion or trouble.

Sadly, when you did open the first box, what you found was very much the polar opposite.

They were your belongings, yes, but they were messed up, teared, cut and stained. Destroyed basically. You sifted through them, a few perfume bottles were broken, shirts shredded, some jeans with holes on them, your eyes dampened at the corners as you looked at everything. 

You decided to open the second box as well, breathing deeply as you braced yourself for more disaster, just as you thought, teared dresses, some books you had scribbled and scratched all over. At the bottom of the box there was some dark blue fabric you recognized instantly, your bottom lip trembled.

-No no no no, please...- your voice was a breathy whisper as you lifted the item.

Your dad's hoodie, one you had kept after he passed away, one you hadn't packed in your rush of anger when you left Nick, was now stained with the scribbling of a permanent black market in a single word that spread across the entire chest of the hoodie.

"CHEATER"

You stared at it, your lip curling and pressing tightly as it trembled, your eyes instantly welling up and overflowing with hot tears as you saw the last thing you had left of your dad completely ruined. A harsh sniff rippled through you, and so you tipped over the edge of a terrible day, you sobbed and held your dad's hoodie close to you, smelling the long gone scent of him as your tears fell over it.

How could you forget this was there?? How could you not take it with you?? You felt guilty and sad and stupid, you sobbed against the fabric, trying to contain the noises of sadness as to not wake up anyone in the dark silent house. You thought you were walking away from all the crap that had enveloped in your life before you came here, you thought you were finally done with Nick making you feel like shit, and yet here you were.

There you sat, for what felt, and most likely was, an hour, crying and sniffing, blue hoodie still held tight against you, you barely looked through the rest of the boxes, everything was ruined, clothes, shoes, a few pictures even. Suddenly you felt a bit scared as you looked around, you never imagined Nick would lash out and do something like this, destroy your stuff and send it to you, you'd never seen him do anything like that.

Your phone buzzed besides you, you didn't really think about it before grabbing it and answering the call, a brand new stream of tears forming in your eyes.

-What?- you said, your voice wavering.

-Hello to you too- Philip's voice was heard on the other side.

Fuck...

You weren't expecting it to be him, you sniffed and wiped your tears as if he were here, trying to hide the obvious change in your voice.

-Sorry, hi- you said, keeping it short.

-Hey you okay?- 

He sounded actually worried, and the question was more than enough to send you down again, you took a shaky breath trying your best to not collapse on the phone with him, although at the same time, a part of you wished he were here.

-I'm fine...i just, i had a shitty day I'm fine.- you gulped your sadness.

-Are you sure?- again, he sounded concerned.

-Yeah, i...I'm really tired okay? I'll call you tomorrow if you want...-

It's not that you didn't want to talk, you just didn't think he'd want you bawling your eyes out through the phone as you sobbed about your stupid ex boyfriend yet again, and how one bad day had you crumbled up on the floor, you heard your name being called through the phone, soft and quiet, it only made you tear up more.

-You wanna talk about it?- he asked carefully.

Your lips pressed together again, your eyes blurry still looking at the boxes and the contents inside, feeling the silent darkness of the room, you noticed the rain had stopped.

-I had a really bad day...- you started, clearing your throat when you felt a sob bubbling up- And to top it off, Nick sent me my stuff back, but he fucked it all up...-

You decided to keep it short, you really didn't want to bother him, there was a bit of silence, and you shrugged, feeling like adding something more.

-So now half of my stuff is destroyed and...I don't know...i feel like shit.- you concluded, stopping yourself.

-Do you want me to come over?- he asked, he seemed concerned yet a bit lost.

-No no...I don't wanna wake up anyone it's fine...- your voice broke at the end and you cursed yourself.

-Okay then you come over.-

-Philip...-

-Y/n.- he stated- I don't want you to be alone...-

The words were quiet but sure, like he wouldn't let you stay alone at home, you angled the phone down for a moment as you thought, you looked around the dark silent room, felt the night quiet down the house, felt the heaviness of your eyes and head, you honestly just wanted to eat and sleep and forget today ever happened.

-Are you sure?- you asked one last time.

You heard rustling and walking, or more like skipping, you figured he was walking downstairs, then the sound of keys.

-Yeah, come on I'll be waiting for you- his tone had lighten a bit, but it still seemed caring.

He was more than right, as soon as you hung up the phone you realized how lonely tonight felt, how quiet everything was and how you didn't want to be alone. You blew your nose and washed your face quickly, you thought of packing a bag but you weren't sure if Philip's offer included you staying the night, maybe that was a bit much, so you just grabbed your keys and phone.

Slowly walking downstairs and opening the door, you sneaked out of the house with a heavy sigh, the street was silent, cold and dimly lit, similar to the night of Philip's birthday a week ago when you were coming back from the bar, but this time you weren't content, your eyes were droopy and probably had dark circles of a considerable size, your mood was down and your head full of discouraging buzzing.

You texted Philip when you were at the door and a solid two seconds later you heard the keys turn and he opened the door.

-Hey...- you whispered.

He looked down at you, his hair was only a bit ruffled but the black waves still cascaded down to his ears, he was wearing some jeans and a long sleeve shirt, his mouth was parted and in the warm light coming from behind him mixed with the darkness of the street, his soft eyes glinted down into yours, a tint of worry washing over them.

-Hey...- he replied- Come here...- his arm extended and invited you closer.

At the sign of incoming consolation your eyes seemed to give up their dry facade and they welled up again as you stumbled into Philip's arms, sinking into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, you didn't realize how badly you needed the hug until his warm big figure embraced you, he smelled so nice, and you felt so sad, so pent up, you tried your hardest not to cry, but a small sob rippled through your throat when your arms went around his waist, and your shoulders shook with a new round of cries.

-It's okay, you're okay...- he murmured, you felt his hands grip a little tighter to your arm and waist.

He slowly pulled you closer just enough so that he could close the door and go back to hugging you, your fingers held onto his shirt, his chin rested on the top of your head that was still plastered on his chest, you found the rhythm of his breathing, and with it his heartbeat, you listened to it intently, focusing on it until your own breathing was calmer.

-He wrote "cheater" on my dad's hoodie...- you started, your head turning so that you laid sideways against him.

You felt his breathing become a little deeper, and he hugged you even tighter, you welcomed it.

-Why are your clothes damp?-

-I got stuck under the rain coming back from work...- you sniffed- I was late and Louie got mad...-

Your mouth pressed in a thin line, stress and sadness meeting in your head once again, you breathed in, trying to keep them from worsening the storm.

-Okay...- he sighed- Did you just get home?-

You nodded, you actually didn't know how long ago you had gotten home.

-Have you eaten?-

You shook your head.

-Alright...cmon-

He kissed the top of your head and slowly pulled away to guide you over to the kitchen, you wiped your tears on the sleeve of your sweater, his hand on your lower back all the way until you leaned on the kitchen counter and he walked to the fridge.

You saw him hunch forward slightly, noticing how he was just as tall as the fridge, and how low he had to lean forward to get what he wanted from inside it, a pizza box. He stood up again looking at you and raising his brows as if asking if that was okay, you nodded with the smallest smile.

-There's not a lot more, i got home late...- he explained.

-That's perfect actually...- you admitted, nothing better after a crappy day than drowning your sorrows in pizza- Thanks...-

He smiled at you and walked over to the microwave to heat up the slices.

-Anytime...- he said, looking into your eyes with sympathy.

You looked at him noticing how caring yet casual he seemed, he shifted on his spot and blinked a few times before asking. You 

-Was it just the hoodie?-

-No...he broke shoes and cut my shirts, everything that i left back in Chicago- you shook your head in defeat.

Your hair was dry and frizzy by now, your clothes however were still damp and had grown cold against your back and chest, your sweater was drying quickly but your shirt was becoming more and more uncomfortable to have on. 

-He knew the hoodie was my dad's, he knew how much it meant to me...-you looked down at your feet.

You rubbed your hands on your face, your forehead tense as a product of overwhelming feelings, though you noticed how they were slowly washing away thanks to Philip's mere presence, well that and the tight hug he just gave you next to letting you cry into his chest, but nevertheless, it was him. 

-Hey...- you looked over at him, he walked and stood in front of you- I'm sorry all of this happened, he's a fucking prick.- he sighed, biting his cheek- I want to punch his fucking face so bad.-

You huffed a faint, mostly fake, laugh, and your gaze dropped slightly again, thinking about Nick taking your dead father's hoodie and writing the word all across it, you took a shaky breath before you heard Philip speak again.

-How about you go upstairs and put on some dry clothes, you can eat and then we'll go to bed- he flashed you a closed smile.

You looked up at him, frowning, trying not to think if he had other motives, you hoped not, otherwise that would be the epitome of this horrible day.

-I'm not really in that mood right now, if you don't mind.- you said in an almost confused tone.

He frowned, then he blinked.

-What? No, no not that just sleeping, i said I didn't want you to be alone- he shrugged.

So he was implying that you slept here, you thanked god he wasn't that type of douchebag, inside you knew he wasn't, you were glad you were right. You mouthed an oh and he chuckled lightly, then the microwave beeped.

-Go get changed, I'll bring it to you...- he smiled and leaned forward to kiss your forehead.

With that you made your way upstairs, slowly, your feet heavy for every step you took, walking in the dark to find the door to his room, where you entered and instantly slid off of your clothes and stumbled to Philip's closet to locate the shirt he had given you last week, comfy and soft and drenched in his scent, it gave you another wash of relief.

You took a minute to look around the room, you didn't have a chance last time to take a look and so now you did, there wasn't much really, but for some reason you wondered how many girls had gone through this same room. Turning around you noticed a jacket hanging on a chair by the bathroom door which had a white packet inside, when you peeked your suspicions were correct, there was a pack of cigarettes in it, you grabbed one and the lighter, sighing in resignation as you approached the window and opened it, sitting on the edge, puffing smoke out.

You always thought your dad would've liked Nick, but thinking back after all that's happened, you were sure your dad wouldn't like him, he would probably have an off feeling about him, he was like that, he could tell whenever someone wasn't actually that good.

One would've thought the hoodie would be the first thing you grabbed, but it simply slipped out of you in the midst of your storming out, that wasn't enough though, you still felt guilty, you always worried someday you'd forget your dad, forgetting his hoodie and now being forced to throw it away was the closest you've ever gotten.

The bedroom door closed and you turned to see Philip walking over to where you had managed to sit on the window frame, your hand pointed outside with the cigarette as to not bring too much smoke inside, you knew he didn't mind that you smoked in here, he had told you he did it as well.

-Thanks...- you muttered when he handed you a plate full of pizza.

He didn't say much, he simply looked at you, that way Philip always looked at you, and then he walked over and grabbed a cigarette for himself as he leaned against the window and looked outside for a moment. You both stayed in silence while you ate, you kept thinking about your dad, feeling the cold breeze hit your hot head full of nostalgia and worries, contrasting with your now deep relaxed breathing.

You could still feel Philip's eyes on you as you dissociated, you didn't mind, you knew he wasn't staring, his gaze was always so present yet so subtle, you didn't quite mind it, in fact, you found yourself enjoying it, longing to catch him looking at you that way, which you always did, he didn't care to hide it.

At some point, you were brought back by him yawning, he had already finished his cigarette, and you yawned back, he gave you a smirk.

-Should we get you to bed?- he smiled.

You nodded as you puffed the last of your own cigarette and threw it out the window. He sat at the edge of the bed, taking off his shoes, meanwhile you flopped onto the mattress, closing your eyes and sighing heavily, feeling glad that the day was finally over, yet still reminding yourself how back in your house, your belongings still sat there, ruined by your suddenly out of his mind ex boyfriend, and how your boss was probably as stressed as you were because of you.

All these increasingly intrusive thoughts were once again interrupted and quieted by Philip's hold, he slid closer and a long arm draped on your waist after pulling and tucking the heavy covers over you, you moved to snuggle as far against his chest as you possibly could, he enclosed his arms around you and ran long fingers through your hair, his lips resting on the top of your forehead.

And you found yourself wondering what your dad would think of Philip, he probably wouldn't know, since you two aren't really anything. 

-Do you miss your dad?- you asked, low and hushed, not really looking for an answer.

But you did get an answer, it was delayed a few seconds, and it was quiet like yours.

-Yeah, yeah i do...-

-He was a nice guy, I liked him.- you whispered, feeling how sleepiness got the best of you.

Before you fell asleep, you thought about how nice it was that he had told you to come over, tonight was terrible, and you felt like shit, but feeling like shit with someone to stand, or lay, next to you instead of alone in your room surrounded by lost memories seemed a lot better, your dad would've liked Philip, he was a nice guy, like his dad.


	21. Care And Affection

Philip's POV:

Philip wasn't good at consolation, when his brother Judd found out his cheating wife was pregnant, he didn't know what to tell him, luckily his brother just wanted to be alone. Last night had been the same with her, he wasn't sure what to say, but he was even less sure what had happened when she spoke through the phone and that feeling scared him more than the other.  
He knew one thing, if he ever saw Nick again in his goddamn life, he would break his nose, and a few ribs while he was at it, he also knew another thing, he didn't want her to be alone, he wanted her to be with him.

Her voice through the phone made his stomach tie into a tight knot, she was crying, her voice was shaky, a sad whisper, and when he opened the door the knot in his stomach came undone only to form again around his chest, she looked so small, so hurt, hunched over at the door with swollen eyes, a red nose and a curled lip, Philip's first instinct was to hold her, support her with the strength of his arms hoping to keep in place the pieces that were cracking, threatening to fall apart.

While he felt hugging her would be useful, he wasn't sure what else to do, he felt like he should say something, he was so worried about her, he could feel her crying in his chest, the knot got tighter, he took a deep breath and mentally scolded himself, forcing his stupid mouth to say anything.

-It's okay, you're okay...-

If he could slap himself he would've. She clearly wasn't okay, that was one of the stupidest things he could've said, but deep inside, he really wanted her to be okay.

-He wrote "cheater" on my dad's hoodie...- he heard her whisper.

Philip's eyes twitched, gazing at nothing as he angled his chin to rest on her head, his breaths deep as he inhaled the impotence he felt, he couldn't do anything, he thought for a split second of driving all the way to Chicago to beat the shit out of that dickhead, but that wouldn't work, he needed to be here, with her. She needed him, and although he couldn't do much, he'd do everything he could.

He thought of the basics, food and water, he wished he had more than just leftover pizza, but he was relieved to hear it was perfect to her. As he walked in his room he stopped to look at her, she was sitting over the frame of the open window, her knees up against her chest, holding a cigarette while she looked outside, wearing only his shirt.

To his own surprise, he didn't find himself fighting back his own horny impulses, because yes she looked hot, yes he had pictured her wearing his shirt and smoking a cigarette on his room, but not like this, not when she looked so emotionally worn out, that wasn't how he wanted it to go, he wanted her hair to be messy from his doing in bed, her lips to stretch in a giggle as he teased her, and her eyes to be hazy from a recent climax, not tears.

And still, he admired her for a little longer before walking over and handing her the plate, grabbing a cigarette for himself, only to lean against the frame and still watch her, he could tell she was deep in thought, and he didn't want to interrupt unless she wanted him too, so he simply smoked, listening to the distant crickets and watching her eat.

He felt his own tiredness drape over him, and he yawned, and by obvious reflex she yawned back, and so he figured now all they had left to do was get some rest. He watched her inhale what was left of the cigarette before they slid under the covers, she was so nice to sleep next to, like a cozy little pillow with soft warm skin, he could feel himself already melting next to her when she spoke.

-Do you miss your dad?-

The question took him a bit by surprise, making him open his eyes again, he did miss his dad, he missed him so fucking much somedays, Philip tried not to think about all the time he should've spent with his dad before he passed away, he fucking hated himself for being too fucking selfish to show up, visit him once in a while. His dad didn't really show or say much, but he had done well in some areas, Philip wondered if he would've liked her, he probably would've, she was pretty damn great.

-Yeah, yeah i do...- he said sincerely.

He fought back at the stinging sensation behind his eyes as she fell asleep, he focused on her breathing, on holding her, cradling her, and so guided by her own calmness, he fell asleep.

***

A swift breeze coming through the window woke him up slowly and gently, cold and humid like the day before had been, his eyes opened with a little effort, and he felt his arms around her, her breath against his collarbones and her face snuggled up on his neck, his eyes closed slowly again, simply feeling her body against his, and nuzzling his nose on her hair.

The hand she had laid over his chest moved to hug around his waist, he wasn't quite laying on his side anymore, but instead laying on his back with her snuggled tightly against him, he looked down at their bodies, her leg moved to position itself over his thigh, his shirt riding up and exposing the curve of her ass, he considered just how much out of place it would be if he placed his hand over it, maybe give it a little squeeze, but that wouldn't be nice, he knew she wasn't looking for that type of distraction.

That was certainly a way to make her feel better he knew how to perform, but the times before she had always showed she wanted it, and even said it, this time was different, he still couldn't get over how drained and tired she looked yesterday, and how that guy had the nerve to actually do that to her, that fucking asshole, hurting his baby like that.

There was a bit of movement on his side and a little hum next to his neck, he looked down, feeling her wake up with a deep breath, he ran his fingers along her hair, letting her know he was awake as well.

-Morning...- she mumbled.

-Morning- he repeated.

-We left the window open...-

He shifted a bit and rubbed his hand over her back, she was a bit cold.

-Want me to close it?- his eyes looked down although her face was buried on his neck.

Her hold tightened around him when she felt him try to leave, Philip smirked down at her at the action.

-No, no, it's fine, you're warm...- the last part was whispered, Philip liked it when she'd say those things he could barely hear.

He chuckled softly at her words, but he could also feel how tired she still was. They stayed entangled under the heavy covers for a while, both letting the breeze lightly flow through their hair, Philip would kiss her head every few minutes, he knew she was still awake, even if she wasn't moving much.

-My head really hurts...- she sighed.

-Hmm...- he thought- How about a bath?- 

She took a minute to respond, Philip doubted if that was even a good suggestion, until she took a deep breath, and then sniffed.

-Okay...- another whisper, Philip could hear it in her voice, the knot on her throat, she was still down.

Philip switched the shower head to the faucet and once the tub was filled with piping hot water, he watched her tie her hair up in a messy bun and as he saw her lifting his shirt off of her he turned around, pretending to do something else, he was a bit stuck in place, he had seen her naked before so it wasn't that, but she probably wanted to relax and be alone, so he headed for the door.

-You can stay if you want...- she stopped him in his tracks.

He turned around, she was already in the water, his shirt and her panties on the floor, she leaned forward to rest her forearms on her knees tilting her head to the side over them, there wasn't any soap or bubbles in the water, he could see her completely, fuck he did want to stay, she did tell him he could, but did that mean he could get in? Why was he so awkward all of a sudden? He shook his head, composing himself.

Just fucking get in!

Thankfully she didn't shoo him away when he started getting undressed and climbed inside the tub, carefully extending his legs by her side so he could fit better, she didn't seem to mind, she looked too deep in thought, her only reaction was shifting from laying her cheek to her chin on her forearm, still looking away. He found himself looking at her again, he had never seen her with her hair up since she arrived to town, it looked pretty on her, she blinked slowly, tired, in silence. 

His eyes traveled along her face, noticing how long it looked, how heavy her eyelids seemed, she was still thinking about it, hell he could tell she probably already woke up thinking about it, maybe the silence wasn't helping, he didn't want to see her like this, he didn't like it, he had to think of some distraction, something to get her mood up again, at least a little, make her feel a little better, maybe even smile. He thought of things she liked, baking? No he couldn't bring that up, she had a shitty day at work as well yesterday, something else popped up.

-So when's the new Star Wars film coming out?- he asked quietly.

Her eyes now snapped to him, he saw the faintest glint of light come to them.

Bingo.

-December...18th i think- she murmured.

He nodded.  
-And what's it about?-

Now her face had more mobility to it, her mouth actually parted open when she spoke, and her eyelids started picking up.

-I think we're gonna get a stormtrooper that becomes a jedi, amongst other things- 

He nodded again, he didn't remember that much about Star Wars, but he remembered stormtroopers were the poor guys forced to fight jedis with normal guns that they always missed their shots with, so that was interesting, he guessed.

-Mm...that's cool isn't it?- he furrowed his brows.

-Yeah it's really cool, totally new- her head nodded slightly and he smirked.

-I wouldn't know...- he admitted.

-You haven't seen Star wars?- 

Her eyes snapped his way again and her brows raised, almost in shock.

-I have, just like, a long time ago...- he shrugged.

-Hmm...-

-You wanna refreshen my memory?-

Her head fully turned to him now, her brows pinched, but her eyes eager.

-What of the six movies?-

His smirk grew.

-Mhmm- he nodded.

And that was more than enough, the next forty minutes were spent with her telling Philip the entire story chronologically, from episodes 1 to 6, and Philip actually listened, he even asked a few questions, but mostly he smiled at the way she lit up talking about it, he started feeling better himself seeing her happier. When she was done recounting the entire saga for him, she sighed and went back to her silence, now much lighter than it was before.

-You know what i do remember?- he grinned.

-What?- her eyes squinted just a little.

-I remember boner...- she tilted her head- I mean Charlie, he used to ramble on about this weird Princess Leia sexual fantasy he had- his face curled, repelled.

She rolled her eyes at him, he could've beamed with happiness at the sight, instead he grinned.

There she is...

-The golden bikini one...- she said matter of factly.

-That one, ugh- he shook his head.

He smiled over at her, hoping the comment would make her smile as well, instead her gaze dropped a bit before she breathed in and looked up at him again. 

-Thank you...- her jaw clenched- I'm sorry my ex keeps trying to fuck with my life and you end up in the middle, yesterday was...it was a bit scary, and also really tough, it's not like I don't have pictures from my dad or something like that it's just...- she shrugged casually, looking down at her hands in the water- I snuck that hoodie out of his belongings before mom donated them, i used it to sleep at night in college...-she trailed off.

He watched her gaze fall and get lost in pain again, she swallowed, or better said gulped, most probably trying to hold back tears again, and the knot on his chest came back. 

It was then that Philip realized, he wasn't just hot for her, this wasn't an affair anymore, yesterday when he saw her so hurt and frustrated, all he could think about was how to make her feel better, how to care for her, he didn't want her to be alone because he wanted her to know he was there, because he wanted to be, he wanted to hug her tight until the pain went away. And even just now, when she finally lit up, rambling on about something she loved, he felt a sense of accomplishment and relief to know that she was starting to feel fine again, she deserved to be fine, she deserved so much, and he wouldn't give her any less. 

Philip liked her, he really did like her, he cared for her. And so he concluded that must've been that thing that was happening between them, the comfortable silences, and the tense ones, the two hour talks about nothing, these moments of vulnerability, the fact that he could look at her for so long and keep finding new details to admire.

He leaned forward, bending his legs a little to get a better angle close to her, and leaned his forehead against hers, smirking to himself at his dad's memory.

-Hey...you're gonna be okay, now you can build something new, remember? Like you told me?- 

They looked at each other with doe glinting eyes, hers scanned his features and quickly came back up to his, melting in them, and Philip saw all that same affection he had discovered for her flashing back at him, followed by a small but very present smile of hers. The knot on his chest loosened and became a flutter when she tilted her head and met his lips with hers, kissing them slowly but rhythmically, behind closed eyes he heard the water be disturbed by her movements as she brought her hands out to cup his face as he angled his head down slightly to get the best of her lips.

His hands reached forward, encasing her waist to bring her forward over his lap, straddling him, his tongue brushed over her lip in tender affection, he barely noticed her naked warm center rub on his thigh, he was too damn busy feeling the pride and satisfaction of knowing he made her smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Care isn’t love, don’t get them mixed up 😏


	22. It’s Nothing

Your POV:

It was a long weekend to say the least, the only uplifting sign you had gotten was a call from Erica the morning after you stayed with Philip, she called to tell you not to be discouraged by your small drawback from the day before, and assured you although Louie was a bit let down, he wasn't disappointed and they could both tell you had a bit of a bumpy morning.

-Hey, you doing alright?- she had asked through the phone.

No.   
Was your immediate thought, you were very much not doing alright, but you liked Erica, you weren't sure you wanted to scare her away with the insane event that had taken place less than a day ago.

You sighed slowly and quietly, standing on Philip's room while he made breakfast downstairs.

-I'm doing okay...- you tried sounding casual but not defensive.

-It's just, well you seemed to had had a bad day yesterday...- you could hear sympathy and concern in her voice, it was less like Philip's full on worried tone from the night before.

-Yeah just...one of those shitty days- you chuckled falsely, you heard her chuckle with you for a moment before she continued.

-Look, i just wanted you to know, don't worry about Louie, i know he left before he could tell you anything but it's all good, he really does like you and how you work- she explained.

You weren't gonna lie, the breath you took and let out after she said that felt like a gust of relief, which joined the reassured, nuzzled effect Philip had left on you after that morning in the tub, talking about Star Wars and making out slowly until the water turned lukewarm, with his hands rubbing your back to prevent you from getting cold.

-And if you ever wanna vent about something, im available out of office hours as well...- Erica concluded, you could guess she was smiling on the other side of the phone.

You smiled as well, again, the first one since this morning with Philip, and you sighed with content.

-Thanks Erica...that means a lot to me, and the same goes for you- you said matter of factly.

You were so glad your coworker wasn't an asshole who would judge you and make passive aggressive comments like some would do back in the newsroom, you were so glad she felt more like a friend every day.

-Sure! So, see you on Tuesday?- she asked, cheerful.

-Yeah see ya...- 

It was a short phone call, but it still left you relieved, you didn't really know if what you were scared of was losing your job or if you just needed reassurance in general, most likely a pressure left from your previous job where things were done meticulously and there was little to no room for mistake. Once again you were thankful, every day you spent away from that past part of your life you were sure you had made a good decision, specially after it comes back to bug you like it had done the day before.

When you were finally ready to come back to the house and face the reality of what sat in your room, you decided to at least have your brother with you, you didn't let him see the hoodie, you knew if he did he would totally lose it, and you honestly didn't want that, it would probably be way too stressful for him, you just wanted someone to help you throw your shit away.

But nevertheless, the weekend was over, your job was still standing, and although you were worried about what other stunt Nick could pull at this point, you didn't let it get to you. 

Except this Monday morning, when it wasn't necessary you showed up at work, and you were alone in the house with your thoughts, and after a while of simply fidgeting and thinking, you concluded you needed a distraction, and you hoped Philip was home as you pulled your phone out. You wouldn't cry on his shoulder this time, in fact you felt like you should thank him for letting you feel like shit over at his place, or maybe you just wanted to fuck, still, a distraction to feel good.

After all what were casual affairs for? Right?

Around half an hour later he was sitting on the couch picking a movie while you made popcorn, you were already relieved at having someone here to get your mind out of the recent events, if he was here your thoughts were usually centered around him, looking at him and talking to him, he had your full attention if he was around.

Not that he didn't when he wasn't around, he had been living rent free inside your head for a while now.

-Did you make this from scratch?- he asked at the sight of the golden popcorn inside the bowl.

You had settled it over his lap, almost sending him a signal that you were the one who wanted to rest over his thighs, instead you sat next to him, his arms both around the bowl, encasing it completely with the size of his hands, it didn't matter how much you had seen them their size still shocked you.

-Of course i did- you laughed, what was the point of store bought popcorn when actual popcorn was so easy to make?

You watched him turn to face you as you reached to grab a few from the bowl, taking them to your mouth, when you met his stare he was smiling down at you.

-What?- you couldn't help but smile back.

-You're amazing...- he said, a furrow in his brows like he couldn't believe it.

You rolled your eyes and slapped his arm lazily, taking his comment as playful sarcasm, but still you felt the heat of your cheeks blushing. You knew he was smiling bigger without looking at him, but when you did turn to look he caught the side of your face on his palm and your lips were trapped by his, the sudden action and the passion of the kiss managed to get a moan to escape into his mouth, he tilted his head on the side, almost wiggling, to deepen the kiss, sucking on your bottom lip and dancing with your tongue.

Another moan spilled against his mouth and you leaned forward, your hand sneaking it's way to rest on his thigh, his breath going sharp as you rubbed up and down tentatively close to his crotch, with his lips still on yours he settled the bowl on the coffee table and grabbed you by your thigh, lifting it and guiding you to straddle him.

The kiss broke for a few seconds as you settled but quickly came back, his hands kneading your ass as you grinded your hips onto his, fingers entangled in his black locks as you fought in a deep, increasingly sloppy kiss.

His hips moved with yours, swaying up, jeans rubbing against each other's crotch, you moaned at the feeling of his covered hard on massaging your mound underneath the fabric. He seemed to have liked that, his hands once again manhandled you to place his leg in between yours and drag you closer to his knee, he broke the kiss again to look up at you as he started guiding your hips back and forth over his knee, touching your clit more and more as you adjusted your position, his hands holding onto your hips tightly as you let out soft moans.

-There you go baby, grind your hips...- he looked up at you, sighing his words and loosening his grip on you.

You obeyed and swayed your hips a little harder, feeling the round shape of his knee pressing at your entrance and the fabric of your panties and the jeans rubbing and teasing at your clit deliciously, causing another moan to slip out as you kissed him again, tasting the slight sugar taste on his lips as you swiped your tongue over them. 

His hands sneaked their way slowly under your top, sending small goosebumps, his digits barely brushing against your skin until they found your covered breasts and pulled the lace down, palming them and twirling your nipples between his fingers, you gasped breaking the kiss, your hips now moved in small but harsh circles over his legs, you were more than sure that the rough touch of the clothing would leave you sore and sensitive, but it was so hot, and you were climbing closer and closer to your peak, you didn't give a shit.

Your hand moved down from it's place on his chest, finding the pressing bulge between his thighs and palming it, giving it a light squeeze, this caused Philip to grunt and clench his jaw, squeezing at your nipples, your jaw slack as you rested your forehead with this, you felt him angle his knee up. This got you higher and the feel of his throbbing dick growing harder and harder underneath your hand only made it even better, tingles running up and down your stomach at the harsh teasing of your clit, your panties very much ruined at this point as you whined at how sensitive and wet you had gotten.

-So warm and eager for me, i bet you're so wet under those jeans, you wanna cum?- his voice was breathy but his tone was low.

-Ah...yes, fuck i do...- you gasped and whined, hips grinding faster.

More short moans choked out of you as you increased speed, one hand on his shoulder for leverage, the other still rubbing over his crotch, the shape of his thick shaft pretty evident by now, he moaned and dipped forward to kiss and nibble at your neck, taking your earlobe on his mouth when he reached it.

-Do it, drag that clit against my knee and cum on your panties.- his voice velvety.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head at his words, you wanted to take care of him as well, but given he kept insisting on you dry humping his knee, you let yourself go with the amazing rough pressure on your hot slit, panting as you rode out your orgasm, your walls clenching at nothing as you gasped through the last shots of electricity.  
Your brows furrowed once you came back to your senses and lifted your face to look at him, breathing still heavy and cheeks now flushed.

-Did you just make me cum with your knee?- you looked at him in shock, and he only grinned smugly.

The answer was pretty obvious, he had in fact just made you cum with his knee, it almost offended you how big of an ability he had to make you cum, but he loved it, you could see it on his cocky expression.

-Technically you made yourself cum with my knee but yes- if his muscles could stretch further he would've looked like the cheshire cat.

And still he looked so gorgeous with his big white smile, chuckling at your dumbfounded words, and you shortly followed.

-Holy shit...- you exhaled, laughing lightly, you felt like a horny teenager, dry humping your boyfriend while you had the house to yourselves- Fuck...-

Your head fell forward again to the crook of his neck to prevent him from seeing the bright red tint on your face, now you felt embarrassed, you didn't know if it was because of the dry humping, or because for a second you imagined Philip as your boyfriend.

-You okay?- he giggled.

-Yeah...- you finally faced him again, your lips brushing over his- That was fun...- 

He laughed with you and kissed your smile, you caught each other's wandering eyes and he kissed you again, you savored that kiss, it felt tender but buzzing and even slightly desperate, as if you were both taking as much from it as you could before the other pulled away at any second. It felt like the kisses you shared on Saturday morning, sitting naked in a bathtub, holding each other.

-It was fun- he hummed and you smiled between kisses-And now...- he held your waist and turned your bodies to push you on your back against the couch- It's my turn.- 

There was an exchange of one last lustful look and genuine smile before he dipped forward into your mouth again, he moved to settle comfortably between your legs and you wrapped them around his hips, his tongue invaded your mouth meeting yours, his kisses had been deeper lately, less hungry and more passionate, you weren't complaining, in fact it was amazing either way, you felt once again the urge to run your fingers throw the soft waves on his head and moaned in encouragement.

His hands made their way under your top again, rubbing up and down with his thumbs drawing individual patterns across your skin until they reached your breasts, cupping them to take your nipples in between his fingers and pinch, teasing them. A small whimper went up your throat at the feeling, your core already wet and ready for more, you bucked your hips up to feel him and he bit your lip, humming after.

You were too entranced in the taste of his lips and the width of his shoulders towering above you to even realize the front door had been opened.

-OH SH...sorry sorry!- 

Horry's voice startled you, no that wasn't the right way to put it, Horry's voice struck a shot of fear into you, Philip's hands and lips were off of you in a portion of a millisecond, your eyes opened like plates as you both sat up to face Horry, who's own face went from a teasing fun smile to a deeply confused brow ending in a shocked but raging grimace, all in the blink of an eye.

You were pretty sure at that moment you and Philip had the same thought.

Oh shit.

-Wait, wha...Altman??? You piece of shit i knew it!!- 

He came lunging forward at where Philip sat next to, whose eyes widened like plates as he scrambled to jump over the head rest of the couch..

-Shit!- 

-Horry! No no wait!- 

-Get off my sister!- he snapped.

Your brother went around the couch, ignoring you as you tried to get his attention, Philip ran around it before your brother could reach him.

-Horry!-

-Get over here c'mon!!- he ran after him as they rounded the couch again, Philip got away right on time when Horry reached for his shirt collar.

Philip started for the exit, hands up as if trying to calm down an angry dog, before Horry lunged at him again at speed, you honestly didn't think he would actually do anything to him, but Horry was as big as Philip, and you were not about to find out who would win in a fight. 

-Horry stop!! Stop stop stop!!- you ran and stood in front of him, his chest bumping right into you.

Behind you, Philip stood still, ready to run out the door any moment, he looked genuinely scared, you didn't blame him, Horry had his best death glare up and trying to drill into his skull, he tried rounding you again and you stepped in front of him, now both your hand extended to block him.

-You don't have any fucking shame don't you?! This is my sister!!- Horry's face curled into despise almost as he pointed aggressively at you.

You understood he felt protective about you, and at the sight of Philip over you, hands under your shirt and everything, his fight or flight instinct reacted, after all everyone knew Philip's ways in his family and yours, you understood he was afraid you were just being used as fun for him, still, you thought he was taking the whole thing a tiny bit too far.

-Horry! I think i can fend for myself!- you exclaimed a bit fed up, finally getting his attention.

-You can fend for your...Do you know what this is?!?- his hand gestured as if he couldn't believe what you were saying.

-Yes!! I know what it is okay?? He's just sleeping with me, it's nothing!! I know!!- your arms extended in response as you looked him up in the eyes.

-It is?-

Philip spoke from behind you, Horry looked up at him again, his anger now a bit softened, and you turned, confused, to find an even more confused, and dare you say slightly shocked, Philip. Your eyes traveled between his.

-It's not?-


	23. This Thing Between Us

Philip's POV:

Since his little moment of realization a few days ago that he was actually into her, Philip really couldn't stop smiling, things started to make a lot more sense in parts where he didn't realize it was missing, like how she would pop up on his head randomly, not just as a horny memory of being on top of her, but everything else as well.

At first fooling around with the front door neighbor was more than enough to get him going, it was hot and he was sure it would be fun. But it didn't take him long to get hooked, of course he didn't quite know he was totally hooked until maybe the other day, and he had to admit, it felt nice, maybe even nicer than with Tracy. Maybe this time he wouldn't mess it up like he did with her, probably because he truly didn't want to.

He was rolling around in his feelings for her, he hoped she would text all weekend, but didn't bug her himself, he knew she had had a rough start of the weekend, so he waited and by Monday when she asked him over he was eager, a smile on his face as she sat next to him. He liked that whole situation, him picking out a movie while you brought over homemade popcorn that you made so effortlessly from his point of view considering he was more than sure he'd straight burned them if he tried. He wanted more of this, of little domestic, daily life moments with her.

Truth be told a part of him was excited, he could barely contain himself from telling her just how amazing he found her, thinking of what his next move could be, and if he should ask her to be something more. Philip was a confident guy, at least when it came to women, he didn't need to check if she felt the same way, or so he thought.

-You can fend for your...Do you know what this is?!?- her brother, who had suddenly gone from chill and nice neighbor to straight up fight club member, gestured towards Philip, who was hoping he wouldn't have to run off to lock himself inside his house, but was ready to do so.

-Yes!! I know what it is okay?? He's just sleeping with me, it's nothing!! I know!!-

Philip watched as she gestured with her arms as if she were pointing out the obvious, his stomach dropped at her words, he thought, for a small second, that she might say something else, he didn't know what, just anything but that, anything that wouldn't leave him completely confused.

-It is?- was all he could ask.

She turned around, Philip didn't notice her brother calming down at the obvious situation brewing in front of him, her eyes seemed to scan his face, also confused, Philip wasn't scared of Horry anymore, now he was scared of her sudden cluelessness.

-It's not?- her brows pinched for a moment before relaxing again, but her shocked expression still stood.

There was a silence, tense, heavy, on the edge of breaking, they both stood there, maybe waiting for the other to say something, to explain, but neither said a thing, her mouth opened, as if she were about to but still nothing came out. It had to had been a few minutes, or at least that's how it felt, until Horry spoke.

-I think you two...might need to talk, I'm gonna go...- 

With that he awkwardly walked past Philip, and he heard his footsteps going up the stairs, leaving them with an even thicker silence, she blinked, her mouth open agape as she fidgeted with her fingernails, looking up at him for a moment before she furrowed her brows again and looked down at the floor. 

All of this was happening in short minutes, but they felt like hours as both of their silences built up to something neither would like.

To be fair Philip didn't exactly know what he was expecting, he assumed she knew this wasn't just sex anymore. He tried not to overthink it, maybe she was asking because she just now realized it's not, so he spoke first.

-What do you mean just sex?- he asked quietly, slowly, almost carefully.

-I...that's what we have...sex.- she answered, blinking again a few times.

-Well but...- he mimicked her actions- We also have fun, don't we? I like being around you...- he decided maybe he just straight up say it- I'm attracted to you...-

The utter confusion on her face was starting to test his patience, it made him feel so uneasy, the entire situation feeling foreign to him, he realized then that he couldn't remember the last time he was the one admitting to catching feelings in something that, although never established, was "obviously" casual.

-But you're not gonna tell me that this isn't just physical attraction?- she looked around again- Just lust?-

Philip grew more and more worried, feeling a burning sensation on his sternum, he shifted on his spot, a frown on his face.

-I like you, i really like you, i thought you liked me...- he looked at her, hoping she understood.

-Yes! I like you too but i don't like you...- she accentuated.

Philip's face contorted into a frown slapped with confusion, offense, and even hurt. He didn't like him? What was that supposed to mean? For a second he thought back to the last couple of weeks, looking for the proof that she didn't like him, instead all he could find was the opposite, she had shared so much, they had comforted each other, she had cried in his arms and let him take care of her, see her in that horrible and vulnerable moment. 

At his instant reaction she widened her eyes, as if she just realized what she said, and shot her hands up as if trying to stop his feelings.

-No no what i mean is, we, we have fun, but yknow...that's...- she spoke fast and then slow again.

More silence, it was driving Philip insane, it was like she was trying to say something she couldn't put into words, it was as if she were expecting him to form those words for her, and in her inquisitive yet slightly lost stare he realized. 

-That's it...- he started- It's just the sex isn't it?- 

Pain. That was what he felt when he said it out loud, there were no feelings from her side, and still that just didn't sit right with him, his brows pressed together so tightly as he thought that, he could feel it start to ache.

-Yes...i mean i thought...i thought you knew that...- her eyes once again scanned his face.

Anger. Now he felt frustrated at the lack of sense he was finding in her words, how was he supposed to know? They had had so many moments together, didn't that mean more? Wasn't it obvious?  
Was he misunderstanding this situation entirely??

-No i didn't fucking know that, what about the night at the bar??  
Hell what about the other night?!- his hands extended as if he were screaming for her to see it- What about the first night??-

Her head tilted and she hesitated before speaking.

Those nights had something in common, they always ended in sex, and Philip saw what he thought she meant, she was looking for comfort, for distraction, and by fucking him she seemed to find it, this only made him hurt more.

-I thought you were just, i don't know...being nice, then having sex, i thought that's just what it was...- she shrugged lazily.

So now she thought he was the one using her and her sadness to get in her pants? His mouth opened and curled in shock, he knew he hadn't always been the most sensitive with his relationships but he wasn't like that.

-No!! You think I'd do those things just for the sex?? You think i can't actually care about you???-

He insinuated with these words, and he looked at her the way someone looks at a person when they're waiting for them to realize how terrible what they just said sounds, he truly couldn't believe she was saying these things.

-But don't you think you'll get, you know, bored...and just, yknow, look for someone else?- she spoke slowly, looking at him as if he knew what the fuck she was talking about.

-What??-

-Philip i know you, i know you don't usually... stay with girls that much, maybe you like them yes but not for much- she shook her head and shrugged.

That was it, she was calling him a fuckboy, she thought he was just interested in fucking and then dumping her like a piece of meat after he was done. At this point he boiled in anger and hurt, his breathing was becoming deeper, and his head was sure to start aching soon from all the processing it was doing, of course she thought he was a whore, everyone did, no matter if it was his family, his friends, his ex girlfriends, everyone always spoke about him and his "reputation". Maybe some other day, maybe if it were coming from someone else, he would simply shrug it off, but from her, he didn't expect it from her, and the way she had just assumed it, it hurt him.

-You know me? Suddenly you know me?? You know what? I am fucking tired of people claiming to know me when all they think of me is that I'm a whore, but you think so too don't you? You think I'm just using you, you think I'm a fucking whore.- his voice became an angered yell.

-No Philip i...- 

-Don't fucking tell me no, i'm standing here telling you i want something more, telling you i actually like you, and you don't even fucking believe me, i thought you...- 

I thought you liked me too.

His breathing came out harsh and deep, his eyes stung.

I thought you cared for me.

\- I don't know what i thought, i thought you weren't like my family, i thought you didn't think i was a slut, but of course you do. Because that's all i am to everyone apparently.- he concluded.

Now her face did reflect a bit of awareness, and guilt, but Philip didn't notice, he wasn't looking at her, his gaze fallen to the floor, one of his hands on his hip and the other went over his brows, trying to smooth them from their stern glare, his lips pressed and his jaw clenched as his anger filled the quiet room, weighing on his shoulders. 

The longer the silence went on, the more his frustration simmered on her words, and on the embarrassment he felt right now, everyone saw him as the town man-whore. It wasn't exactly old news, but no one had ever actually been with him for that reason, he felt dirty, and guilty, because to be fair he had gained that reputation, nevertheless it didn't sum him up as a person.

But mostly, he was sad, because he actually wanted to be with her, maybe it wouldn't work, maybe they wouldn't fall in love and spend their lives together, but still he was so drawn to her, he thought there was something there, apparently there wasn't.

Once again time felt like it had slowed down, and her seconds of silence and doubt felt like long minutes until Philip decided he didn't want to be there anymore, and he ran a hand through his hair, shifting his position before turning on his back and walking out the door. She didn't follow him, that just made it worse, he paced across the street to his home and slammed the door once he was inside, walking to the living room, stopping and then continuing to the kitchen, then he grew frustrated at whatever nonsense he was doing, the stolen orgasm wasn't helping at all.

He was pent up on all corners, and so Philip, as someone guided by blind impulse, snatched the keys to his car and made his way out the door yet again, on the way to make what he knew was a stupid choice, but Philip was all about that, stupid choices and fucking with whatever walked. Or so his mind kept telling him.

The wheels of the Porsche screeched loudly breaking through the still calm air of the suburbs, followed by the roar of the engine as he steered away, he looked in the rearview mirror for a split second, with the smallest hope of seeing her come out at the sound of him driving off, before looking forward again. Wendy's voice took place on his head, going head to head with the intrusive thoughts of disappointed members of his family saying "That's so like Philip..." in their best resignation tone.

He sped all through town until he reached the street he was looking for, he made a close turn, a car honked behind him at his sudden action, he didn't give a damn, he stopped abruptly in front of the place half of him hoped was still where he'd find her and half of him didn't. Wendy kept off in his head, telling him how bad of an idea this was, and as always of course she was right. He stared at the glass windows of the hair salon, it was empty, which was perfect and terrible at the same time, he waited, his eyes twitching between looking away and staring intently.

-Stay in the car Philip...stay in the car...- he repeated to himself, his leg bouncing up and down.

He didn't actually want to do this, or did he? He honestly couldn't tell at this point, he knew by the time he could tell, it would be too late. Unless, by some power above, the hair salon were to be empty, and so he would have no choice but to not do it, and that would be for the best. He looked again, hoping no one would come out of the back, so that he wouldn't have an excuse to give in to some stupid impulse, but wasn't everything ruined either way?

Unfortunately, just as he was gaining the smallest, thinnest sliver of control, someone did come out of the back, leaning over the reception desk. And with a tight jaw, Philip took a deep breath and opened the car door, walking up to the entrance with a fake smile, because if the hair salon hadn't stayed empty, this had to happen.

Right?


	24. The Tables Have Turned

You watched Philip walk out the door with your stupidest dumbfounded face. As soon as he was out, you regretted everything you said, every word replayed in your head and for every word you wanted to punch yourself. It wasn't on purpose, you didn't mean to imply that he was a slut, he isn't, you don't think that, but in the moment you had to say something, and he took you by surprise, and words just stumbled out of you carelessly, and you hurt him.

Your hands ran through your hair, still processing everything he said and everything you said, you took a few steps to the door, suddenly realizing you couldn't just leave stuff like this, you stopped near the stairs when you heard the loud screeching of tires and the rumbling engine, you didn't need to walk out to know that was Philip.

He must've been so angry at you, and you couldn't blame him, yes you didn't owe him anything, but he wasn't wrong, he had been so good to you, and you had welcomed it more than happy, he let you cry on his chest, he dumped one of his old friends to be with you, he asked about Star Wars even though he didn't know a thing, but he knew it would make you smile, and it did.

Stupid fucking dumb bitch, you're a fucking idiot you dumb motherfucker fuck fuck FUCK!

-Hey...-

You turned to look up, at the top of the stairs stood Horry, one hand on the reel, he looked down at you with worry, his anger gone since he probably heard everything Philip said.

With a sigh you slumped down to sit at the bottom steps, you heard him walk down and sit next to you, your hands cupped your face, your emotions still mixed as you thought his were as well when he didn't say anything.

Your Monday had gone from worrying about Nick's outburst on your possessions to waiting for Philip to get back home, you tried calling twice, after the second time going to voicemail you thought maybe it'll be better to give it a little time, and during that time, you went through the trouble of going through everything you should've said instead.

***   
The morning after that, as you were leaving for work, you turned to close the door, and when you turned back, the black Porsche stopped in front of Philip's house, he took off his sunglasses before stepping out of the car and that's when he saw you.

His face was blank, you held his gaze, deciding whether or not you should say something, last time you didn't know what to say it only made things worse. He didn't look your way for too long, he simply shoved his hands on his pockets and turned, walking up the entrance to the house.

You sighed at yourself, an walked to work thinking what you were going to do, how would you get him to forgive you.

-Morning!- Erica smiled at you from the register when you walked in.

-Hey- you said, sighing again.

-What's up?- she asked casually.

You didn't want to bother Erica with all of your drama, but you also needed someone to talk to, you needed someone to see it from the outside, let you know what you were clearly missing.

-Well...do you have time?- you rubbed your temples, leaning against the counter.

-Shoot.- she said, crossing her arms with a small smile.

Erica didn't even know the half of it, you wondered if you really should tell her everything.

-I don't even know where to start...-

-How about the beginning?- 

You looked at her, almost with pity at the long story she was about to hear, you were about to ramble, so you took a deep breath and cocked a brow.

-Okay...-

And you told her everything, how you knew Philip from childhood, how you two just kinda became a thing, but not really, because you thought it was just sex, how he punched Nick, how he would lift your mood up when you were down, how he offered you to stay the other night and made sure you ate, how he tried and succeeded to lift your mood, the few little times he seemed to open up to you.

In the process of telling her the events of the last almost two months of your life, you started to realize what Philip was seeing. You understood that those small moments you thought you were just harmlessly crushing about him were a little bit more than that, and most importantly, he had those moments as well. 

The only difference really was that you pushed those moments away because you assumed Philip's character, when on the other hand, he embraced them and wanted to make more.

Once again you genuinely cursed yourself in three different languages at how many clear signs you hadn't noticed, like how amazed he looked when you put his brothers on place, or when he told you he had fun the morning after the bar, giving you his soft eyes, he didn't mean the sex, he meant the actual night, your company. Or just the day before when he had told you you were amazing, of course it wasn't because of some fucking popcorn, he actually meant it. Now it was just embarrassing.

-Wow...- Erica said slowly- Okay first of all, I'm glad you left Nick he seems like a total asshole.- you huffed a laugh- And second, I thought you said it was only infatuation?-

-Yes! At least that's what it was supposed to be...-

-So...do you like him too?- she asked, but it sounded like she wanted to affirm.

You looked down at your fidgeting hands, thinking. You remembered when he cuddled you the other night, how you thought about if your dad would've liked him, and you thought about how much you hated that you hurt him, how much you wanted him to know that wasn't how you really thought about him, you thought about him with a smile on your face, or a laugh, because he always makes you laugh, you think about the way he looks at you, like he wants to take in every line and curve, how he apologizes when he says something he shouldn't or how he never called you pigtails ever again.

-Yeah...i do like him...- your brows frowned softly.

Erica's smile extended, a knowing look in her eyes, to her it must've been so obvious that you were hooked on him since the moment it begun, you could feel how badly she wanted to say she told you so, and she had every fucking right.

-But...i told him really horrible things...things i didn't mean, i don't know if he wants to talk to me...- your voice grew quiet.

He looked so mad, and hurt, he said he thought you weren't like his family, he thought everyone saw him like that, you didn't want him to feel that way, he was so much more, he was sweet and fun, and sometimes he could be a little like a child but you actually liked that, and he was also caring.

-Well, that doesn't change the fact that you should...or that you want to, right?-

Your head tilted from side to side.

-Yeah, you're right...-

After that Louie came in to start the day, you would be lying if you said you didn't feel a tinge of nervousness when you saw him, you still felt bad about letting him down, but you tried your best and worked as efficiently as you could. Meanwhile your mind swirled emotions and thoughts around, you felt that sparkle of happiness you get when you realize you like someone, that feeling that makes you blush and smile like a shy little girl in a movie, but what would be great is if you had realized it before you told Philip all those awful implications. You thought about how you could fix it, the very first step was to apologize, you went through a few small speech options in your head until your day was almost done.

Deep breaths, you can do this, just apologize.

Yes because that will be enough, you called him a whore but hey! I'm sorry.

You shook your head walking through town, you didn't know if it'll be enough, you just knew that you had to ask him to forgive you, and that you wanted him, as much as he wanted you, because he had said so.

He wants you.

Another sigh, this time a bit nervous, escaped your lips at the thought of it, Philip Altman wanted you, you had to bite your lip and stop yourself from thinking about it, about dating him, getting to hug and kiss him whenever you pleased without wondering if it was a bit too intimate for an affair type of thing, have him over for lunch, maybe even cooking lunch together, although you weren't sure if he knew how to cook, if he did that would only make him about a hundred percent hotter.

By the time you came back to reality, you found yourself at the sidewalk in front of his house. First, you had to apologize.

You knew he was home, the Porsche was still parked where he left it this morning, so you walked forward to the entrance, and rang the doorbell, your leg bouncing in anticipation. When you heard the handle from the door turned your breath caught in your throat and you looked up, meeting Philip's eyes as he opened the door.

-Hey...- you said immediately.

His lips pressed together, and his stance shifted a bit.

-Hi.- he said bluntly, the blankness on his face foreign and uneasy to you.

You stood there, thinking of where to start, suddenly you were too preoccupied with looking at him, as if the little time since you last saw him this up close had been a year, he was almost as broad and tall as the door, which now was half open since you said hey, a clear sign that he wasn't too thrilled on having a conversation with you, this fed to the pressure of guilt in your chest and the nerves on your stomach.

-Um...- you started, tightening your jaw and blinking, before swallowing once- I just...i came here to apologize. I don't know why i said the things i said...I didn't, I don't mean them. I don't think you're a slut or a whore i really don't, in fact i feel like the derogatory meaning put into those words is just an awful way to make women feel bad for simply having an active sexual life...- 

What the fuck are you talking about?

Philip's lips pressed together tighter before he took a hard, clearly uneasy, breath, and you forced yourself to stop.

-I...it doesn't matter, what I'm saying is, I'm sorry.- he looked down at you again- It wasn't nice nor fair of me to just assume that you would never want me for more than just sex, and i just wanted you to know that. You have been really nice to me and you've been there for me even though you didn't have to, and...- 

Here goes nothing...

-And i like you too...- you swallowed when he stood straighter- And i do want something more...- 

That came out a bit quieter, you felt your heartbeat picking up at the realization and the reality of telling him out loud, you looked up at him with hopeful eyes, you were just waiting for his decision, you hoped it was enough.  
Thing is, he was taking a bit too long to answer, and your nerves were boiling, his gaze fell and his breathing was slow, he bit the inside of his cheek and a part of you told you that wasn't good.

-There's something you should know...- he said, finally.

Your stomach tightened, that wasn't exactly between the answers you had prepared yourself for him to give you, your brows furrowed. He looked uncomfortable, his eyes twitching and his jaw tightened like he was struggling to get the words out, almost like he was forcing them.

-I saw Chelsea, yesterday...- he gulped, and his gaze drifted to the side.

His tone and his choice of words told you everything you needed to know, he looked at you again, his eyes expressed regret, like he knew what he had done wasn't good but he did it anyways and now realizes he shouldn't have.

You were at loss for words, it wasn't cheating but fuck it sure felt like it, and with Chelsea, out of aaall the ex girlfriends, Chelsea. You had felt so bad about what you said, about the way you had thought about him like he was a fuckboy, and yet here you were, maybe he wanted you, but now you knew he didn't want you.

-So...the one thing you said you wouldn't do, the thing I'm coming here to apologize for implicating you would do...you did it.- 

-We didn't...it wasn't...- he shook his head, you didn't care, you didn't want to know.

Chelsea's words rang through your mind.

"We were really all over each other, could barely contain ourselves when we were together..."

-Did you go see her yes or no.- frustration could be heard in your voice, but it was highly overshadowed by hurt.

There was a beat of silence.

-Yes, i did...-

He doesn't want me.

You looked away, pursing your lips and biting your cheek to contain anger and tears.

Don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry

-I'm sorry...- he had the nerve to say.

You huffed an ironic laugh, you came here to apologize and now he was the one saying sorry, how fucking great, and yet so fucking hard to believe, how could he want to actually be with you when he went an fucked his ex right after telling you. Maybe he didn't actually fuck her, but still you knew that was his only intention when he saw her.

-I can't believe...I can't believe I thought...- you took a deep harsh breath.

I thought you liked me.

When you finally turned to face him, you felt the prickling of small tears.

I thought you cared about me.

-You know what? It doesn't matter...- you shrugged.

It didn't matter, why would it? It wasn't like he could take back what he did, you wondered if he actually wanted to, your conscience told you "no."  
You stood there, clutching your bag tightly over your shoulder, looking down briefly before looking up at him again, his brow fallen, his lips parted and slightly curled down, but he didn't do or say anything.

-Bye Philip...- your voice came softly before you turned on your heel and walked away.

When you crossed the street you heard the faint sound of his door closing, of course he didn't go after you. As you fumbled with your keys your eyes welled up and you wiped them with the back of your hand, sniffing as you felt a sob on your throat, you were not in the mood to explain to your mom and Horry your tears.

You felt stupid for crying, had you really gotten your hopes that high in the little time since you understood you liked him as well that the turn down hurt bad enough to cry like this?

You really did need a break, you had come here for a break, so that would make it a break from the break. That was stupid as well, what you meant was you needed a break from the drama that had grown from your life since you left Chicago, mostly surrounding men. 

Luckily you contained yourself enough to go through dinner, which consisted of a probably unhealthy amount of fettuccine alfredo, barely noticing your mom's slightly concerned look. You found yourself disappointed when you saw you didn't have any ice cream, instead you went for a shower, although the two didn't compare at all. 

Once in the shower, you were reminded of last weekend, when you were straddling a naked Philip in his tub, kissing him so slow, each of you just savoring the moment, and again you felt like crying, this time you did, after all who would judge you in the shower except yourself. Quiet but heavy tears streamed down your face and mixed with the hot water.

Thoughts of him and Chelsea flooded your mind when you went back to what he had said, thoughts of them in her apartment, probably decorated like a fucking Pinterest minimalistic decor picture. You thought back to this morning, when you saw him step out of his car, your mind couldn't help but to jump to conclusions, had he spent the night? You tried remembering if he had the same clothes on as the day before, but you couldn't.

Images of her thin but long legs wrapping around his waist took place in your brain next, her being held by Philip as she moaned in his ear and pulled his hair, calling him cupcake.

Your lip curled down in disgust at the thought, Chelsea's words ringing on your ears again.

Too bad he had to settle for less...

You had gotten into this knowing (thinking) you wouldn't get played, and you still did. To be fair, you felt dumb for thinking it wouldn't happen. What did you think was gonna happen? That you'd be the one to change who he had been since high school, that he'd hug you and kiss you and twirl you around from happiness and everything would be fine?

Things were never that simple, As you crawled, or better said dragged yourself, into bed, you rubbed your hands over your face, feeling stupid, and confused, you wished you still had dad's hoodie to snuggle to and fall asleep, or Philip's green shirt that fit you almost like a dress, or Philip himself for that matter. You forced yourself to get that thought out of your head, and instead fell asleep to your half empty bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/Gne8o_hfPuQ


	25. Thanksgiving

Not a single word had been spoken again between you and Philip since you stood at his door a little more than two weeks ago. You tried your best to act like you didn't care, because life went on and you wouldn't stop it just for a dumb affair gone wrong, you had bigger things to worry about.

Actually, you didn't. It was the first time this new, considerably more calm life was pissing you off, you didn't have reasons to complain or any cause for stress, and it was great, yeah, but that only meant more space for Philip in there, and more space to go over and over, kneading everything that happened, thinking of all the stuff you could've told him that last time instead of leaving with fading words and teary eyes.

You hated that you must've looked so naive and stupid, you hated that for some reason you were surprised at how little it had bothered him. Erica had been getting a good portion of this whole rambling in your head, she was so nice for listening to the same thing over and over, you tried your best to contain yourself the last week or so, after all the world didn't revolve around you.

All sense of progress from you trying not to care about the situation was lost when you were invited for Thanksgiving over at the Altman's house. 

To be fair they always invited your mom and Horry, it just so happened that this year you were here as well, but to you it was clearly a dick move from whoever was on shift up there for you to see him. The knot that formed on your stomach when your mom came to tell you proved how fake your disinterest in him was.

Coming closer to the time you were supposed to be there, you stood in the mirror with your outfit on, trying your best not to think how much better Chelsea would look in this same clothes, trying not to think about whether he'd invite her over as well or simply give you the nice gesture of having to deal only with being close to him. Even before picking your outfit, you found yourself wondering if you should go for something to make him want to hate himself for his actions, because although you were sad and so nervous you were actually kind of sweating despite the cold weather, you were not about to let it show. As far as he had to know, you cared just as little as he did.

The stab of pain in your chest still hadn't disappeared every time you thought about that, he didn't care, and it was still circling your mind, how he had gotten bored of you, and a bit quickly if you might add, which only made you sigh heavier in defeat, who cared if you looked good or not, you wouldn't be as hot as slim waist Chelsea.

A buzz coming from your phone called your attention, you walked over to the nightstand where it was charging, it was a text from Erica, as you unlocked your phone you caught Philip's contact name at the bottom of your chat list, with the last message sent, dated back to that Monday morning before he got mad at you, you were still scoffing at the irony.

Erica😚:  
Happy turkey day!!  
—  
Erica😚:  
Can i get your opinion??  
—

Following the texts were two mirror selfies of her wearing two different outfits, you swiped back and forth through both of them, and texted her to throw a jacket on the second one since it would get colder throughout the day, she thanked you and asked who you were spending the holiday with.

You:  
Take a wild guess...  
—  
Erica😚:  
No way.  
—  
You:  
Yup.   
—  
You:  
They invited us over, so i have no choice...  
—  
Erica😚:  
Make him regret being an asshole 😈  
—

You smiled down at your phone with that last text, she hyped you up a bit more and wished you good luck, but told you not to worry, he was the dumbass, not you. And maybe she was right, what hurt you was you really wished he wasn't like that, but you couldn't possibly control nor change someone.

You gave yourself one last quick check as you walked out the door following your mom and Horry, every step crossing the street made your stomach knot tighten, you wondered if the feeling would stop you from stuffing your face with food, it probably wouldn't, no fear could possibly scare away Thanksgiving food for you, the smell of the stuffing you were carrying was already making your mouth water, maybe you'd just focus on the food instead of the tall guy.

Another tug at the knot when Mrs Altman opened the door, no you wouldn't call her Hillary, that would make you special, and you weren't special, you kept reminding yourself about that. You hated that the sentiment only grew as you walked in the house where you suddenly realized so much of you and Philip had taken place, the sidewalk where he threw you over his shoulder, the entrance where he kissed you the morning after, the kitchen where he made you breakfast, again, making you feel special. 

You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to stop and keep it together, you were being a bit over dramatic, but you weren't sad, or well, you were sad, but you were mostly angry, you would've preferred him to treat you like a one night stand your whole affair instead of what actually happened.

As of now you were playing Tetris on the Altman's fridge trying to fit in what you had brought, you took a few smaller recipients out and staked them over the kitchen island as you fit your last tupperware inside, when you turned to grab the ones over the island the one on the top slid and fell, you gasped and shot a hand forward to grab it before a bigger hand caught it about a feet from the floor.

Closing your eyes and sighing in relief, you looked up thanking whoever saved you from a mess, but your words trailed off as you met Philip's dark caramel gaze looking down at you. 

-Oh...hi- your voice was a whisper, you cleared your throat.

Cursing your eyes for having a mind of his own, you looked him up and down quickly before catching yourself, he was wearing blue jeans and striped shirt with the long sleeves rolled up, his hair was as neat and wavy as always.

-Hey- he said a bit louder than you.

With a very small, polite smile, you turned to place the containers back inside the fridge, extending your hand for him to give you the one he caught, only briefly looking his way, when you were done you simply stood up and closed the fridge, in those few seconds you thought of what to say, you didn't have to say anything but you wouldn't just run away from the kitchen, you were adults, you could speak like normal people.

-Actually i...need to get the appetizers- he casually pointed to the fridge when you closed it, so you moved out of the way.

-Do you need help?- 

-Um...if you want you can help me place them on trays...- he said as he crouched in front of the fridge.

He took them out and left them in the island before turning to get the trays, meanwhile you undid the plastic wrap, and tried not to look at him too much, he had an effect on you you weren't comfortable with right now. There was silence as you moved the small array of food into trays, you could feel him standing close, close enough to get a faint smell of his cologne, fuck you liked that cologne, what even was it?

He cleared his throat and called your name, making you look up, thinking he'd say something related to your current task.

-I hate...this- he said, furrowing his brows at his own words- I just, I'm really sorry, and I've been meaning to tell you but i didn't know how.-

Your gaze went down again, you shook your head slightly, you guessed for the sake of any upcoming gathering between your two families who were unaware of your situation it would be a lot better if at least there wasn't an obvious thread of tension waiting to be cut, you guessed an olive branch was as good as it could get.

-It's fine it just...didn't work, i guess- you said softly.

He shifted in his spot before exhaling lightly through his nose and speaking again.

-No, no that's not,- he shook his head-That's not what i mean, i mean, i want it to work, i want to be with you and I'm sorry...- his hand gestured down as if establishing a point.

You looked briefly at his palm extended over the granite counter before trailing up his arms to meet his face. His eyes sported that soft look on them that made you melt, though in this scenario it was making you confused, even if he did want to give it a try, it wasn't a good idea, the guy had one fight with you and went off to fuck his ex girlfriend, no, as much as you wished it wouldn't have to go this way, it wasn't good for you, the red flags were waving right on your face.

-Look i don't know if a relationship would be a good idea after what you did...- you spoke slowly, trying to speak your words as least cruel as possible.

-I know what you're thinking, but Chelsea, she doesn't mean anything and...-

-But that's not the point!- you exclaimed, only loud enough for it not to be a scream, but it showed how little you wanted to hear about her- The point is you told me you were into me, and yes i said and i assumed things without really knowing but you went ahead and you did those exact things! You went looking for her, didn't you?-

-I know! I know...but i wish I hadn't!-he exclaimed in almost the same manner.

You threw your head back slightly and looked to the side, he was making it incredibly difficult for you to keep your sadness concealed in anger, it only frustrated you more that he regretted it (if he actually regretted it) because it meant that if only you had said the right words, or if only he hadn't followed his dick all the way to Chelsea, this wouldn't be happening.

-I'm being honest with you, i hate that i went to her because I didn't want her i wanted you, and I realized that so i left...- he continued, searching for your eyes.

There was something in his choice of words that planted the smallest seed of a doubt in you, did he actually sleep with Chelsea, or did he leave before that happened? You searched his face for the answer, that wouldn't really change much, but it would change something, something very small, maybe.

You decided it was better to just ask, after all what was the worse thing that could happen? He'd say yes and just confirm what you knew? Unfortunately you didn't find out, as you parted your mouth to ask your mom walked into the kitchen to help you carry the trays over to the living area.

After that, you knew you'd have to wait until you were alone again, if that even happened, to ask him. But you were doubting even asking him really, on one side it seemed like a stupid question, why would he tell you he went to see Chelsea if nothing even happened? But at the same time, you remembered him stammering at you that afternoon.

We didn't...It wasn't...  
He had said.

Then again he could've been stammering the words because he wanted to lie to you but you interrupted him before he could say anything else. It was a confusing situation where you didn't know what was honest, what wasn't, and what was true, and what wasn't. But you knew two things: if he actually liked you that much, he wouldn't have gone to her, sex or not. And two, he really did look sorry. You hated that last fact and how it reflected so clearly when he looked at you.

Dinner came, finally, giving you something to occupy your mind and drown you worries, food. Greasy, tasty and caloric food. It entertained you enough as chatter went around the table, you would nod and barely chime in every once in a while, always avoiding even looking in Philip's direction, since he was, unfortunately, seating in front of you. 

Everyone was here and the table was busy with sounds of clattering and words, Judd had brought what you assumed was his new girlfriend Philip had briefly mentioned once, and Paul was with his wife, you saw him laugh a couple of times, you almost grinned to yourself at how foreign the sight was, according to Philip's recollection of his older brother. Just as you lifted your glass to take a sip he stood up and asked for everyone's attention.

-We have an announcement to make...- he smiled down at his wife, who grabbed his hand affectionately- I wish Wendy was here to hear it but well- he cocked a brow- Annie is pregnant!- 

The couple smiled and everyone at the table beamed and cheered, Mrs Altman stood up and kissed his cheek, congratulating them, even Philip reached to pat his back, no jokes or mockery in between. You smiled at them as well, it was a genuine smile, you knew they had been trying to get pregnant for a while now, and they looked so happy about it, they deserved it.

-Well that makes 3 out of 4, it's only you left Philip- Judd leaned over to tease at him.

-Over my dead body, no offense guys- he said looking over at Paul and Annie, Paul shook his head.

That's when you realized where the topic was headed, and as a single woman on Thanksgiving, you took a sip of wine and waited for it.

-How about you Y/n? Any lucky guy that might've gotten you hooked?- Annie smiled at you.

There it is.

Annie was really nice, you liked her, really, but sometimes she could be a little like Mrs Altman, go figure, leave it to the Altmans to marry their mom.  
You stretched out your nicest smile and shook your head a little.

-I haven't had much luck dating lately, with the moving and everything. I'm focused on other stuff for now...- you dismissed.

And so, the actual Mrs Altman decided to chime in, well timed as always.

-Well Philip's very much single, you two would make a cute couple...- 

She almost blurted it out, as if she was waiting for the right time to say it, but it stopped you from taking another sip, Philip shot her some widened eyes and your mom chuckled, Horry briefly exchanged a sympathetic and knowing look with you, and Paul spoke.

-Don't do that to the poor girl mom, besides, she's way too good for you Philip- he said teasingly.

At this you lifted your white wine once again, thankful for taking small sips, otherwise it would be gone by now, as you lifted the glass and heard Paul chuckle, your eyes looked over at Philip, who was already looking forward at you. Everyone else went back to their plates, and it was a second in which you held each other's borderline melancholic gazes before he spoke.

-Probably, yeah...- he affirmed, keeping his eyes on you until you looked back down to your food.

Chatter went back to the usual topics after that, and after two glasses of wine, and a taste testing of pretty much everything on the table besides the brussels sprouts, which you were pretty sure were only touched by your weirdo of a brother, you were finally more relaxed and even actually enjoying yourself, you even spoke for a while with Judd's girlfriend, who's name you found out was Penny, she seemed like a lot of fun, she told you about her job at the ice skating ring, and you thought about how long it had been since you went ice skating.

You had all moved over to the living area again to sit more comfortably after the excessive ingestion of food, and around half an hour later you noticed Philip wasn't there, you didn't pay it any mind, you were rather distracted by your sudden crave for something sweet, just then your mom brought out the pecan pie and Mrs Altman trailed behind her with a handful of dessert plates and forks, you stepped forward to help and she thanked you.

-Honey could you go out and tell Philip he needs to come empty the dishwasher? I think he's outside somewhere- she smiled and pointed casually, turning to leave before you could even respond.

No, you didn't want to go looking for Philip, you cursed to yourself, hoping there wouldn't be another tension filled moment.

Philip's POV:

Philip didn't fuck Chelsea.

When he got out of the car, he thought he was done for, he thought that was it, he was going to have sex with her, then go back to his house pretending nothing happened, and probably hide it from the girl he actually wanted to be with, otherwise it would definitely be his demise.

He was smashing his lips on hers when he slid his hands from her thighs to her ass, and he didn't like it, it didn't feel good in his hands for some reason, so he slid them up until he reached her waist, and he stayed there, trying instead to distract himself by sucking on her neck, and that's when he felt it, he felt Chelsea's perfume, hell he could even fucking taste it, and he didn't like it, it wasn't homey and sweet and warm like his baby's scent, this one was way too sweet, too perfumey. 

He opened his eyes and pulled away to look down at Chelsea, but his eyes weren't really on her, he couldn't care less for her shiny smile, it wasn't like his baby's. He felt her running her hands up and down his chest before working on his belt.

She never got to undo it though, truth was Philip wasn't even hard, not one bit, because when he looked down at Chelsea, he was so disappointed that it wasn't her, he frowned and backed away, grabbing her wrists and taking them off his pants, he didn't want Chelsea, he wanted her, and even more, he wanted her to want him.

That afternoon Philip made progress he didn't bother in recognizing, who gave a fuck if he made progress when the girl he wanted had called him a whore, and she wasn't even wrong, after all, he'd come all the way here. He thought he could simply keep going with his life, that sadly he'd need to move on from something he never fully got, that was before she presented herself on his doorstep, looking guilty and apologizing sincerely, and then, what he feared yet wanted the most, she told him she liked him, she wanted more as well.

Had it been anyone else, Philip would've just lied, he wouldn't have said anything about going to Chelsea, they didn't have sex so it was fine, it wasn't even cheating right? But the thing was, he was looking down at her regretful, yet hopeful eyes, that waited excited for an answer, and he realized he just couldn't keep it from her, he even thought, for a second, that she might forgive him after he told her they didn't have sex.

Soon enough he found out he was wrong, she was hurt, and angry, Philip tried to explain, he said he was sorry, he truly was, and then he said it again today, tired of the silence, tired of wanting something more and not knowing if there wasn't the smallest of hopes for her to forgive him. Now he did see it as progress, and he wanted her to see that, but he couldn't force her, and he also understood how she saw it now, which only made it more difficult for him.

He took another long drag of his cigarette, brows pinched, gaze lost in the bushes of his backyard as he went deep in thought, thinking what he could possibly do for her to forgive him.

He heard someone clear their throat and he turned quickly, thinking he might've gotten caught in his bad habit, instead she was standing there, around ten feet away from him, her hands almost instantly started fidgeting when he turned.

-Your mom told me to tell you the dishwasher needed to be emptied...- she said, her expression blank.

He frowned, and then blinked a few times, his eyes looking away before looking at her again.

-I already did that this morning- he almost asked, a bit confused.

Her mouth let out the quietest 'oh', it didn't take him too long to guess why his mom had sent her. The day they argued at the front door his mom, being her nosey self, was listening from the kitchen, she wanted them to talk, he didn't know whether to thank her or be embarrassed yet again at her.

He blinked, shifting his position, taking a moment to look at her, her hair looked soft and her cheeks had that pinkish tone from the wine and the hot food, had he ever kissed her cheeks? Fuck he wanted to.   
There was another quiet moment, like back in the kitchen, she was about to tell him something and her mom came in, he needed to know what it was, hopeful.

-Is Wendy not coming?- she seemed to hesitate at the question, but relieved that she found something to say.

-No...- he started- Her husband had some work shit, like always...- Philip looked away briefly, he always worried about his sister's happiness, and the lack there of. 

She nodded, taking a deep breath and looking around, there was a silence before she spoke again.

-Can i ask you something?- she said quickly.

-Sure...- he looked at her with longing in his eyes and a knot on his belly.

-Did you sleep with her?- 

Of course he hadn't. Then again he didn't explicitly say it, could it change something? Could it give him a chance?

-No.- he almost exclaimed, shaking his head, he felt the need to be honest again- I stopped myself, and i left because...she wasn't you.- 

Her eyes barely expressed anything, any sign of relief, forgiveness, anger, nothing. She simply gave him a small nod and looked away, pursing her lips slightly.

He kept his eyes down again, away from her, he was such a fucking moron, felt so guilty he could barely look at her, but missed her so badly he wanted to take her in as much as he could, knowing he wouldn't get to nearly as much from that point on. But still, as he finished his cigarette he thought about her question, there had to be a reason she had asked, there had to be a reason she didn't just left after telling him about the dishwasher, he needed to say something now, anything.

-You look...really pretty...- his voice trailed off when he lifted his head and she wasn't there anymore, he heard the faint sound of the back door closing, and cursed himself.

But still, he could feel like something was different now, like she didn't just ask that question for nothing, he was in the line between giving up, considering what she said in the kitchen, and not giving up considering what she didn't say in the kitchen. Now he had the smallest, but still present, crumb of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell i have never experienced Thanksgiving in my life?


	26. Wet Dream And ABBA

-Erica it's barely December 10th!- you laughed, walking into the bakery to find Erica setting up Christmas decorations.

-What? I thought you liked Christmas!- she smiled with wide eyes.

-Oh I'm not complaining, I'm just saying...- you laughed again, taking off your scarf as you looked at the multi colored lights, smiling.

You did love Christmas, you always had, everything always looked so pretty during Christmas, everywhere people would hang lights and set up trees and mistletoes in every doorway, the streets always seemed brighter during Christmas, though you used to hate it when you worked on retail, you like everything about it, even wrapping presents, only thing you don't love is probably buying them.

-I saved the tree for last so you can help me if you want- she wiggled her brows at you.

-Ooh yayy!- you clapped.

Erica chuckled at your enthusiasm and you walked to the kitchen, leaving your stuff and tying your hair, getting ready to start your shift. As you were pre heating the oven Louie came in through the door, smiling through his mustache with a newspaper under his arm.

-Morning! Oh, do you mind if i borrow that when you're done?- you asked pointing at the rolled up paper.

-You can have it now if you want, i read it on the way here- he handed it to you and you unfolded it- Didn't know you read the newspaper- he looked over at you as he threw in his apron.

You shifted through the pages until you reached the very last few of them, the classifieds, you used to read it more, specially when you were in Chicago and it was your job, but since coming back here you found you had better things to do.

-I used to read it more, but now I'm just looking for a an apartment so...- you shrugged.

With everything that had happened in your life in the past few months, time had slipped off of you and the other day you realized that it was almost the end of the year and you had been living with your mom for around 2-3 months, so you decided since you did have a job now it was about time you found your own place again.

It had been really long since the last time you lived alone coming to think about it, if anything you had barely ever lived alone, you had your dorm to yourself for a few months before you found a roommate in college, and after that you lived with Nick for a long time, well, until this year basically. Speaking of him, you hadn't heard a word from your ex since the hoodie incident happened, you were still left with a sour taste in your mouth after that, but now you were pretty sure that had been the peak of his anger, still, it was a complete and absolute dick move, if you were being honest, probably the worst out of all the things that had happened.

You shook your thoughts away and breathed deeply as you dragged your finger through the pages, looking to circle something good to check out later before starting to work, there was no use in hurting about the past, it already happened, you can't change it, and you had already mourn it. That had been your mantra for around a week now, you had forced yourself not to think about the confusing Philip situation, trying not to focus on your torn feelings about it, hoping maybe they would go away like that, after all he never tried to talk to you or anything else since Thanksgiving, so that kind of proved your doubts.

There were a few possible options you took note of in the newspaper, instead of circling them you wrote the information on your phone and saved it for later so you could give Louie his newspaper back. Erica had told you about this place below her own, but the rent was a little too up there for living on your own.

Your wardrobe had been growing a little more again, and it was sure to grow more after Christmas, your mom knew about the clothes and you knew she was going to make sure she took the chance, you were usually very indecisive about what you wanted people to get you for Christmas, it was mostly because you always thought of things you needed but thought you didn't need anything until you realized you had been wearing the same old jeans for 2 years.

Hours went by at work as your mind filled with gibberish thoughts, thankfully they were nice thoughts, daydreams about having your own place, decorating it, who knew, maybe even get a pet in a near future, if the place was small, a cat, and if you managed to splurge in something bigger than a studio apartment, a dog.

When lunch break came along you blinked back to reality, looking over at the clock with delighted surprise at how fast you've been working. The small smirk in your face drifted away as you pulled your phone out, you had two and only two notifications, they were texts.

Messages (2)

Altman:  
Hey  
—  
Altman:  
Good morning   
—

There was a burning in your stomach, followed by a grumble, signaling how hungry you were, you looked at the texts for a few seconds before taking your eyes off of the screen and putting your phone back in your pocket, still that didn't stop your head from fixating on them, and painting your cheeks with pink as it took you back to last night's dream.

—————*—————

You laid on your side, sleepy and hot, your brows pinching as you tried to feel for the source of all that heat, when you stirred slightly, soft plush lips touched your skin, leaving slow, sensually gentle kisses up and down your neck, long muscular arms embraced you tightly, one of them cupped your breast, massaging it, rolling your nipple between thumb and index.

Your lips parted with a quiet gasp, all of a sudden lust and need pulsed at your core, you pressed your thighs together as you took in the sensations, the heat from the body behind you, their hand and lips on your skin, the feeling of the sheets and the smell on the pillow, you knew this wasn't your bed, and you knew without opening your eyes who was igniting your skin with his pouty mouth.

-Philip...- you sighed.

As you did so you lifted a blind hand, searching for him, you found the nape of his neck, his face buried in yours, your fingers slid up to tangle on his soft hair.

-Shhh...- he hushed you quietly as you rolled on your back, wanting to feel him more, you didn't know when but his hand ended up between your now open legs, slowly drawing one finger up and down your covered slit- I wanna make you feel good baby...- 

His voice was gruff but soft, his finger now pressing slightly over your clit, causing a small whimper to come out of your parted lips, you knew he was kissing your neck, but you could only focus on his torturous finger sliding on top of your wet panties. You tried opening your eyes to look at him, not only his body but him, his eyes, but you simply couldn't, all you knew was he was now above you, paused lips kissing, the faint sounds of them echoing, occasionally licking your skin, making you shudder under him.

Your hips bucked up and swayed, searching for more pressure, searching for his long fingers.

-You miss me...- he said, this time his tone wasn't lustful, it was genuine, he was making an observation that, at least at this exact moment, you couldn't deny.

-I miss you...- you repeated, half of your words a moan.

At that his kisses stopped, but his fingers pressed more against the wet fabric, still teasing you with slow movements, you twirled and tangled his hair in your fingers, your other hand found his bicep and caressed up and down. Trying to see him through the heated contact of your touch, identifying every known crevice of his skin. 

You felt his lips hovering the crook of your neck, his breaths hot, it was as if he was surprised by your words, and once again you tried opening your eyes in search for his, but instead he connected your mouths.

At the contact your mouth watered, you realized how much you wanted his lips, his mouth moved with yours in a wet, passionate kiss and you felt his fingers slide under your panties and spread your folds, coating them in your wetness, you moaned and swayed your hips against him again, your hands on his hair and neck, his naked body over yours, he was heavy for you but you couldn't care less, too enveloped in the search of his lips for you, for your contact and your affection, he kissed you like a needy, starving man, he kissed you like you had come back from the dead.

His digits circled your now bare clit and you moaned around his tongue, feeling his nose rub on your cheek, he breathed deeply as he increased his circles and switched from his index and middle fingers to his thumb, sliding the previous two inside you.

You mewled, delighted with the feeling, he curled them inside you, your walls tightening around them and your back arching once he pushed deeper and reached that spongy spot at the very back that made you gasp.

-Ah, yes yes- you panted, your words muffled by the constant contact of his pillowy lips over yours, but you didn't mind, his mouth was always enticing to you, soft pink marshmallows that squished your own.

His fingers increased their pace, rubbing on your walls and clit with calloused pads, your toes curled and your belly tingled with his touch, your hand gripping at his shoulder, eyes rolling back in satisfaction with stringed moans and whines expressing it, asking for more and more until your thighs trembled.

-You're so warm, so wet and tight, you wanna cum baby?- he breathed, now away from your lips but only by inches, you could feel him looking at you, but the shockwaves of your sensitive bundle of nerves being massaged sealed your eyelids shut.

-Philip...- was all you managed, followed by a chocked moan that was meant to be a "don't stop".

You were at the edge of bliss, the bed felt absent under you, everything around you did, you only felt and relished on his body on top of yours, and his fingers deep in your cunt curling and moving, making your body tense with your high.

You hugged his figure, your legs opened and bent at the knee, tensing up from your thighs to your toes, moans now escalating to screams as he thrusted his fingers into you, whispering praises and care into your ears, but you barely listened, it all overwhelmed you in the most gratifying way, climbing closer, and closer, so close...

—————*—————

And then you woke up. 

When you opened your eyes it was by looking for him, the dream feeling so real it left you thinking he was actually next to you, in reality, what he said was what had you searching for his skin. You missed him. You did. You were refusing to admit it, you were in denial some would say, but it wasn't that really, you weren't precisely denying that you missed him, you were ignoring it, hoping that at some point your feelings would catch up on the current situation between the two of you and they would disappear.

But they didn't, obviously, after you woke up and pointlessly looked for him in the dark for a few seconds, you realized this, and rubbed your face with a frustrated huff.

Now you were going over these feelings, your attention brought back to them by his two, seemingly harmless texts, you didn't open them, leaning against one of the kitchen tables as you took your lunch break with Erica, she had gone looking for a glass of water, when she came back you looked away from your phone with a pinched, irritated brow at your damn feelings.

-Everything okay?- she asked.

-Yeah, Philip texted me- you said as you brought the fork to your mouth.

-Oh really? What did he say?- if she was eager to know she didn't show it, you were thankful for that, but only a little, in reality you felt like rambling again.

-Nothing, just good morning- you shrugged- Probably just trying to vaguely keep me there...- you cocked a brow.

-Really? You think?-

When you looked up, your expressions of disbelief mimicked each others, neither of you really believed that, but then again you also believed he liked you, but he did, or he didn't? You were not very sure yet...

This only added to the frustration he was causing in your head, between thanksgiving, the wet dream, the lost orgasm you denied yourself as to not think about him after that dream, and his morning text, which you still wondered if it sounded guilty in his mind when he wrote or not, you were growing impatient and anxious.

You truly needed a little break, a little distraction.

-Hey you wanna do something tonight?- you asked Erica, remembering it was Thursday, so it wasn't totally out of place if you went out for a couple of drinks.

\- Sure! Are you thinking something like a movie and ice cream or drinks at a bar?-

Well, a movie and ice cream actually sounded good as well, curse you and your lazy self.

-Or if you want, my fiancé makes an amazing pizza from scratch, you could come for dinner, i wanted to introduce you guys anyways- her eyes lit up slightly as she said this.

Pizza from scratch sounded even better somehow, maybe a few glasses of good wine to go with it, the offer made your mouth water even though you were literally having lunch, when was the last time you had pizza? Right, back to Philip, again...

-Should i bring wine?- you asked eagerly, Erica nodded just as eagerly and you agreed to pizza and wine over at her place.

After that, you both left work, agreeing you'd be over there at 8, and you stopped to buy two bottles of wine, phone in hand typing down on Google what wine went best with pizza, and scrolling down to pretty much the cheapest option, after all, the holidays were coming up, which meant a lot of spending money.

By 7:45 you were ready and out the door, refrigerated bottles of wine in hand and waiting for the Uber, you were excited to meet Erica's fiancé, you had heard a lot about him, how they met, how he proposed, he seemed like a chill nice guy. You were also just a tad nervous, an old anxious feeling that dated all the way back to high-school where you were afraid you'd hang out at someone's house and it would be silent and awkward, on the way there, just incase, you thought of a number of topics.

You rang the buzzer on Erica's building, actually looking forward to food and alcohol and some fun company tonight, maybe to finally get your mind off of...that dream, again.  
Erica appeared coming down the stairs and opened the door for you, excited.

-Heyy!- 

She took the wine bottles so you wouldn't have to carry them up the stairs, it was a nice building, certainly a lot more neat than the ones back in Chicago, it was a shame they were expensive. The apartment was rather nice as well, there was a small hallway leading from the entrance to the living area, which had the dining table besides it and a small bar that divided that space from the kitchen, besides the kitchen another hallway extended, most likely to the bedroom and the bathroom, you guessed.

-This is Toby, Toby this is Y/n- she smiled and extended her arm between you and her fiancé.

You smiled as he got closer to shake your hand, a kitchen rag hanging from his shoulders, he must've been around Philip's height, he had long dark hair and a nice neat smile.

-It's cliché but I've heard so much about you- he chuckled, you mimicked him.

-Well I've heard much about you- you gestured towards him.

Erica was right, he did make a great pizza from scratch, it was crunchy but still a little chewy on top, he threw a bit of basil over the slices which gave it a really good flavor. You told them about life back in Chicago, about your job, you chuckled about the quarter life crisis you had gotten into when you came back here, but still, you were glad it happened, you were happy to be where it had gotten you.

Toby was really funny, he spoke with his hands a lot and you found Erica often looked at him with her chin resting on the heel of her palm, an enamored look and a grin on her face, you loved that, they seemed to be very in love, you knew you had never really looked at Nick that way, you hoped some day you would look at someone like that.

You were very wrong when you feared you wouldn't have any chemistry with Erica outside of work, in fact you were so wrong that after three glasses of wine (forth in hand) you were blasting Gimme Gimme Gimme by Abba and dancing with her while Toby shook his head and laughed as he did the dishes. Both of you were panting after your little number, sprawled over the couch with the music turned down to a more ambient volume.

-Hey so did Philip text you again?- she asked, you scoffed with a displeased expression in your face.

-I don't wanna keep rambling to you about that i feel so annoying- you giggled, slightly tipsy.

-Stop it. You're not annoying, he was a dick to you, he slept with that blonde bitch...- she shook her head, sipping on her wine.

You laughed with your eyes closed, sighing after and grabbing your glass, you cocked a brow.

-Technically he didn't...- you half murmured against the brim.

-What? Really?- her head shot up to look at you.

-Yeah...- you nodded, you leaned over your knees, holding your glass with both hands and running a finger around the brim, thinking back to his words- He said he stopped himself because she wasn't me, and so he left...-

Your head tilted her way with pursed lips, as if pitying something, she blinked.

-Damn, and did he seem...yknow, honest?- 

You shrugged, taking another sip, your glass almost empty and your cheeks hot.

-He looked pretty sincere i guess...but even like that he still went to her with that intention.-

-Yeah, that's also true...-

And even like that, you couldn't help but wonder if he was actually sorry, like he said in Thanksgiving, when he said he still wanted to try it, when he asked for forgiveness, but then he never tried to do it again in the time since that day, and a part of you kind of wanted him to.

-It's just...- you said, cocking a brow and shrugging again- The fact that he's not even trying...makes it so much worse...-

-So you'd forgive him if he tried?- 

Well, it wasn't exactly like that either, it was complicated, no, he didn't cheat, but he's also not supposed to look for his ex if he liked you as much as he said he did.

-You think I shouldn't?-

-No no, i mean, i think you know your situation and your feelings, so if you feel it could be right to forgive him i mean that's totally valid, i mean if stuff goes south again you can always simply leave.- she gestured with her arm.

You still couldn't tell if it would be right to forgive him, could you ever really tell without actually doing it first? But you did know you wanted to, your wet dream self said it, and felt it, you missed him.

-Yeah...- you looked away, as if considering something- I think it would take a big shot, but i could forgive him, i want to, at least, i just...- you looked at the dark tinted liquid in your glass, swirling it a little- I guess I need an incentive from his side...-

You gestured a bit dramatically as you said this, and feeling your eyelids get droopy and your words slurring a bit, you gathered it was time to go home, Erica hugged you goodbye and Toby gave you a fist bump, maybe he was drunk too? Either way it was cool, you liked him, you hoped he liked you too.

And you left happy that night, partly because of the booze yeah, but also because life lately had been good, you couldn't remember the last time a friend had invited you over and you had gotten drunk and danced together to Abba, it was truly a fun night, and as you let yourself fall on your bed with a sigh, you realized how much you had been needing one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't too interesting but i thought it was over all fun for a filler chapter, i actually like it lol
> 
> Don't worry, Philip's coming back next chapter 👀


	27. In A Galaxy Far, Far Away...

You were bored.

It was Friday, and Louie gave you the day off since you two had to work tomorrow all day for a catering order for an older couple that were celebrating 50 years of marriage and having a big reception for it, it was so wholesome, the husband had asked for a special marble cake since that was his wife's favorite, you thought it was really sweet how he had a grin on his face when he said it.

Around a week ago Mrs Altman had left for the start of her book tour, she tried postponing it until after the holidays but in the end she couldn't, your mom felt a little bit of sympathy for her since she thought it was actually due to the loss of her Husband, and how she could probably not bring herself to spend a time like that without him, in the end she wasn't wrong, Mrs Altman had called to let everyone including your family that she would come back for Christmas and New Years respectively and that you were more than invited to come, in the end your mom and her made a deal, Christmas at their house, New Years at yours. 

To you that simply translated to awkward Christmas with Philip and awkward New Years with Philip, you thought about just how out of place would you be if you asked Erica to spend it with you. Was that too rude? Probably. She had a family and a fiancé and you had bugged her enough with this whole thing, as a matter of fact, you ended up deciding you wouldn't let every single thing involving his presence be a sentence of uncomfortable tension between the two of you. You would have to spend time with him sooner or later, so you told yourself to suck it up and stop being a baby, he didn't care then neither did you.

But you were wrong.

The doorbell rang downstairs while you were folding some laundry in your bedroom, considering if you should buy an outfit or two for the holidays.

-I'll get it!!- Horry's yell echoed up the stairs stopping you from going down and getting the door.

A few moments later you heard him stomp upstairs and you turned when you heard him stand in your door, his brows stretched up in his best "get ready" expression.

-It's for you...- he cocked his head to the side and turned to leave.

You furrowed your brows and walked behind him, but he stayed upstairs, you peeked out the half opened door as you went down the last few steps, thinking how you didn't really know anyone that could be at your door.

Except well...the front door neighbor.

He had turned only partially while he waited for you to come to the door, looking around like someone does when they're waiting and don't really know what to do, he wasn't standing right in front of the door, he was just right down the step of the entrance, when he heard you open the door fully he turned to face forward again, meeting your face.

He was sporting a jacket where he had his hand stuffed inside the pockets, a plain shirt and some jeans, his hair wavy and black just the way you liked it, or well, the way it was, you corrected that last observation, you didn't care if you hadn't seen him since Thanksgiving, he wouldn't weaken you with his pooled honey eyes or his plush lips, you tried your hardest to focus on the confusion you were feeling at him standing there.

-Hey...- he begun, offering a small smile.

-Hi Philip- you told him, leaning against the doorframe, just hoping whatever he had to say wouldn't take too long, it was really cold.

-How are ya?- he asked casually, looking into your eyes, you shrugged.

-I'm good...- you nodded, still a bit confused.

-Good good...- he nodded back.

There was a short exchange of looks, scanning lost eyes from your side, and kind but trying to be casual from his, then he reached into his back pocket as he spoke.

-I have something...I thought maybe you'd like this...- he murmured the last part but only enough that you could still hear him.

He took out two rectangular pieces of carton paper, you eyed them for a second before you put together the familiar shape and today's date (December 18th), but you didn't want to say anything and be completely wrong.

-They're for um...The Force...- he checked the ticket to check he had gotten it right- "The Force Awakens"- he looked up at you, swallowing.

Your lips parted and you could swear on your grave your breath cut short for a second, how did he even get those? You tried buying them like three days after they were released and they were already sold out, Erica had two for tomorrow to go with Toby, she had promised not to spoil a single thing, and now Philip stood there with not one but two of them. Then it hit you, not one, but two of them, two tickets, for two people.

-And this is...- you blinked- What? Some type of bribe?- you gestured with your hands.

His brows pinched but then he shook his head.

-No, no, I bought them a while ago, before- he took a deep breath, looking down at them- Before everything went to shit basically- he said exhaling.

He gave you a short and shy smile after that when he looked up at you, by 'everything' you figured he meant you and him, and by 'shit' you figured he meant him.   
You looked at them, then at him, you wouldn't admit and fuck did it feel wrong but you wanted the damn tickets, you considered, but first you had to make sure, he got ahead of you.

-I just, well I didn't want them to go to waste and i know how much you wanted to see it.- he extended his hand out to give them to you, you quirked a brow- I promise, I bought them for you.- 

Fighting the most satisfied and eager grin, you took them slowly, looking at them, they were for tonight, you still couldn't help but feel like it was a little too...Nick, as weird as that sounds. He was the one to distract you with gifts to get you to forgive him.

-And...you expect me to go with you...- you said, looking up.

He shrugged like he didn't mind, but not too indifferent that he seemed like he didn't give a shit, you could tell he gave a shit, you couldn't blame him, it was his money.

-You can go with whoever you want, maybe your friend, the girl from work...Erica!- he nodded when he remembered the name- Or you can go alone, if you want...- he trailed off.

As he did so he looked up at you, you had only mentioned Erica to him about two times, her words rung around your mind as you tapped the tickets against your palm, looking at Philip.

"Did he seem...you know, honest?"

Did he look honest? You took the time to scan his features, every curl and every line his face was showing, to check for any red flags or signs that this wasn't sincere, that he wanted to look good in front of you so you would give him another chance, but then again wasn't that what you were hoping for? That he'd try?  
You went back to analyzing his face, his movements, his jaw was set, he kept swallowing every once in a while and his eyes looked at you with something that lingered sadness, he looked like a few weeks ago in the kitchen, when he told you he was sorry.

-I could ask Erica yeah...- you lied, nodding and pursing your mouth a bit.

-Yeah...- he nodded, agreeing- She likes Star Wars too right?-

You offered him a nod that he mimicked and looked down, biting his cheek before shifting in his position, mouth pressed into a straight line that read acceptance. In his expression you saw although a part of him hoped you'd wanna go with him, he wasn't expecting you to. If he didn't actually mean that then he sure as hell had some good acting skills.

-Do you wanna go with me?- you blurted out, looking at him with a more relaxed look.

His eyes visibly lit up, but only for a second before he shook his head, looking at you.

-I mean it you don't have to go with me.- he gestured with his arm.

-I wanna go with you- you stopped him.

The smallest smirk tugged at your lips, he did look like he meant it, trying incredibly hard to pretend like he wasn't gladly surprised you just said that, his mouth parting as he blinked.

-Unless you don't want to- you shrugged, looking away, you didn't mean that, but you were still testing him.

-No no! Yeah, sure, yeah.- he exclaimed, nodding.

Your smirk grew, your brows raised.

Just one last thing.

-It isn't a date.- you clarified.

-No, no...i know.- he said, nodding.

Once you got that out of the way, there was a pause of silence, he looked at you and you diverted your gaze down to the tickets, biting your cheek, you were still not 100% sure if you were making the right choice, but it was fucking Star Wars, the non-date would tell...  
When you looked up again to say goodbye, you found he was looking at you that way again, only there was a gleam of what felt like hope in his eyes, you gave him a small closed smile and turned.

-See you here at 8?- you called out, looking at him over your shoulder.

-It's...not a date!- he corrected himself and chuckled, you only flashed him another side smile before closing the door behind you.

Once the door was closed you looked down at the tickets and bit your lip, allowing yourself to finally smile as big as possible, and although you didn't know, Philip was doing so too on the other side of that door.

Philip's POV:

After she didn't answer his good morning text more than a week ago, he just sort of accepted his fate, he wasn't really sure what he would say if she answered, he didn't think before he sent them, he just wanted to talk to her, because he was so sorry, but when she didn't give him any sign of even wanting to reply to his texts, he figured it was time to back off, he had clearly fucked up enough, not that he didn't know that of course.

The tickets had been sitting on his bedside table for two days, he would eye them every time he woke up and when he'd go to sleep, hell he stayed up late last night thinking of what to do with them, or what he couldn't do, what he wanted to do. He wanted to go with her, he wanted to surprise her with them, he had been thinking about how happy she would be for a month. 

Then everything happened, he messed up, and now they were collecting dust on his bedside table.

Philip paced around in front of them this morning, hands on his hips and occasionally tapping over his mouth as he thought, would she even want them if they came from him? Would she even open the door? No that was ridiculous of course she would, right? Would she want to go with him? Of course not, he was a fucking asshole, not even he would want to go to the movies with him right now.

-Fuck it.- he sighed after staring at them for two full minutes.

He snatched them and stuffed them in his back pocket as if the poor tickets had anything to do with his much bigger problems right now, and he forced himself down the stairs and to the front door, freezing on the spot once his hand was on the doorknob. His eyes closed and he huffed through his nose, he had to place his feet firmly on earth, she wouldn't want to go with him, and that would be the best case scenario if she even took the tickets.

He wasn't expecting her to want to go with him, but a very small whisper in his chest just hoped that maybe, just maybe, she would.

And by some miracle, she did.

It wasn't a date but he couldn't help but feel like she was giving him a chance, regardless of that he thought he would take it as such, but also keep his distance, he didnt want her to believe he was taking the chance, because there really wasn't one, 'it wasn't a date', she said it, she just liked the movie, fuck he didn't even expect her to ask him to go. 

They walked their way to the movie theatre, he just wanted to walk besides her, though he was exceptionally focused in trying to understand why he seemed so desperate on the inside, his mind screaming and blaring alarms of almost celebration, there wasn't a single thing to celebrate, it was just a movie, she just wanted to watch the movie.

But why would she want to go with him out of everyone? He didn't know the first thing about Star Wars, well he did, but not enough to be skipping his way to the movies excited to see what the new movie had in store. She didn't talk and neither did he until they arrived, air so thin and thick you could cut it with a butcher's knife.

While they waited in line he took the liberty of looking at her, he was standing just behind and couldn't really admire her eyes or her lips like he wanted to, but he was more than happy that she was standing there with him because she wanted to.

-Y/n??- he was brought back from his gazing as he heard her name and watched her turn to her left.

He followed her movements and was met with none other than boner...Charlie (he kept having to correct himself on that one) approaching them.

Oh this is just fucking great.

-Oh of course you're here on premiere night you fucking nerd!- she teased him, laughing as they hugged.

Why is she teasing him?

Philip hated that her attention was so diverted to him, he wanted to get teased by her, in a very different way too, but that was a whole other subject.  
He hugged her until he met Philip's waiting stare, he already had his usual facade up and was grinning at him.

-Oh hey Philip, didn't take you for a Star Wars fan, no offense...- he chuckled.

He wasn't wrong, what got to Philip was how he was trying to mock him.

-Yeah well, didn't take you for a Rabbi- his grin extended and his eyes widened.

-Yes yes we are all full of surprises, hey where are you sitting?- she asked him, a bit too excited, Philip bit his cheek.

I swear to god boner if you sit near us...

-Um...- he eyed his ticket-  
Row 13 seat 7- he said.

Philip smirked. That was nowhere near where they were sitting. He watched as they rambled on and on about what to expect from the movie, they had a few theories, Charlie's were a bit more ridiculous but hers seemed to be a little more rational, he wouldn't know though, he was basing himself off of the summary she had given him that time in the bathtub. But he listened either way, she knew so much about all this shit, he didn't even know there was so much information about a movie saga, there was politics involved and everything, he was taken by surprise, also at how much her nerdy ways were getting him going, he furrowed his brows, since when was he turned on by Star Wars?

-There is no way Luke Skywalker joined the dark side and became Kylo Ren Charlie, that would just completely throw his character into the trash and with it the entire plot of the original episodes!- she gestured with her hands.

-It would still be interesting, don't tell me it wouldn't- his brows stretched up.

She scrunched her face at him, tilting her head from side to side in consideration, Philip smirked at how cute the gesture looked.

-Maybe...- she said slowly- But it would have to be great, like mind blowing, complete and absolute turn of events great. Otherwise it makes no sense, way too risky- she shook her head.

It wasn't Star Wars what was getting him slowly hot and heavy, it was her and her extensive knowledge and excitement about the franchise, how could she look so cute yet get him so hot? Why was it hot? Did it even matter? It sure as hell didn't to him.

She talked to Charlie until they entered the cinema room, for the first time in a while Philip felt totally out of place, trailing behind them in silence, maybe chuckling every once in a while or smiling at something she said, it felt weird not having anything to comment on, it brought him back to when he was younger and being around all his grownup siblings, that didn't really change much with time though.

When they looked for their seats, Philip brought his hand to rest over her lower back to guide her in the dim room, but stopped abruptly just as he was about to touch her, hesitating, asking himself if that would be too intimate, what in the world was up with him tonight? He felt like he was walking on egg shells, he kept cursing himself and furrowing his brows at his own unexpected worries. He just really didn't want to fuck it up, even if the air wasn't awkward between the two of them right now, it didn't mean their situation wasn't complicated anymore. As the lights from the room turned off he shifted in his seat and took a deep breath.

Just focus on the movie Philip...

Lucky for him, that wasn't too hard, the movie was surprisingly interesting, almost as surprising at how old Harrison Ford looked, he couldn't remember the last movie he saw with him, probably Indiana Jones. It wasn't too hard for him to understand what was going on, between her previous   
summary and the new plot, it wasn't too hard to catch up, that Kylo Ren guy had a cool lightsaber, he was definitely no Darth Vader, but he was pretty cool, at least that's what he thought until he took off his mask.

-Oh wow.- he heard her say, he glanced at her slowly to find her with furrowed brows and a mouth open agape, slowly stretching into a grin. She was fucking ogling at him.

Suddenly Kylo Ren wasn't so cool. Really, they could've gone with anything else, some ugly burns or a hideous alien form, no. The guy had to be hot. Or so she must've thought, he looked okay to Philip, had abnormally big lips. Unfortunately for him Kylo Ren spent about the entire second half of the movie helmetless, he was shocked when what followed from him taking his mask off again was Han Solo's death.

-Oh shit- he mumbled, actually surprised and kinda bummed, but from his side he heard a gasp.

He turned to find her at the edge of her seat, jaw slack and eyes so wide they looked like they would pop out any minute, and as the dramatic music turned sad and Han Solo fell into the abyss, her pretty eyes welled up with tears, covering her mouth as it curled down in sadness and the tears overflowed.  
This time he didn't hesitate to rub a consoling palm on her back, a sympathetic small smile on his face, she didn't acknowledge it, being too shocked and into the movie.

Your POV: 

You were at a loss for words, still kind of processing the movie, when the night started, you were a bit worried about coming with Philip, fearing it would be too awkward and you wouldn't enjoy the movie, you were more than wrong, thank god. As soon as the screen went black you anticipated, containing a wide smile as the blue writing appeared at the center "A long time ago in a galaxy far far away..."

The blaring music of the Star Wars theme following brought you nostalgia and excitement, you were a bit disappointed to see the stormtrooper wasn't the one to wield the lightsaber but the scavenger who was surprisingly sensitive with the force, you weren't totally mad though, specially with the villain choice, the guy looked like a dark mysterious greek god, he took you completely off guard, you were expecting something repulsive and instead was met with an aquiline nose and a deep stare to melt an iceberg. The amount of tension that rose in that take once the mask was off, the attraction between Kylo and Rey, you could taste it, seriously that interrogation scene should've been rated R. 

Speaking of attraction, maybe you were just totally fangirling at this point, but there was no way in hell Poe and Finn weren't into each other, but it was a known fact that no huge franchise would dare make such a "risky" move as to actually embrace the chance to have some good diversity, deep down you crossed your fingers for it to happen. 

Though no matter how hot Kylo Ren was, or how much you were hoping for some lgbt+ representation for once, you still ached at the loss of Han, you always liked him, Luke was nice but he was too nice, too much of a goody-goody for your taste, you could relate to Han and Leia a lot more, he also kind of reminded you of your dad, only with a bigger attitude, when you saw him appear on screen with Chewie by his side you wanted to squeal, now all you could muster as you walked into the cold air of the night was...

-I can't believe they killed him!- you exclaimed, Philip only smiled to himself, giving you a side glance- Ugh I'm gonna miss him so much, fuck...- you whined.

-Well at least the Kylo Ren dude wasn't Luke- he said, trying to provide some sort of comfort.

-Yeah i mean...i guess? But still, Kylo Ren! Ugh...- you shook your head, looking down- And he was so cute too...- you admitted, throwing your head back.

You knew maybe you were being a little too open an welcoming with Philip, to be honest you were wondering if it had been a good idea to invite him until the movie started, now you were just really sensitive and needed to rant, otherwise you would explode, considering you couldn't tell Erica anything until Sunday.

-Really??- Philip's brows knitted and his nose scrunched in disagreement.

You looked up at him briefly, he looked purposely unbothered, as if he were trying to look like so, you wondered if he was jealous.

-Yeah, is he not your type?- you joked, he was looking down as he huffed a laugh, then looked forward again, shrugging.

-Meh, he's okay...- 

You couldn't help the way you scoffed, he was more than okay, he was gorgeous, and had a really cool lightsaber.

-He looks short- Philip continued, your brows pinched as you turned to him.

-Short??-

-Yeah...-

-I...what does that have to do with anything? He can be short and still be hot- you tilted your head.

-Not the same.- he shook his head.

-Well let's check then...- you cocked a brow at him, pulling your phone out.

As you did so you noticed you were not too far from home, you also took notice of Philip's walk besides you, relaxed, without a rush, you glanced up at him, as if suddenly you remembered who it was you were walking with, it was probably the memory from the night of his birthday what made your eyes soften as they looked his way, only to quickly glue them back to your phone when you found he was already looking at you. You quickly googled the cast of the movie and found the actor, scrolling down his profile until his height came up, you smirked maliciously.

-How tall are you?- you said still looking at the screen.

-6 foot 2- he said with pride.

-The actor is 6 foot 3,- you cocked your head to the side- So i guess you're short...-

The smirk turned into a grin, he looked your way and parted his mouth to protest, but he just laughed at your reaction and so did you, breaking into chuckles around half a block away from your homes. When you arrived he walked up to the front door with you, and you reached for your keys, though you found you didn't want to open the door yet, they simply fidgeted in your hands and you looked up at him, he gifted you his stare.

-It's actually 6 foot 2.5...- he teased, you chuckled once more and he smiled, licking his lips.

As if he caught himself doing something he wasn't supposed to, he bit his cheek and looked away, but not for long before he was looking at you again, there was a small moment where you looked at each other like you used to, then it fade away, brought back to the present.

-I had fun...- you said, and you meant it.

-Yeah, me too- his eyes widened and he nodded as if he had zoned out.

Maybe if it were a real date, maybe if nothing had happened a few weeks ago, this would be the part where you'd kiss and leave with a smile, and a promise to see each other soon, but this wasn't a date, and what happened was real, and you still weren't sure if you forgave him, but it didn't seem like the right moment to kiss. You looked up at him as if you were trying to say sorry with your eyes, he looked so bummed out, like a kid when they have to leave a water park or something.

As if knowing perfectly well what you were thinking, he leaned over slowly and kissed your cheek, right next to your lips. It wasn't his signature kiss with a side hug you liked so much, it was hesitant, like he was expecting you to push him away, but lingering once he saw you didn't, like he was about to move over to your lips. 

You found yourself wishing he had, even slightly turning once he started to pull away, but he simply exchanged another look with you and his lips parted.

-Goodnight Y/n...- his tone was hushed, but sweet.

You watched him leave, feeling your heart thump a little louder but shrinking at the same time, a gap of guilt and sadness in your stomach before you decided to finally go in the house, he wasn't trying to make you feel guilty, you knew this much, but you still did, mostly because he truly looked so sorry and regretful. 

You felt like you had a choice to make, or rather you wanted to make that choice, because you could just simply leave things as they were, with plaintive looks and lingering cheek kisses. The skin of your cheek buzzed with the memory of his lips, so soft as always, god you missed those lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys fed up with the angst yet? 😂
> 
> The scene where he gives her the tickets was inspired and pretty much based on a part from the chapter "Shared Nostalgia" from the Kylo fic "Lucky" by bluedelilah , which if you haven't read you're missing out 🤚


	28. Coffee And Conditions

It was Monday, you had been holding it in all weekend knowing Erica would be watching the movie on Saturday, and even after that, you wanted to wait until you were together in person, so today you walked out of the house a little earlier and got there 10 minutes before your shift, skipping into the bakery with a huge grin.

-Hey, woah someone looks happy, you had a nice weekend?-

-Oh I don't know I did some laundry, saw The Force Awakens, no big deal...- you said casually, waiting to see her reaction.

-Wait you saw The Force Awakens??- her eyes widened and her mouth did too.

-Yes!!- you both squealed and she clapped her hands together- Can we please talk about Kylo Ren oh my GOD.- you pleaded.

-YES. We can because I can't talk about it with Toby- she grabbed your forearm and shook her head.

You were glad she agreed with you on just how pretty that man was, but you didn't stay on that subject for too long, not when so much had happened along the movie, you went back and forth, being sad about Han, then being sad about Chewie and Leia loosing Han, then being excited about a very scrawny Luke Skywalker coming up in the very end, and pretty much everything else about the movie, it was such a promising start for the sequels.

Now at lunch break you continued your rambling, you fetched her a few of your favorite takes and she fetched you some back as she dug into her sandwich.

-Poe Dameron's interrogation scene knocked the fucking air out of me, actually scratch that, Poe Dameron. Just Poe Dameron.- she gestured with her hand.

You nodded, she wasn't wrong.

-I feel like he's gay tho...- you tilted your head, narrowing your eyes at her in thought.

-Yeah but only for Finn- she shrugged and waited for you to agree.

-Mm yeah, fair enough- you chuckled with her.

-So wait you didn't tell me how you got the tickets, i thought they were sold out- her brows furrowed and she sat back on her chair.

You were leaning over the table against your forearms, moving the fork around your re heated lasagna and blinking before clearing your throat.

-About that...- you started, you knew she wouldn't scold you or anything, but you'd have to explain.

-What?- she narrowed her eyes but smiled at your suspense.

-Philip showed up at my door on Friday morning telling me he had tickets, that he had bought them a while ago but wanted me to have them because he knew I'd like to watch the movie- you explained, biting your lip to stop a grin from breaking lose.

-Oh wow...-Erica's brows stretched up, then she blinked as if slightly surprised but not really- So he just gave them to you?-

-Yeah, pretty much- that wasn't the whole story and you knew it.

She pursed her lips and nodded, eating the last of her sandwich and crushing the paper into a ball to throw in the trash.

-And did you go with someone or did you sell the ticket?- she laughed- I've heard of people that do that, it's not very nice but i mean if you have a spare ticket...- she shrugged.

A slight guilty and confessing look went her way from you as you took another bite to your mouth, wanting her to understand.

-What?- she smiled at your action.

-I didn't go alone...- you said slowly.

Her face went from a quizzical frown to a realization gasp in a second.

-You went with Philip??- she leaned forward.

You nodded slowly, then lifted your hands in surrender.

-In my defense, i told him it wasn't a date, and he understood, but I didn't just do it out of nowhere in fact I wasn't going to- you shrugged- He kept insisting that i should go with someone else, but he looked so...sorry, so regretful, and throughout the whole night he didn't flirt or anything and i just...- 

You trailed of with your hands gesturing around as if you just couldn't explain what had happened, but you already knew what happened.

As much as you had tried to, or wanted to, you couldn't ignore the whole thing anymore, not after last Friday, you missed him, and you liked him, and although 99% of your braincells were telling you that he was clearly very sorry and missed you too, that one little bastard percent couldn't help but make you doubt if it was a good idea to forgive him, if it wasn't just your liking for him blinding you to simply give him another chance to hurt you.

But that was also another thing, it was such a peculiar and complicated situation, he didn't cheat on you, not technically, but at the same time he might as well have, he told you how much he wanted to be with you and then completely took off any meaning those words had by fucking his ex, but he didn't fuck his ex, that only made it more complicated because is he a douchebag or is he not a douchebag??

And more importantly, does he deserve a second chance?

-I mean i know it's wrong, i know that there are so many red flags but i wanted him to try didn't i? And god Erica he got me tickets for Star Wars.- you leaned forward and accentuated- Star Wars.-

She was looking at you with a smirk now, you weren't giving her an explanation so she wouldn't scold you or something, it was more like letting out all the rambling inside your head, and desperately looking for someone to tell you what the right move would be.

-Y/n- Erica caught your attention- If you want to forgive him then just forgive him...- she shrugged, as if it were that simple.

But then again maybe it was that simple, you wanted to do it.

-But what if it's a mistake and i get hurt...- you shrugged as if it were obvious.

-What if it's not? Let's face it you won't know until you try it...- 

She was right, you considered it for a moment, you did like the idea, although you still had a bit of a sour taste about how things had happened, but maybe you could figure something out.

-Yeah, i know...Ugh...-you sighed and threw your head back, then you smirked-"I know what i have to do but I don't know if i have the strength to do it."- you recited dramatically.

-Oh my god you already know the lines- she laughed.

-Shut up we're both nerds- you scoffed jokingly.

-You wanna know what i would do?- she said as her giggling trailed off.

-Yes. Please.- you looked at her.

-I would give him the chance, but establish some limits, not in like a toxic way just like show him it won't be so easy.-

You nodded, crossing your arms and drifting your gaze, considering it. It wasn't a terrible idea, like an evaluation period kind of. Maybe it would give you time and a way of knowing if it was worth it and you weren't just jumping in his arms again, you didn't want it to look like that.

-Maybe one or two conditions?- you continued her idea.

-Exactly, yeah- she nodded.

Thinking about it, you couldn't come up with much, you didn't want to be too harsh, not like those jealous girls who don't trust their partner at all, after all, if you did get into a relationship with him, you had to trust him, though you didn't even know if you'd get into one. You thought back to what you said, what he said, and what he did, how you felt about it, thinking of his hands all over Chelsea, it made you cringe and your chest sting.

Before you went back to work, you pulled out your phone, the sooner you did this the less time you'd have to overthink it and doubt your own decision, you looked down at the name and took a deep breath, pressing the call button.

Philip's POV:

Store managing had been pretty fucking slow since Philip started, either that or Paul just didn't want to put him in charge of anything incase he fucked up, he knew it was probably the second option, which only made him angrier, he only wished Paul would give him some work to do, sure he liked not being buried in stuff but he wanted to actually do something.

Today, just like every morning, he would get up, drive to the store, spend his day over there, usually going over inventory and what not, sometimes exchanging a word or two with Horry, but since what happened between him and his sister, he usually tried to stay out of his way, Horry was a cool guy, but he didn't want to see him chase after him again with every intention of strangling him.

He was working on a store website, another take at showing Paul he could actually bring something to the business, bored as hell already, when his phone started buzzing, and to his surprise, it was her. He stood up, phone in hand, and took the call as soon and as fast as he could.

-Hi!- he said, a little too happy maybe.

He had been thinking about the other night all weekend, he didn't know if he had seized the chance she may have given him that night as well as he should've, all he knew was he wanted to give her space, he had tried basically begging her to forgive him on thanksgiving, and she didn't like it, that was why he didn't say it again on Friday, plus he knew she just wanted to watch the movie.

-Hey, um, are you busy later?- she said bluntly.

His heart thumped with hopes and nerves, he wasn't expecting that, for starters he wasn't expecting her to look his way again. What in the world was going on?

-No, no I'm not busy- he said, waiting for her to keep talking.

-I think we should talk, about...it.- she spoke carefully.

He was more than willing to talk, it scared him that she might just want to tell him to fuck off, but it also gave him a sliver of hope, and he couldn't help but lift his fist in mild victory.

-Yeah, sure, how about coffee? When you get off work?- he asked, walking around the small "office" at the back of the store.

-Yeah that sounds good- she agreed.

-Great- he smiled. 

-I get off at 6 today, I'll send you a text- 

-Yeah, awesome- again, a bit too eager for a possible rejection.

There was nothing exciting about a "we should talk", absolutely nothing, but maybe after Friday night, just maybe, it could be something positive.

-Alright, good, see you later then...-

Her tone seemed a little nicer before she hung up the phone, and it wasn't much but it did give Philip some mild relief, now his mind was in fact running, he wanted to keep his head busy, well he fucking had something to do it with now. 

He ran a hand through his hair as he made his way to the bakery where she told him to meet her, he was split between being excited to see her and being scared that he'd be assured of what an irredeemable asshole he was. Maybe that was a bit dramatic, he didn't think she'd actually make a whole scene out of it but he couldn't get his hopes up, as much as he wanted it to work and be with her, maybe she wouldn't agree and he couldn't blame her.

When he walked through the door she was sitting on one of the few small two people tables, he gave her a smile and she returned one a bit smaller, that made him feel a little better, this time he did hug her waist and kissed her cheek, she smelled like freshly baked cookies, although that was probably the bakery.

She looked backed and pointed casually behind the counter where the coffee maker sat.

-Do you want anything? I only really know how to make black coffee and lattes, Erica taught me- she laughed shortly.

-Um, coffee is good- he nodded and she walked over to the machine, Philip followed her slowly and stood close to the counter.

He remembered the last time he was here, he had made her blush and everything, he smirked when he thought about it, and watched her make two cups of coffee. He took a moment to look around at the small place, it was simple enough, but nice, he guessed maybe they put all their effort in the sweets, since they looked amazing.

-Did you make all of these?- he asked, looking around at the amount of options.

-Not really- she chuckled- I make the sweets and Louie usually takes care of the savory, he's better at it, has stronger hands so he can really go hand to hand with the doughs- she gave him a side smile.

Philip didn't want to look like it, he didn't have a right to, but a little spark of jealousy rose up to his chest, tensing him up for a second, he didn't know she had a coworker besides Erica, he didn't really know much about her job generally, but a guy with big hands could not be a good sign, specially since he had fucked up.

-Sugar?- 

Yes honey?

Philip stopped the joke from coming out of his mouth.

Terrible time.

-Uh yeah- he nodded.

She handed his mug to him, when Philip reached to take it, wrapping his fingers around it, he looked at her and offered a smile, scanning her features as if he hadn't done it a hundred times before, he noticed she had the smallest dust of flour on her chin. Likely out of instinct, he raised his opposite hand to cup her chin with his index, swiping his thumb over the powder. Her lips parted, but she didn't pull away, she didn't shake him off, she simply stared up at him, and ever so slightly he slowly caressed her skin with his thumb, this time in a tender motion, but broke the moment when he caught himself.

-You had some...- he motioned to himself before dismissing it- You wanted to talk?-

She blinked and closed her mouth.

-Yeah, yeah- she walked over to the table.

They sat down facing each other, her back was straight and her hands were on her lap in a calm contained manner, meanwhile Philip sat almost leaning over the table, but his leg bounced a little, a clear sign he was nervous, but expectant. She looked at him before looking down at her hands and pursing her lips, and then she looked up again.

-Listen um...I need you to understand why what you did hurt me, and why it's not so easy for me to just look past it.- she looked at him.

He guessed that was his cue to say something, and he breathed in, nodding.

-Okay...- he said.

By the look on her face maybe she was expecting something a little more solid, Philip scratched it as strike one, he hoped there were even strikes at this point. She took a deep breath through her mouth.

-I think i said some pretty harsh stuff that I didn't mean, and that I should've thought about before saying, you weren't the only one that messed up and I recognize that and I'm sorry...- 

Philip blinked, he wasn't expecting that to be honest.

-Still, you went for her, and i know we weren't anything but it hurt. Now i feel like it would be kinda hard for me to trust you and your feelings for me, if you even still have them...- she mumbled.

-I do.- Philip blurt out, she looked at him and nodded faintly.

There was a beat, Philip knew he had betrayed her trust even if he didn't cheat on her, he watched her take a deep breath.

-So...did you have sex with her?-she spoke before pressing her lips together.

-No.-he shook his head- I didn't.-

-Did you kiss her?- 

Philip blinked, pressing his lips together, she waited for an answer but Philip thought at that point he was screwed, how could the answer to that question help him?

-I...- he started, looking at her.

-I wanna know how far you went with her.- she said at his hesitation- Did you kiss her?-

-Yes...- he sighed.

-Okay...- she said- Did you...touch her?-

-Yes...- he admitted, swallowing what felt like defeat, but he wouldn't give up so easily, he tried staying positive. If his answers were hesitant she most likely wouldn't believe them, he sat straighter.

-Did she touch you?-

-Barely-

-Was she naked?-

-No.-

Philip could see her jaw clench and relax, he debated whether that was a good sign, it took her a second or two to ask the next question.

-Why didn't you keep going?-

She knew the answer to that question, still he answered.

-She wasn't you-

She cocked her head to the side, looking away before gesturing.

-I know but...what made you stop?-

Philip thought back to that moment, though he didn't really want to, not his proudest moment that's for sure, he remembered kissing Chelsea's neck and smelling her obnoxious perfume. He knitted his brows in thought, would that be a valuable answer? Would it be the answer she wanted? All of this he thought in a second, he couldn't take too long to answer otherwise she would get impatient, he thought it best to tell the truth.

-She...didn't smell like you- he said slowly, lips parting, waiting for her reaction, her eyes narrowed baguely, and he felt the need to explain, it was a weird answer- You always smell really nice and welcoming, kinda like this place coming to think about it- he chuckled.

He looked around and pointed casually as he did, it only made sense that a place she spent so much time in left a scent on her, but even without the freshly baked goods smell impregnated in her skin, she still smelled soft, cozy, and sweet, sometimes kinda fruity if he really thought about it, probably her shampoo?  
A tug on her lips became a small smile, her gaze fell and he thought he saw a blush creep at her cheeks, but the smile brought him some relief, she looked up again, eyes gentle.

-I want to forgive you...- Philip braced himself- But I have some conditions...- she gestured with her hand, now over the table- I'm not sure if I'm gonna want a really serious thing, i just got off of one, and it sucked, and with what happened...I don't think I'm ready for that.- she shook her head.

Philip nodded, that was fine by him, he understood, at this point he was only waiting for her to tell him her decision, but he would still listen.

-I get that .- he gave her a small closed smile and she returned it.

-And two...- she lifted her chin slightly- We can't have sex until after New Years.-

She looked at him and for a brief second Philip scanned her face and blinked, asking himself if maybe she was joking, but she didn't look like that at all, he did some quick math on his head, ten days, it was ten days, or more, without sex. He looked at her again, remembering a few of those times he was with her but didn't necessarily want to fuck her, he really liked those moments.

-Okay, yeah...- he said, slowly but surely, and he chuckled.

She joined in on his small laugh, most likely at the way he was slightly taken aback by the rule, but he would do it, it wasn't like it was impossible, he had gone longer without sex. He wondered if he could ask her why she had decided on that specifically, he decided that maybe someday, but not today, too risky.

-Alright...- she finally said, shuffling on her seat as if she didn't know what to do next- Um, do you have anything you wanna tell me?-

Philip looked at her, of all the things he had thought he could say when he got here, none of them were really relevant right now, he was more than up for proving himself to her, well, maybe one thing wouldn't hurt to mention again.

-I'm sorry, again...for being a dick- he said leaning over, a soft look in his eyes- For being a Nick, pun intended.- he chuckled nervously.

Another close smile formed on her lips and she rolled her eyes shaking her head, visibly biting back her own laugh. Philip couldn't help a grin himself, watching her finally roll her eyes at him again.

-It's fine, we'll try it out- she nodded at him.

He looked at her, he really was sorry, he wasn't just fucking around, and he'll prove it to her, he'll show her that it could work out and that he wasn't everything everyone thought he was. There was a beat of comfortable silence and sweet smiles between the two of them, Philip let out a puff of air and relaxed on his seat, watching her finish her coffee, he smirked at her, happy and still a little struck at how things had worked out, he had been so worried and bummed about things not working between the two of them that right now he was just calming the butterflies in his stomach.

-Are you closing the place?- he asked, noticing how they were alone in the bakery.

-Oh, yeah- she looked over at the clock on the wall- In about 10 minutes, you can leave if you have to, I don't know if you have to go back to work?-

-Nah- Philip shook his head, sitting down in front of a laptop trying to impress his brother wasn't exactly what he'd call 'work'.

She closed the blinds and turned the lights off while Philip waited for her at the entrance, he watched her lock the door and turn to him, her eyes meeting his before she looked down again, fiddling with the keys in her hands like a few days ago, when he forced himself to keep his distance although he wanted to get closer so fucking bad, and he could've sworn she wanted him to as well.

-Can i kiss you?- he almost murmured, a bit surprised by how quiet his voice sounded while he looked down at her face.

She only nodded, though not hesitantly, and her eyes drifted down to his lips, or so he thought since his eyes went to hers before he took a step forward and paused, his body asking her silently to make the first move since he didn't want to overstep. Now her eyes were definitely on his lips, and her head angled to meet his mouth, but before she was the one to stretch up, Philip came down to very slowly rest his lips on hers, taking a breath in at the familiar and oh so missed sensation, he pulled away after what didn't feel like long enough, both of their eyes shut and their faces close enough to still feel the buzz left from each other's kiss.

She broke the tension this time, joining him and clashing with his lips halfway, it wasn't desperate or hungry, it was relishing, it was nice and fulfilling but not enough since they wouldn't split apart, she hummed softly against his lips as he moved to caress hers. Philip smiled when her hands carefully came up to rest on the back of his neck, fingers instinctively going to his hair, and he wrapped his arms around her, taking a sharp breath through his nose as he pulled her in.

The kiss didn't break, their lips slowly catching up with the last few weeks, and her arms extended up to wrap on his neck, Philip smiled between kisses and she mimicked him, the butterflies fluttering again in his belly as she giggled shortly against his mouth.


	29. Cream Pie

It turns out things had been a lot easier than you anticipated when you decided to talk to Philip and most likely forgive him.  
Not to be confused though, it wasn't easy, you were nervous and worried and had a knot in your stomach wondering whether he would take your conditions seriously, trying to solve conflicts is never not a little awkward.

But he calmed your nerves without being fully aware of it, with his gestures and the eager, awaiting look on his eyes, he seemed more than determined and invested. Besides, although you wouldn't admit it, as soon as you decided to forgive him, you were happy with that decision, because it was what you wanted. And when he asked to kiss you, in that little quiet tone, you could've melted and squirmed in happiness at the same time.

Even though all of it had happened barely yesterday, you found yourself smirking to yourself whenever you thought about it, as if you still couldn't believe it, you were content that now things had gone back to what they were before, and more, now you were more.

Another smirk, this time at the way he had pulled you in when he kissed you.

You threw the last batch of muffins in the oven and looked over to the clock on the wall, it was finally lunch break, you sighed in exhaustion, as every other business in the world, the holidays coming up meant more work than usual, and today you had officially begun the fuller days, lucky for you Louie was giving everyone a little vacation between Christmas Eve and the 4th of January, so you could relax for a while, maybe spend some more time with Philip since you two were together again.

The day wrapped up by cooking the gingerbread cookies for the houses you were going to build tomorrow to display. Your walk home was slow, not only because of exhaustion, but also because you took your time to enjoy all the Christmas lights and decorations being lit as the day turned to night. When you finally got home you sighed in relaxation and slumped up the stairs while your mom announced that dinner would be ready in an hour, you felt kind of bad that was your reality again, your mom calling you for dinner as if you weren't a grown adult, you really wanted to move out, and you were, very slowly, getting there, hopefully by March you'd be out of the house again.

In the cold pocket of your coat your phone started vibrating, you lifted it up with a furrowed brow that softened once you saw the name on the screen, you pressed the green button as you walked through the hall to your room.

-Hi...- you trailed off as a yawn took the place of your words. 

-Hey- Philip's tone lingered a bit like it always did, you smirked- How are you?-

-I am really cold.- you stated, letting yourself fall on the bed- And tired...but im good.-

-Want me to call tomorrow?- he asked at your slow voice.

You were actually glad he called, you kind of missed his voice, you missed him to be honest, already wanting to kiss him again.

-No no it's fine, what's up?- you looked up at the ceiling.

-I can't believe im gonna say this but it I'm at the office- he sighed, a little amused.

-You have an office?- you smiled, you knew he was working with his brother now, but you didn't think he'd have a whole office and everything.

-I know right? It's fucking weird- he almost exclaimed.

At that you laughed, and he followed. Philip in an office wasn't an image you could totally picture. You suddenly realized you could do this again, call and talk about random stuff and laugh, you missed it, it left you with a smile.

-It's cool, makes you seem serious...- you smirked at the image of Philip rolling around in one of those office chairs, distracting himself with anything except work.

-Hey im pretty damn serious, i used to work with alternative fuels and now i have my own business which my brother owns most of and won't let me touch- he explained in a fake proud manner, giving in to a chuckle at the end.

-Oh wow what a businessman you are- you laughed with sarcasm, rolling your eyes.

There was a beat of silence, you closed your eyes focusing on the other end of the line, you just knew he was smiling.

-So how is your work going?- 

-It's good- you sighed with a side smile- Louie is giving us a break from the 24th to the 4th so I'm looking forward to that-

-How nice of him...- he said in a tone you couldn't put together.

-He's really sweet, good to work with- you affirmed.

-Mmhm, so whatcha doing for Christmas?-

You frowned a little at how fast he seemed to have changed the subject, wasn't he the one that asked about work? Rubbing your eyes you decided you were too tired to look into that.

-We're going to your place, remember?-

-What?-

-Yeah...- you said slowly- Your mom invited us?-

There was a line of silence where you wondered if he even knew about his own family's plans for the holidays, apparently not.

-What the fuck she never told me anything...- he said a little confused- Do i have to cook??-

-I mean...- you thought- Probably, yeah- you laughed.

He groaned audibly and you could see him throwing his head back as he did so, you chuckled again.

-I guess you need to go grocery shopping Altman...- you teased.

-Fuck...- he sighed- Can you help me?- 

-Me?- you asked.

And you were a bit surprised, you knew Philip was a mama's boy but really? He couldn't cook by himself? You remembered then about how you had fantasized before of cooking with him, maybe you could teach him a thing or two.

-Yeah cmon, i need your expertise, it'll be fun!- he exclaimed.

It could be fun...

-Hmm...- you pretended to think about it.

-Pleaasee?- he lingered in a long plead.

You laughed at his child-like tone rolling your eyes, then you bit your lip, wondering how far you could go with this.

-Say "pretty please"- a small malicious grin spread on your lips.

You heard him huff a chuckle as you waited for it, you already decided you'd help him, you just wanted to mess with him.

-Pretty please will you help me? I'll be a good boy...- his voice came low and inquisitive.

Why did you like that?? And how did he always managed to spark something new in you?  
You could feel a tingle of excitement run through your stomach and a blush heat up your cheeks at his words.

-Okay...I'll help you.- you smirked.

He chuckled on the other side of the line, apparently your tone gave away how much you had liked that. Your eyes rolled but your cheeks blushed yet again, you were glad he wasn't there to be smug about it.

-I'll take my lunch break a little earlier tomorrow and we'll go grocery shopping, then I'm coming over when i get out, okay?- you said, turning to lay on your side.

-Sounds good...- he said softly, like you could hear the smile on his face, you smiled too.

-See you tomorrow Altman...- you grinned.

-Can't wait...- he said just as softly, and you knew he meant it.

***  
Turns out when you thought Philip could be a little childlike, you were wrong. He was a child. Seriously you had baby sat toddlers that behaved better than him at a grocery store.

-Don't touch that.- you said looking forward as you picked some apples for a pie.

From your peripheral vision you saw him snap his fingers back from picking up whatever it was that was piled up in a carefully built structure to display, he had already dropped two cans that you were now obligated to buy since he dented them.

When you turned your face to look at him with your best warning brow he was fighting back a devilish smirk and had his hands on his back, you shook your head and rolled your eyes, to which he laughed as you stepped forward, he pushed the shopping cart with his forearms and sighed, clearly getting bored.

-You know I'm not a kid right? I can pick up something at least...-

You scoffed with an ironic laugh, turning to look at him, he simply raised his shoulders and brows, insisting. 

-Okay.- you said as you stopped in a different isle- We need self raising flour-

-Self raising?-

-Yeah, self raising, for the pie- you explained.

-Isn't that just flour?- his brows pinched as he looked at you.

-No, it's a different type...- you sighed.

-There's more than one type??- he exclaimed looking at you like the existence of more than one flour was ridiculous.

You crossed your arms and sighed again, turning to look up at him.

-Yes. There is.- you cocked your head towards the shelves- Now get the self raising flour.-

He scoffed and turned to step forward, his eyes slowly roamed the different levels, packets and brands, he lifted his hand to reach for one (the wrong one) but drew it back to rest against his mouth hesitatingly, looking lost. There was a pause and then his eyes met a packet that he reached for, but before he took it, his head turned to look at you for approval.

You shook your head slowly, it wasn't the right one.

He looked back and pulled his hand away, his eyes traveled down to one of the lower shelves, you followed them and he extended his hand again and looked back at you. The whole action was kind of cute in it's own way, the way his eyes waited for your verdict.

You nodded with a small smile, that was the one.

With an accomplished grin he picked up the packet, taking a look at it before dropping it on the shopping cart and directing his smile to you, which made you smile back. You picked up some sugar next and you were ready to go, while you waited in line for the register you both were leaning over the cart, you felt him lean closer before his chin carefully came down to rest on your shoulder, one of his arms left the edge of the cart to wrap around your waist and you smiled as you felt him lean onto you just enough so he wouldn't feel too heavy over you, your hand came up to scratch the beard below his jaw and he hummed lightly.

You had to admit although he was pretty childish throughout the whole trip, it wasn't that terrible, you actually kind of enjoyed it, he insisted on carrying most of the stuff and although you knew you couldn't take that much you fought about it with him, not an actual fight but more like some friendly bickering. He shut the trunk of the fancy car and turned to you.

-Want me to drive you back?- he smirked, keys in hand.

-No thanks, I'll walk- you chuckled looking at the car for a second before you looked at him again.

-Oh come on...I'm going that way anyways just let me take you- he shrugged with a wide toothy smile.

-You are literally going the opposite way...- you laughed.

-Will you ever let me take you on the Porsche?- he shook his head at your stubbornness.

You took another glance at the all black vehicle, you just weren't one for cars, specially one Philip was so cocky about. It wasn't that you hated it, but it was fun to tease Philip.

-Maybe someday, but not today big guy- you cocked a brow.

He took a step forward to get closer, now less than a feet away from you, both your mouths were stretched into faint remains of smiles as you looked at each other before he leaned down to plant a soft kiss on your lips that you welcomed fondly, it lasted a few slow seconds before he split your mouths.

-I'll see you later...- his voice had gotten lower, like yesterday on the phone.

-Mhm...- you nodded, lips pursing to hold back a bigger smile at the sight of deep sweet eyes staring into yours.

***  
By the time you got out of work and arrived to Philip's house, the weather had grown increasingly cold and your hands were stuffed in your pockets, you yawned as you walked up the steps to the entrance and rang the doorbell. To be honest, although you were getting used to it, you were tired from standing all day at the bakery, but Philip looked so excited as he opened the door, his wide smile was contagious to you, not to mention the kiss on your cheek and the way he so eagerly walked in front of you to the kitchen, sleeves already rolled up and everything.

-Okay!- he clapped- Where do we start?-

You smirked at his excitement, chuckling at how you just knew it wouldn't last long, if he felt about cooking the same way he did about grocery shopping, he was going to get impatient rather quickly, but you took a breath in, you came prepared with patience for both, as you knew you would probably have to teach him everything.

-Let's start with the ham, it's gonna take the longest, mom is bringing a casserole so we can scratch that- you thought out loud.

You asked him to go grab the ham from the fridge while you looked at some of the spices Mrs Altman had around the kitchen.

-How long does the ham take?- 

-Well...- you cocked your head- It's fifteen minutes per pound, so this bad boy should take about two hours or so.-

-Two hours??- he said looking around at the ham as if calculating it himself.

-Yup.- you said- So we're gonna do that, and then while it cooks we'll make the mashed potatoes, and the last thing we do is gonna be the cream pie...- you explained as you placed the heavy piece of meat over a tray.

-I thought that was after New Years- he said not missing the opportunity.

-Ew.- you shook your head furrowing your brows.

-What?- he laughed, knowing very well 'what'

He chuckled again when you rolled your eyes and gave in to a small giggle, and after that you got to work. The ham didn't take too long to prepare, it was mostly it's stay in the oven that was long, you moved on to make some stuffing, and the apple pie, Philip stood besides you chopping (and eating) the apples while you made the crust.

When you weren't concentrated on your task, you were very aware of his tall presence besides you, your arms would touch every once in a while at how close you were, and you liked it, you liked having him this close again, even feeling the warmth radiate from him and the way you could feel his eyes gazing your way every few minutes.

You chatted a bit here and there, not about much really, he complained a bit about Paul, you told him about your search for an apartment and how you hadn't been too lucky on it so far.

-Do you need a roommate?- he said as he finished peeling the apples.

-Woah you're moving a little too fast there Altman- you walked past him heading over to the fridge to get the butter.

Yes you two were technically a couple now, but you weren't even sure about calling him your boyfriend yet, it just seemed a little, unreal? Out of place? You didn't know what it was, nevertheless you were pretty sure he was joking.

-What? I just asked if you needed a roommate- he shrugged pretending to be innocent, but a playful grin splayed on his face.

He was in fact joking, and you rolled your eyes at him, which only made him smile wider, and he leaned down to plant a kiss on your cheek that took you by surprise, still that didn't stop you from blushing about it.

Once he was done chopping the apples you took away the pan from him before he could melt them into the sugar and cinnamon, last thing you needed was a ruined pan.

-Noo no no sir, I'll take care of that. Thaank you.- 

He looked at you with his hands suspended in the air where he had been holding the utensil, a playfully shocked look on his face, he crossed his arms and kept that look in you as you placed the pan over the stove and sugar on it with a small tablespoon of water. 

-You know i can cook right?- he said with a growing grin.

-Really? Is that why i had to make a second batch of potatoes for stuffing because you forgot to stir them so they were burnt on one side?- you contained a laugh while you said so, you thought about how it was almost fun to have these discussions with giggles instead of actual fighting.

-Hey it was an honest mistake...- he shrugged- But i know how to cook, i make some fluffy pancakes yknow?-

-Oh yeah? How fluffy?-

-Fluffy as fuck.- he stated with a nod.

Your chest shook with another laugh that lingered in a wide smile, you sighed when the laughter fade away, a fluttering sensation left in your chest, you had been giggling and chuckling at him all day, it was nice, you were enjoying yourself, you could almost ignore the soreness in your legs from all the standing.

He was leaning back on the kitchen island, behind you but not out of your sight, with his arms crossed and his head slightly tilted.

-I can make them for you tomorrow if you want...- he said with a grin.

You turned to face him and shrugged.

-Sure, what time?-

-Why don't you stay the night?- he said a bit too quickly.

The pie was going in the oven as he said that, and when you closed it and turned around you saw how he was looking at you, you thought he'd want to attempt convincing you of breaking one of your conditions, probably the most important to you in fact, but as he walked closer his glinting eyes looked down at you with that softness you easily recognized.

-We can watch a movie, I'll even let you pick a Christmas movie if you like...- he raised a brow.

A closed smile tugged from your lips, you did like Christmas movies, and cuddling with him, god did you miss cuddling with him...

-That's okay, you pick the Christmas movie- you said, and he groaned falsely.

You went on to explain to him that you'd make the peaks of cream on the cream pie as the last thing right before dinner tomorrow, so that the peaks wouldn't fall, and chuckled as you mentioned how Louie didn't like to use whipped cream hardener and so if the were any peaks to be done in the bakery, they were done last minute, you heard Philip scoff to himself.

-What is it?- you asked casually.

-Nothing...didn't Louie take care of the savory side?- he asked, pretending to sound casual.

You took a moment to glance at him, taking notice of the subtle change in tone, it almost seemed like he didn't want to talk about Louie, so why did he ask? A suspicion clicked on you and you decided to test the waters.

-Well he's a baker he knows how to do both, but he usually takes care of doughs and stuff since his hands are bigger and stronger- you explained, side eyeing him as you watched him wash the plate in his hand a little harder.

-Hm, good for him...- he murmured.

Your eyes widened, he looked annoyed, almost angry, you almost wanted to laugh at the thought of him being jealous of your 60 year old boss, then again he didn't know him, which only made it ten times funnier.

-Are you jealous?- you chuckled.

-You know what? Maybe i am. I know I'm in no position to talk but i think maybe i have a right to be jealous.- he shrugged harshly.

-I'm not saying you don't, but you do realize he's my boss right?- you said, and you weren't done talking, but he interrupted.

-Yeah, the boss with big strong hands- he cocked a brow.

You had changed positions and you were now leaning back against the island with crossed arms.

-Oh and he's 62 by the way...- you said matter of factly.

He stopped and, looking at you for signs of a joke, he found none.

-Really?-

-Yeah!- you laughed- He's an old man Philip...he's literally a grandpa.-

He turned to face you, drying his hands on the rag hanging from his broad shoulder, and mouthed a shy and probably regretful, but still faintly relieved 'oh'  
You huffed a laugh and walked over to him, guiding his arms to wrap around your waist, your own going up to hang loosely from his neck, looking up at him.

-Besides, i have my own tall man with bug strong hands...- you smirked.

He returned the gesture and you stood on your tip toes to reach his lips, taking them in yours gently, enjoying their plush as he rubbed his thumb on your side and licked your bottom lip asking for passage into your mouth, you welcomed it and caressed the ends of his hair as he tilted his head and danced with your tongue, before a hum came out of you, you pulled away only slightly and pecked his lips once more before your body reached a point of calmness in which it started letting tiredness kick in and you let out a yawn.

-Let's call it a night...- you sighed against his shoulder.

You felt the small smile form on his face.

-Yeah, let's go cmon...- 

He guided you upstairs as he turned off all the lights, once in his bedroom he handed you that military green shirt you had worn the last couple of times, and you took it gladly along with some socks.

-You sleep with socks on?- he said while picking a movie on his laptop. 

-Some of us have really cold feet, we're not all some portable radiators you know?- you tilted your head as you finished slipping in the second sock and climbed besides him on the bed.

He had changed jeans for grey sweatpants and boy was he testing you with those, he looked so casually hot, you wondered if he was aware, he probably was, he wasn't blind. He ended up choosing Home Alone, a bit of a basic one but it wasn't bad, you weren't complaining considering he picked it out himself and was watching it without complaint, most probably because of the amount of comical injuries in it.

At one point you felt his arm hesitantly going over and resting on the headboard, though you had felt how it almost touched your shoulder. You smirked to yourself, it was a bit cute that he was patting around testing the terrain, but at the same time you didn't want it to be like that, you wouldn't have sex with him but he could touch you if he wanted to. In all honesty some cozy cuddling would be rather perfect right now.

You moved closer and leaned against his shoulder, placing your legs above his and getting comfortable, although you weren't over his chest, you still felt how his heartbeat was going a little more rapid, his arm slowly lowering itself over your shoulders, you smiled to yourself, letting yourself relax and melt once against against him as Kevin over on the screen realized he had been left behind.

That was pretty much all he needed to get comfortable again, he had wrapped his arms around you tighter and made you sit on his lap while he played with your hair lightly and you faintly rubbed your digits over his covered chest, trying your best not to fall asleep, though your sleepiness and eyelids were betraying you, at one point you let yourself relax so much your head fell forward before you caught yourself.

You blinked and rested your head once again over Philip's chest, with raised with a short laugh.

-You tired?- he said, though he already knew the answer.

-You have no idea...- 

-Yeah me too...- he kept running his fingers through your hair- Okay, bedtime, cmon.- 

His opposite hand, which was non tentatively resting over your bent knee, reached forward to shut the laptop, and you yawned long and deep, covering your mouth, you wiggled under the covers eagerly, already relishing and letting yourself be taken away by the comfortable bed and Philip's engraved aroma on the sheets.

To make it even better he slid next to you and against your body, wrapping his arms around your waist while you wrapped yours under his arms and around his back, humming as you basically cradled him, he buried his face in the crook of your neck, humming back satisfied and pulling you even closer.

As sleep called to you with a heavy enchanting sensation, you felt Philip's lips on your neck, kisses going behind your ears then down to the middle, running his nose along and making them soft, paused kisses. You hoped he wasn't trying to do what you thought he was trying to do when his hand came up and down caressing your side, you weren't complaining, but the kisses were getting wetter slowly, and his hand was going further down with each stroke.

-Philip.- 

-Mm?- he said smoothly right below your ear.

-Stop that.- you warned.

-What?- his tone was a little higher playing cluenesness. 

-I know what you're doing...- a sleepy sigh mixed with your words, still finding just a little more energy to tease.

-What?- he giggled- I just like to kiss your neck...-his lips started kissing again, you sighed- Thanks for helping me today baby...- he murmured very softly.

You thought about today as well, how you had enjoyed it even if you were dead tired right now, it was fun in a cute way, with all the in maturity and laughter filling the kitchen, and now twirling his dark waves around as he rested against your body. You could get used to this, you really hoped you would.

-It was my pleasure...-you said with closed eyes and a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay i think i need to clarify, Mrs Altman and Linda (y/n's mom) ARE NOT TOGETHER ROMANTICALLY IN THIS FIC. I took this decision before I started writing the fic because trust me, in the long run it works better, sorry if it disappointed anyone


	30. Mistletoe

You woke up to soft snoring, and a tickling in your nose, you scrunched it up as a reflex, rubbing against the pillow to scratch the sensation off and go back to sleep before you noticed the pillow was kind of tougher than last night. Slowly opening one eye to look at it you found it wasn't the pillow but Philip's shoulder, and when you looked up you found the tickling came from the beard on his chin.

As you turned your head slowly with a small smile, you saw the room was barely lit, and the sun was just starting to rise, so it must've been very early, and Philip was warm and his toned chest welcoming, it didn't take you too long to surrender back to sleep as you felt him pull you in tighter and nudge his nose in your hair.

When you woke up again, you couldn't feel the extra breathing pillow under your head, and with closed eyes you patted around the bed with an extended arm, searching for him so you could drag yourself back to his side and escape the cold. Your eyes opened confused when you couldn't find him.

-Philip?- you sat up on the bed.

Evidently he wasn't in the room, you lifted your phone and unplugged it to look at the time, it was nearly ten. After a few stretches and inhales of Philip's scent, you decided to go look for him, you wiggled out of the covers and hissed at the cold hitting your bare legs, once you got used to that you took a moment to get your thoughts straight.

You thought you should change, then you remembered Mrs Altman wasn't coming home until later in the afternoon, plus, you were too lazy and too comfortable in Philip's shirt to take it off, so you made your way to the bathroom, brushed your teeth and washed your face, and stumbled downstairs as you caught a sweet smell coming from there.

When you got down the stairs and looked into the kitchen, you stopped on your tracks to lean against the frame of the archway. He had his back to you and was moving around in the kitchen between the counter and the stove, lifting the pan that was over the fire to bring it to the plate, but you weren't focusing too much on that as you were focusing on him, tall, broad torso and shoulders that toned under the shirt, inky black waves that fell lusciously just under his ears, you wanted to ruffle his hair at the mere sight of them.

Your gaze drifted down as you bit your lip, watching the tall handsome man making breakfast, your eyes planted on his ass.

Fuck he even has a nice butt...

You had never noticed it but he did have a nice ass, you took another look up and down, you had to be honest, you could get used to that view.  
With a small smile you walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his waist to lean your head on his back.

-Morning...- he said looking back at you with a smirk.

-Hmm morning...- you sighed in a still slightly sleepy tone.

He turned slowly and this time his arms went around your waist as he leaned down and scattered a few paused kisses on your cheek and down your jaw, he stopped briefly to look at you before he smiled and kissed your lips, both your mouths opening to let the other one in, you hummed at the taste of toothpaste clashing with coffee and he pulled you in tighter. When the kiss deepened and your hands went to his hair, a feeling of light wetness and electricity shot in between your legs, had things been different you would've taken the kiss further, but there was a condition, and you stood by your reasons for it.

Thankfully he broke the kiss just then, though you almost whined at the loss of his embrace, he turned to grab a spatula and you spotted the pot of fresh coffee, walking over to it eagerly and pouring a mug and scooping some sugar into it, when you looked over at him he approached with a plate of two pancakes with a slice of butter in them and syrup dribbled in abundance, you giggled at his manners.

-I told you I'd make them to you so here you go...- he placed them on the counter in front of you and handed you a fork.

Your stomach grumbled at the sight and smell of the golden brown looking pancakes and you cut through them, noticing how the fork went through smoothly and how tall they were. He briefly turned to plate the last pancake on the stove for him while looking at you, waiting for your opinion, you chewed with a smile, they were actually really good.

-How are they?-

You cocked your head to the side, they were sweet, buttery and soft.

-Fluffy as fuck.- you stated with a nod.

He chuckled lightly and kept eating with you, after breakfast you went on to make the peaks of the cream pie and stuff it in the fridge with the rest of the stuff.

-So did Erica like the movie?- he asked stuffing his face with the last of his pancake.

You assume he was talking about Star Wars, you nodded lifting the mug to your lips and taking a sip.

-She did, yep- you took a pause and smirked- She liked Kylo Ren as well...-

-What is it about that guy? Honestly- he shrugged, you giggled against the edge of your mug- No really, he's covered head to toe in leather- 

As he said so he turned to look at you with a pinched brow and a dumbfounded look, you could only keep on grinning and chuckling at how exasperated he always got at the mention of the bad guy, you wondered if he was the cute jealous-but-not-insane typa guy.

Once you concluded everything was ready for the night, you headed out so you could start getting ready, promising Philip after a few pouts and puppy eyes that you'd try to sneak out and come back to sleep over.

You decided before you left that for now maybe it was better to keep the relationship from both your families, sure Horry knew, although he didn't know you had gotten back together, or together at last, whatever it was, it was still relatively fresh, and your families had a few things in common, they were nosy and could be pretty awkward, you weren't ready to deal with that, not yet at least, maybe after your little evaluation period.

You hated calling it that, but when you boiled it down that's what it was, and when you thought back to what happened you could guess they were justified, he accepted them after all, you just didn't want to be toxic, you had been picking your intentions apart since you forgave him.

***  
For once in a while, you did like how you looked, you had bought a buttoned red velveteen looking dress that you luckily had found in a size that fitted you nicely but didn't feel too tight, and paired it with tights and a black long sleeves tshirt underneath, you looked around in the mirror with a smile and ran a hand through your hair before heading downstairs and out to the Altman's.

Philip leaned forward to kiss your cheek fondly when you found him in his living room, he wrapped his signature arm around your waist, except as he kissed you he squeezed your side, a secret gesture since he couldn't kiss your lips, and he lingered over your cheek to whisper.

-You look beautiful-

You could feel his grin against your temple as a small smirk tugged at your lips. You cupped his neck and twirled a soft wave of his hair around your finger, returning the gesture, looking around to check that no one was watching, they were all saying hi to your mom and Horry and starting conversation as they walked into the room.

-You're not looking too bad yourself Altman...- you also whispered, watching him pull away with a smile.

He wore a deep pine green shirt with some jeans and a belt, the shirt had long sleeves rolled up, something you noticed he often did with long sleeves.

He took a step back before Mrs Altman came over to hug you and steal your attention. It wasn't too hard to keep to yourselves from stealing hugs or kisses, but looks, there were plenty of those, from the kitchen and into the dining area, when he asked you to pass the salt and purposely touched the tips of your fingers, and all throughout dinner, either he found you looking at him, or you found him looking at you.

Wendy was there with the kids, his husband was away at some work thing she didn't say much about, you could tell she was pissed and tired, thankfully dinner and wine was entertaining enough that she lightened up and everyone seemed to be having a nice time, Christmas lights twinkled in the back coming from the tree and a few columns here and there.

-Wait Philip you made this?- Judd asked, his fork pointed downwards towards the ham.

-Not that you guys care but i do know how to cook- he half joked- But, i did have help-

He looked over at you then and you met his gaze, you weren't expecting that, you didn't mind if he took all the credit, it would be a little suspicious that you came over to help him.

-Really?- Judd said, his eyes looking at you before going back to Philip.

-Yes, i did, Y/n came over and helped me a little- he gestured casually towards you.

There was a beat of silence before you relaxed a little your posture and followed his lead.

-Found him on the grocery store during my lunch break looking between two packs of flour...- you cocked a joking brow and took a sip of wine.

-Y/n be honest did he or did he not make you cook everything?- Judd continued as he cut another piece from his ham. Everyone chuckled at that and so did you.

-He behaved don't worry, I didn't need to pull him by the ears- you joked again, Judd and Paul didn't laugh too much at that, but Philip laughed loudly.

-I caught him one time as he was about to stick his fork inside the toaster, scared the crap out of me...- Wendy shook her head.

-You sure you didn't put him there? You were kind of mean- Paul joked this time.

Wendy scoffed at him with a smile and he chuckled, the subject was over after that and dinner went on nicely, your mom complimented you on the food and so did Mrs Altman at Philip, she looked rather proud of him, and he looked quite proud of himself, which made you smile. 

Philip's POV:

Thinking back he should've sat next to her at the table, he could've probably rest his hand over her thigh, nothing sexual, just wanting to touch and feel her, since they couldn't physically be out there about what they were. He didn't care if it was suspicious that she had come over to help him, he wanted to give her the credit where it was due, besides his siblings were right, he couldn't have cooked all of it and done it well.

Red had spread on her cheeks after dinner from the wine consumption, he really did like when they tainted like that, he wanted to kiss them even more, he wanted to kiss her even more, lucky for him he had thought about this and sneakily figured out a way. He was almost proud at how romantic he recognized the action to be, he didn't usually excel in romantic gestures, but this one had come to him easily, and he was even a little surprised about it.

Wendy seemed to be having a nice time, everyone was, but he was glad his sister looked happy, though he wondered if she felt that same happiness inside, but that didn't matter now, she was laughing and even playing with her kids, her stupid waste of a husband didn't appreciate her, Philip knew this, everyone knew this, but as he had always been told, he didn't meddle too much in grown ups business.

It was half past ten when they took the empty plates to the kitchen and everyone walked over to the living area for some pie and coffee, and Philip took his chance and lured her under the archway that opened to the backyard, some far away Christmas lights illuminated through the glass door.

-What are you doing?- she smiled up at him as he came to stand in front of her.

-Have i told you how good you look in that dress?-

-You have yes- she giggled- But thank you- 

There was a beat of silence where her brows raised, waiting for an explanation as to why he had pulled her away, he knew they couldn't disappear for too long before everyone noticed. He cocked his head up for her to look and once she did he grinned down at her as her eyes caught the small bundle of mistletoe hanging from the archway.

-Oh very smooth Altman...- she rolled her eyes and laughed.

He smiled bigger at the action, and took a small pause to look at her, there was a small star in her eyes from those far away lights scattered over his backyard, he remembered how big of a pain in the ass it was to set them up, but now it seemed so worth it.

-I don't make the rules- he shrugged with false innocence.

She bit her lip rolling her eyes again, and he laughed lowly as he leaned down to catch her lips slowly, he took her bottom lip in his and sucked it in lightly as he moved with a gentle and slow rhythm, he felt her hands cup his neck and bring him in closer, he smiled to that and placed his hands on her waist and deepened the kiss.

Before finally breaking the kiss she left a few pecks on his lips, and he gave her one long and lingering one, they stayed there, close to each other and smiling as his arms rested on her waist and her hands hung from his neck, he instinctively leaned his forehead against hers, and her thumb caressed the side of his neck.

-I've never been kissed under the mistletoe...- she giggled.

-What? Why??- he asked, dumbfounded.

-I don't know, just...never happened- she shrugged.

He couldn't believe that for one second, everyone should have a little cheesy kiss under the mistletoe, but he was more than happy that he was the one that got to give her that moment.

-We should probably go back...- she said looking over in the living room's direction.

-Probably...- he gave her one last peck- You go first, I'll wait a little and go after you-

She nodded and pulled away from his embrace, turning to smile at him as she walked away fidgeting with her hands, he chuckled softly as he watched her, still taking in the moment they just had before his eyes diverted to the kitchen archway where his sister was standing with a glass of wine almost empty and a devil's smirk.

-Really? Horry's sister?- she said with a scrunched mouth.

Philip sighed and rolled his eyes, knowing very well what was coming.

-Where you just standing there watching us kiss?- he asked with a pinched brow, hoping to divert the subject to her.

-Philip...- she warned.

-Fine, fine. I'm going out with the front door neighbor, happy?- he extended his arms.

She raised a hand and shrugged in a surrendering type of manner.

-Welcome to the club- she smiled, but raised a brow and gave him a look he knew all too well, it was the look he gave anyone when they were about to get called out.

-What are you gonna give me advice?- he half joked.

-Yes.- she nodded- Don't just fool around with her, she lives right across the street...Trust me you don't wanna see her pissed off face everytime you walk out to get the newspaper.- she cocked a brow before taking a sip of her wine.

Philip sighed, exasperated, he knew what his whole family thought of him every single time they saw him with a girl, and although she babied him a little more for being the youngest, her sister wasn't the exception.

-We're not just "fooling around", i actually like her- he explained, one hand in his pocket and the other gesturing to support his words.

-Really? Like you liked all of the others.- she said, matter of factly.

-No. - he stated- As a matter of fact no. I actually like her...a lot.- he trailed off.

He could feel his sister looking at him, better said, looking through him, but he had that on his favor, because he knew his eyes were giving away everything, and hopefully she could see that. Although he had to admit the slight vulnerability of the whole situation was making him a little uncomfortable, as if he was a deer in the headlights.

Her eyes finally stopped flinching around his face and her gesture turned into one of surprised confusion.

-Okay then...- her eyes narrowed, a small smile taking place on her mouth.

He looked away at the gesture, she would very much take advantage of her little brother being hooked on the neighbor, he knew it would arrive sooner or later when they told their families about them, this reminded him.

-Hey...um, we aren't really ready to tell anyone yet- he tried explaining.

He knew his sister wasn't very good at keeping stuff to herself, but he would have to insist, he knew she wasn't ready to tell her mum and to be honest he wasn't ready either, because of stuff exactly like this.

-Ohh cmon...- Wendy protested.

-Yeah i know you love to gossip but please, just this once, keep it to yourself...- 

-Ugh fine...fine.- she groaned.

He smirked at his sister's need for things to always be out there, she had done the same when Judd's ex wife cheated on him but he didn't want to tell, he really hoped Wendy wouldn't tell, but he'll let her know his sister knew, just incase. 

Later on the night wrapped up with full stomachs and his siblings quite tipsy, something he loved to see, he sat back watching them make a fool of themselves before everyone decided to call it a night, Wendy stayed over along with the kids and Judd did as well, he kissed his mom goodnight and went up to his room at around midnight, and forty or so minutes later he was laying in bed when his phone buzzed with a text.

Baby   
I'm outside  
__  
Baby  
Hurry up it's freezing  
__

He smiled to himself, happy she had managed to sneak out, and stood up, walking out of his room and down the stairs quiet as a mouse, a skill he had mastered during his teenage years, and very slowly opened the front door, she stood there with some leggings, a hoodie and boots.

-Hey, come in- he whispered.

They both scurried upstairs silently and Philip very slowly closed his bedroom door and wrapped his arms tightly around her before giving her some long deep kisses that she returned with a smile, he hummed, delighted that he could finally do that without having to be careful.

-Hmm you smell so good- he sighed against her lips.

He scattered kisses down her pretty cheeks and to her neck, where he inhaled the still present scent of her perfume. He felt her yawning besides his hair and gave her one last kiss on the neck.

-Let's go to bed...- she almost pouted, Philip nodded and walked besides the bed to slide under the covers.

He watched how she stood there and looked around before looking at him, he frowned, confused as to why she wasn't coming with him.

-Do you mind...can i have your shirt?- she asked quietly.

He almost beamed at the way she was shyly asking for his clothes, even though the hoodie she had on would most definitely provide more warmth.

-Over there, first drawer- he pointed, and watched as she opened the closet and found the shirt, sliding the hoodie over her head, he took notice of how she wasn't wearing a bra, and he took the small chance to look at her naked back before his shirt hid it from him.

She climbed besides him and laid with the covers up to her nose, snuggling tightly under them and humming satisfied, he huffed a laugh and leaned down to kiss her forehead and wiggle himself besides her, pulling her in under the covers, almost burying her small self under his long arms, and falling asleep to the slow rise and fall of her breathing, the last thing he felt was a kiss on his jaw.


	31. Christmas Morning

A soft buzzing came from under the pillow, you woke up with a sharp breath and slid your hand under to turn off the alarm you had set to sneak back out from Philip's, after all you had to be there for Christmas morning.

-You have to go?- came a sleepy mumbling voice from behind you.

-Yeah...- you mumbled back, setting your head back against the pillow.

He slid his arm up and around your waist and pulled you in, sighing as he nuzzled himself behind you, you rested your hand on top of his arm caressing it up and down, feeling his chest rising and falling against your back. You were so comfortable at that moment, you wished you didn't have to go back in secret so your mom wouldn't suspect or straight up find out, it was moments like those where you wondered just how bad would it if you just said 'fuck it' and let everyone find out about you two just so you could sleep in next to him. No maybe it wouldn't be bad, but you could only imagine your mom's face, and the numerous amount of inappropriate comments Mrs Altman would make given she already knew you both were kind of a thing.

As you turned to face Philip, looking at his messy hair and his parted mouth letting out an ocasional snore, you thought you could probably deal with them, sooner or later they would find out either way.

You reached forward to kiss the tip of his nose, knowing he wasn't fully asleep, you appreciated that he'd stay up and walk you to the door even though it was around seven in the morning. He hummed to let you know he was still awake.

-I gotta go...- you sighed as you sat up in bed and lifted the heavy blankets.

-Wait wait- his voice was heavy and sleepy, he sat up in bed and turned to his nightstand, reaching for the lamp to turn it on.

You were walking over to the closet when he spoke and called your attention, you turned around watching him open his drawer and taking out a medium wrapped box with a bow. With a small smile you walked back to bed and sat besides him at the edge of the mattress.

-Merry Christmas...- he whispered, rubbing his eyes with the opposite hand.

You honestly weren't expecting a gift, after all you had gotten together barely 5 days ago, and of course that wasn't enough time to think and buy a meaningful gift, still, apparently that didn't stop either of you. A small laugh escaped your lips as you left his gift to you on the bed and walked over to his closet, his eyes followed you slightly confused as you fumbled your arm around the back of his clothing racks before pulling out your own present for him.

-When did you put that in there?- he chuckled as you walked back to bed and climbed in front of him, handing him his gift.

-I had it under my hoodie last night, i wanted you to find it today- you smiled, he returned it- Merry Christmas-

He stayed smiling at you, his grin only stretching, before you giggled and took his gift, he watched you open it with pressed lips, you tore the paper and found a box with a number of things inside, a pair of red fuzzy socks with white snowflakes, another box with three hot chocolate bombs, and another, smaller, box that had golden details, it looked like a ring box but bigger.

Your brows furrowed as you took it out, looking at him, he simply smiled.

-Open it- 

When you lifted the top of the box you were met with a beautiful gold bracelet with a few very small star shaped gems, you wondered if they were diamonds, if they were then you suddenly felt very guilty for what you had gotten him.

-Philip it's beautiful, you didn't have to...- you trailed off, tilting your head to look at him.

-But i wanted to...- he smiled, leaning over to kiss your cheek twice, you giggled, a mixture between the tickling of his beard and a little at how happy you felt.

-Okay now open yours!- you rushed excited, watching as he drew back to tear at the paper- It's not a lot but i wanted to see you in it...- 

You felt kind of guilty you hadn't gotten him something a little more thoughtful, or expensive for that matter, you knew the bracelet had to be at least thirty dollars. He lifted it up to look at it, a small chuckle stretching his mouth as he shook his head at the ugly Christmas sweater.

-I don't think I've had one of these since i was like six and my mom forced us to wear them- he laughed, looking at you.

-Do you like it?- you asked watching his face, it still wasn't too clear to you.

-Yes! I love it- he raised his brows, leaning again to kiss your cheek and come down to kiss the corner of your lips- Thank you...- he murmured.

You smiled, he pulled away to look at you, staying close to your face and scanning it, you rubbed your thumb over his cheek, mimicking his actions and looking at him, noticing the plush of his lips, pouty from sleepiness, and the ruffled black of his hair. He was looking down at your lips as well when suddenly he got up and tugged at your arm for you to follow.

-What?- you smiled.

-I need you to brush your teeth i wanna kiss you.- 

You bit your lip and rolled your eyes as you were dragged into the small bathroom on his room, were you both brushed your teeth and discussed your little sharing-a-toothbrush habit.

-I should probably buy you a toothbrush so you can keep here right?-

For some reason the question send a small chill to your stomach, maybe it wasn't a big deal, but then again maybe it was, you knew you were spending lots of nights and would probably spend many more sleeping with him, but buying a toothbrush to sleep here would make it more...official? In a way? 

-Maybe i could also have one over at your place, you could keep it in a drawer- he chuckled as you brushed your teeth in silence.

Not that it was a bad idea...You didn't know if it scared you, but it certainly took you off guard how in a few days your relationship seemed to be going serious enough to be buying toothbrushes for each other. You leaned over the sink to spit as you thought of this, Philip looked forward into nothing with a little tiredness still in his eyes.

-Or maybe it could be like our thing, i dunno I've heard that people have those weird habits with their girlfriends or boyfriends that are kinda weird or disgusting but it's theirs...-

Oh god...

It just kept escalating, first the toothbrushes now the titles, it was so almost out of place to hear him, even indirectly, refer to you as his girlfriend, you could tell he was sleepy since you were sure he wouldn't say this stuff if he were thinking coherently, wouldn't he?

-Okay, done.- you said with a closed smile, shooing the nerves away.

He perked up at that, walking over to rest his hands over your waist and draw you closer, you came up to your tip toes to bring his cute face closer and kiss him, melting into the mint flavor on his lips, you felt how he started walking you backwards and you followed his lead, laughing softly as your lips captured each other's in a slow but increasingly passionate kiss. Your hands were up to his hair but your brow slightly furrowed when you felt the back of your legs hit the mattress and Philip kept on gently pushing you, hugging you as he lowered you both on the bed.

-Philip...- you started between kisses.

His lips sucked into yours, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip and dancing around in your mouth, he hummed when he left them, kissing his way down to your neck, you gripped at his shoulders as a second warning, he sucked on your skin, his hands caressing up and down your torso.

-Philip, stop...- you said in slight warning.

His movements came to a halt, his mouth lifting from your neck to hover his face over yours, looking down at you. You were liking it, yes, but when his lips were at your neck and his hands where rubbing at your curves and love handles, all you could think about was Chelsea, and your insecurities kicked in, you hated that, you hated that you thought you were being dramatic, and that that was the reason for you questioning your conditions.

-After New Years...- you blinked, giving him a smirk to try and deflect your emotions- I promise...-

-Can i ask you something?-

You knew the question was coming, you looked down, knowing you didn't want to see his face when he knew how ridiculous the answer was, how you kept thinking about how conventionally hot she was, and how you didn't feel that hot

-Why don't you want to have sex until New Years?- he asked softly, but not softly enough to give room for the lack of an answer.

-It's not that i don't want to...-you exhaled- Every time you touch me, or kiss my neck, i know it's stupid, but i can't help but think about you touching Chelsea...I don't know why, but it just pops into my mind and makes me feel self conscious.- you swallowed- I guess i thought if i waited a little it'll go away...-

Your eyes wouldn't budge from their position avoiding Philip's gaze, you swallowed at how silent he had gotten, you knew it was a dumb reason, maybe you were making a bigger deal than it already was but you couldn't help how you felt, you wished you could just ignore it and fuck him, God knows you wanted to.

-I know i fucked up, but i thought you had forgiven me...- he said, slight confusion on his tone.

-Yes! I did, i did and i believe you, i want to be with you but i just can't push it away, it won't last forever i just...need a little time...- you tried to explain.

He looked at you with a neutral expression and a sad brow, like he didn't understand, with a heavy sigh he pushed himself up from above you and walked over to his side of the bed, sitting down, you propped yourself up with your forearms, feeling a bit emptier at the loss of contact, but in reality what you felt was guilt, you knew he was getting frustrated, and you felt like he was disappointed, that's why you didn't want to tell him the reason, you didn't know if it was justified.

-It's not about you...- you said softly, your tone heavy.

-It feels like it's about me...- he said, still not facing you- I like you, not her.-

-I know you do- 

-Then why...- he stopped himself, exhaling through his nose- I don't understand it.-

You thought for a moment, you knew you had some complicated insecurities, to be honest you didn't fully understand it yourself, how you could know how much he wanted to be with you and still compare yourself to Chelsea, you wished you could punch her stupid whitened teeth.

-I don't ask you to get it i just ask you to...respect it- you answered, not in an angry tone, but more like a hopeful one.

-Yeah okay...- he said almost sincerely, but you could still hear disappointment in his voice.

Both sat there on the bed for a while longer, you reached for the box with his gifts, closing the small bracelet box after looking at it again, the room that was somehow content, comfortable and with a welcoming bed 20 minutes ago now was filled with heavy air from a non satisfying conclusion.

-I should go, mom doesn't wake up too late...- you explained in a whisper, it wasn't a lie, your mom was a bit of an early bird.

He turned to look at you and nodded, standing up to walk you to the door, you were about to follow him when you remembered you were still wearing his shirt, you hooked your fingers on the hem to pull it off before he stopped you.

-Keep it, if you want. It looks better on you- he gave you a smirk, briefly looking you up and down.

With your fingers still tugging at the hem, you rubbed the material in between your fingers, feeling how soft it was. You looked down at the shirt on you, watching as it fell down to your mid thigh, before turning and slipping on your leggings and grabbing the hoodie, followed by your gifts.

He walked in front of you as he went down the stairs silently and slowly opened the door, the moment you were about to leave, you wanted to ask if he was mad at you, or better said tired of your bullshit. His expression and movements weren't giving you much, he looked fine but not totally fine, but you couldn't just straight up ask him that without sounding desperate, looking up at him, you thought back to something.

-Can i kiss you?- you asked.

Now his face seemed to lighten a bit, another sympathetic smirk grew on his lips before he laughed shortly, showcasing his cute teeth.

-Of course.- he stated in a hushed tone.

It was your turn to lighten up and smile, taking a step forward and stretching up to meet his soft lips halfway as he angled his face down to give you two long pecks, he stood so tall you rested your hand on his shoulders for support, you loved it though, you always liked how tall and broad he was.

You walked into the chilly morning with a promise to talk later, although stuff still felt pretty tense, knowing he still wanted to kiss you made you hold a positive view over the matter, maybe he did think your condition was a little ridiculous, but you didn't want to focus on that right now, instead what you tried to keep from that morning was the warm sleepiness and the sweet gifts.

Philip's POV:

He knew he shouldn't have asked, it was private shit, if she didn't want to tell him, which she clearly didn't, why did he ask??

Philip beat himself up with this as he had breakfast, sitting in the kitchen alone, since he couldn't go back to sleep because the different voices in his head kept blabbering around, some of them about how it was a little insistent of him to ask, and others about the answer she gave him to his question. The fact that all she could think about when he touched her was him with Chelsea made him feel guilty, and also kind of defeated, it felt like she couldn't forgive him in a way.

His thoughts were interrupted by Wendy walking in the kitchen and giving him a small smile as she walked to the fridge.

-I couldn't sleep...- he explained without being asked to, like an idiot.

-Too busy helping Horry's sister sneak out of your room?- she said, leaning besides him on the kitchen island and sipping from her coffee.

He was about to play dumb at her question, but he reminded himself how that would only make his sister double on the annoyance and the nosiness, and he didn't feel like putting up with that right now, besides she already knew about them.

-How in the world did you know she was here, were you hiding in the ceiling or something?-

-You were the ones having your little discussion a bit too loud.- he looked at her- Don't worry i just heard something about needing time, and New Years...- she trailed off with a quizzical tone as if she were guessing.

Philip didn't say anything, instead he lowered his gaze back to the leftover pie he was having for breakfast along with some coffee, but he could feel his sister almost trying to read his mind.

-Trouble in paradise already?- 

-Nope.- he assured, hoping Wendy would get the hint, she did not.

-So what was that about?- Philip sighed at her insistence- What happened?- more silence- Is she mad at you?-

-No. She's not.- he assured, looking up and raising his brow at her- I fucked up, she gave me some conditions and forgave me.-

He explained this in an exasperated, vague way, he didn't need his sister nudging her nose in his business, not right now. She seemed to have gone quiet after that, but that didn't last long.

-What conditions?- 

-Can you look up the definition of privacy for me? I need to check something.- he mocked.

-Do you want my help or not?- she asked, annoyed for some reason.

-No, i didnt ask for your help!-

-But you want it- she cocked a brow.

-Jesus! No.- he stated.

-Oh come on!- she groaned- What is it with this family and secrets?-

-What is it with this family and boundaries?- Philip shot back.

-Oh my god Philip. It's not that private.- she narrowed her eyes at him, again, as if he was the one being ridiculous.

-How would you know?- he cocked a brow, his hands extended in exasperation.

-Maybe if you told me i would- she shrugged.

Philip threw his head back with an exhausted exhale and a long groan, he could've easily woken up the rest of his family with the volume of it.

-Fine. Fine!- he exclaimed, fed up- You wanna know so fucking bad??-

-Heyy! Watch the mouth.-

You literally taught me every curse word i know.

Philip sighed, defeated as he side eyed Wendy, trying to construct his words in an order that wouldn't exactly let her know every detail, it was still private after all, he was simply giving in because Wendy knew, and because it was Wendy, Philip was actually close to her, and they knew how to get each other to talk about stuff the other doesn't wanna talk about.

-She gave me two conditions, one of them is we can't...kiss, until after New Years...-

He explained slowly, cringing inside when he knew he had to use the word sex, he was close to his sister but not that close, if he used the word that would make it too real, he wasn't ready for the awkwardness of it.

-What?- Wendy asked with visible confusion.

Did he really need to spell it out for her? He opted for shooting her a look, thankfully she got it.

-Oh...- she realized- Smart girl...- she nodded with a raised brow.

Philip sighed again, this was terrible.

-Okay. So...this morning i...wanted to kiss her.- he cringed again- And she didn't want to, of course, and i asked why she didn't want to kiss me until after New Years. She said it was because every time we were about to kiss, she couldn't help but think about...how i fucked up.-

He caught himself right at the end, he was at the verge of spilling details he didn't want to share, like Chelsea, he knew what his sister would say, and he knew every word would be true, he had heard all of it in his head when it happened.

-Can i ask a question?- her tone was inquisitive.

-No.- he knew what she wanted to ask- So, i feel like if she still thinks about it, then she probably hasn't really forgiven me.- he ended with one more sigh- I also know i shouldn't have asked because it's so insensitive of me...- he gestured as if reciting what he knew his sister would say.

Wendy had a thoughtful yet slightly not surprised look on her face, her cup of coffee sat in between her hands, she gave Philip a hum and he narrowed his eyes at her, waiting for her to talk, because he just knew she had something to say about this.

-Okay so how long ago did you mess it up exactly?- she said, tilting her head forward as she waited for his answer.

-Around...a month ago?- Philip thought back- It was before Thanksgiving-

-And how big did you messed up?- she asked, almost knowing the answer.

Philip shuffled in his seat, running a hand through his face, not wanting to think back to it really, it had been stupid and embarrassing.

-Um...pretty big.- he said with pursed lips.

-Okay...If you did what i think you did, you're lucky she forgave you.- she cocked a brow, emphasizing the last sentence- But if you messed up that bad, and she can't stop thinking about it, it's probably because she hasn't gotten over it yet, i mean it hasn't been that long...- she shook her head lightly as she spoke- Some things you can't just forget about overnight just because you forgave someone.-

Philip's eyes drifted back over the pie, the pie she had made, he hadn't thought about it that way really, he thought he had made it clear how much he wanted her. He remembered how she said Chelsea made her self conscious, it was stupid to him, since he thought she was gorgeous, but clearly that wasn't obvious to her, now he understood a little more. Maybe talking to Wendy wasn't such a terrible idea after all, she was right, he was lucky she forgave him, and he didn't want to make her think he didn't know that.

-Good morning!- Philip heard his mom come in the kitchen.

Both him and Wendy turned to say hello to her, she was all dressed and ready to leave to continue her book tour right after lunch, which made Wendy and Philip exchange a look, they weren't mad, they just wished they wouldn't have to rush through the presents so she could leave on time.

As they stood up and walked to where the tree stood with all of the presents, Philip thought about how this would be their first Christmas without their dad, Philip's dad wasn't good at presents, his mom usually took care of them, he missed him still, he wondered if every Christmas would be like this now.

-Hey...- he called to Wendy before they joined the others- Thank you...-

She gave him a small smile, bringing her hand up to cup his cheek before they both walked over to the tree and started receiving their gifts. 

His mom was off to the airport by 1 pm, and Judd and Wendy would leave the next day at around the same time, and come back for New Years, so taking their itineraries in account, he figured he had time to take her out on a date the next day, an official first date. He sneaked into the backyard to dial her number and waited.

-Hey there- he heard her pick up, her voice cheery.

-How's Christmas going?- he asked, a smile already on his face.

-I am actually sipping on a melted hot chocolate bomb as we speak- she said matter of factly.

-Oh really? I'm glad you liked them...- he smiled, he heard her hum- So hey i was thinking, are you busy tomorrow?-

-I am not, why?-

-I wanted to ask you out...- he slowly walked around the spot he was standing in as he spoke.

-As in a date?- she chuckled.

-Yeah- he chuckled back.

He could bet good money she was smiling, in fact he could picture her, sitting on the sofa with a blanket, or maybe im bed, all cuddled up with a cup of hot cocoa on her hand, biting her lip as to contain a bigger smile like she always did.

-Sure, yeah...- she finally responded, and he could tell she was happy.

-Great!- he exclaimed- Oh i have some bad news though...-

-What is it?-

-You're gonna have to get on the Porsche...- he grinned to himself, now he could picture her rolling her eyes.

-Alright...- she sighed, then chuckled softly.

-Tomorrow? Eight o'clock?- he asked.

-Sounds good...- 

There was a beat of silence and smiles, and then she asked what he got for Christmas, and conversation sparked up again, Philip's fingers and nose felt frozen by the time they actually hanged up, talking about their respective families, their presents and just simple, random stuff.

The next day Philip woke up eager, not only was he taking her out he was taking her out on the Porsche, which was something he couldn't stop giggling about as an inside joke. He kissed her sister goodbye along with his nephew and niece, and gave Judd a short hug before everyone was gone and all that was left was for him to wait until it was time to get ready for their date, and he knew just what to wear.

Your POV:

A little relief washed over you when Philip asked you out, you weren't gonna lie, you still had the smallest fear that he was still frustrated about Christmas morning, but he seemed more than okay through the phone, which you took as a good sign.

You lied to your mom telling her you were going over to Erica's, she wasn't even in town, but you had to say something when she asked why you weren't going to be home for dinner as you finished getting ready. As the last piece, you opened the small box with the dainty gold bracelet inside and clasped it on the best you could using one hand, you looked at it on your wrist, it was really pretty.

Throwing on your coat and scarf you walked out the door screaming a goodbye to your mom when Philip texted you he was ready, as you were closing the door you saw him stand up from where he was leaning on non other than the Porsche, as he walked over to you you instantly noticed he was wearing the sweater you had gifted him.

You couldn't help a laugh that he mimicked before extending his arms and doing a little twirl. He actually looked good on it, the sleeves clinging to his toned arms, you couldn't decide if it was annoying or enticing

-How do you look good with an ugly Christmas sweater on??- you half joked.

-So you like it...- he wiggled his brows.

Of course he made you roll your eyes, which made him tug you by your coat and smash you against his chest as he leaned down to kiss you, you welcomed it with a smile, not really giving a damn if you were standing right outside your house. 

-Okay.- he said, pecking your lips- We're gonna be late, come on- 

He guided you to the passenger's seat and opened the door for you, you were met with a heavy scent of leather and air freshener, he had pulled the roof down because of the cold, the car was in it's entirety black, which made it look more elegant and luxurious than it already was, Philip got in and started it, stepping on the gas a few times so you could hear the car roaring to life.

Another roll of eyes you couldn't contain, you knew he was doing it to tease you, and he laughed as he pulled out of the street and drove in the direction of the town.

You looked out the window to the small amount of people walking the streets, all wearing multiple layers of warm clothing, going perfectly with the Christmas lights hanging from every shop of twisting around various columns. Noticing you were passing by all the restaurants, you paid more attention to the road again with a furrowed brow.

Philip drove throughout the whole town until he started getting into a more residential area again, but he took a turn and drove through a darker street until a big sign appeared next to what looked like a very big parking lot, the sign reading:

DRIVE IN!

HOLIDAYS SPECIAL!

THE GRINCH —— 6 pm

LOVE ACTUALLY —— 8:30 pm

LAST HOLIDAY —— 11 pm

You quickly realized what it was even before he turned and you saw the big screen that had been set up, he took you to a drive in cinema, a smile stretched on your face, looking over at him once he had found a place to park and was maneuvering the car into it. When he was done and looked at you, he mimicked your gesture.

-Not a lot of restaurants were open, i thought you'd like this, what do you think?- he looked around.

-You were right, i love it, drive ins are fun- you nodded.

You still had around ten minutes before the movie started, you liked that he chose a romantic movie too, though who doesn't like Love Actually? It's a classic.  
He shuffled on his seat slightly before you realized his hands were rubbing up and down his thighs, you looked at him to check for any discomfort he might have, and also just to look at him, his side profile was just as gorgeous as the front, you were watching with a small smile when you noticed his jaw clenching, bringing out his already defined jawline.

-Everything okay?- you asked him.

He turned to look at you with raised brows, he shook his head and pursed his lips, then he bit the inside of his cheek.

-I have a question...And don't worry you don't have to answer I'm just curious.- he explained quickly- I know that...this, isn't serious but, am i your boyfriend?-

Boy was he up with the hard questions today, but you guessed if you two were going to be a thing, it was easier to give it a title, after all you practically were his girlfriend, and you weren't gonna lie, you liked the idea of him being your boyfriend.

-Do you want to be my boyfriend?- you raised a brow looking him in the eyes.

His lips parted and then pressed into a pouty line, his head shook and he shrugged with one shoulder.

-Yeah, I'd like that...- he tilted his head, looking over at you again.

-Then yes, you are...- you smiled.

A small, closed side smile tugged from the corner of his mouth, and then it grew into a toothy grin, his eyes glinting as they looked down at your lips then back up at you.

-I wanted to tell you, I'm sorry for yesterday...I understand now why you have the reasons you do, i think...- he narrowed his eyes with a polite laugh- I won't push it anymore, i promise.- he stated with a nod- But i just want you to know how much i really do want you...-

You watched him talk with an expecting, parted mouth, watching him speak an apology slowly and carefully, you had been wondering if inside he was still frustrated or trying his hardest to be patient without really realizing why you needed him too, he was making a real effort, and all for you.

-You don't need to apologize...Maybe i should've told you from the start- you shrugged, thinking how looking back, maybe that wouldn't have been such a terrible idea- We can maybe, speed it up a little, if you want...- you said with a little guilt, and a little sympathy.

-No.- he shook his head, answering almost immediately, and you knew he meant it- All i want now... is to sit in this car that you hate...- he laughed with you- And watch this movie that you don't hate...-

He said so leaning closer to you, giving you a smirk and some raised brows, you broke into a giggle and a wide smile watching him, and cupped his face to stretch yourself forward and place your lips on his, tilting your head as his lips responded and moved with yours in a sweet and slow kiss with gentle tongues.

-Wanna sit on the back seat? It's better for cuddling...- he suggested against your mouth.

You pulled away with an approving hum and you both stepped out and back into the backseats, wiggling yourselves to the middle as to hold each other, Philip lifted your legs to place them over his thigh so they were left hanging, and the way you sat gave you the liberty to rest your head on his shoulder while comfortably looking at the screen, your arm slid behind the arm over your shoulders and found his hair to run your fingers through, feeling him relax besides you at the touch as the movie started.


	32. And A Happy New Year...

As you finished buttoning your blouse, you glanced at the screen of your phone to see the time, it was a quarter to nine, in only four hours the year would be over. You reminisced on this last year, something a bit corny but that you couldn't help but do every New Years Eve, last new years you were with your exes family, having fun, but not really with him, then throughout the year you lost your job, then your boyfriend, you moved back with your mom, but then you got another job, and now you got another boyfriend.

You smirked at the thought of it, Philip, your boyfriend. It still didn't feel real, you kept repeating it in your head, how that tall, brooding man with cute dimples was going out with you.

The doorbell rang while Horry was setting down the table and you were finishing up the fondant letters on your "Happy New Year!" cupcakes your mom had asked you to make, you wiped your fingers and trotted over to the door once you placed the dot of the exclamation mark on the frosting.

You opened to find Mrs Altman all dressed up with Philip standing behind her, holding what looked like a rotisserie chicken with a small closed smile. Mrs Altman, Hillary? You honestly didn't know at this point, she greeted you with a quick hug and walked away to find your mom, you turned to face a smiling Philip, who leaned down for a quick peck on the lips, keeping his eyes open to check no one was behind the two of you.

-Hey gorgeous...- he mumbled close to your face.

-Hey handsome- you giggled.

His smile only grew in size as did yours, he smelled of a delicious combination between conditioner and cologne, making your mouth water. Before you could turn and let him follow you inside he hugged your waist and kissed your cheek, but his hand didn't leave your lower back until you two walked into the dining room where your moms and Horry stood and kept walking to the kitchen, always staying close.

-Where did you buy this?- you said looking at the golden cooked bird, ornamented with rosemary all around.

-I didn't buy it, i made it- he raised his brows in pride.

You raised yours in surprise, your mouth opening in a silent gasp, it looked store bought which was the reason you asked in the first place, you could tell it was moist just by the sight of it.

-Are you proud of me?- he smiled.

Not only were you proud, you were weirdly turned on, the thought of him putting his effort on making an entire chicken on his own was getting you going, and if you took out the shirt and threw in an apron, the room started to get hot right away.

-Yeah i am, I'm very impressed- you smiled up at him.

Your arm went around his waist with the intention to kiss him again, and he started leaning down when you heard your mom's heels clicking closer on the floor and you stepped a good two or three steps away from each other.

Wendy, Judd and Paul got there not too long after that, Wendy smiled at you and hugged you a little tighter than last time, while Paul and Judd reframed to a short kiss on the cheek, the difference called your attention, but you brushed it away as everyone sat down for dinner, Philip and you sat facing each other, just like on Christmas, and exactly like Christmas dinner, silent looks and small concealed smiles were sent between the two of you.

Hillary and your mom rambled on and on about anything, Paul and his wife looked happy talking about her pregnancy going well, and Philip, being himself, bantered back and forth with teasing comments and embarrassing stories, it seemed like another dinner with the Altman's.

Annie talked started talking about this great bakery where she walked by a while ago and how they were thinking on ordering a cute cake for the baby shower, you were about to recommend your bakery when Judd asked her where she saw this one and she gave the exact directions to your work place.

-Oh that's my bakery!- you exclaimed, leaning over to look at Annie.

-Oh no way! Really?- she asked.

-Yeah, well it's not mine, i work there, I'd be making your cake- you shrugged while chuckling.

-Oh my god, i mean that's great! That's perfect!- she said in her usual cheery voice.

-She's a great baker, isn't she Philip?- Wendy asked, completely out of nowhere, catching you and Philip off guard.

There was silence spreading around the table, you and Philip exchanged a look of panic, your mind running a thousand miles trying to form a coherent answer, why were you panicking?

You saw Philip shoot a death glare Wendy's way, she simply sipped from her wine, giving him a fake innocent look.

Does she know??

-She is yeah, you made my birthday cake right?- Philip asked, casually as if he hadn't made you call him daddy the night before that.

-Yeah, yeah I remember...- you replied as casually.

Since that conversation had turned stale, everyone moved on from that small interaction rather quickly, thank god. Annie insisted on sending you some ideas for the cake and other stuff she wanted to have at the baby shower, you were more than happy to help her, and you also mentioned the bakery did catering.

As you sipped on your second glass of rosé, you recounted the people that already knew about you and Philip, Horry, his mom, and now most probably Wendy, in the middle of your little dissociation you felt something touch your feet, you looked down the table, finding Philip pressing the side of his shoe against yours, you took notice of how enormous his feet were compared to yours before looking up at him and chuckling when you found him smiling at you from across the table, you rolled your eyes, knowing what it did to him, and pressed your shoe against his in return.

A part of you kind of liked the little secrecy of the whole thing, stealing small kisses, finding alternatives to touch each other or excuses to be close, but you couldn't help but want him to sit next to you, you knew if he did his hand would be on your thigh the whole meal, or be able to kiss him freely or not having to plan how to sneak him in and out of your room like a couple having an affair.

-Oh, honey it's already eleven thirty, I'll take out the champagne, why don't you grab the cupcakes and we'll place them on the coffee table?- 

Your mom brought you back from your thoughts as you washed the dishes, you nodded at her and she took the champagne out of the fridge and grabbed as many glasses as she could with one hand.

-Why don't you tell Philip to help?- you said, taking your chance.

-Yeah I'll send him over- she nodded.

You hoped you didn't sound too eager, though you were sure your mom didn't suspect a thing. A few moments later Philip walked into the kitchen.

-Champagne glasses?- he asked, standing waiting for instructions.

-Over there- you cocked your head.

He walked over to the cupboard and started pulling out glasses, barely having to reach up to get them, when you were done with the dishes, you leaned on the counter, crossing your arms.

-Did you make those?- he signaled to the cupcakes.

-Yeah...-

-They look great- he smiled, walking over to look at them closely.

You hummed and smiled at him, walking over to stand next to him, you turned to look his way, biting the inside of your cheek.

-Hey, do you think Wendy knows?- you asked, furrowing your brows.

He sighed, looking over at you.

-She knows...she saw us kiss on Christmas, and she's been bugging me about it since...- he explained- I'm sorry-

You looked up at him again, blinking.

-Don't be sorry, it's fine, i mean...-

You tilted your head, thinking with a raised brow, at this point, it was pretty much useless to keep hiding it so meticulously, and to be completely honest, you didn't want to anymore, maybe the whole boyfriend thing had gotten to your head, but a part of you wasn't shying away from it anymore.

-Do you wanna tell them?- you asked slowly.

He seemed to be thinking about it for himself, though you weren't sure if he thought the same way you did.

-My mom's gonna make comments...- he thought out loud.

-She will-

-So will my brothers...- he tilted his head.

-They will- you nodded.

A smile appeared from the side of his lips.

-And do you think you can take it?- he joked.

You tilted your head from side to side, pretending to consider your possibilities very seriously.

-It's gonna be rough...But i think I'll make it through...- you stated dramatically.

As you both looked at each other, your chests shook with soft chuckling, shaking your heads simultaneously, thinking about what you both were about to get into, you bit your lip with a small tingle of nervousness.

-It's gonna be a fucking nightmare...- he groaned, you laughed.

His complaints ceased and he looked at you as you walked over and rested your hands on his chest, standing on your tip toes to peck his pout before you drew back and looked at him with a definitive sigh.

-Fuck it.- you stated.

The clock was five minutes away from hitting twelve, and then a New Year would start, your mom tried her best to keep anyone from lunging at the cupcakes before midnight came, champagne was served and passed as you all stood in the living area, Paul and Philip looking at their clocks respectively, waiting for the minutes to pass by.

You could feel the time flying away and behind you, as it did every year, and every year it amazed you how fast time went by, and in the blink of an eye you found yourself somewhere you never thought you'd be, and still here you were, and you were happy, and you guessed at the end of the day, or the year, that was what mattered.

Everyone started counting back, 10...9...8. You grabbed Philip's hand, he interlaced your fingers with his, looking away from his watch. 7...6...Everyone chanted out loud, you turned to face him with a smile, excitement bubbling in your tummy at something so simple and dumb. 4...3...2...and 1. 

Your hands traveled up to hang loosely from his neck when he came down to meet your lips, you felt his hands cup your waist and pull you closer, you angled your face to encase his lips better and loose yourself in the kiss more, hearing your families cheer and toast, the kiss didn't last too long, but you took as much of it in as you could, the softness of his mouth and the tickling of his mustache, the soft breaths from his nose caressing your cheek.

He didn't pull away completely, smiling down at you with soft shimmering eyes as he pressed his forehead to yours.

-Happy New Year baby...-

-Happy New Year Altman - you replied with a wide grin.

Finally daring to acknowledge the silence in the room, you both turned to find your families in a range of emotions, Wendy looked triumphant, Mrs Altman looked positively surprised, Paul and Annie were just plain confused, kind of like Judd, who looked less bothered by the scene, but not quite like your brother, who was staring anywhere he could to try and act normal, and finally your mom looked utterly shocked.

-Surprisee...- Philip sung lazily, turning to slide a hand around your waist, you could feel the blush heating your cheeks.

There wasn't much of a reaction, and it was getting uncomfortable by the minute, though it hadn't even been a minute. You didn't know if it was the first reaction you would've liked to see, but Mrs Altman spoke, and you prepared yourself, Philip breathed in.

-Well...I can't say I'm surprised, I don't think any of us really are...- she gestured around the room.

-Here we go.- Philip threw his head back.

-I mean the tension, the sexual tension, was palpable...- she nodded.

Philip contorted his face in a disgusted and cringed expression, squeezing your waist as a reflex, you chuckled and looked down, feeling your blushing multiplying.

-Mom! Please, god...- Paul groaned.

-Oh come on, I couldn't have been the only one that knew!- she looked around, eyes wide.

-I knew- Wendy raised a finger.

-Can't believe I'm gonna say this but mom isn't wrong, you could kind of tell.- Judd admitted, casual as ever.

-Wait am i the only one that was completely oblivious to this- Paul's face drew confusion.

-I'm right there with you...- your mom finally said, her shock had ceased now- When, when did it happen?- her brows pinched.

-Well- you started, looking over at Philip- We've been kind of on an off since i came back to town, but it's been official since the other day...- 

-Official?- Paul asked.

Philip moved to hug you from his spot next to you, wrapping his arms around your waist affectionally as he rested his chin on your shoulder with a small smile.

-She's my girlfriend- he said in an innocent tone, like a kid excited and proud to show you off.

A few more brows raised in surprise at that, thought you wouldn't know what else they thought it was, they kept looking between both your faces. After it was over though, you had to admit it could've been way worse, it wasn't that big of a deal, you were just in a relationship, but the reactions in everyone's faces told you exactly why you had made a bigger deal than it was.

At the end of the night, everyone was tired and their stomachs full of food and alcohol, your mom and Mrs Altman seemed to be murmuring about something on the sidewalk before she left to her house, you stood at the entrance watching them, when you heard heavy footsteps behind you.

-I think your brother's probably gonna be waiting for me with a bat at the entrance if i try to sneak in...- he half joked.

You let your head fall to the side to rest on his bicep, exhaustion getting to you, your clothes felt less comfortable and your shoes were too tight, you looked up at him.

-Pleasee? It's cold...- you pleaded- I'll make sure he doesn't see you-

He chuckled softly, looking down at you with lazy eyes and a small smile, his lips found yours in another lingering peck.

-Okay, I'll text you- he said before kissing your cheek and walking away towards the street.

Just like you thought, your mom was more than tired, and went to bed early since you and Horry offered to clean up, which you did quite effectively, you were finishing putting away the cutlery as you spoke.

-So...when did that happen?- Horry looked at you.

-When did what happen?- 

-You and Altman- he said like it was obvious.

You furrowed your brows momentarily at him before you remembered that his memory loss probably had taken care of erasing the day he walked in on you and Philip.

-I thought you'd remember finding us together and wanting to kill him- you cocked a brow, joking.

-Yes, i do.- he stated with a tone that told you he wished he didn't- But didn't you guys fight after that?-

He wasn't wrong, you guessed after that happened you hadn't really kept him updated, so it wasn't too clear to him.

-Yeah but, well, it's a long story, we figured it out, and we're giving it a shot, i like him and he likes me...- you shrugged lazily, a small smirk ghosting your lips.

You liked that right now it felt that simple, you were both into each other and were together, sure there were some details you still had to work on yourself like your overthinking or your suddenly way more present insecurities, but those weren't a problem compared to how nice it felt to be actually dating him.

-Just be careful pigtails...- Horry stood straight and kissed your temple before turning to leave.

-Sure will point break!- you responded and saw him shaking his head.

You were slipping Philip's t shirt on when your phone buzzed with a text of said man letting you know he was at the door, before walking downstairs you placed you ear over Horry's room, checking to see if he had already gone to sleep, you heard his snoring as a confirmation and walked the steps down silently to open the door.

A tired looking Philip stood at your entrance, right in the middle of a yawn the moment you opened the door, he trailed behind you upstairs and instantly found your bed to let himself fall over the comforter.

-Tired?- you sat on the edge of the bed, placing back a rebel wave of hair over his forehead.

-Hmm...- he only hummed-C'mere...- he said, patting the place behind you as he took off his shoes, waiting for you to join him.

-Give me a second,- you leaned forward to kiss his lips- I need to go to the bathroom-

He simply rolled on his side, eyes still close and mouth parting open with sleepiness, you smiled at how pure he looked at that moment, and walked out silently again to head to the bathroom to pee. Once you were done you stumbled back to bed, now rubbing your eyes and feeling your own exhaustion weighing on you.

As soon as you laid besides him his body tried to find yours, you cradled yourself against his chest and you hummed audibly, you didn't care if it was too clingy, he was too big and cuddly to keep it to yourself, it was his fault if anything, being all warm and having more boobs than most women you knew had, they were so comfortable.

As you both drifted to a heavy sleep, you felt calmness and a sense of satisfaction that he transmitted to you, ready to wake up next to your boyfriend to a new year...


	33. Feelings Unbeknownst

New Years felt so far away already, and it had only been five days, but since then between your small vacation and your families knowing about your relationship, Philip and you had been spending almost double the time together, mostly just hanging out, talking and talking as if you hadn't seen each other in weeks or months, you had even taken a nap together the other day, accidentally falling asleep, but still, you had been spending a lot of time together.

Speaking of time, you knew, you were well aware of what time it was, you had promised him, you had promised yourself too to be honest, he wasn't the only one with a whole lotta pent up sexual need, after all the other day while talking on the phone to Erica about it, you realized how long it had been since you had sex.

-God i don't even know why I'm so nervous, we've done it before! Maybe I'm still self conscious, but i don't wanna wait any longer...- you had protested.

-When was the last time you guys did it? Maybe it's like a lack of habit or something? You know like you were growing used to it but then you stopped, and plus adding what happened...- she trailed off.

-Uhh i don't know...- you thought about it, thinking back to when the fight had happened- We fought before Thanksgiving, so that would be...holy shit, that's like two months- you realized.

No wonder you were so horny lately, you had left the poor guy without sex for two whole months, you knew it had only been ten or so days since you had made up, but you had completely forgotten about the time before.

-Oh my god Erica, the poor guy, he must have the bluest balls right now!- you gasped.

-Poor thing...- she laughed through the phone.

You laughed too, feeling a bit of guilt for making him wait so long, but sometimes it's so hard not to compare yourself to other people, you just needed to get it out of your head, but now you wanted to make it special for him, make him feel good, reward him, in a way. Standing up from the bed, phone in your ear, you walked over to your underwear drawer to check for what lingerie had been spared from your exes stupid outburst, you found your black lacy bra, without the panties of course, since Philip had kept them. 

You kept fumbling in your drawer and finally found it, your white lace bra and panties, which had a lot more lace, it wasn't as sexy as the black one, but you liked it just as much. Erica gave you an interesting suggestion she had read about the other day and was trying herself, apparently pineapple or cranberry juice could make your...well your cunt, taste a little better, though it was a myth, as you held the bottle of natural no-added-sugars cranberry juice in hand, you thought you had nothing to lose.

Therefore for the past three days you had been drinking cranberry juice on every meal, even sometimes in between them if you were thirsty, and to be honest you were pretty curious to see if it worked.

You had initially called Erica to catch up and tell her about your little announcement during New Years, you both had laugh and cringed at everyone's reactions and observations, but your mom had you a little concerned by now, she hadn't spoken or asked about it since that night, you knew she wasn't exactly a huge fan of Philip but you thought by now she'd have something to say, he was, after all, her bestfriend's son.

Speaking of, you pulled your phone out to call Philip, after the second ring, you heard his voice greeting you.

-Hey baby- you answered, you heard chuckling- What?-

-Nothing, i just love to hear you call me that- he laughed, you rolled your eyes-How are ya?-

-I'm doing good, hey i was thinking...Wanna do something tonight? Like dinner? I feel like cooking- you said, walking around the living room.

-Sure yeah, your place?- he asked eagerly.

You thought about it for a second, no your place wouldn't work, not for tonight at least, you didn't want to have to keep it down just because your mom and Horry were sleeping in the same house.

-Actually i was thinking yours, your kitchen's bigger...- you joked, and lied.

-Okay, but I'm not cleaning...- he warned, only half joking.

-I love how romantic you are, have i told you that lately?- sarcasm stained your voice.

-You haven't, actually. I'm starting to feel under appreciated- he falsely pouted.

Oh I'll appreciate you tonight you'll see...

-What were you thinking?- he said with a chuckle, letting you know he was just messing around.

You were pretty sure he meant for dinner, but of course of all places your mind could go to, it jumped right into every dirty thing you could think of. 

God i need his dick...

-Hmm i dunno, pasta?- you said casually.

-Pasta sounds great, actually- he admitted- Are you staying over?- his tone was that of an excited puppy.

You laughed softly at his eagerness, giving him a few seconds to wait for your answer.

-Do you want me to stay over?- your voice turned seductive, trying to give him an idea of what you had in store for tonight.

-I always do baby- he sounded excited, but he seemed to totally miss on your velvet tone, which made you frown.

-Okay...- you trailed off, a little taken by surprise- Text me when you get home?-

-Yup- he responded.

-How's work by the way? You keeping an eye on Horry for me?- you smiled, knowing he wasn't actually supposed to go today but Paul had asked him to.

He gave you a short chuckle before he sighed into the phone.

-Work's fine, i gotta stay the rest of the day, Paul called me just to get on my fucking nerves again over some stupid inventory...- he ranted.

You let him talk it out to you, you knew although he wanted to be a part of the family business, he had been hesitant about working with Paul, feeling nervous and anxious about not meeting his older brother's expectations, thing was it was tough for them to agree on anything basically, Paul didn't trust Philip, you knew, he knew, shit even a blind person could see it, you hated seeing Philip try his best only for Paul to totally miss it.

-I'm sorry he's giving you a hard time...- you sighed against the phone- Maybe he'll come around- you shrugged, trying to sound positive.

-Hm, yeah right...Paul out of all people.- he said sarcastically, you could hear in his tone how frustrated he was- I can't wait to get out of here and see you...- he said slowly and sincerely.

-Me too...-you smiled, speaking sweetly- I'll see you tonight okay?-

-Yup- he sighed- I should go before Paul catches me on the phone and gives me another lecture- he half groaned.

-Okay businessman- you chuckled- Don't lose your shit at him, i know how you Altman's can be.- you teased.

-Aaw, come on, just a little?- he whined falsely.

Shaking your head with a smile, you laughed at his immaturity, real or fake, you knew he loved to mess with his siblings and piss them off, especially Paul.

-Okay, one snarky comment- you joked.

-Yayy- he chuckled, there was a beat- See you tonight sweet cheeks- his voice lowered.

-See ya...- you grinned at the ground.

As soon as the call was over, you couldn't help but giggle to yourself, noticing the blush that had crept to your face. 'Sweet cheeks', he'd never called you that before, you liked it, it always took you off guard how much he could make your stomach flutter with butterflies, and make you giggle like a corny schoolgirl.

You took a quick trip to grocery store and went back home to hop in the shower, making sure to exfoliate and then shave, as waited for Philip to text you, you got dressed and drank one last cup of the cranberry juice, it was a good thing the liquid didn't have any added sugars, otherwise you'd be rotting your teeth away.

The text from Philip appeared by the time your hair was dry and you were just sitting in your underwear in bed, ready to throw in your clothes, a tiny bit of makeup, and get going. You hugged your coat around you as you crossed the street, knocking on his door as you heard distant crickets.

He said hello to you with his confident smile and his side hug, kissing your cheek deeply as he hummed a sigh.

-Hm i missed you...- he mumbled as he pulled away to move to your lips, gifting you a tender kiss.

-Aaw i missed you too...-he smiled- Long day?-

-Fuck, yeah...- he grumbled, his tone low.

-Tell me about it...- you encouraged him, setting your coat on the hanger and walking to the kitchen.

Philip shrugged and shook his head with an unsatisfied type of gesture on his face as you took out all the things you needed from your shopping bag and moved around his kitchen.

-I don't even wanna think about Paul's bullshit anymore...- you heard him say, next thing you felt where his hands wrapping around your waist and his chest pressing on your back- I'd rather enjoy the company of a beautiful lady...- 

He smiled down at you as he said this, you returned that smile and rolled your eyes at his cheesiness, though you welcomed it gladly, he chuckled and kissed your lips, engulfing you in his height as he gently trapped your lower lip between his, you hummed and were about to skip dinner and jump on the counter before he pulled away too soon.

-Do you want me to help?- he said with soft eyes.

You were a little surprised that by now he hadn't pushed a little when he kissed you, then you remembered the last time he did so and how you pushed him off, but now you were past New Years, maybe he wanted to play dumb and see if he could impress you by waiting as much as he could.

That honestly sounded like the Altman way, you let it slide, wanting to tell him but also wanting to see where this went.

-Um...sure, can you get the wine?- you tilted your head up at him.

-Aw come on!- he groaned- You still don't trust my cooking skills?- he asked, baffled as he walked over to the small wine cellar to pop open a bottle of white wine, you liked how he remembered that's what you drank.

-Not sober I don't- you cocked a brow at him.

Suddenly he was much more eager to pour you the wine, taking a glass from the cabinet and filling it up past halfway. You were about to tell him it was too much but honestly? Why pretend?

-Thank you...- you said, wiping your hands from opening the can of tomato paste before you took a sip.

-Now can i help you?- he raised his brows.

You turned you head and pretended you were about to say something before you raised a finger and took another, longer, sip. He threw his head back in an exaggerated groan and you giggled to yourself.

-Can you chop the onions and the garlic?- you said at the end of your teasing.

-On it.- he assured, rolling up his sleeves.

You had to admit he had gotten considerably better since Christmas, he even threw the pasta in the boiling water before you did so, and a few times as he walked past you while you were stirring the sauce, he'd give you a quick kiss on your cheek or temple, you with your wine and him with his beer, you talked about when you were going back to work, you talked about Erica and her fiancé and how happy you were to have met her.

-Hey could you pass a few leaves of the basil please?- you pointed besides him were the washed bunch of basil was.

-Yup- he said, picking around five leaves for you to cut in half and throw in the sauce as a finishing touch.

The sauce was done within minutes and he held two plates for you to serve, you took your glass and another one for Philip who was switching to red wine, a recommendation you made, since you would just not allow him to have pasta with beer.

You sat on the kitchen island, both near the corner as to be close to each other, the dining table was way too big for just the two of you, this way it felt more intimate, had it not been for Philip's jokes and your tipsy rambling you probably would've finished eating earlier, instead by the time you took your last bite, the meal had gone cold, but you didn't care.

Philip did the dishes and you put them away, when he was done he leaned back against the counter, sleeves still rolled up, and let out a long yawn, running a hand over his tired eyes after.

-Aaw are you tired old man?- you said, walking over to wrap your arms around his waist.

-Hmm yeah...- he mumbled, leaning his head down to rest on your shoulder for a second before you cupped his face.

He looked at you and you noticed his eyelids had gone a little droopy, you guessed between the heavy meal, the alcohol and the weight of the day, all he wanted was to rest. If he didn't want to, which you didn't think would be the case really, you could always do it in the morning, you loved morning sex after all.

You brought your lips up to his, kissing him intently to clarify your intentions, making sure he got the message as your tongue moved around his slowly.

-Let's get you to bed...- you smiled, speaking in a velvety voice.

He nodded and you both walked upstairs to the bedroom, brushing your teeth, you came out last from the bathroom only to find him already in bed with his forearm draped over his eyes, all ready to go to sleep. It occurred to you, what if he had forgotten? No there was no way he could've, it hasn't been that long.

With a pinched brow you climbed in bed besides him, wearing his shirt and your underwear of choice for tonight, as soon as you laid besides him he pulled the covers over you and nestled besides you, wrapping you in his arms.

-Goodnight...- you said, sounding even a little confused as you looked up at him.

-Nighty night...- he sighed, eyes already heavily closed.

You laid there, eyes wide and lips pursed as to not laugh your ass off, he forgot, he really forgot it was past New Years already, i mean there was still a chance that he was waiting for you to give him the green light, but you had made various moves to hint at him. You couldn't decide if it was cute or funny, but your chest shook with a small giggle as you moved to hug him closely, not being able to muster his sudden wholesomeness.

-What are you laughing at?- his voice sounded sleepy yet quizzical as he moved to look down at you.

His brows were raised in a surprised yet clueless manner as you giggled up at him, biting your lip to try and cease it.

-You really haven't noticed?- you asked, genuinely curious.

-What?- he asked, a little fear in his eyes as he looked back and forth between yours- Did i forget something??-

-No no no- you pecked his chin- Don't worry...-

-Then...what didn't i notice?- he asked, still confused.

A grin stretched on your lips, drawn with desire and seduction, while your hands run up the toned muscles of his chest, your thighs already rubbing together.

-It's after New Years...- you said smoothly.

His eyes twitched, and then he blinked, you could see the gears turn in his dark eyes for a quick second before they widened with realization. Tired Philip was gone then, being replaced by an excited smirk and a shudder.

-Fuck.- he breathed out, you smiled before he climbed, or better said threw himself, over you.

Lips found each other, desperate to plaster themselves and suck on the others in a buzzing, passionate kiss. His breaths clashed against your cheek as well as the tip of his nose, you opened your legs to let him accommodate his body in between them, which he quickly did with a groan, biting on your lower lip and sucking on it, you moaned into his mouth and your hands, cupping his face, found their way up his black fluffy hair, running your fingers through it as you bucked your hips up with already pooling need.

His tongue instantly dived into your mouth, moaning lowly as he explored it like he had never been there before, dancing with your tongue while his hands made it their mission to roam around your body, you felt them rub up and down the sides of your waist, up your bent thighs and down again over your belly, squeezing at the extra flesh on that area before he came higher to cup your breasts, massaging them over his shirt, he must've felt the extra layer of your bra because he pulled it up from the hem past your breasts, but didn't take it off of you, not allowing himself to break the kiss just yet.

He deepened it once more as his hands squeezed your tits, earning another moan from you and a tug on his hair. Now he did break the kiss, lips swollen and wet with a mix of both your saliva and his, he briefly looked down to look at the white lace covering your bust, muttering another 'fuck' before he quickly sat up to tug the shirt he was wearing off in a quick pull.

You could see the eagerness this man had running through his body, evident in his rushed and desperate actions and the heaving of his chest every time he breathed in, you weren't far behind, being just as needy and horny as you slid his shirt off of your body to look up at his, he kneeled in between your open legs, taking off his shirt and throwing it behind him across the room, you bit your lip in an attempt for your mouth not to water when your eyes traveled down his happy trail to stop on the tented fabric of the sweatpants he was wearing, his dick already bulging under the clothes.

He was pulling them off, also with quick movements, as he looked at you, eyes unraveling you up and down as you laid there, cunt pulsing with heat at how exposed you were to him for the first time in months, you felt a small shot of nervousness at the realization, taking a deep breath, you tried to focus on him, his smooth skin, his thick arms and his big hands, running down your outer thighs as he lowered himself to your lips again.

He kissed you, this time it was soft, tender, slow, delicate over your lips, barely swiping his tongue to caress your upper lip.

-Are you sure?- he whispered, though his voice was low with lust, as he looked into your eyes with want and affection.

You gifted him a small closed smile, even with a throbbing cock, he still asked sincerely, but you weren't stopping, you wanted him, you wanted him all over and inside you. Your fingers ran through his hair and you nodded, he gave your lips another short kiss before trailing down your neck, a chill running down your spine at the contact, you hummed and threw your head back, feeling him parting his lips and sucking on that spot he knew you loved.

-I'm going to enjoy all of you tonight...- he grumbled, almost a moan.

You whined at that, your approval for him, you wanted him to enjoy you, wanted him to go over and enjoy every inch of your skin. And that seemed to be what he meant, he dedicated himself to sucking on every bit of your neck, down to your clavicles and shoulders, reaching the valley of your breasts, leaving his mark with soon to be hickeys paving his way on your body.

Your fingers brushed his hair, watching him squeeze at your hips, from moment to moment you'd sway up and rub against his crotch to give him some relief while he worshipped your body with his lips, he'd moan or groan, bucking his hips down in return. He kissed up the peak of your covered nipples, and run a circle over your nipple, you gasped at the feeling, wet yet rough given the extra layer of your bra.

Philip hummed, pleased with your reaction and the sight of your nipples pebbling, his hand came up to cup the other one and massage it while his lips encased your nipple and sucked, nibbling over the lace and getting it wet.

-Oh, god...- you gasped, arching your back.

He tugged the thin fabric aside, exposing your sensitive nub to suck on it naked, you moaned for every time he sucked or licked, trying as hard as you could to keep your eyes open wanting to look at his plush lips pleasing your breast. He left a wet trail over to your other breast to give it attention, kneading it and nibbling on your nipple before he kissed down, sucking in the skin of your belly, moving his body lower and lower under the covers until he found himself in between your legs.

Right above your hot center, he left open mouthed kisses all around your inner thighs, tentatively close to your panties, yet never touching them, your breathing had turned deep, cunt wet and craving his mouth. You yelped a moan when you felt his teeth bite on your skin with a growl, followed by a small chuckle.

-You like that baby?- he laughed, you tugged on his hair, suppressing a smile of your own.

-Mm yes daddy...- you whispered, playing with his hair.

His eyes found yours again before he bit down onto the same thigh, you threw your head back and bucked your hips at the pleasurable pain, and felt him sit up, you wanted to whine at how cold your thighs suddenly felt before his fingers hooked on the hem of your panties and slowly pulled them up and off of your legs.

In a painfully slow movement, he lowered himself over your pulsing core, breaths hitting you and making you squirm and shudder, he looked up at you when his mouth finally found your pussy.

An audible gasp paired with a wide open mouth came from the depths of your lungs, the warm wetness of his tongue parting your pussy lips and the tip slowly and teasingly circling around the area, your threw your head back and arched your back before your felt him pull you against his mouth from your hips.

His arms were around your thighs, holding them and gently kneading on them with big hands while his mouth explored in between your folds slowly, taking in all of you, sucking your lips in his mouth and lapping at your entrance with his tongue, it was intimate and so good, he was tasting you with an eager but gentle mouth as you looked down and ran your fingers through his hair, emitting small gasps and moans as you watched his plush lips, the same shade of pink as your pussy under them.

-Fuck you taste good...- he breathed down onto you.

You were entranced with watching him enjoy you, he kissed and licked and made out with your cunt, tongue pushing into your entrance making you buck your hips up involuntarily, he didn't look at you, but you were more than happy to look at him. His hands caressed on your thighs and his mouth took your clit in once again 

-It's the c-cranberry juice...- you managed to muscle the words out.

Your eyes closed again, with a faint smile of pleasure as you focused on the feeling of his tongue over your clit, you moaned loudly and hummed and whimpered, listening to your skin being sucked into his mouth, thinking about how the two combined must taste over his pillowy lips.

-What?- he smiled up at you, he heard you alright, just wanted you to repeat it.

But you couldn't care less, he was smiling with almost red, glistening lips and dark eyes, you needed to taste you in his mouth.

-Nothing...come up here- you whispered in a hot breath.

You watched as he grinned smugly, climbing back up to meet your mouth halfway, you tugged on his hair and moaned, tasting yourself in his tongue, you had to admit, the cranberry juice did something, it didn't taste like heaven, but it was nicer, either that or his lips were that good, you wouldn't be surprised really.

But you weren't done with foreplay just yet, you parted your mouth, sitting up and pushing him to kneel in front of to trail your hands up his thighs and on his boxers, the bulge of his hard cock clearly visible, wanting to break free from the barrier, your ran your hand up and down, stroking it, before leaning forward to press your tongue flat over it and lick it through the fabric, he groaned with a trembling lip as you looked up at him.

Your hands snaked to your back and undid your bra, as soon as you had shimmied off of it you tugged his boxers down, slowly as to watch his throbbing length bounce out, head pink and veins lining it as it stood, waiting for your attention. Wasting no time, you stuck your tongue out again to lick at the head, running the tip over his slit to collect a drop of salty precum that had gathered there, he tangled his fingers on the hair from the back of your neck, holding you in place as you sucked on the head, teasingly slow, never going lower.

Before you could tease him more he pulled from hair, not too hard but enough for you to look up at him, you smiled at the look of piled up lust on his face.

-You wanna tease me sweet cheeks?- his voice was low and smooth.

The only response you gave was your hand coming up to stroke his cock, his jaw clench and he swallowed, you bit your lip, batting your lashes up at him.

-Fuucking god...- he sighed, hips bucking forward to meet the rhythm of your hand- Spit on my cock, get me nice and wet for you...-

The words sent a tingle down your dripping center, you gathered the spit on your mouth and let it fall on the head of his dick, stroking it up and down to spread and spitting some more. He let go of your neck and gripped at your shoulder, instructing you to lay back down, you let yourself fall, but as he lifted one of your legs to rest on his shoulder and positioned the other one in between his thighs, you reached to run your hand up and down the v on his pelvis.

You were both needy for the touch, the contact, the feeling of each other, you caressed and rubbed and pet each other making up for months of abstinence, his long fingers massaged your thighs and sent shivers up your torso with their feather yet deep touch.

His thumb rubbed in circles over the area of your ribs when you felt the underside of his cock teasing your cunt, he found your clit with it and pressed down, teasing your nerves with his leaking tip.

-Aah, Philip...- you gasped, knowing what he was doing.

-Yes baby, tell me what you want...- he instructed.

He kept drawing patterns over your clit, you felt the electricity shooting to your thighs.

-Hmm, fuck me...- you whimpered, looking up at him- I need it.-

With deep breaths and eyes stuck down looking at your cunt, he slowly slid into you, your walls felt a stretch they hadn't been reminded of in two months, you clenched around him and as he kept pushing there was even a little pain, but that didn't bother you, in fact you moaned at the recollection of how big his cock was.

He moved slow, hips swaying back and forth, feeling every inch of your walls as you felt every inch of his cock, once he was satisfied and accustomed with the feeling, he thrusted harder, increasing the speed, clenching his jaw every time he pounded in you.

-You're so fucking tight, shit...- he muttered, mostly to himself.

His pace increased, and with it your moans, your body trembled with each hard thrust he gave you, hitting the spot every time and making your eyes roll back, you were glad you chose to come to his place, your moans were slowly getting louder and so were his grunts. You grasped at the sheets when you felt him go faster, gasping at the tingles running up your belly, you felt his grip on your waist tighten and he moaned, you loved that sound, so low and lustful.

-Fuck, Philip! Don't stop, ooh god!- you said in a gasp, feeling your muscles tense with the built up to your climax.

He pounded into you, jaw slack as his hips bucked forward, skin slapping and hot breaths filled the room, his torso and arms clenched and he leaned forward, bending your leg still resting on his shoulder as he grew into a frenetic pace, you whimpered at the sudden increase of speed and gripped onto his arms, feeling your tits bounce as his cock hit your cervix repeatedly, you chanted praises and he moaned, looking down at your bodies conjoining.

You felt your orgasm closer and closer before he manhandled your legs, placing them around his hip to lower his body onto yours and kiss the valley of your breasts before moving to bury his face on your neck, you wanted to tangle your fingers in his fluffy hair and pull as you reached your peak, but he interlaced your fingers with his and brought your hands above your head.

-Say my name...- he whispered, panting.

He didn't have to ask you twice, you were in a daze, heat and electricity building up, getting your closer as he fucked you into oblivion.

-Philip...-

-Again.- he grunted.

-Philip- you whimpered.

In the midst of your upcoming orgasm you could hear the bed just slightly hitting the wall, your legs were wrapped tight around his waist and still your body jerked at the strength of his thrusts.

-Fuckk, again.- he commanded.

You opened your mouth, either to answer or to moan, you ended up choking a gasp when you felt him plunge into you hard, one, two and three times before your gaze went white with pleasure and your legs tightened its hold around his body, you arched your back and moaned loudly.

He followed closely after you, thrusting hard before his cum painted your walls and he came with a long moan, panting against your neck. You felt him slow down, but he didn't stop, hips stuttering as he finished spilling himself inside you, your legs relaxed over his hips, and his body let itself go over yours, he was huge, but it was great, he felt like one of those weighed blankets.

You hummed, content and satisfied, feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm, your lower body feeling deliciously numb, your fingers combed his hair and you felt sweet lingering kisses on your neck.

-Hmm Philip...- you finally said, he chuckled shortly, you joined in, laughing at your late reaction.

-Fuck...I missed that.- he sighed.

-Hm so did i...- you said matter of factly.

He kept kissing your neck, running his nose along the skin, you felt him soften and pull out of you with a hiss, he had let go of your hands, and now they were on the nape of his neck, caressing up and down like you had learnt he liked, he propped himself up on one forearm to encase your lips in his, the kiss soft and full of affection.

He hugged you as you kissed, tilting his head to deepen it before he relaxed and let go slowly, smiling down at you, eyes full of that glow they had whenever you caught him staring at you.

-Thank you for waiting...- you whispered, your voice sleepy.

-For you baby, i would've waited much longer...- he said, cocking a brow.

You smiled and he let himself relax and rest over your body, you hugged him close, feeling sleep drift between both of your entangled bodies.

***

The extra weight over your body and the strong arms holding you tight were the first things you felt waking up, followed by Philip's breath on your naked shoulder, you smiled at the feeling, fluttering your eyes open to look down, the view was to die for, wide shoulders and torso toned with muscles in result of the position of his arms, the sheets were ruffled and laid low over his butt, back dimples showing accompanied by a number of moles and beauty marks over the otherwise smooth skin.

You never thought you'd like it so much that a man was this big, his thigh was like double the size of yours, and you had some thunder thighs yourself. You ran your hands down his back as if to explore all of the vast space of his skin, he woke up to this, nestling his nose in the crook of your neck before he hummed a sigh.

-Good morning...- you smiled.

-It sure is...- he assured.

You rolled your eyes and felt him shake with a laugh before you felt his lips kissing up your neck to your jaw. He lifted his head to look at you, hair messy and eyes hazy with sleep, you smiled widely at the sight.

-How do you do that?- you asked, playing with his hair.

-Do what?-

-Go from hot to cute that fast!- you raised your brows, genuinely asking.

He only shook his head and laughed, making himself look even cuter if that was even possible, you brought your face up to scatter kisses all over him.

-You're so goddamn adorable!- you exclaimed, tugging at his hair.

-Ow ow okay, i like it when you pull my hair but at least give me a little foreplay!- he exclaimed.

-Sorry...- you ran a gentle hand through his hair and gave him a smile.

-Don't be i said i like it- he chuckled, you rolled your eyes and he kissed your cheek, hard- I'm gonna hop in the shower...- he smirked- Wanna come with me?-

You bit your lip and nodded, he smiled wider before climbing off of you slowly, you shivered at the cold air of the morning before you found the shirt you had been wearing on the floor and threw it over your naked figure, noticing how you both had scattered all of your clothing everywhere in the room.

While Philip went to turn the water on you stayed on the bathroom from his room, peed and brushed your teeth, then headed out his room, following the sound of the shower. He was brushing his teeth when you came in, observing he was, of course, using another toothbrush.

-Is that yours?- you asked, pointing to his mouth.

He nodded before spitting.

-It's a spare one mom keeps around- he explained, you nodded before sliding his shirt off, eager to get under the shower.

You stepped under the hot water with a pleased hum, throwing your head back and letting it travel down your cold and sex impregnated body. The curtain opened and you half turned to smile at Philip, who moved to slide his hands on your waist, caressing the skin before reaching forward to grab the body wash, he put a good amount of it on his hands and started at your shoulders, rubbing it in and going down your back, massaging the skin, you relaxed under his touch, his hands went around your waist to wash your belly and then down to your hips, going behind to your ass.

If you listened close enough you could hear the bastard smirking as he kneaded on your now soapy buttcheeks, you reached for the shampoo and started taking care of your hair before he squeezed and landed a slap on your ass, you gasped, taken by surprise, but you grinned to yourself and wiggled your butt back at him, asking for more. He chuckled softly.

-Does baby want more?- he asked, hand caressing over the previous spot of impact.

You nodded back at him, a pouty look in your eyes, his lips parted and you felt another slap, this time your gasp was quieter, given that you knew it was coming, but you yelped when he landed another one on the opposite side.

He then snaked his hand back around your waist and pulled you backwards against his chest, making sure your ass stayed over his crotch and your back arched, he cupped and kneaded your tits, making them nice and soapy, you let you head fall back on his shoulder as he looked down your body and pinched your nipples, earning a moan from you.

Between your wet bodies you felt him grind on you, his cock getting harder at the touch and the view he was providing, you sneaked a hand down to stroke at his length, his mouth opened with a deep exhale as you jerked his cock, feeling it grow hard quickly on your hand.

His hands kept on teasing your nipples, pinching and pulling at them, making them pebble under the bubbles of the soap, you let go soft moans against his ear, grinding back at him while stroking his shaft. One of his hands left your breasts and slid down to your waist, the other one lightly tapped behind your knee, indicating for you to lift it up, as you did so he hooked his arm under it and lifted it.

-Does daddy wanna fuck me?- you smiled teasingly.

He growled under his breath, finding your lips and pushing his tongue in, you moaned into his mouth, hot water running down your body and washing away most of the soap he had spread around your body.

-Put me in you baby...- he mumbled against your mouth.

The hand on his cock moved to guide him to your wet center, you rubbed the tip around to spread the incoming wetness before you pressed on your entrance.

He plunged up into you without a second thought, a moan choked in your throat and your eyes rolled back, you gripped at his shoulder for leverage, he moved up and into your cunt with speed and rhythm, stretching and rubbing onto your walls as he pressed his parted mouth against your temple.

You were already moaning and gasping, clenching around his cock and feeling heat pooling on your lower belly when his free hand moved down to find your clit, starting to rub fast circles over it, a sharp gasp followed by a shudder took over you.

You hands desperately changed positions in a need for balance, one hanging from the nape of his neck, the other gripping at the forearm teasing your clit, your legs already starting to tremble with the touch of his calloused digits.

-Oh god...Just like that...- you almost screamed, quickly pressing your lips together as to stop it, you didn't want to be that loud, but it felt so fucking good.

Your muscles tightened in your belly with tingling pleasure as he sped up his patterns, pressing down just enough for it to still have a sensitive effect over your nub, you were whining and moaning with a closed mouth, and he didn't seem to want that.

-Scream for me baby, cmon...- he whispered, his words stuttering due to his cock pounding upwards into your pussy.

His thrusts grew harder and faster, bucking up at you, combined with the pleasure coming from your clit it all was too much, you screamed and whined various praises or simple 'yes' over and over as the electricity and pressure built up in your abdomen, he panted against your face, getting to the edge himself with the sight of your soapy tits and your filthy sounds.

You turned your head as best as you could, kissing him with need before looking at him.

-Cum in me baby, please, fill me up...- you whimpered, eyelids droopy with lust.

That was all he needed to be tipped over, he came with a loud groan and pounded right into you as hard as he could, your clit so sensitive the stimulation was too much and you came with an embarrassingly loud scream, as soon as he fucked you through both of your orgasms, he pulled out and stood behind you, pushing you to lean forward. You looked back at him hoping to know what he wanted, he watched his cum drip down your still spasming cunt, you felt him spread your cheeks as he admired the view, collecting both your juices on his fingers before you turned.

He held them up for you to take which you did, eager to please, you took his hand in yours and sucked on his fingers, bobbing your head up and down as you looked up at him with puppy eyes, his eyes in return were dark and sexual.

-Such a sweet thing...- he grinned- Does it taste good?-

-Mhmm- you moaned.

He grinned bigger at that, and when you were done with his fingers he cupped your cheek, leaning down to kiss you before you two finally went on with the actual shower, the water now lukewarm.

-So, breakfast?- he asked, wrapping a fluffy towel around you.

-Yup-

-What were you thinking?- he ran his towel over his hair to dry it before wrapping it around his waist.

-How about some pancakes?- you raised a brow, a sweet smile on your face.

He chuckled at you, walking forward to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you closer.

-How do you that?- he smiled.

-Do what?- you furrowed your brows.

-Go from hot to cute that fast...- he said slowly, his tone seductive but affectionate.

You rolled your eyes at him, with a wide smile of your own before he kissed you again, your arms hanging loosely from his neck. At that moment you relished in the kiss, feeling light as a feather letting out a sigh of those that come from the moments of relaxation, calmness, and happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do you love me or do you love me? 😌


	34. Baby Boy

Needless to say as soon as your condition had been lifted, you had been all over each other, honeymoon phase of the relationship combined with all the bottled up lust resulted in a sore feeling in between your legs and a blinding daze every time you slept with Philip, the two of you were always either tired or so relaxed that you both looked positively stoned for around a week and a half before the hormones started to calm down.

As of now you were back to work already, which had helped a bit in the previous situation given that you couldn't spend too much time together anymore, Philip was also busy, mostly trying to please Paul and prove himself worthy of the part of the business that was already his, you didn't love that for him if you were being honest. His dad had left him that part for a reason, it was clear he was more of an employee than an owner, he was working for Paul instead of with Paul.

But at the end of the day you were looking at it from the outside, and you hadn't really told Philip anything because well, you didn't want to upset him so early into entering the business, and all things aside, he actually liked it. You could see this in the excitement he had shown when you stopped by the store the other day to say hi to Horry and him during your lunch break, and the way he had shown you the stuff he was working on and his little improvised office, which you were currently having lunch in.

-You were in a fraternity?!- you exclaimed in a gasp.

He threw his head back, his face twisting into a disgusted expression as he shook his head, probably already regretting telling you that.

-Oh fuck off.- he laughed- I only lived there like half a year and it fucking sucked.- his head bobbed with his accentuated words.

You were still chuckling and giggling, you wondered what type of weird ritual he had to get through to get in only to be there for a few months, and why?

-I can't believe I'm going out with a guy who lived in a frat house!- you threw your head back laughing, wiping the start of a small tear off of your eye.

-Yeah and you scream his name every night.- his brows raised with a mocking smile.

Although he wasn't wrong, because you did scream his name every chance you had, you hurried to hush him and throw a crouton at him, he only giggled showcasing his wide smile, you shook your head.

-What do you want me to do? High five you like one of the frat boys?- you altered your voice to mock him- You got her screaming your name dude?? Nicee bro!- 

-Please don't call me bro ever again, in fact, don't ever say that word again.- he shook his head repeatedly.

-Okay honeybuns- you teased.

-What?- his brows furrowed.

-Nothing sweetie pie...- you raised your brows.

-Stop it-

-Alright baby boy- you concluded with a grin.

He stayed silent at that last nickname, you were just teasing him, but he looked up, biting his cheek then going back to his salad, and you narrowed your eyes at him, a surprised yet knowing smile on your lips.

-Oh my god you actually like baby boy don't you?- you asked, he avoided your gaze, but you clearly saw red spreading up his cheeks- You wanna call me mommy while you're at it??- you teased.

The red on his cheeks only deepened and spread, you were sure if you could see them it'd be up to the tips of his ears as well, his head cocked to the side and his mouth parted to speak before they pressed into a line again, clearly deciding against it.

A devilish smile stretched across your face, a clear intention in your mind as you stood up and walked to the door, closing it slowly, making sure Horry wasn't right there, Philip finally lifted his face to look at you and you walked over to him, his caramel eyes hooked on yours as you picked up the plastic container and placed it over the table, in them you saw lust and longing, they glinted up at yours with a haze on them as you straddled him the best you could and toyed with the ends of his hair.

-Do you like it when i call you baby boy?- you asked, voice velvet soft and eyes seductive.

His mouth parted and he breathed in, his brows raised in a gesture that wanted to be innocence, he was looking up at you now like he had gone through the driest dessert and you were the only fountain of water, if you looked close enough, you could see what almost seemed to be submission in his face.

-Yes...- he breathed out, eyes falling to your lips.

-And does baby boy want mommy to fuck him?- your fingers ran up and down the nape of his neck, your voice pouty, though inside you were fearing he wouldn't actually like that bold move you just made.

Your doubts dissipated as soon as the words came out of your mouth, Philip shuddered and then gulped, blinking a few times before he could respond.

-Fuck yeah...- he said quietly.

There was a small bit of surprise on his gesture when you spoke, and to be honest you were surprised too, you didn't know if you'd like the use of the pet name, it was a little out there for the kinky stuff, but Philip's expression, the whole idea of the roles being reversed made something stir inside you, most specifically in between your legs.

His hands went up your thighs as you lowered your lips to his, kissing him slowly, swiping your tongue over his bottom lip and nibbling on it, he moaned against your mouth when you swayed yourself forward to be closer to him, grinding against his crotch and tugging lightly on his hair, he squeezed your hips, his hands slid up with a feather touch and under your sweater and top, finding your breasts to knead them lightly.

Your hands cupped his face, deepening the kiss before they trailed down to his chest, his belly and under his shirt to feel the heat of his skin, he pinched your nipples, playing with them in between your fingers, you moaned softly and took your hands down to undo his pants before your phone started going off, startling the two of you.

-Fuck...- you chuckled after almost jumping off of his lap, Philip laughed with you and leaned forward to kiss your neck, you looked over to your phone, since your mom's name on the screen- It's my mom...- you groaned.

-You think it's important?- he breathed down before resuming his kissing on your neck.

He sucked on the crook of your neck, kissing up and leaving a wet trail before he sucked again, your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you gasped at the feeling.

-If it is then she'll call again...- you almost moaned, your fingers finding his belt and unbuckling it- I'm busy right now...- 

You felt him smile against your skin, the phone kept ringing a few seconds longer before it stopped and Philip's arms hooked under your thighs, lifting you up and walking only a few steps to put you down over his small desk. In an instant your sweater was off along with your top, then his pants and the remaining clothes on the two of you were thrown around the room and Philip was sliding your panties off of you, stroking his veiny length as he positioned himself at your entrance.

You hummed as he pushed in, looking down watching your cunt grip and swallow his cock, he held you by your thighs, rolling your hips with his as he slowly picked up speed.

-How the fuck are you always so tight for me?- he grunted, cock burying deep, reaching your favorite spot.

A gasp went out of your mouth, he looked down at you with a pinched brow, pleasure clear on his face, you had to keep reminding yourself you were at the store and couldn't exactly scream like you wanted to, therefore you opted for drowning your sounds in a wet, sloppy kiss.

He held you impossibly close, snapping his hips forward and grumbling into your mouth as he build your orgasm fast sending delicious shocks into your core with every thrust, you tugged at his hair and moaned around his tongue, and then your phone rung again.

-Fucck.- you groaned, pulling away to look at the screen, it was in fact your mom.

You guessed if she was calling again then maybe it was important, but you were so into Philip fucking you over his desk, not even on his desk, at this point he was holding you up with one arm as you held onto him with your legs and your arms, his cock hitting your spot just right in a hard, paused pace that was making your jaw fall open.

-Take it...- he panted- Take the call- he smiled up at you.

Glancing between your phone and his gorgeous, dark eyed face, you bit your lip, was there a universe in which that was a good idea? If there was one it had to be the one where you were getting pounded by Philip Altman after he called you mommy, there was no way you were letting this orgasm slip, your body jerked and your arm trembled as you reached for your phone, pressing the green button.

-Heyy mom...- you said, trying to compose yourself

-Hey honey, everything okay?-

Well that didn't last...

How did she catch you so fast? Your eyes opened wide, you were about to tell Philip to stop when she spoke again.

-You haven't gotten back home- she finished, and you were relieved.

Clearly you forgot to tell her that you were bringing Horry and Philip lunch, and staying with Philip for it. You only worked until noon today, and she must've thought that after leaving Horry lunch you were heading back home, the color came back to your face, and meanwhile Philip sucked and moaned against your neck, squeezing your butt as his thrusts grew harsher.

-No I'm having lunch with Phiiilip, sorry i forgot to tell you...- you trailed off, feeling his cock driving up to your cervix repeatedly as you spoke.

It was so fucking wrong but fuck was it hot, his hot breaths hit your earlobe as he pounded into you, containing his own moans by kissing and sucking, or even biting, at your skin, meanwhile you put all of your focus on composing your voice, though that focus was constantly being stolen by your upcoming orgasm.

-Oh, okay then, are you okay? You sound agitated- she asked, casually, thank god.

-Yeah y-yeah I'm good...- you hiccuped before squeezing Philip's shoulder, feeling the snap of his hips hitting you harder and making you go insane- I just, i think the food didn't totally sit right with me, but I'm fine.- 

The last few words were a struggle, and you could feel Philip's smile stretching as he went in harder and faster, you knew he was as close as you were by the way his thrusts stuttered and the soft, quiet moans against your shoulder, your body jerked up and down and it took everything in you not just let go.

-Oh okay, well hopefully it's not food poisoning...- 

-I don't think so, don't worry.- you said quickly.

-You've been spending a lot of time with Philip lately...- her voice was a little quieter, but her tone reeked of disapproval.

At the moment though, you couldn't care less, you'd deal with that when his dick wasn't up your gut and you could actually focus on what your mom was saying. 

-Well he is my boyfriend mom...- you sighed, though not of exasperation, but at the amount of pressure building on your belly.

You were so close, your toes curled and Philip plunged into you, barely able to contain himself.  
He smiled and looked at you again when he heard you, smile quickly turning back into a parted mouth, panting with need.

-Well then why don't you bring him over?- your mom said, it sounded like a challenge.

-I'm sure he'd love that...- your voice quivered, he moaned in your ear.

-Alright then, how about tonight?- you heard her say.

-Sure, sure- you didn't have time to ask him, you'd do that once you could fucking cum.

-Okay, tell him I'll see him tonight- she assured.

-Will do!- you exclaimed, Philip held you tight, squeezing on your ass, his rhythm impossibly fast and erratic, his cock pretty much making you numb at this point- I should go mom, see you later!-

You didn't hear what she said next, you only waited a few seconds to make sure you didn't hang up on her saying goodbye and then finally ended the call, tossing your phone over the table and gripping at Philip's back, tensing up from head to toe with the strike of your orgasm, he hissed and groaned and drove his cock into you hard.

-Fuck, Philip, oh god I'm cumming...- you blabbered.

That must've been what he was waiting for, because he growled, sweaty forehead leaning against yours as he snapped up, diving into your mouth tongue first to drown the loud grunts of his orgasm as you milked his cock, you dug your nails on his back and scalp and clenched around him as he messily kept fucking you through both of your climaxes.

You both trembled and loudly panted as your bodies relaxed, he kissed you once more, softly, before pulling away and chuckling to himself, looking down at the mess you had made, he put you back down on the desk and you brushed a few hairs out of his face, just now noticing how ruffled it had gotten.

-So...- he breathed, swallowing before he kept talking- What did she want?- he laughed.

-He wanted to know where i was, i forgot to tell her i was with you...- you explained, looking at him.

He nodded, eyes closing and head tilting down over your shoulder, caressing your thighs after he slipped out of you and you relaxed your legs.

-She also wanted to invite you over for dinner...- you sighed.

His head came back up, eyes switching between yours with a furrowed brow, his eyes still hazy from the still lingering lust in them.

-Really?- he asked, breaths slowly going back to normal.

-Yeah, is that okay?- you said, hands rubbing up and down his arms, you loved the closeness of his strong arms caging you in still.

-Yeah, but she already knows me- he said, eyes narrowing and a small grin forming with a little confusion.

-Are you scared Altman?- you smiled.

His eyes looked down on yours, that soft little glint of something signaling a secret message at you, he leaned forward, kissing your jaw down to your collarbones, hugging you closer until he came down to your chest and looked up at you.

-No mommy...- his voice came deep, you bit your lip and brought him up to kiss you again.

***

Saying your mom was behaving oddly was probably an understatement, she looked elsewhere, and was even surprised when you told her Philip accepted her invitation. She was awfully quiet, not that she was a loud chatty woman on the every day life, but you could tel this wasn't just way-too-concentrated-on-the-potatoes silence, something was bothering her, and you were pretty sure that something had just rung your doorbell.

You shook her behavior away, but it was hard, today when she asked you to bring Philip over you weren't really thinking straight, and honestly who would when they were getting their brains fucked? It didn't cross your mind that maybe it was a little too fast, that maybe Philip wasn't too comfortable with that idea, that you didn't even know how this whole thing would turn out, or if you were ready for it. 

Stopping, or trying to stop, yourself from being over dramatic, you reminded yourself that your family already knew Philip, if anything maybe they knew him a little too well.

Maybe you didn't think about this as well as you should've...

Philip smiled at you when you opened the door, leaning over to side hug you and kiss your lips, you almost looked behind you to check no one was there, you were clearly nervous. Philip didn't look fazed or nervous at all, he didn't look like he didn't want to be there, and that honestly brought you a breeze of relief, it was mostly your mom's attitude that was throwing you off, wondering if she was going to be prejudicial and rude.

You really, really didn't think this through.

-Mrs. Callen, how are you?- Philip leaned down to your mom's level to give her a quick kiss on the cheek, and you watched as her eyes widened.

-I'm good...- your mom patted his arm as one does when they're uncomfortable before turning and walking away.

She didn't even offer to take the wine Philip had in hand, you saw his confidence falter for a second and so did yours, just how exaggerated would it be if you faked a huge stomach ache and canceled the evening?

-Altman...- Horry shook his hand, at least he was acting normal.

Philip greeted him, his assuring smile up again. Horry offered him a beer and when you met his eyes you mouthed a 'thank you' with a small smile that read gratitude all over, he raised his brows in reassurance. You could say that you had no idea why you were so nervous, or why you were worried about the outcome of this dinner, and that would be a full on lie. You knew damn well why, your mom's silence had gone as far as halfway through dinner, Horry, Philip and you talked, although not about a lot, and while the two of them discussed whatever, you shot your mom a look that pleaded at least some sign of life, that was when she finally had something to say.

-Have you spoken to your mom recently Philip?- she asked, you were just glad she had come up with something.

-Yeah, she's finishing up in Philadelphia, i think...- Philip answered, perking up slightly when he saw your mom finally spoke to him.

Yet all the answer she offered back was a nod and a polite smile, Horry and you eyed each other, honestly it could've been a call for help as it could've been frustration or confusion, Philip's hand occasionally rested over your thigh for a while, you knew he was trying to reassure you, apparently your awkwardness was that palpable. You tried gathering every topic posible inside your head, at one point you were even talking to Philip all by yourselves while your mom barely nodded alone.

The end of the meal couldn't come fucking sooner, it was one of those times when the more you want time to pass it just does not. Luckily for you it wasn't forever, and finally you were picking up the plates, stopping Philip from helping so you could have a word with your mom to ask her where your real mother was.

-These are the last few...- you approached her and stood by her side while she scrubbed away at a plate in silence- So what do you think?-you sighed, going straight to the point.

She looked up and to the side with a look that read absolutely nothing, 'nothing' as in 'should i have something to think?', you know, as if she hadn't been completely silent about something that she clearly did have an opinion on.

-About?- she asked, so casual it almost felt like she was playing dumb.

Truly at this point you were almost out of words, what in the world was she on? You tried remembering if she had had too much to drink at dinner, but she hadn't, as a matter of fact she hadn't even touched the wine Philip brought, which was more the reason for you to be having this conversation.

-Me and Philip...- you said slowly- You still haven't said a single word about it.- 

You would think she'd understand why you were curious, why you wanted to hear her opinion, but still you found yourself wondering if maybe you were being too...needy? Maybe? You weren't sure what the word would be. Your mom shrugged, cocking her head to the side before looking at you again.

-Well, I'd say after Nick the bar is set pretty low...- she said in a scoffy laugh.

-What?-you blinked- What do you mean?- you were actually asking.

-I mean I understand that you need to have...- she gestured around- your kicks.-

-My kicks?-

You were really hoping she wasn't implying what you thought she was implying, and that she wasn't doing so in such a careless way.

-Yeah, you know as in...a fling, an affair, I don't know what you kids call it these days- she gestured casually while smiling at you.

Apparently to her this seemed like some lightweight thing to drop on you, she really thought after you brought him to dinner alone and literally told her he was your fucking boyfriend, that this wasn't serious. A part of you was confused and couldn't believe it, and another one was started to get frustrated at how little she seemed to give a shit.

-Mom it's not a fling.- you stated.

She sighed with closed eyes, dropping her head to the side slightly, showing what looked like frustration, was she really not taking you seriously right now?

-Honey, i know Philip okay? We all do, christ i even changed his diapers!- she chuckled again- I think i know more than enough to tell you that he just does not work for relationships.- her brows raised.

-Oh wow, what a nice way to talk about your best friend's son.- 

Your mouth was parted in an expression of disbelief, so she truly, wholly didn't take this seriously, she didn't like Philip. It was so shocking to you, you thought in fact that maybe she would be kind of happy at the fact that you were dating someone from the family she is the closest to.

-Honey you think Hillary doesn't think the way that i do? She wrote about it!- she exclaimed.

Her expression was that of an obvious connotation, and at this point you had enough.

-And still she knew and even fucking cheered for both of us months before you did! So what does that tell you?- 

Now you were angry, you hated that she was saying all these things about Philip, you understood that you liked him and maybe people didn't see the whole picture, or that they judged him only by his mistakes, but he was good and he was trying. And he certainly didn't deserve your mom's bashing.

You didn't want to be there anymore, the evening was over for you and you just wanted to go to bed with Philip so you could cuddle him as if the visit had gone smoothly, before you walked away to the dining room you saw your mom's expression change to one pf realization and then disbelief, and when you were leaving you heard her faintly call.

-She knew?-

Not too long after that the night was over, of course, you wished it didn't have to be left at that, you really did value your mom's opinion, and seeing how she acted with Philip and the things she said, it made you sad, and angry, she had no right to assume what you two were, if you were making a mistake or if he was made for relationship was your problem, she couldn't decide those things for you.

-Your mom does not like me- Philip told you, huffing a laugh as you walked him out.

You smiled, but hesitated to say something, you didn't want him knowing she thought those same things you had said about him last year.

-Yes she does...- you said bumping his arm with yours.

-No no she had that look in her face that Horry had when he found us? That same look.- he assured, brows raised.

You laughed at the memory, you were glad you could laugh at it now, see, Horry had literally found you under Philip and he still treated him nicely, why couldn't your mom just do the same?

-Well, i like you for the two of them, does that make you feel better?- you joked, coming to a stop at the sidewalk and turning to look at him.

-Actually it does...- he nodded, you both chuckled.

Later that night when your mom and brother finally went to sleep, you snuck Philip inside and to your bedroom so he could sleep over, sure you could simply have him stay, but you'd rather not have your mom know, you didn't want her judging more than she already seemed to be doing.

Philip was rubbing lazy patterns on your back, his body keeping you warm as you both laid there waiting for sleep.

-Hey did your mom say anything else?- you tried to sound casual- About us i mean-

He hummed in thought, you could tell his eyes were closed, meanwhile you looked up at the ceiling.

-Nope...- he said.

-Huh...- you replied, of course she didn't- What about Paul? Did he say anything?-

-No, not really...- he sighed- My family doesn't really care about who i date unless they can make drama out of it...- he said softly.

He was starting to get sleepy now, you could tell, also because his hushed tone sounded like he said more than he wanted to give you, but maybe he was just tired.

-That seems a little exhausting- you pointed out.

-It sure fucking is.- he laughed softly.

You weren't sure what you were looking for, maybe a little meaning or means behind your mom's attitude, she really did make you feel like you were a dumb little girl that knew no better and had to be pointed the most obvious of things, in reality, the only opinion that counted was yours, you decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter: @redlacegirl  
> Tiktok: @redlacegirl


	35. Nice Surprises

It had been a while since stuff had been awkward around your mom, more specifically, things had not been this tense since you were in your last years of high school and your dad passed away, you had developed a little bit of a risky, rebel-but-not-really episode, you liked to sneak out and drink cheap beer and vodka at some dark park with people who weren't your friends, it wasn't good, and you and your mom fought a lot, it wasn't until one day a very angry Horry caught you and after that you started to calm down.

Only this time you weren't being irrational or getting yourself in trouble, it was just a relationship for fucks sake, and still she was barely talking to you about it. Philip was totally oblivious to the whole situation, and meanwhile you were trying your best for you two to avoid her, you didn't want Philip to get hurt, your mom's opinion was just the same that hurt him coming from everyone else, and until she didn't realize she was wrong you didn't want her ruining this for you.

You had been spending most night's at Philip's anyway, not necessarily on purpose, you two just liked being with each other and he was living alone currently, so since he was across the street you had taken a few changes of clothes and staying there. It was quite nice actually, going to bed and getting to cuddle up to him, making breakfast for each other in the morning, he had been waking you up for work everyday, it was such a caring side of Philip that took by surprise, a nice surprise of course, you loved the little details.

You woke up slowly to kisses all around your face and neck, as you grumbled awake and started to stretch, the kisses stopped with final one over your forehead and you heard him whispering.

-Time to wake up baby...- he mumbled and kissed your temple.

He laughed when you groaned, not at him but at the reminder that you had to abandon his warm bed to go to work, his kissing wasn't making it any easier.

-What time is it?- you muttered against the pillow, hoping you had a little time to stay and cling onto him a little more.

-It's almost ten- you heard him say.

-WHAT?-

Your eyes snapped open and you sat up to look at him in panic, had you really slept through your alarm?? You were supposed to be at work at eight thirty. He was laying on his side propped up on his forearm, you watched him laugh mischievously when he saw your face and that was enough to let you know he was messing around, biting your lip you yanked your pillow and hit him with it, he only giggled harder.

-What time is it??- you tried but you caved in to a small laugh. It was kinda funny.

-It's a quarter to seven- he laughed, you punched his arm- Ow!- his eyes went wide.

-What is wrong with you?!- you struggled to keep a smile down.

-I'm ashamed...- he said, holding back another laugh since he wasn't serious.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head at his stupid naughty puppy face, he was such a baby, and yet he was such a baby, somehow. And you liked it, fuck did you like it. You almost scoffed to yourself at the thought that he probably knew how you actually enjoyed his immaturity, and turned to hop off the bed.

-Where you going?- 

-I'm gonna get up I'm mad at you now.- you said looking back at him, you didn't mean it though.

He stretched himself closer, grinning at your fake annoyance and moving to cage you with his arm around your waist, urging you back to bed.

-You're mad at me?- his voice was soft, his smile pleased and his brows raised.

-Yeah!- you said matter of factly, smiling when he chuckled.

His grin turned into a smirk, his eyes glinted with teasing as he leaned downwards, drifting those eyes down to your neck before his lips came to contact with it, sending a goosebump that felt like a lighting match over the sensitive spot, he buried himself in it, kissing slowly and sucking gently as he shifted his weight to lower you on the bed again. Your body relaxed instantly, reacting submissive under his touch and his words, knowing very well what he was doing and being completely on board with it, your eyelids fluttered and your arm held his while he caressed your torso down to your hips.

-Hmm you are?- he didn't whisper, but his voice was still low.

-Yes...- you were very much not.

Especially when his tongue trailed down your collarbones and his hand got dangerously close to your panties rubbing down your inner thigh, your mind not stopping to realize your legs were already hanging open for him. You felt his middle finger very slowly grazing over your panties in a line over your slit, heat pooling under the thin fabric.

-Really?- he taunted with a sweet tone.

He added a little pressure, you wanted to keep up your facade but instead you shuddered with the motion of his fingers finding your clit and rubbing circles. He made himself comfortable above you, moving to kneel between your legs while his mouth sucked on your neck until he was satisfied with the bruise he had left, then he slowly lowered himself directly over your core, hooking his thumbs under the elastic and pulling them off, your legs fell open again instantly. That was just what he did to you.

Philip's POV:

Philip had this amazing effect over her, she just opened herself to him eagerly every single time, and she drove him fucking insane, if he could he'd spent every morning, day and night over her body, tangled up in her, kissing and touching as she played with his hair and he hummed, pleased to simply be with her.

Correction, he'd like to spend the rest of his days with his tongue deep in between the pretty smooth lips of her pussy, his mouth watered at that sight, he tossed her panties somewhere over the bed and lowered himself to kiss her thigh and meet her center, sliding a lick in the middle, he heard a pleased hum come from her, this was exactly how he wanted to wake her up, his eyes lifted while he parted his mouth and took her in his mouth, sucking gently on her mound as he watched her gasp.

He ran his tongue up to her clit, finding it at the top and pressing directly over it, she let out a moan, her brow pinching and her eyes shut, Philip loved to move around and watch her reactions, hear her little squirms and her shudders when he circled with his tongue skillfully.

-Mmh...yes, oh god...- she panted, Philip watched her with dark eyes while his lips cupped and sucked her in his mouth.

Her juices dripped down the beard on his chin, he tasted her, salty as she was, his tongue made a long stripe up to her clit again and he took it in and sucked, making her yelp and arch her back, he felt her muscles tensing up under his face, at this he guided a finger to her entrance, pushing in and moving around, in and out, she moaned his name, he recognized the silent request and pushed a second one in, moving his fingers in a come here motion inside of her, watching every twitch of her beautiful face and her reddened cheeks. 

Her mouth opened with a wanton moan, her hips bucked forward with greed at his motions, in response he growled on her clit and followed with a satisfied moan when he saw her squirm and choke back a scream, he loved it when she screamed, when she couldn't control it, he didn't know if he was the only one that had ever gotten her to do that, but it sure felt like it every time he did.

She kept gasping and moaning, squirming under him as he worked his fingers deeper and his tongue slower, feeling her getting close with every spasm around his long fingers, her wet sounds becoming louder, Philip let go of her clit with a pop, looking up at her with wet lips.

-I want you to cum baby...- he almost growled the words out at the sight of her hair sprawled on the pillow she was gripping, his fingers thrusted in and out of her- Cum for me, be a good girl...- 

-Oh god! Philip!- she exclaimed.

It didn't take much more for her to clench around his fingers and come undone with a whine, bucking her hips up as he scissored inside her through the aftershocks, her chest heaved under his deep green shirt he hadn't taken off, though it had rolled up and exposed her stomach. Philip watched as his cum covered fingers pet her equally drenched pussy, her legs relaxed and trembled when she lowered them, fuck did he love it all, every little reaction he could have on her, making her feel good.

So fucking gorgeous...

He thought to himself as he lowered back to kiss her warm belly, her hand lazily running through his hair, he moved up to peck her nose, grinning.

-Go clean yourself up and I'll make you some coffee baby...- he whispered, eyes entranced in the dilated pupils looking up at him.

She gave him a lazy nod, her lip tugging to the side with a little smile, Philip could see the content on her face, and he was so happy himself. He never (really, not ever) thought he'd do as much as wake up early, make his girlfriend cum without him cumming as well and then kissed the tip of her nose like they were some old couple, but he didn't hate the reality of it, he took it as a good sign, the fact that he didn't give a shit if that wasn't how he had acted in his previous relationships.

Shit he didn't even mind the hard on he had left himself with after that, how couldn't he have a hard on with those beautiful high pitched and panting sounds she made. His hand tugged on his boxers slightly so he could shift his hard dick a little as he started the coffee machine and grabbed some eggs, thank god he was wearing some sweatpants and not jeans, he looked down at the tented fabric and sighed.

Damn you, dad's legacy...

-Ugh.- he shook his head with a disgusted grimace while he cracked the eggs, still trying to erase yet another fun fact his mom had dropped on him.

He tried focusing on his current task, making his girlfriend breakfast, yet another thing he had done before, but not totally out of affection, there was always something selfish about it, then again he always thought relationships, love even, was selfish, that it was about two people looking to satisfy their own selfish needs. Finally with his mind somewhere else, he whisked the eggs and threw them on the pan, he turned to reach for the spatula and saw her slowly strolling into the kitchen, interrupting his thoughts with a look he couldn't place.

Philip flashed her a smile but in return she smirked, a hint of mischief on the tug of her lips, he watched her walk over to him, noticing how she had gotten dressed and her hair wasn't wild anymore, she came to a stop right in front of him, placing her hands over his chest, he corrected himself, he did know that look, it was that look from that time in his office, Philip's cock twitched in his pants at the memory.

Maybe she noticed that, because her hands moved down, nails faintly scratching over his nipples and going down his torso to the waistband of his sweatpants, he swallowed when she looked down at his lips, and then at her own hands tugging his pants down and taking his cock out, all while tilting her head, then looking back up at him as if the situation was completely innocent.

-You thought I'd leave you without cumming baby boy?- her voice was so smooth it made his eyelids flutter, also because of her hand stroking his dick.

Her thumb brushed over the tip, spreading a drop of precum he didn't notice there and making him shudder, his head fell forward against her forehead, her eyes so dark and her strokes so good.

-The sstove is oon...- he stuttered out, not that he cared, but he was slowly becoming a mess in her hands, his cock so sensitive from straining against his pants.

-Turn it off...- she instructed, he just nodded before blinking and half turning to stretch his arm backwards and turn the flames off- Good boy...- she smiled.

Her other hand tugged a little more at the elastic of his underwear, just enough to let his balls out and cup them, massaging them gently and making him clench his jaw with a throaty grumble.

Fuck...

Now he was a mess, cock red and desperate being painfully slowly stroked, his breaths were either deep and slow or fast and stuttering, there was something in the way she changed the roles with them, Philip had always wanted something like this, but he didn't want to ask for it, and he never encountered a woman who would just do it, turn it around and make him putty in their hands instead of it being the other way around.

-Mommy's gonna have her fun, because you made her very angry before...- her brows furrowed, her words now pouty as she slowly shook her head- Say you're sorry...-

-I'm sorry...- he said instantly.

-Sorry what?- her eyes looked up at him, wide and waiting, even though her expression read innocence and his read desire, he wasn't in charge here.

-I'm sorry mommy...- he spoke, lips parted with a quiet moan.

His head was fucking spinning, he knew he had mommy issues since he was a teenager but this little acknowledgement of it she had brought to the table last time was a whole other step for it, it was so good, so hot, she was so fucking amazing.

-That's right, and what are you sorry about?- 

As she waited for his reply, he watched her lower herself on her knees, looking up at him with her hand still on his cock. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, and when he took to long to respond, she squeezed the base of his cock, making him lean forward over the kitchen island, a short, almost silent high pitch sound came out of his lips.

Was that a whimper? Did he just whimper? Did she just make him whimper? She most definitely did, Philip was panting at this point, hands gripping on the granite surface as he watched her drawing closer to the throbbing leaking head of his cock.

-I'm sorry i made you angry...- he breathed, then swallowed.

-You want mommy to suck your cock?- again, that pouty tone, he twitched in her hand.

-Yeah...-

-Do you need it?- she smirked, only barely grazing her lips over the side, making him grit his teeth.

-Yes.- he insisted.

-Say please...- she almost sung, grinning up at him as she kept stroking.

-Please mommy...- he whined, his mouth kept watering at the sight of her playing with his length while she gazed up at him, he could easily pull her hair and turn the tables, fuck her face against the side of the kitchen island.

But he wanted to be her good boy.

-Come on, you can do better than that baby boy...- her tongue lapped at his underside, making him moan and suck in a breath- Say please.-

-Please, please mommy, suck my cock, please...- he begged shamelessly, he needed it, he wanted her to suck the soul out of him.

-You like saying that don't you?- she teased him more, if that was even possible at this point.

Her tongue was sticking out and swirling over the tip as she smiled, but before he could give her an answer her mouth opened and took him in, sucking intently with her cheeks hollowed, Philip gasped and moaned, one of his hands felt the need to come down and hold her by the nape of her neck, it didn't look like it but it was clearly desperate, seeing as he was doing it out of fear that she would keep teasing him.

Thankfully she didn't, her mouth stayed on his cock, taking as much of him as she could and sometimes giving the head some special attention, sucking harder on it, which made him tense up and moan, he could feel every wet inch of her warm mouth, the roughness of her tongue swirling away at the head.

-Fuuck, yes, like that...- he groaned.

He knew for a fact he wouldn't last long, his dick was already raging hard before she came in the kitchen, and she was sucking him so good, taking every inch of him to the base, gagging, and coming back up to bob her head and moan onto his shaft, sending vibrations that made him shiver. 

His fingers were tangled on the hair at the back of her head and she rested one of her hands on his thigh for leverage, her other hand occupied with his balls, squeezing and tugging just enough so it wouldn't hurt, but still making him hiss and groan, he was so close now. She pulled away from his cock, a thin rope of drool connected his cock with her wet lips, but she didn't leave him unnoticed, her hand kept stroking him before her mouth went back and focused on roughly sucking at the head, something came to mind.

-Baby...- he called, feeling his hips start to buck forward with approaching release, she looked up at him with a hum- Fuck...Can i cum on your face? Please...- he exhaled.

She didn't respond, instead she stopped with a pop and grabbed his hand from her neck, guiding it to jerk himself off, she angled herself and opened her mouth with a smile, giving him the green light.

Philip's teeth were gritting with shaky breaths as he stroked himself fast, watching her eager face and feeding his arousal with it until he felt his climax spurting out of him, he grunted and made an effort to keep his eyes opened, white ropes of his liquid shooting on her cheeks, lips and even nose. The last few smaller drops rolled down his dick inside her mouth, and she swallowed those.

-Holy shit...- he sighed, still feeling the aftershocks of his orgasm.

He had to close his eyes for a moment before he looked down at her again and wheezed a laugh, she smiled at him, trying to keep her hair out of her dripping face. He helped her up with both hands and handed her some paper towels, watching her clean his cum off her face while he pulled his sweatpants up and looked around, almost forgetting he was on the kitchen making breakfast.

Philip resumed his cooking while she washed her face and they ate together leaning against the counter as they sometimes did, other times they'd sit on his bed and other times over at the small dining table by the kitchen, Philip liked to look at her and wiggle his brows of flash her a dumb smile whenever she'd look up, just to tease her.

-What?- she asked with a shrug, catching him once again.

-Can't I just look at my hot girlfriend while she eats breakfast?- he said matter of factly.

He watched her blush and roll her eyes at him, he laughed a bit ironically at the fact that just around twenty minutes ago he was melting in her hands and calling her mommy, of all things. She took her eyes off of the scrambled eggs to look at the time and hum as she took her last bites.

-Hot girlfriend has to run...- she said putting the plate down and walking over to peck his lips.

Before she could pull away he hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her against his body again, kissing her a little deeper, she smiled and circled his waist before he pulled away.

-Call in sick mommy...- he pouted, tilting his head just slightly to mess with her.

She bit her lip and shook her head, gripping tight at his shirt before she let go, they both knew she couldn't, and she also knew he wasn't serious...only half serious, let's just say he wouldn't oppose to the idea of her actually doing it.

-You're really hooked on that mommy thing aren't you?- she narrowed inquisitive eyes at him, he grinned.

-Not any more than you are- he pointed out.

She turned to leave with a smile and he followed, squeezing her ass as she walked and making her yelp, she reached to pull from his ear and he complained, but laughed.

-Call me when you get off?- he said leaning down, hands behind his back, a smirk on his face.

-Of course...- she said in her velvety tone- And you can come and see this apartment with me, it's inside my budget i think you'll like it- she perked up, voice changing drastically.

He could tell although she was messing back at him, she was excited about the place, she had been looking for a while now and had seen a few, but they weren't much, he smirked. If his baby wanted him to go see an apartment with her, then he'd gladly go with her, he was just happy to be involved in her decision.

-Sure- he smiled at her, genuine and wide.

Even wider as he watched her stretch a big white smile and cup his face for a few more pecks before she rushed out the door with a few more bye byes. He just watched her leave, sighing in pure bliss and the sheer fluttering of his chest when he was with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HATE filler chapters. But oh well lmao i promise actual chapters are coming


	36. White Lie

-What is up with you lately??- Erica's voice and face reflected happiness and surprise.

-What do you mean?- you asked tying your hair up.

-You've been practically skipping into work these last couple of days!- she laughed, leaning over the counter and waiting for an answer.

Heat creeped up your cheeks and you couldn't help a stupid giggle at her words and the knowledge of why you had been acting like you were up in a cloud, the cloud had the shape of a six foot tall broad man with amber eyes and a charming smile that ate you out in the morning and then made you breakfast.

-Well...I don't know, life has been nice to me lately- you shrugged, giving her a proud grin.

The only stone in your shoe at the moment could be your mom's stubborn ways, it's not like you hadn't tried to talk to her, but she had been keeping it short and out of the subject. You weren't going to pull on the rope alone, Philip made you happy, so happy in fact you couldn't remember the last time you were this happy, and if she couldn't see that well...too bad.

-How's place hunting going?- she asked, following you to the kitchen where you tied your apron, waiting for Louie to come in.

How am i always in a kitchen?

-I'm gonna go see one today actually, hopefully this will be the one, i really need to move out...- you sighed, rubbing a hand over your eye.

Erica nodded knowingly like she knew exactly what you meant, and she probably did.

-Living with your parents once you're older is so exhausting...- she shrugged, shaking her head and furrowing her brows like she didn't understand.

-Well it's not easy for us either i can promise you that- you both turned at Louie coming through the back door, newspaper in hand as usual.

Chatting time was over after that and the day begun, but you had your mind elsewhere, in a new apartment to be precise, you were crossing your fingers hoping it was everything they promised, the last one you saw had very nice pictures on the website, but when you got there you realized that the pictures might've been at least ten or fifteen years old, everything was outdated and a whole lotta stuff needed to be replaced, it just wasn't it.

Hours went by as your nostrils were invaded with the sweet smell of the oven baking, and Louie and you talked about your catering job tomorrow, he told you what he had planned and how you would organize everything, now that you were more involved you hoped you wouldn't have another fiasco like the one on your first time helping him with catering. You were washing your hands for the last time today before you left, making sure there wasn't any flour stuck under your nails or over you, you wouldn't want the landlord to see you all powdered up, you were excited about this.

Though when you slipped your arms into your coat and walked outside, you lifted your gaze only to meet your mom's looking back at you with a smile. Thank god you told Philip you'd meet back at his place before heading to the apartment.

-There she is!- your mom chuckled at her own small joke, you furrowed your brows.

-Hey mom...what are you doing here?- you tried not to sound like you were uncomfortable.

And you weren't, or maybe you would, it was off, it was complicated.

-Well I remembered you told me you were going to see that apartment today and I thought i could join you! You know, so you wouldn't go alone -she nodded gesturing towards you in a 'you know what I mean' manner. 

A small twist of nerves ran through your spine, Philip was supposed to come with you, you didn't want them both in a weird situation like last time again where your mom kept to herself the whole time, but you couldn't tell her that you'd rather go with him, it wouldn't help your situation with her opinion towards him, you were already spending practically every day with him, she wouldn't like it.

That left you with only one option...

-Um, yeah, sure sure...- you tried to seem casual and lively about the idea- Can you give me a second? I have to call Erica-

Your mom's smile seemed to widen, which in a way made you feel a little guilty, but not as guilty as when Philip picked up the phone.

-Heeey beautiful- he said smoothly.

-Hey baby...- you started.

-Want me to go pick you up?- 

-No, no- you said, maybe a little too quickly, your mind trying to come up with an excuse- Actually i was calling to tell you I'm not gonna go see the apartment today...- 

You tried to make your tone sound unbothered, so that he wouldn't think something had happened and asked about it, you looked back at your mom waiting for you, she wasn't too far away, so you tried to speak as quietly as you could.

-Did something happen? Do you need me to beat someone up?- he joked.

-No, no, but thank you- you fake laughed- I'm just gonna go...shopping- you explained- With my mom, so I'll go look at the apartment some other time...-

There was a short silence over the phone, just seconds, but it was enough for you to realize you weren't making up an excuse, you were straight up lying to him. He gave you a simple 'oh okay' that relieved you a little, but before you could tell him sorry for dumping him and feeling bad, the situation had to get out of your hands.

-Honey do you have the address? i was gonna type it on the GPS- your mom appeared over your shoulder.

You bit your lip, signaling for her to give you a second, there was no way Philip didn't hear that, you just hope it was vague enough so that he wouldn't suspect. But his silence wasn't helping, just when you were starting to sweat, he spoke.

-Oh okay, that's good i actually told Paul i wasn't coming into the store today, but if we're not going then i can make it!- he explained casually.

You motioned a sigh of relief though you didn't let one out, you were actually pretty surprised he didn't hear her, but alas, it was probably for the best.

-Yeah! Yeah that's good- you sighed- I'm sorry baby...- you made your voice sound sweet, you were really sorry, just not for the reasons he thought.

The feeling of regret came over you, thinking you shouldn't have done this, you should've simply told him you were going with your mom, or have him join the two of you and just let it be awkward as fuck.

-Hey! It's fine! Trust me, just go shopping with your mom, have fun!- he exclaimed.

You smiled a little before remembering that he was just being this encouraging because he thought you were spending 'quality time' with your mom or some shit, you just hoped he wouldn't suggest going with you another day.

Thankfully he didn't, of course he didn't, but how could you have guessed that he had damned well heard your mom, and already knew damn well you were lying.

Taking a really deep breath, and feeling your stomach sink with guilt, you turned and forced a normal, excited attitude in front of your mom, getting inside her car and driving off to the apartment. When you got there your excitement felt a bit more real, the neighborhood was a bit further from the bakery than your mom's house was, but nothing terrible.

The landlord seemed nice, his name was Jack, he was younger than Louie and lived on the first floor, it wasn't a huge building which meant there wasn't an elevator, but that didn't bug you, you could get used to the stairs, when you walked up to the door you noticed there was just one lock, which made you a little uncomfortable, even if this wasn't Chicago, you'd still be a single woman living alone, you'd have to install a few more of those in the future, thankfully you were in the third floor.

When you entered, the first thing that caught your eye was the light, there was so much natural light, your eyes quickly found the source being a big tall window by the living and dining area, you instantly loved it, the view wasn't an outstanding city or tall mountains, but instead a calm piece of house roofs with a good part of the sky showing, you could bet sunrise and sunsets looked beautiful through that window.

You drew your eyes away from it, looking around the rest of the small apartment, there was a three body sofa behind where you stood, and behind it sat a small dining table with four chairs, you thought it would be nice to have Erica and Toby over, there was no coffee table but there was a Tv table with a few drawers, then there was the kitchen, divided from the previous space by a bar sort of situation.

Once you and your mom were done taking a look around the kitchen and all it's available appliances, you walked over to the living room window again, you really did like it.

-That's the golden ticket right there, everyones loves the windows- Jack chuckled as he walked over next to where you stood, admiring the humble view.

-Windows?- you asked, turning to face him.

-Oh yeah, there's another one in the bedroom, come, take a look- he said with a nod, urging you to follow him.

He walked into the small hallway right across the room from the entrance, there were two doors, one he pointed out was the bathroom, and the other one he opened which was the bedroom, it was completely bare, which was fine since you were moving your stuff from your mom's house to this one, and just like Jack said, there was a window identical to the one from the living room standing tall.

-Some curtains wouldn't hurt i think- your mom joked.

She didn't see it but you cocked a brow, noticing there were a few small windows facing your way. A smirk tugged on your face when you thought Philip would also like the window, but it would most certainly have nothing to do with the light.

You actually kind of liked the wholeness of the space, having three spaces in one sort of thing, the bathroom was nice, the shower looked a little old, and the carpet in the main space could use some deep cleaning, but other than that, you were more than happy with the space. A bubble of excitement formed in your chest, knowing this could potentially be your new apartment, you saw yourself living here, you were already picturing decorations in your head.

Jack asked you the usual questions to apply, you gave him your email and phone number, and when your mom quietly told you she hoped you got the apartment, he smiled and confided to you that there weren't many applications, and he was looking to seal the deal very soon, he left you with what sounded like a promise and a raised brow.

You didn't want to get your hopes up but that pretty much did it for you, you carried a happy grin on the way back, even if you wished Philip were there too, but he'd sure be here on moving day.

-I say we go celebrate, how about dinner?- your mom looked at you briefly before looking back at the road.

-Mom I don't really...-

-Oh come on, it's on me, let's go?- she carried a sweet smile she flashed your way.

She looked so eager for it, completely clueless at the fact that you lied to Philip to come here with her because apparently you'd rather do that than actually have her suck it up and be with him in the same room (like the dumbass you are). It came dawning on you that maybe you were being a little overdramatic at this entire situation, but how could you not? She seemed repelled by him almost.

In a brief moment of guilt, or panic, mostly guilt, you accepted her offer, trying not to lose the happiness of just 5 minutes ago for a little longer before going back to the cold shoulder.

The orange of the sunset was slowly drifting into the dark blue of the night, and the streets started to light up with it, you sat with your mom at a small restaurant with soft music and a cosy, family environment, sharing a bottle of white wine that you knew you would either not finish or drink alone.

-This is nice, can't remember the last time you and i went out alone- she raised a brow, shaking her head at the busyness of life.

You offered her a smile, and she lowered her glass, looking down at it and tapping her pointer fingernail over the table right beside it, before she looked at you, mouth open hesitantly before closing and opening again.

-So how's Philip?- she smiled, it looked like she was really trying for it to be honest.

-He's doing good, i guess.- you shifted a little in your spot.

The question took you off your balance a little, you really hated lying to him, it was bad enough that you felt like it was the best option, but you were so glad he didn't hear her.

Your mom nodded along, clearly expecting a longer answer than you were willing to give her at the moment, all things considered, and you pried your mind for another subject to bring up, before she quietly spoke again.

-Honey...- you looked at her- I'm very proud of you, you know that right?- 

Her eyes had a softness to them, like she felt guilt and hoped for your forgiveness. The specific topic brought your brows to furrow, but your eyes were soft as well, you weren't holding a grudge against her now.

-Of course i know that mom...- you answered honestly.

-Good.- she nodded with a closed smile- Sometimes...us parents forget that it's not enough to worry, it's far more important to accompany.And support.- she said matter of factly.

This wasn't the first time this peculiar change of air and choice of words had come up between you and your mom, but back then, it would be right before she taught you a life lesson, and you'd instantly want to roll your eyes and sigh.

Now that you were an adult though, and that you had learnt that parents do not have the holy grail of knowledge above everything, and were more than possible of making mistakes, you had a good idea of where this was headed.

-I was supposed to see the apartment with him...- your words weren't sarcastic.

-Oh...- she knew who 'him' was- And why didn't he come?- 

-I told him not to. Because you decided to come...- again, you tried hard to make your words sound casual, it was the truth.

It looked like you were heading to the right destination, your mom pressed her lips together, tapping again at the table as, you guessed, she picked the right words. You lifted your glass and took a sip, while also trying to hide a sigh.

No, please, take your time, just let me get ready for your disapproval...

-I wanted to talk to you about...well that.- she gestured- I haven't been fair about your relationship with him, with Philip.- she empathized.

The glass stopped mid air as it left your mouth, you weren't expecting that, but you stayed silent to urge her to keep going, in your defense, it did seem like it was due...

-I came off way too strong and just rude, to you and especially to him...You were right, even if Hillary and i agreed, that's no way to talk about my friend's son...- she sighed- You're a smart woman, always have been...-

Her hand reached over at the table, looking for yours, she ran a caring thumb along your skin, looking at your hands before looking back up at you, you offered her a soft smile, giving her reassurance.

-He makes you happy, and that should be reason enough for me to like him.- she stated, almost to herself- And he's handsome...- she shrugged.

A surprised, but one hundred percent genuine laugh escaped you, she joined in with a chuckle, at least she saw the appeal, at least she apologized, and it truly did mean so much to you, but you were sure she could already tell by the way you were beaming, Philip did make you happy, so incredibly up-in-the-clouds happy.

For the first time since you moved back here, you had a true, heartfelt conversation with your mom, you realized just how much you had missed those, back when your life seemed settled in Chicago, you barely had time to speak to her, much less talk about your struggles for two hours, because back then you also felt as if all of that stress and even that unhappiness was part of growing up and making a life of your own. You've come to realize that you couldn't have been more mistaken, it doesn't have to be like that, it is rough out there, but that wasn't all there was to it.

You drank most of the wine yourself, but not because it was awkward, just because your mom was driving back, leaning against the cool car window on your way back, you decided it had been a good day.

-Do you want to stay here tonight?- your mom hugged her purse as she walked besides you to the entrance.

You actually wanted to now, even though your toothbrush and a good amount of your clothes was over at Philip's.

-Sure...- you smiled.

She kissed you goodnight and you climbed up the stairs, the need for sleep starting to sink in with the help of the wine as you called Philip to let him know not to wait for you, you actually couldn't wait to tell him what a great afternoon it turned out to be.

The phone rung and rung while you yawned, but he wasn't picking up, you thought it was kinda odd, but just before the tone was over, he picked up.

-Hey- he spoke, you very slight drunkenness preventing from noticing the change on his tone.

-Hi baby- you said before yawning again- I just wanted to tell you I'm sleeping at my mom's tonight...- 

You kicked your shoes off and flopped down onto the mattress, instantly feeling the comfort of the covers under your tired, dizzy, body.

-How was shopping?- he asked.

Shit, right...That.

-It was nice! I actually had a really good time...- you said the truth, or a part of it.

-Good.- he said before sighing heavily, you guessed he was tired as well.

By now your eyelids were heavy and so were your limbs, you wanted to tell him about your talk with your mom, but you were so tired at the moment, you'll do it tomorrow, which reminded you:

-Oh! I almost forgot, can i ask you a favor?- you asked with your eyes closed.

-Sure...- 

-I have a catering job a few miles out of town, do you think you could give me a ride there?- your voice was sweet, but lined with sleep.

It took a few seconds for you to hear him answer with another sigh.

-Yeah, no problem...- he said.

You smiled and thanked him, deciding he was probably also about to fall asleep given his short answers, and so were you to be fair, but you'll see him tomorrow and you could chat, maybe you'd even give him a blowjob while he drove, you smirked to yourself at the idea before another yawn came out of you.

-Okay, I'll let you sleep, goodnight handsome...- your voice slightly tender with the compliment.

For a second or two you thought you had fallen asleep, because he didn't say anything back, but then he did.

-Goodnight baby.-

And you replied with a hum, letting him end the call, you turned and hugged the pillow, smiling at the petname, your need for sleep not allowing you to realize his change in tone.


	37. Are You Happy?

The third alarm for you to wake up this morning went off as you got dressed, and you turned it off with an optimistic air, you didn't want to disappoint Louie this time, and you were off to a good start with half an hour to spare before Philip picked you up.

Speaking of which, you hoped he would wake up, you had sent a good morning text when you woke up, and he still hadn't responded, that was weird, specially since he was usually the one who sent them first.

Not paying it too much mind you strutted downstairs and straight for the coffee pot, it was gonna be a long day, probably longer than you could imagine.

There was a cold breeze rustling the trees outside, but other than that it was a nice day, your good mood from yesterday still wasn't washing away, the excitement to get news from the apartment had you constantly checking your email and planning ahead of yourself, eager to have your own space, especially if it was that one, you had a great feeling about it.

The doorbell rung bringing you back from your imaginary decorating of the living room, and you checked your bag to make sure you had everything you needed, a small prick of guilt stabbed your stomach when you reached the doorknob, remembering that you had to keep up the lie in front of Philip, and who knew for how long? Wasn't it worse if you just kept on lying until he found out? Wouldn't it be worse if he didn't find out from you??

You shook your head, it wasn't even that big of a lie, just a small one, you were worried, you didn't want your mom to have an attitude and make him feel bad, he could understand that when you apologized right?

-Morning...- you heard him say with a small smile while you closed the door behind you.

-Good morning!- you smiled, hooking your arms around his neck to kiss him, you felt him hum against your lips before you pulled away.

It bummed you out that you couldn't ramble to him about the apartment, about how pretty it looked with those huge windows that let so much light in and how you hoped that it wouldn't be unbearable during the summer, and you thought about this for the first portion of the ride while he rubbed lazy circles on your thigh with his thumb.

-So how was your day yesterday? Everything alright at the store?- you initiated the conversation before you went ahead and rambled about your stuff.

He made a 'meh' sound, the corner of his mouth tugging in an expression that paired the lazy noise, and he tilted his head from side to side.

-Let me guess, Paul.- you stated with a closed smile.

Without taking his eyes off the road, he smirked at your knowledge and squeezed you thigh, you furrowed your brows, he was awfully quiet for...well, for being Philip. He turned when he felt you still looking at him, and spoke.

-He just thinks I'm like an "irresponsible teenager" that's all...- he sighed- Nothing new in my family...-

That last statement caught your attention, the Paul thing wasn't something unusual at this point, and maybe the family thing either, but they weren't in place here. You realized then that this was one of those moments where he actually shows how he feels about his family's treatment towards him, you've seen this before.

-Why do you say that?- you asked casually, looking back at the road as to not scare him off.

The car turned and from your periphery you saw him clench his jaw a little before his hand rubbed up your thigh and he turned to you for a second with a small smile.

-Well, being the cutest comes with a price- he said proudly before focusing back on the road.

It didn't work. His comment sounded like he was putting an end to the subject, and that was most likely his goal, to get you to roll your eyes at him and smile, but truth was this little actions didn't go unnoticed to you, he always seemed to quietly try and let out some of his baggage, but then draw back quickly as if he did something he wasn't supposed to.

-Why do you always do that?- your voice was quiet and nice, again, trying not to come off too strong.

-Do what?- he didn't look at you, but his brow drew confusion.

-That.- you pointed out- You start talking about something that bothers you and then you make a joke to divert the subject- 

-It was just a joke- he defended.

-Okay then...tell me more about what you said before, what was Paul talking about?- you shrugged, mimicking his oh so casual demeanor.

You felt his hand draw away from your thigh to grip at the wheel, a little tighter than before as his face went from neutral to neutral-serious.

-It's no big deal okay? I shouldn't have said anything...- he sighed, muttering the last part.

You knew that attitude perfectly, he was being defensive, and kind of petty, which was getting you irritated.

-Look i just want you to talk to me...- you said calmly.

-Well, I don't want to talk about it with you.- he mocked your tone.

Okay, that was uncalled for.

-Oh really?- you scoffed- And who would you rather talk about it with?- you shrugged, almost sarcastically.

-I don't know maybe a therapist, you know the people who you are supposed to talk about stuff with.- he raised his brows at you, his tone exasperated.

He was talking to you as if you were the one exaggerating or overreacting, he was being defensive, and it wasn't fair, not to mention you felt like you were being pushed away, which didn't feel nice at all. You thought you had built some type of trust so far, from the beginning you were never shy to talk to him about your feelings, so why was he?

Maybe it's some toxic masculinity shit...

-I just don't understand why you wouldn't feel comfortable talking to me, i feel comfortable talking to you!- 

The corners of his lips tugged upwards and so did his brows, and out of his mouth came something between a scoff and a laugh. You widened your eyes, feeling the car slowing down as you approached your destination, but there was no way you were leaving this here.

-What??- you asked, actually confused and offended.

-Alright, you wanna talk?- he turned- How about we talk about the fact that you never want me around when your mom's around because she hates that we're together.- he leaned closer with affirmation- Don't think I haven't noticed.-

Now it was your turn to scoff, sure maybe she didn't like him, but she does now.

-You don't know what you're talking about.-

-Ohh see, you don't feel comfortable talking about that do you?- again, his tone sounded mocking, you didn't like it.

-No, because it's not true!-

-Really?? It's not true??- more sarcasm.

-No!- you exclaimed.

-Right, okay!- he gestured with his hands- How did your mom like the apartment by the way...Hm??-

There was a second of silence before he said it where you think maybe the argument was over, and then you felt your stomach sink.

-You knew about that?- your voice had lowered back to a normal volume.

-Of course i fucking knew, but you know what? I wasn't gonna say anything, i was gonna let it slide because I understood that maybe it was a touchy subject for you. But since you want us to share and talk about everything!- his hands moved around dramatically.

So he did hear your mom over the phone, and he never said anything. Now it all came back to you, and suddenly you noticed why he was so cool with you blowing him off at the last second, why his tone was so short over the phone last night.

But he was also trying to change the roles around, and you weren't having it. Or was it the other way around?

-I don't want you to share everything i just want to know what bothers you!!You never talk about that! You always evade the subject and that's not good!!- your voice was loud again in your frustration at him.

-Why does it bother you so much!? How do you know what's good for me??- he almost groaned.

-I don't know it's just my opinion because I'm your girlfriend and i WORRY about your closed off ass!!-

-Noo no don't turn this around, you're the one who LIED!- he shook his head, now you were both yelling.

-Is that it? Is that your whole argument??-

-Yeah!-

He nodded at you like he had just won a competition with tight odds, it made your blood boil, and you were also reminding yourself that you currently didn't have time for any of this, he was being so difficult and it was starting to hurt.

-WELL I DIDNT FUCKING WANT TO LIE OKAY?? IM SORRY! ARE YOU HAPPY???- 

-FANTASTIC!-

You were already out of the car and slamming the door in fury when he yelled this, and as soon as you stepped onto the sidewalk he drove off with a screech of his wheels that could light the asphalt on fire, you wanted to scream and groan at his attitude, he wasn't being fair, you were just trying to be a good, caring girlfriend, you weren't even trying you just wanted to be it. But you couldn't be around him when he acted like that, thankfully he wasn't your ride back, after a good amount of deep breaths, you stomped over to the place where you'd be working.

Louie and Erica had gotten there about fifteen minutes before you, or maybe they didn't, you honestly didn't know how long you were arguing with Philip on the street. You helped set up, your frown set tight on your forehead and your scowl still plastered on your face, you couldn't contain it, but you would have to force yourself to if you wanted to cause a good impression.

Tedious after tedious hour was spent with you fake smiling and rushing around to take everything on time, you really wanted to enjoy today, like Louie seemed to be, proud of catering such a large event, but your head was still buzzing with your fight with Philip, your first fight, you reminded yourself, but that wasn't something worth pointing out.

-Hey, Louie said if we want to we can take the next half hour as a break- Erica walked into the kitchen with a sigh, plopping down on a chair.

-I'm good, thanks- you tried saying as nicely as possible.

-Are you sure? You've been working non stop i think you deserve it..- she tilted her head.

Truth be told, work was working as a nice piece of distraction as of right now, or that's what you kept convincing yourself of, you didn't want your mind to keep going over and over Philip's petty tone in his voice or the way he just drove off like a fucking maniac, yes you were doing so even while twisting the frosting filled sleeve over the small pastries, but at least you also had to be focused on this so you could focus less on that.

You felt like a steam locomotive with it's chimney closed up, having nowhere to let all the hot, pressuring steam out, you kept having to remind yourself that you were at work, and you couldn't get distracted or explode right then and there, every few minutes you would unconsciously let out a noticeably exasperated sigh of huff, just wanting to be done so you could either go home and scream into a pillow, or talk Erica's ears away.

Speaking of whom, she could see your shitty humor from miles away, but you were sure at this point it wasn't surprising, it was literally palpable.

-You okay?- she asked quietly as you step up one of the tables with all your arrays of sweets.

-Yeah, why?- you answered out of instinct.

-Look no offense, but you look like you could cut someone's throat right now- she half joked.

You cocked a brow at how accurate that description was, you were in fact feeling quite violent, your leg was tapping away at all the pent up anger and your head was starting to ache. You were already resenting Philip for ruining your first big job catering. 

-Sorry, I swear I'm fine i just...-you sighed- Had a fight with Philip. It's wasn't nice.- you kept your gaze focused on your task.

-Sounds like it sucked...- she looked over at you again.

Just then one of the costumers came around asking for Louie and, to your delight, complimented you on the food so far, that drew a smile on your face, at least this was going well. You gave Erica a look that read "I'll tell you when we finish this" and went back to plating, she gave you an assertive nod, she knew she was in for a never ending furious rant, you were grateful she was willing to listen to you.

-Right...- you sighed, walking back into the kitchen- We fought because he doesn't talk to me.- you resumed- I mean he does talk to me, but he doesn't talk to me, y'know?-

Today made you realize how little Philip shared with you, his dad passed away less than a year ago and he never showed even the minimum amount of grief with you, you never knew if he was heart broken about it or if he didn't suffer too much because he wasn't close to him, not to mention every other thing that seemed to be going on in his head, you knew he thought his family thought little of him, but why? Why did he feel that way? What had gotten him to think like that?

-Oh trust me i know...- Erica agreed with a smile- It's like nothing ever bothers them-

-Exactly!!- you exclaimed- But with Philip, it's different in the sense that I know something's bothering him, because i see it, i hear it, but then he makes a joke or a flirtatious comment and totally dodges his own feelings, it's like he's afraid I'll notice...-

-He probably feels like he can't talk about it, maybe it's toxic masculinity...- 

-Yeah I thought that too...- you shook your head, thinking- Do you think I'm totally out of place? Like it shouldn't bother me? Maybe I should leave him alone...-

-I mean, I don't think so, you could leave him alone yes, but it's not nice to never know how your partner feels about certain stuff.- you nodded, agreeing- You're his girlfriend, of course you want to know, of course you're worried, maybe he's not used to that?- she shrugged.

-Thank you!- you exclaimed with your arms extended, happy to hear you weren't crazy- And i dunno, maybe? I wouldn't know, but how could he ever have other relationships where no one cared about him like that?- 

The idea sounded vague and unusual to you, and also pretty sad, you were placing fondant decorations while you thought about it, maybe you should buy his mom's book, see if that gave you any idea of what was it about him shutting off as quickly as that. Coming to think of it buying a book literally about all of his puberty was the most ironic answer to your question.

-Is Toby like that?- you asked Erica, seeing you had been quiet for a bit.

-Not really, the guy before him was, I remember his dad had passed away in a car accident when they were coming back from school when he was like seven, and he never told me, when i asked him why he said 'well, i dunno, you never asked...'-

Okay that may be a little more extreme than Philip, still, same point, kinda. You both shared a confused and shocked look at the anecdote and she chuckled at the mimicked action, you were starting to cool off, but were still tense at the thought of talking to him, 'maybe not today' you thought to yourself, thinking about the anger and speed with which he drove off after you fought. 

Coincidentally, just as you were thinking that, Louie came over to help you and to mention your phone was buzzing and going off in the pocket of your bag, you frowned, but brushed it off, people didn't usually call you, and the ones who did knew you were at work and busy, you wondered if maybe it was Philip trying to reach you, but you didn't think so.

After everything was done and the three of you cleaned, packed everything and waited for Louie to get your paychecks for the day, you washed your face in the bathroom in an attempt to relax as well as stretching, feeling your back crack a few times.

-Need a chiro?- Erica teased.

-More like a full body massage...- you groaned, the idea sounded amazing actually.

Thankfully Erica was your ride back, it was around six when you were finally ready to leave, when you took your phone out to check who was bothering, you found it completely blown off, as in around twelve calls from your mom, with another dozen of texts from her and yet more calls and voicemails from an unknown number which, upon checking the texts that also matched it, you found out was Paul. 

Turns out you weren't way off when you thought it had something to do with Philip.

A frown of confusion formed in your brow as your steps halted, reading all of the texts at light speed while Erica turned to ask you if everything was alright, holding her car keys between her fingers, you didn't read all of the texts carefully, but you distinguished the same two words in almost every one of them.

"Philip" and "Accident"


	38. A Bigger Part

"Hey Y/n this is Paul...Altman, um...Philip got into a car accident, we haven't seen him yet since they called us, we're at Good Samaritan Hospital waiting so...hopefully you'll hear this and we'll see each other soon, bye..."

That voicemail was from almost two hours ago, the knowledge of that mixed with the lack of information the message provided you with had you shaking with worry, Paul sounded worried as well, of course he did, his little brother got into a car accident of god knows what magnitude.

With how careless of a driver he tends to be, the speed he was driving at the last time you saw him, not to mention he was probably pissed at you when it happened. He probably got distracted and was going too fast, and if he was going that fast then who knows what happened, how hurt he was...

This is your fault.

Maybe that wasn't true, maybe it wasn't your fault, maybe a drunk asshole crashed into him or a deer crossed the road and he drove off, but you couldn't help it, you were the reason he drove away at that speed, and all because you lied about the stupidest little bullshit to him, he must've been so angry, listening to you lie away at him like he didn't make time to go with you to see the fucking apartment.

And you were so fucking mad at him, and for what? Whatever was the reason it didn't matter to you in the uncertainty and guilt of this moment right now, this moment where your mind was going a thousand miles an hour and thinking the worst. Thinking that the last time you spoke to him was yelling and slamming a door on his face like you didn't give a fuck about him.

But you did give a fuck, you gave so many fucks your chin was trembling under the concealment of your palm as you looked out of Erica's car window, staring into nothing and going over every single word that was said and the anger in Philip's face the last time you two talked today, and the way he drew his hand away from your thigh when you brought up something he wasn't comfortable with, it stung at your chest.

-So what did the voicemail say? Have they seen him?- she asked, very quietly and carefully.

She brought you back from your mulling, sure you could hide your face, but you couldn't hide the way your leg was bouncing away and the heavy silence that had fallen after you told her to drive to Good Samaritan. You shook your head, feeling prickles in your eyes.

-No, they don't, they didn't...- you huffed a deep breath- When Paul sent me the voicemail they hadn't seen him yet...so i don't know...-

He could be dead right now and I wouldn't know

You shut your eyes tightly, shooing the dark, dark thought away and burying it deep in the very bottom of your mind, no. There was no way you were thinking that, there was no way he was leaving you when that was your last interaction, not even a kiss or a smile.

-I lied to him...- your voice was quiet- It was a stupid lie but still, he was pissed...-

You weren’t really expecting an answer, you were just sulking at this point, Erica seemed to notice.

-We're almost there...- you heard Erica say, noticing your sudden silence.

The idea of calling back Paul to check in and see if Philip was okay came to your mind, but you were so worried, so worried the news would be even worse before you even got a chance to get there, it was better to drown in ignorance and conclusions, after all, if you tried being realistic, your mind always thought the worst, so that left you with a big chance that the reality was you'd be relieved.

This was your fucked up way of trying to console yourself, that whatever had happened to him couldn't be worse than what you were already imagining, but even if he was completely fine, would he be mad at you? Of course he would, you yelled at him and got him into a car accident, he wasn't even going to call you out on your lying, but noo, you had to be a nosy bitch.

And with everything that had happened since you lied considered, even if it was an innocent lie, he still had every right to be pissed at you, and you'd take it, and you'd be so sorry that you didn't show how much you appreciated him more often, he was so attentive and sweet to you, you weren't sure you felt worthy of all his care after today.

Like a hunting hound, you sat straighter in the car seat as the pasty white building came to view, Erica drove up the entrance and you unbuckled your seatbelt, swallowing the lump in your throat down to your contorted stomach and taking a deep breath, you forced yourself to calm down.

-Hey...- Erica placed a hand on your forearm- I'm sure he's okay...I'll wait here for you until you make sure of it.- she smiled at you.

-No, no don't worry, I can't make you stay here.- you shook your head.

-Well you can't make me leave either- she raised a brow- I'm your friend, I'm here for you...- 

She squeezed your forearm and you were about to cry, not just because of your current estate but from her support, you held back the tears and smiled.

-Thank you, but i mean it...Go home, i promise I'll call you as soon as i know he's okay-

With a reluctance hum she muttered an okay to you and hugged you goodbye, you grabbed your back and stepped out of the car to get back to your concerning, your legs felt a little weak as you trotted inside and found the reception, looking around the waiting room to check for anyone you recognized before you spoke to the receptionist.

-Hi I'm here to see Philip Altman, he was in a car accident...- you said quietly.

The woman nodded at you and typed on her computer, meanwhile your knee bucked back and forth and your fingers tapped away at the counter, it didn't take long but you had to bite your lip to prevent yourself from hurrying her.

-Yes, he's in room 27, second floor- she leaned over to point at the elevators over on the wide hallway at your left.

-Thank you- you gave her a smile, again trotting towards the elevator and pressing the button for a second too long.

You felt your heart sinking as the elevator rose up to the second floor, your nerves starting to come over you, really come over you, it wasn't a long ride, a part of you slightly hoped it would've been, just so you could have time to get yourself together a bit more, to try and process the fact that you didn't know how he was, or if he hated you, you wouldn't blame him.

Again your legs wobbled a few of the steps as you looked for room 27, your breaths coming out in puffs as you secretly whispered to yourself.

-Please be okay...fuck.- your little voice tried to reassure yourself.

Would he even want you to be there?Could you even deal with the guilt if he were to be as hurt as your exaggerating brain pictured him to be? 

About halfway through the long hallway of rooms you found the door you were looking for, there was a small rectangular window on one of the sides with blurred glass, you tried making out if there was someone inside but you really couldn't tell, so after swallowing another lump you softly, almost hesitatingly knocked.

Just then you noticed there was some very faint mumbling that stopped after you knocked, and next thing you heard was the handle turning, then the door opened and there stood Judd.

-Hey! Y/n- he almost exclaimed when he saw you, his brows raising slightly.

-Hey...can i? Is he?- you mumbled-How is he?- your voice had clear worry on it.

-Oh he's Philip alright...- he joked, you guessed to lighten the mood, though all he managed out of you was a small smile- He's good, been asking for you actually- 

He moved to the side and gestured with his hand for you to come in, you hesitated for a second but walked in slowly, Paul and Annie came into view and she waved at you with a smile, as always. 

Next thing you noticed was the hospital bed, a cast, and your large man wearing a hospital gown.

Your breaths were coming out thin, your mouth was parted in relief at the sight of Philip, safe and sound, laying back on the bed, you felt like the air was finally back in your lungs when he flashed you his little smug smirk.

-Hey baby...- he said with that baritone voice you didn't know you needed to hear.

-Hey...- you sighed.

This time you weren't too hesitant as you walked over to him, leaning over the bed to cup his face and kiss his forehead, and then his temple, and then his cheek a few times, peppering kisses all over the area, just to feel the smooth warm skin before you softly kissed his lips, relishing in the familiar feeling, letting it give you the final taste of consolation you needed.

-Let's give them some space, c'mon- you heard Annie whisper, and then a little shuffling as they left.

His hand came to rub on your forearm when you pulled away, again kissing him all over a few more times, suddenly you couldn't get enough, you didn't want to stop until every ounce of worry, fear and guilt was converted into warmth and endearment. You lifted your gaze to look at him, his hair was a little ruffled, there was a cut on his forehead near the hairline, nothing too bad, amber eyes looked up at you as you ran a few fingers through his hair, combing it while your other hand still cupped his jaw.

-I'm sorry i yelled...- he said, smile fading.

You let out an ironic laugh, laced with guilt bubbling in your throat, he was sorry?? Fuck no. You were sorry.

-I'm sorry i yelled...- you repeated, accentuating on your part. 

He chuckled quietly and you joined, and then your smile grew, looking down at his pretty face with his cute moles and beauty marks, he was all in one piece, and he was here with you and it made you so happy, you were so scared, now that you knew he was okay it seemed ridiculous looking back, but anyone would've been the same way, right? If they knew their significant other, or better said didn't know, was in a bad state.

Significant other, it was a term you caught yourself using for the first time, actually these were all feelings you were experiencing for the first time so...in your face. You knew you liked and cared for Philip, but this went deeper than that, you were so worried and wanted him to be safe so much because you didn't dare imagine what would happen if that wasn't the case. 

But at the moment you weren't totally focusing on that, he was okay, and you could finally calm down, and that was what mattered to you. Your smile faltered when tears of overwhelming emotions flooded your eyes, clouding your vision a bit before one went down.

-Baby, what's wrong?- Philip's eyes twitched between yours, the hand on your forearm came up to wipe the hot teardrop.

-Nothing, nothing...- you sniffed, wiping your own hand over your eyes- I was just...I was so worried...- 

You didn't mean for it to happen but your voice quivered a little at the end, all the fear and uneasiness finally catching up to you and spilling now that you knew he was alright.

-I'm sorry it took me so long to come here...I didn't have my phone with me, and with the whole catering thing, job...- you stumbled on your words as you tried to explain why his girlfriend wasn't right next to him as soon as he got here.

-Hey...hey, it's okay baby, i know...- he smiled up at you, his thumb caressing your cheek fondly- I wish i could give you a hug, maybe if you come from the other side...- he trailed off, looking to his right.

Just then, with your focus back on reality in a way, did you actually take a look at him, there was an IV line on the arm that wasn't touching you, the thin bedsheet over him was accommodated so his left leg was left out of it, the cast went up to almost his knee, and his toes were left out of it, there was also a bruise on the side of his thigh, almost at his hip, which was barely covered by the hospital gown, you guessed it was because of his ridiculous height.

-Like what you see?- he teased when he saw your eyes trail up his leg, you bit your lip and rolled your eyes at him.

He laughed at your reaction, he really washed away what felt like hours of concern with one stupid comment.

-I don't, actually. What happened?- your hand came back up to run through his hair.

-Broken leg and a bruised rib, along with some other bruises- he explained, then sighed- Doctor said it's a miracle I'm alive...- 

You slapped his bicep, hoping there wasn't a bruise there, he chuckled an 'ow' through his laughing, coughing a little.

-Don't fucking say that, you scared the shit out of me!- you tried being serious, but his smile was contagious.

-I'm sorry baby...- he said once he was done laughing- Come here- 

He patted the opposite side of the bed, you went around and he tried to scoot over, hissing when he tried lifting his body, you stopped him before he could move even further and simply sat at the very edge, facing him. Then you just looked at each other, his hand came up to rest on your thigh, rubbing and squeezing very gently.

-Why did i scare you?- his brows furrowed- Didn't Paul call you? I told him to call you- he protested, you shook your head.

-He did call me, and so did my mom, he left me a voice mail but it was before they saw you, so i didn't know what happened until i got here...- you explained, remembering all of the missed calls and texts on your phone.

-Oh...- he said, his mouth stretched into a small smirk, and then widened into a grin- Were you really worried for me?-

-Yes!- you exclaimed, he beamed- Of course i worry about you...It's like i told you this morning...- you looked down at his hand over your leg.

This morning felt so far away now, you weren't angry or irritated anymore, you couldn't be further from that if you wanted to, still that didn't erase what happened, and a simple sorry didn't either, at least not to you.

-I'm sorry about this morning, i didn't want to force you into saying anything, i just see the way you talk about yourself sometimes, or the way you think other people talk about you, and it pains me...- your fingers grazed over the back of his hand- But i don't want to force it if you don't want to talk to me, i just want you to know that you can, that i care about you.- you stated, finally looking back up at him, his eyes were on you attentively.

Maybe you weren't too fond of the idea of him not wanting to tell you stuff as much as you felt like you can tell him stuff, but it wasn't your place to make a call on how he felt, you'd just have to deal with it.

-And I'm also sorry i lied...- you felt guilt bubbling up again in your throat- I wanted to go see the apartment with you, i really did, my mom just showed up last minute and...i dunno- you mumbled out of embarrassment- I didn't want it to be awkward if you both came along...-

Saying it aloud really brought forward the stupidity of that decision, or maybe it had to do with everything that happened since, still, not the right choice.

-But,- you said tilting your head- If it makes you feel better, my mom does like you.- you stated.

-Y/n...- he sighed.

-No no, really- you nodded, he paused- When i went with her she told me that she knew she hadn't been nice to you, and that it wasn't fair, and she was sorry.- 

His expression was neutral, but soft, tender, and you could see he was processing your words.

-She also said you were handsome...- you remembered, smiling at him.

You saw he tried to hold it back, but that smug smile still stretched on his face, breaking into a small chuckle.

-I see the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree- he grinned at you, voice low.

Once again your eyes rolled, you hadn't done that so much since you first started seeing him, it drove you crazy, he drove you crazy, you loved it. He was still smiling when you looked back at him, he licked his lips, and your eyes came down to them, they looked just a bit drier, you leaned forward to kiss them, wanting to feel them again, feel the scratch of his beard on your chin and tickling your top lip, you smiled into the kiss, and felt his hand come up to tangle the tips of his fingers in your hair.

You heard the door open just as you were angling your face to his, and you pulled away with your fingers over your lips, still feeling the swipe of his tongue as you turned to a nurse coming into the room followed by Judd and Paul.

-Hi, I'm Marie- she offered you her hand and a smile, you shook it.- So, how are we doing? Did the headache go away?- 

She approached the bed and you moved out of the way to let her do her job, she mentioned Philip would be staying overnight so they could monitor him, and if everything was okay tomorrow he'd be discharged. You knew they'd ask you to leave, you really didn't want to, but you also didn't want to be kicked out of the hospital.

-Any member of the family can stay, but just one of them- Marie looked around the room to Paul, Judd and you- Dinner should be around here in about...- she checked her clock- A little less than an hour, I'll see you tomorrow okay?-

That reminded you it was probably getting dark out, you should probably call your mom, and Erica, since they both might still be wondering if everything was fine, you pulled your phone out and started with your mom, she picked up almost instantly and sounded relieved when you told her everything was fine, that brought a smile to your face, she reminded you to call if you needed something. Then Erica followed, you were next to the bathroom door in the room, Paul and Judd were talking about who should stay when Erica picked up. 

-Hey!- she greeted you, sounding either surprised or relieved- How is he??- 

-Hi, he's okay...- you said in a sigh, with a smile.

-Oh that's great!- she exclaimed- And are you okay?-

-Yeah, I'm fine...Thanks for asking, and thanks for driving me- you chuckled.

-Is that Erica?- you heard Philip asking from the bed, you turned and nodded- HI ERICA!- 

You speed walked over to the bed, shushing him before his brothers, or worse, a doctor, could scold him, he giggled and then groaned, given the pain on his side that the action caused.

-Philip we're in a hospital!- you screamed whispering.

At the other end of the line Erica laughed, and you couldn't help it either, you pulled the phone away from your ear and put her on speaker.

-Hey Philip- she chuckled- How are you?-

-Oh I'm great, thanks for driving my beautiful girlfriend to me- he smiled up at you, you shook your head and he winked.

-No problem, i hope you get better soon!- you heard her say.

Philip thanked her and she let you know that if you needed anything you could call her as well, you asked her to let Louie know about what happened and that you’d call him yourself later. 

You noticed Paul and Judd were still debating on who should take care of Philip, Paul stood his ground saying he could either take care of the store or take care Philip, but not both, and apparently whoever were to take care of him would basically have to move in back to their mom’s house, since Philip would be completely on bed rest for a little less than a month, and would need help doing basically anything.

-Guys, sorry to interrupt, but if you don’t mind I’d like to do it, i mean i live right across the street, i can take care of him...- you said, standing up to walk over to them.

-Yeah I’m not letting either of you see me naked.- Philip sentenced, you knew although it sounded like a joke it wasn’t.

-Fair point...- Judd sighed, looking over at Paul who looked at you before nodding.

Paul offered to drive you back home, but you insisted on staying here tonight, assuring them it was fine, that took a little more convincing since it was supposed to be a family member that could stay, but you pushed and Philip protested, and Paul gave in with a sigh, Judd patted Philip on the shoulder and told him to behave before they left.

Then it was the two of you, you took a look around the room then, there was some sort of armchair that looked like your neck was going to hurt tomorrow, you heard Philip rustle and hiss next to you and you turned to face him again, he was trying to move to the side, you were quick to try and stop him.

-It’s okay, see, now you can lay next to me- he smiled, patting the spot on his left.

Technically you could lay next to him, didn’t mean you would fit though, the bed wasn’t exactly king size and he was almost as broad as it, still he looked at you with insisting eyes, you sighed.

-Philip you’re not supposed to move so much...- you scolded him, even though you were already taking your shoes and climbing up the bed carefully.

He lifted his arm in an invitation to cuddle him, you were slow and careful as you did so, you knew the only side of his body that was beaten up was the right but still, he was sore all over and you didn’t want to make it worse. You scooted and wiggled your body to accommodate to the slim space, and he corrected you by pulling you flush against his side and lifting your leg with his opposite hand for you to hike it up his thigh.

Still, you were almost trying to hover above him, barely laying your head on his chest, if moving to the side a little made him hiss you didn’t your weight over him would be any nicer. It wasn’t until he lifted your chin, leaning down to press his lips on yours that you relaxed, draping an arm over his chest as his tongue swiped over your bottom lip, you let him in, taking his bottom lip and sucking on it, he deepened the kiss, leaning over you until he had to pull away with a small yelp, the pain on his side catching up to his movements.

-Fuck...- he groaned.

-I guess there’s not gonna be much of that for a while...- you joked.

He sighed in exasperation before going back to just hold you, your head laid over his clavicle and he kissed the top of your hair.

-I kind of always wanted to have sex in a hospital bed...- he thought out loud.

-Hm, let me guess, with a hot nurse in a tight little dress?- your tone showed the equivalent of you rolling your eyes.

-No...- he lingered- With the scrubs on but no pants...- he admitted.

You bit your lip and sighed, enjoying his completely out of place comments, and resting your head back over his chest so you could feel the rising and falling, and take in his scent already invading the sanitized smell of the hospital gown. There was silence and warmth in his embrace, it felt safe, which was ironic because you were the one who wanted to keep him safe, holding him as if that would stop anything else from happening to him.

Today was scary and eye opening, you realized just how deeply you cared for Philip, far from the basics like talking about whatever was bothering him.

He scared the life out of you, maybe because he was slowly becoming a bigger part of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh cmon, I’m not that mean 😏


End file.
